Today's Thought - March

[bluidkiti]

March 1

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Newcomer

Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I'm not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.

Sponsor

What you're experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a "honeymoon" phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.

Then, life feels difficult again. We may perceive ourselves as having gotten worse, but that's not accurate. What's really happening is that, though our addictive craving has been treated, we still have our old problems, habits, and states of mind. We may be getting through the day, showing up for our work responsibilities, attending meetings, but not having much fun. We may wonder if what we've heard is really true -- that "our worst day in recovery is better than our best day of active addiction." We may wonder whether recovery really is the answer after all.

Our doubt makes clear to us that we have to do something. Staying where we are is too uncomfortable. We can attend a Step meeting and read program literature to begin to familiarize ourselves with our next Step. For spirits in need of healing, Step work leads to the next phase of recovery.

Today, I have the courage to move forward in my journey of recovery.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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March 2

Love doesn't just sit there like a stone: it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
--Ursula K. Le Guin

Everyone could use a new batch of love every day. Way too often, we forget to make a new batch. Then we end up eating hard, old, crumbly stuff that doesn't even taste good. We forget to talk with the people we love. We tell ourselves that they should "know" we love them, even if we haven't called to connect with them for a long time. So we expect them to live off hard, old, dry crumbs too!

But baking a fresh batch of love is a lot easier than baking bread. All we have to do is make a phone call, write a letter or an email, or stop by our mom's house. We need to deliver the message that the people we love are important. What could be easier or more rewarding?

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me remember that love is a verb - something I do, not something that can be given once and stored forever. Help me be active in loving the important people in my life.

Today's Action

I will make it a point to make a fresh batch of love today and deliver it - in person or in a phone call, email, or letter.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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March 3

The first skill needed for the Inner Game is called "letting it happen." This means gradually building a trust in the innate ability of your body to learn and to perform.
--W. Timothy Gallwey

A strange and intriguing mystery confronts us in the Twelve Steps. We are mending our ways; we are becoming accountable; we are striving to do what is right, yet we are learning to let go. This seems like a contradiction of logic, but it leads us to a spiritual awakening.

We are becoming like the accomplished tennis player who has practiced diligently to develop every detail of his skill. Yet when he is playing the game, he cannot focus on control. He must get his ego out of the way and let himself go. It is in letting go that he rises to his highest level of fulfillment. Today we will do what we must. We can make the choices we are faced with. Then we allow ourselves to be carried along by our Higher Power to complete and fulfill the process.

I will look for opportunities to let it happen today.





You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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March 4

G.O.D. = Good Orderly Direction
--Anonymous

When we decided to turn our will and lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him, we made a declaration of independence. We declared our freedom from the chains of our self-centered ego and the unrelenting demands of our self-will. When we decided that God was God and we were not, we began to receive the wonderful future that had been planned for us.

That decision was our claim to a new life. The prison that was our home has been destroyed. We decide to let go and let God on a daily basis. Our wills are always free to decide. We must decide to keep ourselves conscious at all times and listen to the voices that speak to us. We must decide to guard against our ego once again begging to run the show.

My will power will only be helpful to me when it is acting in accordance with my decision to let my Higher Power instruct me in the way to go.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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March 5

I was talking to a friend about something I didn't want to do but believed I needed to do anyway. I was dreading it and feeling irritable. Often when we talk like that, other people scowl and say, "Oh, don't let shoulds control your life. If you don't want to do it, don't."

But this man understood. "At the risk of sounding old-fashioned," he said, "duty calls."

What's there to say about duty? It's a job, for different reasons, that needs to be done - whether we really want to or feel like it.

I learned about duty when my children, Nichole and Shane, were born. A lot of things needed to be done to take good care of them, whether I felt like doing all of those things or not.

I learned throughout the years that even the most exciting jobs have uninteresting and sometimes distasteful duties. When I worked for a daily newspaper, I loved my job. I enjoyed covering front-page news. But many of the stories I was assigned to were duty stories.

Sometimes a relative needs help. A parent may get sick, grow old, or become vulnerable or infirm. While we don't want to become duty-bound and strap our entire lives with shoulds, there are times in any relationship - family, romantic, or friend - when a code of honor rules and we do what we must.

