NA Just For Today - February

[bluidkiti]

February 1
Hardships

" We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text p. 22

" But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program—not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of—or perhaps in response to—those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.

[bluidkiti]

February 2
Goodwill

" Goodwill is best exemplified in service; proper service is doing the right thing for the right reason."

Basic Text p. ix

The spiritual core of our disease is self-centeredness. In dealing with others, the only motive our addiction taught us was selfishness — we wanted what we wanted when we wanted it. Obsession with self was rooted in the very ground of our lives. In recovery, how do we root self-obsession out?

We reverse the effects of our disease by applying a few very simple spiritual principles. To counteract the self-centeredness of our addiction, we learn to apply the principle of goodwill. Rather than seeking to serve only ourselves, we begin serving others. Rather than thinking only about what we can get out of a situation, we learn to think first of the welfare of others. When faced with a moral choice, we learn to stop, recall spiritual principles, and act appropriately.

As we begin "doing the right thing for the right reason;" we can detect a change in ourselves. Where once we were ruled by self-will, now we are guided by our goodwill for others. The chronic self-centeredness of addiction is losing its hold on us. We are learning to "practice these principles in all our affairs"; we are living in our recovery, not in our disease.

Just for today: Wherever I am, whatever I do, I will seek to serve others, not just myself. When faced with a dilemma, I will try to do the right thing for the right reason.

[bluidkiti]

February 3
We Need Each Other

"Anyone may join us, regardless of age, race, sexual identity creed, religion, or lack of religion."
Basic Text p. 9

Addiction closed our minds to anything new or different. We didn't need anyone or anything, we thought. There was nothing of value to be found in anyone from a different neighborhood, a different racial or ethnic background, or a different social or economic class. We may have thought that if it was different, it was bad.

In recovery, we can't afford such attitudes. We came to NA because our very best thinking had gotten us nowhere. We must open our minds to experience that works, no matter where it comes from, if we hope to grow in our recovery.

Regardless of our personal backgrounds, we all have two things in common with one another in NA that we share with no one else: our disease, and our recovery. We depend on one another for our shared experience—and the broader that experience, the better. We need every bit of experience, every different angle on our program we can find to meet the many challenges of living clean.

Recovery often isn't easy. The strength we need to recover, we draw from our fellow NA members. Today, we are grateful for the diversity of our group's membership, for in that diversity we find our strength.

Just for today: I know that the more diverse my groups experience is, the better able my group will be to offer me support in the different circumstances I find myself facing. Today, I welcome addicts from all backgrounds to my home group.

[bluidkiti]

February 4
Feeling Good Isn't The Point

"For us, recovery is more than just pleasure."
Basic Text p. 42

In our active addiction, most of us knew exactly how we were going to feel from one day to the next. All we had to do was read the label on the bottle or know what was in the bag. We planned our feelings, and our goal for each day was to feel good.

In recovery, we're liable to feel anything from one day to the next, even from one minute to the next. We may feel energetic and happy in the morning, then strangely let down and sad in the afternoon. Because we no longer plan our feelings for the day each morning, we could end up having feelings that are somewhat inconvenient, like feeling tired in the morning and wide-awake at bedtime.

Of course, there's always the possibility we could feel good, but that isn't the point. Today, our main concern is not feeling good but learning to understand and deal with our feelings, no matter what they are. We do this by working the steps and sharing our feelings with others.

Just for today: I will accept my feelings, whatever they may be, just as they are. I will practice the program and learn to live with my feelings.

[bluidkiti]

February 5
Keep Coming Back!

"We are grateful that we were made so welcome at meetings that we felt comfortable."
Basic Text p. 80

Remember how scared we were when we walked into our first NA meeting? Even if we walked in with a friend, most of us recall how difficult it was to attend that first meeting. What was it that kept us coming back? Most of us have grateful memories of the welcome we were given and how comfortable that made us feel. When we raised our hand as a newcomer, we opened the door for other members to approach us and welcome us.

