Quote:
Try not to act out in my disease in today, by hitting out and not take on the feelings that I have to defend myself. I would go on the defensive, right or wrong because I felt I was spiritually led to do what I did, but then I realized my God could fight for Himself, and He didn't need me to stand up for Him.
Always the caretaker of the under dog, and if you hurt a friend, you hurt me too. That was a biggy for me, many battles I fought which were none of my business.
Many battles I fought, which I should have left to my God and not added my 2 cents. When I do my meditation, especially if I am looking for inner knowing, and you get a card, you don't like it, shuffle the deck, ask again and you get cards that say, "You already asked this" or "I get the same card again," or "I get a card that says, "What is your motive and intent." Instead of wording things and wanting things my way, I try to go where I am lead. My cards have affirmed that many times over. Many times I have posted something, and the posted a reading and the thought or idea is an affirmation or a duplicate of what I have already said."
So I try to stay relaxed in today, go and do where I am lead, although there are days when I dig in my heels and I say, "Won't!" I know in the long run, I need to stay within the perimeters of my God's Care.
From 2013
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This sounds like accepting versus self justification. I always seemed to feel the need to justify why I did something and just couldn't seem to accept that I had a right to just do and be.
I took things personally and I felt it was a slight against me and I felt like I had to explain myself. I just couldn't let it go and be, I had to get all defensive, get my back up and either mouth off or go off in a snit. Glad I don't have to go there any more, doesn't mean I don't, but don't remember the last time I did. I am grateful for a HP who I can take my defects of character to and ask for help to have them removed.
