Today's Thought - April

[bluidkiti]

April 1

Unextinguished laughter shakes the skies.

~Homer

From the beginning of recorded literature, poets have sung of the glory of laughter. Being human means having the power to laugh, and as long as we are here, we will surely need and cherish that power.

Laughter can reconcile us with others and with the world. When we watch a funny movie, for example, we feel a bond with others as we laugh together. Through our laughter we are brought closer to other people.

Addiction isolates and drives us into ourselves. We retreat from our common humanity into a single unhappy consciousness. Our world narrows and joy retreats. Laughter is shut out.

In our groups we rediscover the joy of belonging to a community. Laughter is one sign of that community, and as we join in, we feel our isolation fading and a new sense of love and belonging emerging.

I am rediscovering the joy of laughter that keeps me in touch with others.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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April 2

Intellectualizing

Don’t intellectualize, utilize.

~Anonymous

Many times we waste our minds by using them too much. A mind out of control can waste a life. Our mind can tell us we are better or less than another. It can tell us we need things we don’t, and that we should fear situations we needn’t. The power of the mind to intellectualize a life into a mess is amazing.

Our program should be utilized not intellectualized. We do not need to waste time debating points about the program. We will not resolve with other intellectuals whether or not alcoholism and drug addiction are physical diseases or bad habits. The point, for us addicts, is that we will waste our life, die, or go insane if we do not stay in recovery. All we have to do is look around a meeting room to see whether or not it works.

The Steps tell me HOW the program works. The Traditions tell me WHY it works. My sponsor and fellow members show me THAT it works.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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April 3

We must be willing to forgive without limit even as God forgives; otherwise we cannot be forgiven.

~Nels F. S. Ferré

Few of us find it easy to forgive a genuinely felt offense. We may be too protective of our ego. Our grievances are too deeply embedded. So in trying to forgive, we often give offense. As a consequence, the effort to forgive becomes an opportunity for us to act as judge and jury, to see someone’s error and, magnanimously, not hold it against him or her. Or to make sure the offender sees how long-suffering and tolerant we are. Or to bargain: if the offender will only do such-and-such, we’ll forgive.

In such grudging hands, real forgiveness hardly stands a chance. Better that we ask our Higher Power to do it for us. We can help best by asking God to take over. To truly appreciate the healing force of forgiveness, we must be willing to extend it all the way.

I will ask nothing in exchange for my forgiveness.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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April 4

I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.

~Amelia Earhart

Fear of failure plagues many women, not just those who get into trouble with drugs, alcohol, food. Those of us in this recovery program may still fear failure. Halting our addiction doesn't solve all our problems, but it does allow us to realistically take stock of our assets. Knowing our assets and accepting them provides the confidence we need to attempt a project, to strive for a goal.

Another plus of this recovery program is the help available from our groups and our higher power. All things become possible when we understand we are not alone. Seeing other women strive and succeed or strive, fail, and strive again, undefeated, creates an energy flow that can spur us on, if we choose. Feeling good about others' accomplishments can motivate each of us.

Today, I will pay particular attention to the accomplishments of other women, those close to me and those I read or hear about. I will believe their example and feel the forward push.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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April 5

We don’t pay our sponsors for their time. Instead, we pay it forward. We turn around and help the next person. That’s how the whole thing works.

~Michael Graubart

We all stand on the shoulders of those who have been our teachers, and on the shoulders of those who taught our teachers. When we pick a sponsor for our recovery, we look for someone we admire and trust, someone who has demonstrated success in his recovery.

Perhaps we feel we have a long way to go and a lot to learn. Perhaps we are struck by the big job we have ahead. But all we need to do is make progress. And we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. When we learn from our sponsor and from other people in our recovery community who are making progress, we get to stand on their shoulders. They let us see much more than we could see alone.

