Addiction to Busy/Work

[MajestyJo]

Was a workaholic for most of my life, always had to fill up my space with busy and other people so I had no time to deal with my issues. It helped me to look out and not go within.

In other words, no substitutions, no bargaining, no victimization and going into the poor mes, no role playing, accept the fact that I have a problem and ask my God to change the thinking that goes along with the using.

"The passion for setting people right is in itself an afflictive disease.

Women who do too much often think that it is our job to set others right. After much gathering of information and acquisition of knowledge, we really have come to believe that we can and do know what is best for other people. Since we know what is best, we have no difficulty sharing this important information with any who will-or sometimes even will not-listen. Some of us even get paid for knowing what is best for others and setting them straight.

Ugh, it doesn't look so good on paper, does it?

Perhaps today would be a good day to look at my arrogance. Benevolent arrogance is still arrogance.

- Original Source Unknown to me.

My way doesn't necessarily mean it is the right way for someone else. My way is certainly not the only way, a big spiritual awareness for me.

Who am I to try to manage other peoples life when my own life is unmanageable, especially when managed by me.

When I think of all the jobs I had, starting as a file clerk, receptionist, assistant accountant: accounts payable, accounts receivable, purchasing, payroll, collection of accounts, inventory, export documentation, secretary, and office manager. I told myself I had a willingness to learn, with no thought of the fact that I had to fill up that space, so I didn't think about my life and what was around me. I had trouble leaving work and not bringing it home. Many hours of over time, doing jobs for others, when a department was short, I was called in to fill the space, plus do my own work as well. I got to where I thought I knew everything, and I used work to find my self-worth and approval, because I couldn't find it within myself.

[MajestyJo]

There is no advantage, and yet we do it. Not always consciously, and yet how many times have we told ourselves that we were just FINE!

Arrogance generally comes when you don't want to hear and not open to learning and growing. The old adage, "Well, I'm an alcoholic/addict, what do you expect?" My answer is always, "I expect you to work the step, grow and change." Other will say, well I have been doing this for 20 odd years and I am not about to change now! Why not? Is it still working for you in today. Just because I learned something in early recovery, doesn't mean it doesn't need to be changed to meet situations in today.

Recovery is about change. Yet it isn't my job to tell someone else what to do. All I can do is share my own experience, strength and hope. For the most part, there isn't a room of recovery that I don't qualify for. 12 Steps are 12 Steps. The only one I technically don't qualify for is for Pot. Tried it once, was so sick, was on all fours with my head in the john and had to let my husband drive home even though he was drunk. I normally didn't let him drive my car if he had more than 3 beers. It was okay for me to drive not him. It didn't matter than I had matched him drink for drink, he was drunk I was not. It was my arrogance that saw myself as sober because I could walk and drive a straight line and he could not.

Found myself so busy comparing myself to others instead of identifying. I didn't do that, I wasn't like that, I am not as bad as they are, mean while I stayed sick and was one very sick soul.

Being busy can be good, when I wasn't busy, I was using and living in a vacuum, with no desires, motivations or intentions. Yet even with the busy of today in recovery, I need to keep balance and recognize when I am replacing busy, to not look at my issues of the moment. Another blanket of denial that I can put on, to not face reality.