Sometimes the difference between those addicts who walk back out the door of their first meeting, never to return to NA, and the addicts who stay to seek recovery is the simple hug of an NA member. When we have been clean awhile, it's easy to step back from the procession of newcomers—after all, we've seen so many people come and go. But members with some clean time can make the difference between the addict who doesn't return and the addict who keeps coming back. By offering our phone numbers, a hug, or just a warm welcome, we extend the hand of Narcotics Anonymous to the addict who still suffers.

Just for today: I remember the welcome I was given when I first came to NA. Today, I will express my gratitude by offering a hug to a newcomer.

[bluidkiti]

February 6
I Can't - We Can

"We had convinced ourselves that we could make it alone and proceeded to live life on that basis. The results were disastrous and, in the end, each of us had to admit that self-sufficiency was a lie"

Basic Text p. 59

"I can't, but we can." This simple but profound truth applies initially to our first need as NA members: Together, we can stay clean, but when we isolate ourselves, we're in bad company. To recover, we need the support of other addicts.

Self-sufficiency impedes more than just our ability to stay clean. With or without drugs, living on self-will inevitably leads to disaster. We depend on other people for everything from goods and services to love and companionship, yet self-will puts us in constant conflict with those very people. To live a fulfilling life, we need harmony with others.

Other addicts and others in our communities are not the only ones we depend on. Power is not a human attribute, yet we need power to live. We find it in a Power greater than ourselves which provides the guidance and strength we lack on our own. When we pretend to be self-sufficient, we isolate ourselves from the one source of power sufficient to effectively guide us through life: our Higher Power.

Self-sufficiency doesn't work. We need other addicts; we need other people; and, to live fully, we need a Power greater than our own.

Just for today: I will seek the support of other recovering addicts, harmony with others in my community, and the care of my Higher Power. I can't, but we can.

[bluidkiti]

February 7
This Is Not A Test

"We have found a loving, personal God to whom we can turn."
Basic Text p. 27

Some of us come into recovery with the impression that life's hardships are a series of cosmic tests designed to teach us something. This belief is readily apparent when something traumatic happens and we wail, "My Higher Power is testing me!" We're convinced that it's a test of our recovery when someone offers us drugs, or a test of our character when faced with a situation where we could do something unprincipled without getting caught. We may even think it's a test of our faith when we're in great pain over a tragedy in our lives.

But a loving Higher Power doesn't test our recovery, our character, or our faith. Life just happens, and sometimes it hurts. Many of us have lost love through no fault of our own. Some of us have lost all of our material wealth. A few of us have even grieved the loss of our own children. Life can be terribly painful at times, but the pain is not inflicted on us by our Higher Power. Rather, that Power is constantly by our sides, ready to carry us if we can't walk by ourselves. There is no harm that life can do us that the God of our understanding can't heal.

Just for today: I will have faith that my Higher Power's will for me is good, and that I am loved. I will seek my Higher Power's help in times of need.

[bluidkiti]

February 8

What Is A Sponsor?

"…an NA sponsor is a member of Narcotics Anonymous, living our program of
recovery, who is willing to build a special, supportive, one-on-one relationship
with us."

IP No. 11, "Sponsorship, Revised"

What is a sponsor? You know: That nice person with whom you had coffee after
your first meeting. That generous soul who keeps sharing recovery experience
free of charge. The one who keeps amazing you with stunning insight regarding
your character defects. The one who keeps reminding you to finish your Fourth
Step, who listens to your Fifth Step, and who doesn't tell anyone how weird you
are.

It's pretty easy to start taking all this stuff for granted once we're used to
someone being there for us. We may run wild for a while and tell ourselves,
"I'll call my sponsor later, but right now I have to clean the house, go
shopping, chase that attractive." And so we end up in trouble, wondering where
we went wrong.

Our sponsor can't read minds. It's up to us to reach out and ask for help.
Whether we need help with our steps, a reality check to help us straighten out
our screwy thinking, or just a friend, it's our job to make the request.
Sponsors are warm, wise, wonderful people, and their experience with recovery is
ours — all we have to do is ask.

Just for today: I'm grateful for the time, the love, and the experience my
sponsor has shared with me. Today, I will call my sponsor.

[bluidkiti]

February 9

Self-acceptance

"When we accept ourselves, we can accept others into our lives, unconditionally
probably for the first time."

IP No. 19, "Self-Acceptance"

>From our earliest memories, many of us felt like we never belonged. No matter
how big the gathering, we always felt apart from the crowd. We had a hard time
"fitting in." Deep down, we believed that if we really let others get to know
us, they would reject us. Perhaps our addiction began to germinate in this
climate of self-centeredness.

Many of us hid the pain of our alienation with an attitude of defiance. In
effect, we told the world, "You don't need me? Well, I don't need any of you,
either. I've got my drugs and I can take care of myself!" The further our
addiction progressed, the higher the walls we built around ourselves.

Those walls begin to fall when we start finding acceptance from other recovering
addicts. With this acceptance from others, we begin to learn the important
principle of self-acceptance. And when we start to accept ourselves, we can
allow others to take part in our lives without fear of rejection.

Just for today: I am accepted in NA; I fit in. Today, it's safe to start letting
others into my life.

[bluidkiti]

February 10
Fun!

"In recovery our ideas of fun change"

Basic Text, p. 102

In retrospect, many of us realize that when we used, our ideas of fun were rather bizarre. Some of us would get dressed up and head for the local club. We would dance, drink and do other drugs until the sun rose. On more than one occasion, gun battles broke out. What we then called fun, we now call insanity.

Today, our notion of fun has changed. Fun to us today is a walk along the ocean, watching the dolphins frolic as the sun sets behind them. Fun is going to an NA picnic, or attending the comedy show at an NA convention. Fun is getting dressed up to go to the banquet and not worrying about any gun battles breaking out over who did what to whom.

Through the grace of a Higher Power and the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, our ideas of fun have changed radically. Today when we are up to see the sun rise, it's usually because we went to bed early the night before, not because we left a club at six in the morning, eyes bleary from a night of drug use. And if that's all we have received from Narcotics Anonymous, that would be enough.

Just for today: I will have fun in my recovery!

[bluidkiti]

February 11
A Curse Into A Blessing

"We have become very grateful in the course of our recovery.... We have a disease, but we do recover" Basic Text, p. 8

Active addiction was no picnic; many of us barely came out of it alive. But ranting against the disease, lamenting what it has done to us, pitying ourselves for the condition it has left us in—these things can only keep us locked in the spirit of bitterness and resentment. The path to freedom and spiritual growth begins where bitterness ends, with acceptance.

There is no denying the suffering brought by addiction. Yet it was this disease that brought us to Narcotics Anonymous; without it, we would neither have sought nor found the blessing of recovery. In isolating us, it forced us to seek fellowship. In causing us to suffer, it gave us the experience needed to help others, help no one else was so uniquely suited to offer. In forcing us to our knees, addiction gave us the opportunity to surrender to the care of a loving Higher Power.

We would not wish the disease of addiction on anyone. But the fact remains that we addicts already have this disease— and further, that without this disease we may never have embarked on our spiritual journey. Thousands of people search their whole lives for what we have found in Narcotics Anonymous: fellowship, a sense of purpose, and conscious contact with a Higher Power. Today, we are grateful for everything that has brought us this blessing.

Just for today: I will accept the fact of my disease, and pursue the blessing of my recovery.

[bluidkiti]

February 12
Living In The Moment
"We regretted the past, dreaded the future, and weren't too thrilled about the present." Basic Text, p. 7

Until we experience the healing that happens when we work the Twelve Steps, it is doubtful that we can find a statement more true than the quote above. Most of us come to NA hanging our heads in shame, thinking about the past and wishing we could go back and change it. Our fantasies and expectations about the future may be so extreme that, on our first date with someone, we find ourselves wondering which lawyer we'll use for the divorce. Almost every experience causes us to remember something from the past or begin projecting into the future.

At first, it's difficult to stay in the moment. It seems as though our minds won't stop. We have a hard time just enjoying ourselves. Each time we realize that our thoughts are not focused on what's happening right now, we can pray and ask a loving God to help us get out of ourselves. If we regret the past, we make amends by living differently today; if we dread the future, we work on living responsibly today.

When we work the steps and pray each time we discover we're not living in the present, we'll notice that those times aren't occurring as often as they used to. Our faith will help us live just for today. We'll have hours, even days, when our full attention is focused on the current moment in time, not the regrettable past or fearful future.

Just for today: When I live fully in each moment, I open myself to joys that might otherwise escape me. If I am having trouble, I will ask a loving God for help.

[bluidkiti]

February 13
The Ties That Bind

"As long as the ties that bind us together are stronger than those that would tear us apart, all will be well."
Basic Text, p. 57

Many of us feel that without NA we would surely have died from our disease. Hence, its existence is our very lifeline. However, disunity is an occasional fact of life in Narcotics Anonymous; we must learn to respond in a constructive way to the destructive influences that sometimes arise in our fellowship. If we decide to be part of the solution instead of the problem, we are headed in the right direction.

Our personal recovery and the growth of NA is contingent upon maintaining an atmosphere of recovery in our meetings. Are we willing to help our group deal constructively with conflict? As group members, do we strive to work out difficulties openly, honestly, and fairly? Do we seek to promote the common welfare of all our members rather than our own agenda? And, as trusted servants, do we take into consideration the effect our actions might have on newcomers?

Service can bring out both the best and the worst in us. But it is often through service that we begin to get in touch with some of our more pressing defects of character Do we shrink from service commitments rather than face what we might find out about ourselves? If we bear in mind the strength of the ties that bind us together—our recovery from active addiction—all will be well.

Just for today: I will strive to be of service to our fellowship. I will be unafraid to discover who I am.

[bluidkiti]

February 14
Honesty And Spirituality

"The right to a God of your understanding is total and without any catches. Because we have this right, it is necessary to be honest about our belief if we are to grow spiritually"

Basic Text, p. 25

In meetings, over refreshments, in talks with our sponsor, we hear our NA friends talking about the way they understand their Higher Power. It would be easy to "go with the flow;" adopting someone else's beliefs. But just as no one else can recover for us, so no one else's spirituality can substitute for our own. We must honestly search for an understanding of God that truly works for us.

Many of us begin that search with prayer and meditation, and continue with our experiences in recovery. Have there been instances where we have been given power beyond our own to face life's challenges? When we have quietly sought direction in times of trouble, have we found it? What kind of Power do we believe has guided and strengthened us? What kind of Power do we seek? With the answers to these questions, we will understand our Higher Power well enough to feel safe and confident about asking it to care for our will and lives.

A borrowed understanding of God may do on a short haul. But in the long run, we must come to our own understanding of a Higher Power, for it is that Power which will carry us through our recovery.

Just for today: I seek a Power greater than myself that can help me grow spiritually. Today, I will examine my beliefs honestly and come to my own understanding of God.

[bluidkiti]

February 15
An Awakening Of The Spirit

"The last thing we expected was an awakening of the spirit"

Basic Text, p. 48

Few of us came to our first Narcotics Anonymous meeting aching to take a personal inventory or believing that a spiritual void existed in our souls. We had no inkling that we were about to embark on a journey which would awaken our sleeping spirits.

Like a loud alarm clock, the First Step brings us to semiconsciousness—although at this point, we may not be sure whether we want to climb out of bed or maybe sleep for just five more minutes. The gentle hand shaking our shoulders as we apply the Second and Third Steps causes us to stand up, stretch, and yawn. We need to wipe the sleep from our eyes to write the Fourth Step and share our Fifth. But as we work the Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, and Ninth Steps, we begin noticing a spring in our step and the start of a smile on our lips. Our spirits sing in the shower as we take the Tenth and Eleventh Steps. And then we practice the Twelfth, leaving the house in search of others to awaken.

We don't have to spend the rest of our lives in a spiritual coma. We may not like to get up in the morning but, once out of bed, we're almost always glad we did.

Just for today: To awaken my sleepy spirit, I will use the Twelve Steps.