Emotional Sobriety

[bigsmitty]

Happy new year 2016 everyone. Recently I have come across more information regarding emotional sobriety and was looking for suggestions and references for further quality info on the topic. I have read Bill W.'s letter on the topic and a few other articlesand want to continue to address this topic for my own growth and as a reference if I could further point others in a helpful direction. Thanks, Greg!

[bigsmitty]

Other than Bill W.'s letter on the topic of emotional sobriety which I found online as a reprinting of a Grapevine article,I recently purchased the book Sobriety and Beyond. Good info so far, take care all.

[MajestyJo]

Have read the book, enjoy.

Sorry it took so long to find the post. I hope, if you use the search engine on the site, and put in emotions and feelings, you will find some help.

This is the link to Emotions Anonymous and some of their literature posted here on the site.

http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/show...ions+anonymous

[MajestyJo]

Thanks for the reminder.

The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety by Bill W.

http://silkworth.net/aahistory/emotionalsobriety.html

[bigsmitty]

Thanks for the info MJ. Any other suggested books along the lines of Sobriety and Beyond? Happy 2016, Greg

[MajestyJo]

Not at the moment, do you read the daily readings for the day. There is a lot about emotions and feelings in them. No matter what fellowship you belong to or not belong to, they carry a great message.

http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8054

[SoberDriver]

Here's a good link to what someone describes as "Emotional Intelligence."
https://www.quora.com/Emotional-Inte...l-intelligence

I used to hear at meetings that feelings were neither right or wrong, they just "were." Unfortunately where I got sober when someone would share a feeling they were having many people would try to convince them their feeling was the wrong one. All emotions are important but in my case when I came into AA "anger" was the most prevalent one. The "Big Book" says that "resentment is the number one offender, it destroys more alcoholics than anything else." That emotion in me was totally running amok. In the process of getting sober and then experiencing "emotional sobriety" I analyzed the things that contributed to more and more "emotional sobriety." Being more open minded and willing to take suggestions was fundamental. I certainly did not believe that the promises would come true for me when I came in. I was not willing to pray for my enemies when I came in. I was not willing to go to any length to the degree I am willing to today. I could not see how I was responsible for my own thinking, actions and happiness as well. I did not conceive of the principle of doing something "without the expectation of getting anything in return, even a thank you." Today I can laugh at the drop of a hat or cry at most sappy stuff. I like that about me. I like being fully alive. Yes life is hard and there are many hard things to deal with and sometimes it just plain hurts like hell. Alcohol was a way to "numb out" and supposedly forget about all those nasty feelings. It never worked. Those feelings were there whether drunk or sober. Any benefit that alcohol gave as being a social lubricant or a reveling tool has been gone a long time too. Today I know that "anger is the dubious luxury of normal men." I looked up that word "dubious." It means "doubtful." That means that even "normal men" probably cannot handle anger very well. Enjoy the journey, one day at a time...

[MajestyJo]

I found that I needed to go to meetings and connect with others in order to maintain my Emotional Sobriety. Sobriety means soundness of mind. This disease is mental, emotional, spiritual and physical and I had to apply the 12 Steps and my program to all areas of my dis-ease.

It took me a long time to allow myself to do tears. My first husband demanded that stop using them, because I used them as a weapon. I had to give myself permission to feel my feelings. I couldn't heal until I did. I had to feel them, recognize them for what they were, and then and only then could I heal. You can't change what you don't know. You can't know what you have never been taught. You can't heal if you stuff everything and it is important not to substitute other substance, it keeps you sick and still in your disease. Substitution doesn't work, it becomes your new drug of choice and will take you back to where you have two or more active addictions. That is what happened to me.

It is very much a day at a time for me. We do recover from that hopeless state of mind and body, but our disease is just waiting for us to give it an opening and it will slip in and our stinking thinking, can take us back to old behaviours, habits, and thoughts.

[SoberDriver]

It would be nice if all parents were "self-actualized" enough to be able to help their children with their emotions. With all the education we get at school growing up, certainly when I grew up in the 60's an 70's no emphasis was placed on "emotional education." I had a "old-timer" start to lecture me (uninvited advice) telling me what I "needed" to do and I simply asserted, "I don't need to do anything." The program worked for me in that all my experience in what I had been doing was enough to feel satisfied I was doing my part. I am especially grateful for sponsors who never lectured at me but would not "sugar coat" their advice either. I had one sponsor who when the inflection in his voice changed I knew I better pay attention. It was like the "burning bush" to me.