Today, I am grateful for all the benefits of having a good sponsor.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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April 6

AA Thought for the Day

A lot of well-meaning people treat alcoholics like the priest and the Levite. They pass by on the other side by scorning them and telling them what low people they are, with no willpower. Whereas, they really have fallen for alcohol, in the same way as the man in the story fell among robbers. And the member of AA who is working with others is like the Good Samaritan. Am I moved with compassion? Do I take care of another alcoholic whenever I can?
Meditation for the Day

I must constantly live in preparation for something better to come. All of life is a preparation for something better. I must anticipate the morning to come. I must feel, in the night of sorrow, that understanding joy that tells of confident expectation of better things to come. “Sorrow may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Know that God has something better in store for you, as long as you are making yourself ready for it. All your existence in this world is training for a better life to come.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that when life is over, I will return to an eternal, spaceless life with God. I pray that I may make this life a preparation for a better life to come.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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April 7

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent.

~Erica Jong

How easy it is to look at others with envy, certain that everyone we know is better in every way: school, sports, games, appearance. What we may not know is that each of us is exactly right the way we are. And what's more, no one of us is without talent. Perhaps we simply have not discovered it yet, or maybe we've been certain we knew what the talent should be, rather than letting the talent within us emerge.

It's reassuring to know that we are talented, that we are special just as we are, that no one else is able to bring to this life exactly the same ingredients that we're able to bring.

What special talent shall I exercise today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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April 8

The only way to speak the truth is to speak lovingly.

~Henry David Thoreau

Recovery teaches us to tell the truth. We must be honest if we want to save our lives. We must learn to speak with care—care for ourselves and for others.

To be honest means to speak in a fair and truthful way. To be honest and loving means learning when to speak, and how to speak, in a caring way. We can help others by honestly telling them what we think and feel and see—but only when we do this with love.

We must be careful when we speak. Speaking the truth is like using a very sharp knife—it can be used for good, or it can be used to hurt others. We should never handle it carelessly or use it to hurt someone.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me know the truth. Help me speak the truth to others with love.
Action for the Day

I’ll make a list of three times I’ve hurt someone by being honest, but not with love. I’ll also list three times I’ve helped someone by being truthful, with love.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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April 9

For him who confesses, shams are over and realities have begun; he has exteriorized his rottenness. If he has not actually got rid of it, he at least no longer smears it over with a hypocritical show of virtue.

~William James

On the path we are following, confession is a frequent part of our experience. We admit our powerlessness; we make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and admit our wrongs; we make amends to people we have harmed; and we continue with personal inventory, promptly admitting our wrongs. With each of these Steps, we grow spiritually. By expressing on the outside what we privately know inside, we feel relief and gain self-respect.

Sometimes we have harbored and protected a real rottenness inside that needed to be exposed so we could change. Other times, what we felt was rottenness turned out—under the light of confession—to be only a human foible in need of airing. In either case, we grew stronger as we drew closer to reality and gave up the show of virtue by admitting our mistakes.

I will walk the path of recovery today by confessing my wrongs promptly.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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April 10

Sticking to the basics

If we don’t stick to the basics, we’ll lose sight of who we are and where we came from. We are not perfect, spiritual giants. We’re addicts who have found a solution to our living problem, a practical solution to an impractical lifestyle.

And if we forget the basics—where we come from, working the Steps, and attending meetings—we may be subject to unrealistic ideals and illusions. These can get in the way of recovery.

Am I learning to live one day at a time?

Higher Power, help me to keep it simple and stick to the basics.

Today I’ll be sure to stick to the basics by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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April 11

Reflection for the Day

Looking back at those last desperate days before I came to recovery, I remember more than anything the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Even when I was surrounded by people, including my own family, the sense of “aloneness” was overwhelming. Even when I tried to act sociable and wore the mask of cheerfulness, I usually felt a terrible anger of not belonging. Will I ever forget the misery of “being alone in a crowd”?
Today I Pray

I thank my Higher Power for the greatest single joy that has come to me outside of my sobriety—the feeling that I am no longer alone. May I not assume that loneliness will vanish overnight. May I know that there will be a lonely time during recovery, especially since I must pull away from my former junkie friends or drinking buddies. I pray that I may find new friends who are recovering. I thank my Higher Power for the fellowship of the program.
Today I Will Remember

I am not alone.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

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April 12

Old habits are hard to break.

Our behavior and beliefs were ingrained by the time we entered the Twelve Step program. Our family of origin had taught us how to interpret our experiences. Our friends had complimented us for our values, or for the absence of them. So we had developed stock responses to many situations. We didn’t think very hard or long about what to do. Unfortunately, we made many mistakes.

We are learning from those mistakes now, and we are slowly developing new responses. We are learning how to listen rather than how to shame or try to control. We are learning how to let other people make their own decisions. Seeking help from people who share this program is a big step for us. From the Steps we are absorbing a new set of values and a new understanding of who we really are. And we are trying to give our lives and will to God daily.

Our process for change will be a long one, but perfection is not expected. Making a tiny bit of progress, every day, is all that’s necessary.

I can’t change the things that need changing overnight. Just knowing that some habits need to go is a beginning. Today I’ll work on one of them.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

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April 13

Self-love can seem a confusing maze in which many of us feel lost and hopeless. We hold on tightly to memories of the love we did not receive in the past, using them as a shield to protect us from being vulnerable and hurt again. Our hearts stay closed, although the yearning for deep connection may remain.

Self-love asks us to be mindful and hold our own well-being and happiness in positive regard. This is not a narcissistic, selfish perspective, an always aim-to-feel-good state. Rather, it is an honoring of our very being. It is a dynamic appreciation for both our strengths and weaknesses, grounded in the gradual acceptance of who we are as a whole being—with all our unique physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual flavors and flaws.

Addictive behaviors helped us run from our faults rather than learn to accept and then, perhaps, transform them. Knowing what we feel, think, and want leads to a deeper understanding of self-care and healthy boundaries. It is a lifelong journey that we nourish by small actions and wise choices each and every day.

Today, I will focus on improving one personal quality that will help me love myself more.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

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April 14

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

~Step Four of Al-Anon

By the time we get to the Fourth of the Twelve Steps, we are ready to face our darker side, the side that prevents us from loving ourselves and others, from letting others love us, and from enjoying life. The purpose of Step Four is not to make ourselves feel worse; our purpose is to begin to remove our blocks to joy and love.

We look for fears, anger, hurt, and shame from past events—buried feelings that may be affecting our life today. We search for subconscious beliefs about ourselves and others that may be interfering with the quality of our relationships. These beliefs say: I’m not lovable… I’m a burden to those around me… People can’t be trusted… I can’t be trusted… I don’t deserve to be happy and successful… Life isn’t worth living. We look at our behaviors and patterns with an eye toward discerning the self-defeating ones. With love and compassion for ourselves, we try to unearth all our guilt—earned and unearned—and expose it to the light.

We perform this examination without fear of what we shall find, because this soul-searching can cleanse us and help us feel better about ourselves than we ever dreamt possible.

God, help me search out the blocks and barriers within myself. Bring what I need to know into my conscious mind, so I can be free of it. Show me what I need to know about myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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April 15

Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.

~Samuel Butler

The trouble with deep feelings is they shout over the soft-spoken voices of our thoughts. When our consciousness is bombarded with the deafening volume of out-of-control emotions, perspective is impossible.

When fear is in control, fight or flight are our only options. More often than not, we choose flight and scurry off to one of our numerous hiding places. There, we can’t hear the dissenting opinions voiced by our own thoughts; in effect, our most responsible self is drowned out.

But action talks louder than fear or any other rampaging emotion. If confronted directly and bravely, any tyrant emotion reveals itself as a mouse rather than a lion, a mouse whose terrifying roar is really a squeak held up to a microphone.

Let me not be intimidated by emotional outbursts. I know that persistent, rational action will see me through.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children