Today's Thought - January

[bluidkiti]

January 1

I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a shiny sliver out of one hour. I dropped it carelessly. O God! I knew not I held an opportunity.

~Hazel Lee

Once, a famous artist was hired to put stained glass windows into a great cathedral. His eager young apprentice pleaded for the chance to design just one small window. The master artist feared an experiment on even a small window would prove costly, but the persistent young apprentice kept up his pleas. Finally, the master agreed that he could try his hand on one small window if he furnished his own materials and worked on his own time.

The enterprising apprentice began gathering bits of glass his master had discarded, and set to work. When the cathedral doors were open, people stood in groups before the small window, praising its delicate excellence.

Our lives are like this. If we take the time to gather together the moments and opportunities we too often discard and waste, we find we can weave them into something beautiful.

What can I make of moments I usually waste today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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January 2

We …

~First word of the Twelve Steps

We. This little word says a lot about the Twelve Steps. Our addiction made us lonely. The we of the program makes us whole again. It makes us a member of a loving, growing group of people.

Our addiction isolated us from others. We couldn’t be honest. We felt a lot of shame. But all this is in the past. The “we” of the program helps us live outside ourselves. Now we tell each other about our pasts. We comfort each other. We try to help each other.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to join the “we” of the program. Help me to admit and accept my illness, so the healing can begin.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll work to make the “we” of the program even stronger. I’ll find someone to help.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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January 3

To be alive is power,
Existing in itself,
Without a further function,
Omnipotence enough.

~Emily Dickinson

Being a person in this world is an amazing gift. A spiritual awakening promised by this program is open to us. But today, not all of us feel powerful and alive. We may feel weak, inadequate to our task, perplexed, or stymied. Is this a day in which we are filled with exuberance for the gift of life? Or is this a day when we’re feeling subdued by life’s burdens?

Perhaps we need to evaluate our perspective. Are we trying to control something or someone? Are we acting as if the world should be as we want rather than as it is? Have our individual wills exceeded their natural bounds and spoiled the simple joy of being “without a further function”?

May I find the pleasure and exuberance today that come with being alive. The simple power to be a person is “omnipotence enough.”

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 4

Seeking growth

We are where we are for a reason. As long as that reason remains, we remain where we are. If we aren’t where we think we should be, working the program will help us get to where our deepest self longs to be. This is growth.

And growth is work. We must be willing to do the simple things that our new understanding asks of us. We are never given more than we can handle, and the loving help we need along the way is always available. But we never get this help in advance, only as we need it.

Am I seeking growth?

Higher Power, help me want to grow and be willing to do the simple things, day by day, that add up to big changes.

I will seek growth today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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January 5

Don’t Let the Past Ruin Today

When I was sobering up, I needed to be employed through a “work therapy” program. I was in a meeting with my counselor looking for jobs when I told her that I liked working at the VA hospital, so I wanted to get a job here. She looked at me like I had lost my mind. I am a convicted felon and would have to pass a background check. But I had accepted that my life was more valuable than what was on paper. I graduated drug court, and I showed up to work every day. I walked miles and rode buses to get there. I was on a mission to get hired at the VA medical center.

I realized the mountain I needed to climb to be considered for federal employment. I applied for the job, and my background was flagged. I called the background investigator and was honest about everything. He said that a housekeeping or kitchen position might be a better fit. I could have accepted that as a small victory, but it wasn’t the position that I was training for. By the end of the call, he gave me a job in what I was trained to do, sterile processing. I just celebrated my second year of federal employment. Life changed when I started believing in myself again.

Today I will live in the moment and not let my past ruin today.

~JR W., U.S. Army, 1987–1995

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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January 6

Reflection for the Day

I’m beginning to see just how unnatural my old life actually was, and that it became increasingly unnatural as my disease progressed. The longer I’m in recovery, the more natural this new way of life seems. At first, it was impossible for me to extend my hand to a fellow person in recovery; such an act was wholly unnatural for me. But it is becoming increasingly easier for me to reach out to other people in recovery. Sharing my experience, strength, and hope is becoming a natural part of daily living. Have I learned that I can’t keep what I’ve gotten unless I “give it away”? Will I take the time to share today?
Today I Pray

May I share my love, my joy, my happiness, my time, my hospitality, my knowledge of things on earth, and my faith in a Higher Power. Even though I may not see the results of my acts of sharing, may I take joy in the acts themselves. May sharing and connecting with others become as natural to me as speaking or breathing.
Today I Will Remember

Be never sparing in caring and sharing.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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January 7

Detachment doesn’t mean denying compassion.

Approaching life with detachment may seem cold at first. We are accustomed to offering lots of help to other people. Thus, the first few times we back off from what has become our natural inclination, we feel uncomfortable.

Through this program we are learning so much about ourselves. For example, we never knew that we attained much of our worth from how we took care of others. Detachment doesn’t mean we stop loving them. We are discovering that letting them be wholly in charge of themselves is really far more loving. And it doesn’t mean we can’t have deep feelings of care and concern. We simply need to stop doing for others what they need to do for themselves.

I will evaluate my need for taking care of a friend’s problem today. Letting others take care of themselves is far more loving.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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January 8

Now and then, some of us are … tempted just to give up, and go back to the old misery.

~Living Sober

The pull of habit is powerful, and that of addiction almost irresistible. Our intellectual knowledge of what’s good for us, even our experience of greater well-being after we’ve let go of old behaviors for a time, sometimes can’t compete with the powerful lure of our old dependencies. Fortunately, we have equally powerful tools and resources to support new ways of being and acting. “No” is not the only word in our arsenal; the word “help” can keep us from isolation.

Attending a recovery meeting, telephoning a sponsor or trusted friend, praying for assistance from our Higher Power, reading spiritual or recovery literature, writing in a journal, doing a walking or chanting meditation, working one of the Steps, making a gratitude list—any one of these actions helps us not to have to struggle alone. Admitting that we’re powerless over an old dependency can be the door that gives us access to the power of our communities and our spiritual tools.

Today, I can ask for help.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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January 9

Enjoying Recovery

What a journey!

This process of growth and change takes us along an ever-changing road. Sometimes the way is hard and craggy. Sometimes we climb mountains. Sometimes we slide down the other side on a toboggan.

Sometimes we rest. Sometimes we grope through the darkness. Sometimes we’re blinded by sunlight. At times many may walk with us on the road; sometimes we feel nearly alone.

Ever changing, always interesting, always leading someplace better, someplace good.

What a journey!

Today, God, help me relax and enjoy the scenery. Help me know I’m right where I need to be on my journey.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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January 10

God will wait as long as it takes for us.

~Rev. R. Walters

Whenever we try to understand, analyze, or probe too much into the reasons for love, we damage it. All that can really be done with love is accept it.

God has said He loves us. We are loved. Regardless of all the painful experiences we may have had that convinced us that love never lasts, or that love may be fine for others but it just doesn’t work for us—regardless of what we may have learned of love—God has said He loves us.

There is a lovely parable in Scripture about the lost sheep and the steadfast love of the shepherd. When the one sheep became lost, as the parable goes, the shepherd did not simply write it off as the cost of doing business. The shepherd searched diligently until the lost sheep was found. No mention is made of scolding, abuse, or punishment—simply the joy the shepherd felt at finding one of his own that was lost.

We are as loved as that lost sheep and, at times, as lost. Whether we feel we are worth it or not, the Shepherd patiently, faithfully searches us out. We cannot outrun God’s reach.

Today, I ask God to deepen my faith.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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January 11

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

~Walter Scott

To deceive means to fool people into believing things that are not true. As addicts, we did this in many ways. We lied. We hid facts. We were sneaky. While we were trying to fool other people, we also fooled ourselves. Every lie was like a knot. Pretty soon we were a tangled mess. Our lives became unmanageable, tangled webs of life.

Our recovery program—an honesty program—tells us how we can untangle our lives. In the First Step, we admit we are all tangled up in our life of addiction. Second, we realize we can fix it. Third, we decide to take on the job of fixing it, no matter how much work it takes. In Steps Four and Five, we find the knots with the help of another person. In Steps Six to Ten, we untangle these knots.

Without the tangles, our life is free and ready to be used for whatever we decide. Steps Eleven and Twelve help us find good ways to use the gift of life.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thanks for giving me my life, strong as a good rope. Please help me keep it straight by being honest today with myself and others in everything I do.
Today's Action

Today I will work on straightening out one knot—just one.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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January 12

Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.

~Brené Brown

Shame. Even the word is stark. When we feel shame, we feel utterly worthless, not because of what we’ve done, but because of who we think we are. We think we are unlovable, incapable of giving love. The more our addiction progressed, the more out of control and powerless we felt. That’s when we found shame waiting in the chaos. We wanted to be invisible, to disappear.

But there was something we wanted more: a way out. We found it by hanging on to the knowledge that we have dignity because we have life. It was given to us by our Higher Power, who loves us unconditionally. We no longer need to feel shame because we no longer need to use people or let ourselves be used. Instead, we live in the grace and light of recovery, with dignity and in peace.

What counteracts shame? Honesty about my feelings, boundaries, living in the present, getting out of my self-absorption. These are how I can take care of myself. Above all, gentleness and self-forgiveness will restore my emotional balance.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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January 13

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is another word for letting go.

~Matthew Fox

What a wonderful discovery it is when we realize our Higher Power has forgiven our past actions! What a joy to know that as we have been delivered from our addiction, we also have been forgiven for our mistakes! We experience a love we never dreamed possible, one that accepts us for being exactly who we are and doesn’t put us down for all the trouble and pain we have caused.

As we have been forgiven, so must we forgive. Our program instructs us as to how we can receive our forgiveness and how we can extend forgiveness to others. Forgiveness is to recovery as oxygen is to the air we breathe.

We seek to get rid of all the conditions we place on our ability to forgive. There are no “ifs” in forgiveness. “If he apologizes first” or “if she changes her ways” are some of the ways we put conditions on forgiveness.

I realize that to keep my own forgiveness, I must give it away. Forgiveness is for sharing.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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January 14

Success is a process, a quality of mind and way of being.

~Alex Noble

As we think, so we are. And we can use our positive thoughts for successful living by keeping our mind on God’s presence in our life, by accepting God’s love, and by being willing to trust God’s care and direction in our life.

We won’t experience failure, doubt our worth, nor question our purpose when we commit our life to the care of God each morning as we prepare for the day. The days will flow more smoothly when God leads us on our journey.

Serenity, joy, and even success can come to us when we let God into our life. Our decisions can be made with confidence when they are directed by God’s will.

I will remember God today and find peace and happiness.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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January 15

When my heart is overflowing with gratitude, there is no room for fear.

~Kathy Kendall

Feelings can consume us. Sometimes we have positive feelings; other times we have negative feelings. The truth is, we can’t harbor opposing emotions at the same time. If we are fearful, we can’t be joyful and enthusiastic about what lies ahead. Conversely, if we are joyful and enthusiastic, we can’t be fearful about what lies ahead.

The good news is that our feelings don’t control us. It’s quite the opposite. While it may seem that feelings overcome us, the truth is, they follow our thoughts. In other words, what we manufacture in our minds gives rise to our feelings.

That means, of course, that we don’t have to harbor any feeling one minute longer than we choose. Deciding to feel grateful is just as easy as it is to feel hurt or resentful or fearful. We may not have all we desire, but we do have multiple blessings, each one of us. The more we give thanks to this program and our Higher Power, the more our blessings will multiply.

I will feel at one with my Higher Power today. I am safe, clean and sober, and in caring hands. There is nothing to fear.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*