Today's Thought - September

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September 1

Finding the common bond

We are one among so many and may feel “terminally unique.” We need help; we need each other.

If we see that we’re all in the same boat, that we’re more alike than different, we can diminish whatever seems to separate us. Then we can offer each other our experience, strength, and hope.

Can I look for the common bond?

Higher Power, help me find what I share with my fellow travelers.

To make a connection with one other person today, I will…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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September 2

The hand that holds the whip over our heads is most often our own.

~Harvey Egan

We must learn to be as patient with ourselves as God is with us. That’s a tall order for adult children who, almost by definition, can’t tolerate imperfection in themselves. Instead of having to “be perfect and be perfect now,” most of us need to be far less critical of ourselves. We need to give ourselves a break.

When we forgive ourselves for being human, we are acting as God acts toward us. God knows who and what we are. He doesn’t expect perfection. We’re the ones who do that.

Playing both taskmaster and whipping boy at the same time is too much for anybody. It is an example of a classic double bind that plagues so many adult children.

We need to learn to be neither tyrant nor cringing victim. The task is to learn to establish sane boundaries and learn that because we are special and deserving of marvelous things, we don’t have to abuse ourselves by unrealistic expectations or minimize our successes.

Today, I will examine my expectations and celebrate my successes.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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September 3

An asset can become a defect.

A positive trait many of us share is that we are good managers—we handle our responsibilities at home and on the job efficiently. Often our self-worth is tied to the praise we receive from other people. But it’s a short leap from being a good manager to handling responsibilities that clearly belong to someone else. When we make that leap, we suddenly turn an admirable asset into a defect.

Our propensity for taking over the responsibilities of others comes from our need to control and our desire for continued affirmation of our skills. Being good managers over some aspects of our lives wins us desired compliments. Thus we figure that managing other people’s lives will guarantee us love!

But we learn in the Twelve Step program that the truth is quite different. “Let go and let God,” “Live and let live,” the Twelve Step program tells us. These slogans seem foreign at first. Watching others and learning from them, however, change how we see our purpose in life. The change feels good, in time.

Managing my own life is my only assignment today.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

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September 4

Feeling Protected

Our task is not a naive one of feeling safe, of living and loving in a utopian world. One woman commented that our task is making ourselves feel safe while learning to live and love in a world that is unsafe.

We do not want to dwell on the dangers, for that gives power to the negative. Neither do we want to ignore them or pretend they don’t exist.

If we were going to sunbathe, we would not be naive about the dangers from the sun. We know that harmful rays can burn. We would take steps to protect ourselves, so that we could enjoy the benefits of the sun. That is our task in recovery.

This is what a woman, a helping professional, told me: Picture a sunscreen surrounding you. Place it around yourself—not too heavy and thick so no light can penetrate, and not so thin that you are exposed to danger. See yourself protected by a sunscreen that is effective. Make certain that the screen is open to the good. For a while, your screen was too heavy. It held back what you wanted. Now change it to let the good come through.

This is your screen for life and the world. See it. Imagine it surrounding you always. It wraps you in love, in comfort, in protection. No harm can enter. No negative energy can penetrate the screen.

Go in peace; go in safety; go, now, knowing you are protected. Go anywhere you need to go. The evil has been blocked; the goodwill comes pouring forth. You do not have to work so hard at protecting yourself. You can relax and enjoy life, trusting that you are safe. Go without fear, for you are wrapped in love and protection. And you shall always be.

Today, I will envision myself wrapped in a shield that blocks the negative and harmful rays of the world, but it is constructed so that the good can enter.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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September 5

Reflection for the Day

“Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow,” wrote Goethe. I ask myself sometimes, as we all do: “Who am I?” “Where am I?” “Where am I going?” “What’s it all about?” The learning and growing process is usually slow. But eventually our seeking always brings a finding. What seem like great mysteries often turn out to be enshrined in complete simplicity. Have I accepted the fact that my willingness to grow is the essence of my spiritual development?
Today I Pray

Higher Power, give me patience and the perseverance to keep on hoeing the long row, even when the end of it is out of sight. The principles of the program are my almanac for growing, even more than harvesting. The harvest will come, abundant enough to share, if I can stick to my garden tending.
Today I Will Remember

Getting there, not being there.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

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September 6

A key aspect of any exploration into purpose involves the concept of right livelihood—finding work that offers us something we believe needs doing, beyond pay benefits, vacations, and security. Right livelihood narrows the gap between what we dream and what we do, and deeply honors the gifts we have to offer the world, while acknowledging what is required for survival. This notion intimately weaves together work, money, and creative expression. A basic principle is “We must not work hard to get what we don’t want!”

How do we define success for ourselves? Much flows from that deceptively simple query. Meaningful work marries passions with skills, allowing us to measure success in any currency we choose: money, people helped, habitats saved, the degree to which we are experiencing peace, health, and love—whatever our own personal criteria may be. Most people direct their precious time and life energy into accumulating money and the stuff it buys, trying to create a sense of security and diverting themselves. But does it make sense to give up five days doing what is not fulfilling, so we can enjoy the other two?

Even if we can’t live it right now, we can at least envision work that is more satisfying, the first step to making it so!

Freedom from substances offers more opportunities for meaningful work, aligned with purpose.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

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September 7

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution.

~Kahlil Gibran

We seem to think that the mean people are strong. We give power to people who are rude or cruel. Many of us used to play by those rules. We were afraid, so we acted mean, rude, tough, or cool to keep people away from us. We tried to make other people more scared of us than we were of them.

Now in recovery, we are learning kindness is strength. It’s not easy to be kind when others are mean or when we are in pain or afraid. It’s not easy to think about others instead of ourselves when we are tired or frustrated with problems of our own. But we are learning to do these things, and we are becoming strong enough to do them. We are not ruled by our feelings anymore. We can choose to be kind and tender.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me remember that all true strength and power come from you. Give me grace today to be strong, kind, and tender.
Today's Action

Today I will think about the tugs of frustration, anger, and fear I’ve felt over the past twenty-four hours. I will talk with my sponsor about how to “Let go and let God.”

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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September 8

When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

~Tao Te Ching

Working the Twelve Steps is the process of being and becoming. It is finding, knowing, and accepting who we are. It is having the willingness to fall down, stumble around, and make mistakes. It is being in tune with the constant process of death and rebirth that is part of life’s rhythm.

Each of us has an internal timetable—the rhythm of our spirit. Discovering what it is and living according to its direction can bring us untold serenity and joy. It also brings us energy, because we’re not fighting ourselves and reality. So often we are our own worst enemy. But to face who we are and to learn from it is to be created anew. In the process, we discover our own truths. Maybe that’s part of what a spiritual awakening is: seeing the truth in a new way.

Living according to the guidance of our spirit and in harmony with our body, mind, and emotions is a solitary journey, but one that brings us close to other people and to life. It takes patience, and it brings true peace.

I am able to trust that in my recovery I am learning new things as I need to learn them. I am comfortable with the pace of my recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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September 9

Unity

All your strength is in your union. All your danger is in discord.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

History is full of examples of how important unity in purpose and execution is in any act. Joining forces can create the triumph of good and the defeat of evil. “United we stand, divided we fall” has been a battle cry voiced by men and women from all nations and levels of society when they unite for a common cause.

Those in the program know from the very beginning of their recovery that building control over their addiction can never happen without the aid of others who have the same problems.

Early in our program of growth, we were told about our First Tradition, that our common welfare always comes first. Unless we recognize the fact that we need the help of other members, and are willing to go to any lengths to achieve success, we are headed for failure.

“One for all, and all for one” applies to my recovery. I can’t do it alone.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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September 10

We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.

~Martin Luther King Jr.

The profound inner truth of our life is that we have a lifelong partnership with God. As we strengthen our awareness of this constant, love-filled presence, we’ll be less able to cloud our mind with critical thoughts. Any thought we choose to hold that is not blessing someone harms us as much as the other person. Returning our thoughts to God, even when our ego is struggling to think mean thoughts, will release us from the bondage of negativity.

Our Twelve Step program offers us freedom from this bondage every time we contemplate the Third Step. Letting God take charge of our will promises us freedom from harmful actions and thoughts. How lucky we are to have this guidance in our life. Our teachers are everywhere. From some of them we experience direct communication from our Higher Power. From others we gain countless opportunities to let our Higher Power direct our actions toward love.

I will correct my thinking today by filling my mind with the presence of God rather than unholy thoughts.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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September 11

People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more.

~Margaret Collier Graham

Life is not without pain and travail. They are necessary to new awareness which prompts growth. And the gift of growth is joy. Pain and joy are thus intertwined. It is possible to feel only the burden of pain and not the exhilaration of joy, however.

Before seeking help to change our lives, many of us were heavily burdened by pain. But we were unable to open ourselves to the knowledge made possible by that pain. We were on a treadmill, accumulating painful experiences at every step, unable to capture the joy that was ever present.

We can have hope. Joy does await each of us today. We must open our eyes to it, just as we must open our hearts to one another. We must be willing to peel away the layers of pain to expose the core, the seedling of joy. And we need joy in our lives, just as surely as we need rest and a good diet. We need the light heart that joy fosters for a better perspective on the many experiences we'll face today, and every day.

Recovery has given me this new option. It guarantees me that every burden will be lightened. The knowledge that joy is inherent, within every experience, is mine, now and forever.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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September 12

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat.

~Christy Mathewson

We all know the face of painful defeat. We tried to win, but some of our ways led to disgrace and shame. We used unwise and self-indulgent methods to cope with life’s problems. Those defeats were devastating. But it’s not only bad choices and mistakes that create loss and heartache. Inevitably, adult life forces everyone to face powerlessness. That is a spiritual lesson that some of us accept more readily than others. Some guys don’t easily give up the heady feeling of power and the pride of doing things their own way, even when their own way brings repeated defeat.

With only victories, we might stay stuck as superficial boys for the rest of our lives. What would push us to learn? From the broken pieces of painful events, we are forced to learn something new. We can no longer hold on to our voracious appetites and our stubborn willfulness. We have to finally open our minds to the wisdom of others. Through our failures we are strengthened. In facing powerlessness, we truly grow from boyishness into genuine manhood.

Today, I am grateful for all that I have learned from my defeats.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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September 13

AA Thought for the Day

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as extensive work with other alcoholics. Carry the message to other alcoholics. You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Life will take on a new meaning for you. To watch people recover, to see them help others in turn, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss.” Am I always ready and willing to help other alcoholics?
Meditation for the Day

One secret of abundant living is the art of giving. The paradox of life is that the more you give, the more you have. If you lose your life in the service of others, you will save it. You can give abundantly and so live abundantly. You are rich in one respect—you have a spirit that is inexhaustible. Let no mean or selfish thought keep you from sharing this spirit. Of love, of help, of understanding, and of sympathy, give and keep giving. Give your personal ease and comfort, your time, your money, and most of all, yourself. And you will be living abundantly.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may live to give. I pray that I may learn this secret of abundant living.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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September 14

Something can't happen every day. You get up, go to work, come back, eat again, enjoy some leisure, go back to bed. Now that's plenty for most folks.

~Ntozake Shange

When we were all little kids, before we started school, the days felt so long it seemed as if we had time for everything.

But when we started school, we had to start living by the clock, and in this way, we became very grown up. Sometimes we feel angry about living by the clock, all of us who are first grade and older! But there are things we can do to help us live with these limits. First, we can learn to set a goal for each day, and once we have reached that goal—whether it's doing spelling homework, mopping the floor, or writing three business letters—we can announce to whoever happens to be around, "Now that I've completed that, I don't have to worry about one more thing to feel worthwhile."

Second, we can believe what we said! We can relax, do something fun, enjoy the pleasures that the day offers.

What is my goal for today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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September 15

People seldom improve when they have no model but themselves to copy.

~Oliver Goldsmith

If we had to get well by ourselves, we’d be in trouble. We’ve already tried this route. We need to learn a new way to live, not the old way we already know.

That’s why we have sponsors in Twelve Step programs. Sponsors are one of the best things about our recovery program. We pick people who are happy and doing well in recovery. Then we copy them. We copy them because sponsors are special people who have what we want. They have sobriety. They have happiness. They have common sense. They have peace and serenity. And they will help us get those things too. We learn a new way to live from them.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me pick good models. Help me copy what works for them.
Action for the Day

If I don’t have a sponsor now, I’ll work today on getting one. If I do have a sponsor already, I will thank them today for being a good model for living the program.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal