What Kind of Message Do You Carry?

[MajestyJo]

My sponsor told me that if I have recovery, it was my responsibility to show it. You may be the only Big Book someone may see. What kind of message are you carrying?

Posted on another site in 2012

[MajestyJo]

When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned.

Alcoholics Anonymous p. 100

Got this from As Bill Sees It* today and it is something that expresses how I have been feeling. There is nothing I can do, other than do the do things each day, put turn things over and leave them in His Hands.

I need to eat properly. I need to get my rest. I need to do my meditation and prayers. I need to meet my daily commitments both in my home and on the internet.

Many years ago, I put my life into God's Hands. I didn't know what my purpose was. I questioned my reason for being. The answer I got was, "Carry the message of recovery to those who still suffer."

So unless He changes His mind, I will be here!

* Never knew that the book was called "The AA Way of Life." It just goes to show how we can be so selective in our vision, hearing, and choices and are often unable to see the whole picture. Every time I open a book, I see something new. The news never becomes old!

[MajestyJo]

I very seldom read all the reading on the site other than the ones I post. I also have my own books, and unless I am hurting, I seldom go out looking for something to what I call "save my soul" and I realized how narrow minded I had been and how closed down I had been, and how much I had missed, a message that I was meant to read, passed me by, so hopefully, I got to see it elsewhere. I often see them repeated at my group.

That is the thing, if you shut out the bad, you shut out the good too. It isn't that the reading are bad, it is just that my time is limited, and because of my fatigue, I don't always have the energy to spend the time I want on the boards. Some days I am on three, but when I get carried away, there have been days I have been on the computer for 8 and that is too much. I am only suppose to be on the computer for 3 a day I think, but I tell myself it is 3 hours at one time. I was told that in 2001. It appears as though I don't listen well.

So some days, I am afraid it is "Do what I say, don't do what I am doing." Not very often, but once in a while, especially when I am in pain, to detach, I get out of self, and the sites and the postings, I find healing and helpful to me. When I am in too much pain to sleep, I figure if I can't sleep, I might as well as be doing something worthwhile, especially if I concentrate enough to read a book. The sites have been my lifeline. I am so grateful for them.

Posted in 2012

More true in today because my head can't hold it all. I often go back and rad something and will post on it. I have been lead back to things I have already read, because I need to peruse it again. Either there is more to learn or I didn't get the message, first time around.

[MajestyJo]

Well, I'd be the one who tells people over and over again--"You can have a different life" Because boy, oh BOY is that true!

I get to share my story--what it was like, what happened and what it's like now. And in that, I try desperately to bring hope.

And--being the rebel that I can still sometimes be (more frequently than wise person likes..LOL) I gotta tell ya, I don't 'expect' others to treat me 'fairly'--I expect very little....people are where they are. I expect ME to treat others in a kind and loving manner. Sometimes I even get that back!

Folks tell how I conduct myself inter-personally just "commands respect".
Maybe all that 11th step prayer work is working!
(don't tell wise person...LOL...I'd hate to say "YOU WERE RIGHT!" LOLOLOLOL)

~~~True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of G-d.~~~

This was in response to my original post and the following is my response to Graced.

Thanks for sharing my friend, I know what you mean. I can still be the rebel too, it is good to know I am not the only one.

I have to share my experience, strength, and hope at a Dual Recovery Anonymous Meeting on Friday afternoon. This will be a new experience for me, yet I know that I am but a channel and when I connect with God, He will do the telling not me if I get out of the way.

Often we are the last to see things about ourselves and we are the last to know. Sometimes it is denial, sometimes it is just not able to accept goodness and love into our lives. It all has to come from within me in order for me to give. I was told, you have to top yourself up and just give away the overflow.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn, many times I found myself running on empty. You can't go far on fumes.

[MajestyJo]

A nice reminder, what we put out we get back. It is even nicer to have someone affirm that you are alright. I get defeated sometimes, but I know if I keep to basics, everything will work out.

Was having a chuckle with my friend John tonight, we were talking about how several people can look at the same picture and get different messages. It doesn't make us right or wrong, it is our own reality, which often needs to be changed or up graded. I try to pray and ask my God for my truth and knowing in today, and if something seems off, then I have to look at what I am not doing or what am I doing wrong. My whole life since coming into recovery has been Tradition 3 & 5. When you aren't working, not in a relationship, and like me, not able to get out to meetings very often, then my life has been focused on service. The best way to get out of self is to help someone else. Even if I share and some people don't identify, it does help me and my recovery.

Posted in 2013



Today before dinner, when I was talking to my son and he was grumpy and I said, "I feel Grrrrr too! I went right up into his face and said, "Grrrrrr!" He said, "You are so funny Mom." It did me good to express my feelings, especially to do it in a humorous way.

[MajestyJo]

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Where do you find recovery? Twelve steps past any lengths.

Are we willing to go to any length to find peace and serenity?
Are we willing to go to any length to stay clean and sober?
Are we willing to work the Steps and travel the road to recovery?

When I came in, I was willing to do what was suggested. I was even willing to do what I was told, maybe not at first , but I came to realize, if I wanted to get well, the blueprint was there for me to follow.

I was willing to get a home group, get a sponsor and get involved in service. I would not have the recovery that I have today if I hadn't got involved in service. It was a vital part of my recovery and still is today.

When I couldn't find the willingness within myself, I had to pray for the willingness to be willing!

Going back to where I came from was not an option.

A friend who kept relapsing, whenever he had money, kept saying to me, "It is only suggestions, there are no have tos." I said, there are no have tos, but there are some darn well betters or you will go back out and use again.

I met him at a coffee shop, and he looked like the wrath of God and I told him so. I said, "You are going to have to "Sh*t" or get off the pot." Not many days later, he showed up at my place. He is general very well groomed, and he looked like he had been run over by a car. I said, "Oh, so you decided to sh*t eh!" Not very long ever that, he went away to treatment and the last time I saw him, he had 18 month of sobriety.

One of his favourite lines was, "I'm not as bad as him." He kept comparing and stayed sick. At the beginning of recovery, I did the same thing. It didn't matter what I used or where it took me, it was what it did to me when I picked it up. It changed me. I didn't want to continue changing in that direction.

One day at a time, I choose not to use. One day at a time, I choose to walk the 12 Steps of recovery.