"I believe we have deeper duties too," a friend said. "If we've been given sobriety, spiritual growth, or gifts, I believe that it's our duty to pass those gifts along and share them when we're asked."

Go ahead. Say arrrgh. Dread what you're about to do. I know, there are more interesting and exciting things calling your name. But for a moment, can you put those things aside?

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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March 6

When you do something you are proud of, dwell on it a little, praise yourself for it.
--Mildred Newman

Each one of us is very good at something. Maybe it's baseball or tennis where we display talent. Maybe we're good in math or at giving reports. A few people are talented at being good listeners or helpful friends. To recognize our own talents we may need help from others. It's always so much easier to see our faults, or the ways we don't meet our own expectations.

But the fact is, we are all skilled in many areas of our lives. To accept praise -- better yet, to quietly give it to ourselves -- is a sign of healthy growth.



You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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March 7

Every new moment that arises in your life can now be a point of choice. . .in which you can choose to treat yourself and others with Compassion rather than Judgment.
--David Harp

Newcomer

I wince every time I hear the words "God as we understood Him" and "Higher Power." When meetings close with the Lord's Prayer, I feel like I'm being railroaded. I don't fit into the same religious slot that other people seem to take for granted.

Sponsor

All of us qualify to be here, but not because of any religious identification or belief. Most of us are tolerant of differences, but, being human, some of us forget that not everyone shares the same religious context. Whatever an individual member has to say about the role of his or her Higher Power, the only requirement for membership [in the Program] is the desire to stop using the addictive substance that got us here.

Once I heard a member say, "This meeting is my church." I'm glad that notion works for her. By the same token, I've always been grateful that this program is not a church otherwise I might have to rebel against it! We're not required to subscribe to a particular set of religious beliefs or rituals. In recovery, each of us is free to explore what we believe.

Today, I respect others' rights to their beliefs, just as I respect my own. I bring my love of openness, inclusiveness, and harmony with me wherever I go.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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March 8

Some of the experiences we go through are hard. We get heavy at times.

"I'm drowning in my grief," I told a friend after my son died. "It feels like I'm swimming across an ocean, and I'm getting tired."

When it's too difficult to keep swimming, float.

Action:

What's more irritating than someone condescendingly telling you to smile when you feel glum? Feel all your feelings. Don't let anyone tell you they're wrong.

"I reached in my pocket today and found joy, happiness, success and gratitude," a friend said one day when he called. At first I didn't know what he was talking about. Then I remembered. Awhile back, when he was going through a difficult time, I had given him four little stones, each one painted with one of those words.

It's important to believe in tomorrow. But give yourself the gift that keeps on giving. Believe in today.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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March 9

Reflection for the Day

When I sit quietly and compare my life today with the way it used to be, the difference is almost beyond belief. But things aren't always rosy; some days are a lot better than others. I tend to accept the bad days more easily on an intellectual level than I do emotionally, or at gut-level. There are no pat answers, but part of the solution surely lies in a constant effort to practice all of the Twelve Steps. Do I accept the fact that my Higher Power will never give me more than I can handle one day at a time?

Today I Pray

That I may receive strength in the knowledge that God never gives us more than we can bear, that I can always, somehow, endure present pain, whereas the trials of a lifetime, condensed into one disastrous moment, would surely overcome me. Thanks be to God for giving us only those tribulations which are in proportion to our strength, never destroying us in our frailty. May I remember that fortitude grows out of suffering.

Today I Will Remember

Present pain is endurable.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

March 10

Accepting Love

Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work; sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance because the other person was unavailable or refused to participate.

To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we worked too hard. We may have done all or most of the work. Doing all the work in a relationship is not loving, giving, or caring. It is self-defeating and relationship defeating. It creates the illusion of a relationship when in fact there may be no relationship. It enables the other person to be irresponsible for his or her share. Because that does not meet our needs, we ultimately feel victimized.

We can learn to participate a reasonable amount, and then let the relationship find its own life. Are we doing all the calling? Are we doing all the initiating? Are we doing all the giving? Are we the one talking about feelings and striving for intimacy?

Are we doing all the waiting, the hoping, and the work?

We can let go. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be, and it will become what it is meant to be. We do not help that process by trying to control it. We do not help ourselves, the other person, or the relationship by trying to force it or by doing all the work.

Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about making it happen. See what happens and strive to understand if that is what you want.

Today, I will stop doing all the work in my relationships. I will give myself and the other person the gift of requiring both people to participate. I do not have to do all the work; I need only do my share.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

March 11

People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind.
-- W. B. Yeats

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but our intelligence only gets in the way when we're dealing with things that really count -- our feelings and how we express them.

Love is the be all and end all. If we are capable of loving, we have nothing to worry about. If we're having trouble expressing our loving nature, our priority must be to remove the barriers. One of those barriers is our belief in the overriding importance of our intelligence.

Intelligence is like good looks; they are both unearned. And we can be sure that our Creator does not evaluate us on the basis of how intelligent we are. If we ask, God will help us overcome our reliance on our intelligence and all other handicaps that keep us from expressing love.

The best part of my mind links me to others, and to God.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

March 12

When we lose God, it is not God who is lost.
--Anonymous

At times any of us can fall into the trap of trying to make deals with God. The thought seems to be, if I can make a deal with God, then I can control the outcome that God alone seems to determine.

We cannot make deals with God - not because God is so hard-nosed, but because we don't need to bargain with God. The good we are trying to bargain for is already precious in the mind of God. We don't need to bargain for the benefit of others because God already loves those people and wants only good for them.

Yet at times we hear ourselves or others say things like, "Why doesn't God come through for me? I put my money in the offering tray every week, and I do things for my neighbors and friends. I volunteer for good causes. Yet I still feel insecure and scared. Why doesn't God answer my prayers?"

Perhaps the task is not to overwhelm God with all our effort but to quietly listen and discover that the gift was outside our door all the time. We were just too busy to pick it up.

Today, I will be open to fresh insights about the God of my understanding.



You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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March 13

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
--Charles Schulz

Living one day at a time is a big project. Most of us have just enough faith, patience, and courage to last 24 hours. We all seem to be in need of a daily refueling.

Living in today helps keep our lives balanced and simple. At first, we may need to practice staying in the present. We may find that we need to keep bringing ourselves back to today from yesterday or tomorrow.

There is nothing that will happen today that we can't, with God's help, manage.

Today let me keep my feet firmly planted in the bedrock of the present, my only reality.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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March 14

You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away.
-- Job 11:16

Many of us have painful memories we carry with us like pictures in a wallet. We keep these memories alive through feelings generated by those moments. Why are we so attached to unpleasant memories?

It's difficult to let go of memories, no matter how unpleasant. Sometimes they're a reminder of the past, but more often we clutch them because we're afraid to feel pleasant feelings today. Because the program is working in our lives, we have fewer painful times now. That may not be comfortable, so we invent new pain or dredge up the sludge of the past. As ugly as it may be, it's still familiar.

We don't have to look back. We don't have to feel misery or pain because it's familiar. We don't have to drag out that wallet and look at the images of unhappy times again. We can leave those spaces in our wallets empty, ready to be filled with new moments to remember.

I can try to make some new moments to remember. I don't need to look back anymore.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

[bluidkiti]

March 15

What we lack are not scientists but poets and people to reveal to the heart what the heart is ready to receive.
--Joseph Campbell

A short time ago, a friend handed me the following credo. It read:

This is the artist's dream:
To receive the inspiration to create,
To share that creation with others,
And to be totally supported in the process.

I asked him to explain further. "It all begins with inspiration," he said, "an inspiration that calls us to create. Once the inspiration is received, then we can bring that vision into the world as a song, painting, book, invention, new business - or any other tangible form.

"After the creation is born, it needs to be shared with others. No one creates in a vacuum. It is only when the vision is successfully communicated to its intended audience that it truly comes alive.

"Finally, the artist needs to be supported for what he does. If he has made a positive connection with his audience, the support will come - financially and emotionally. And while it may not always be there immediately, it will ultimately arrive. This is where the artist needs to trust and be patient."

This dream is not just the artist's dream. It is our dream as well. Through work or play, job or family, vocation or avocation, you can experience the joy of creating, sharing, and being acknowledged. Experience this creative process and you will never grow old in spirit. Have you ever known an artist or dreamer who "retired"?

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch