Today's Thought - May

[bluidkiti]

May 1

A man is what he thinks about all day long.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is true for women too. We sure learned that about our disease as well. It kept us thinking about alcohol or drugs all day every day until we could think of little else. Finally we became addicts, gobbled up by our all-consuming thoughts and cravings.

Now in recovery, we can be something else. We are becoming free of our addiction, and our minds can think about other things. What do we want to think about? What do we want to be?

It's easy to let the noise around us tell us what to think about. At the end of the day, we can end up feeling out of touch with who we are. We've been giving our minds to whatever is on the radio, television, or the gossip grapevine at work or school. That's why it's good to spend part of each day thinking about things we truly think are important and worthwhile.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me understand that what I do with my mind and my time is important. What I do with my mind is my inner life. What I do with my time is my outer life. Together they define who I am.

Today's Action

I will think about the way I use my mind and my time today. What feels good and fits for me? Is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow?

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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May 2

The gifts we receive are meant to be shared.

Thanks to the progress I am making in recovery, I like to think I am more loving, more open, more spontaneous, more confident. I believe these gifts have come to me through my Higher Power, the Twelve Steps, and the friends who have helped me grow.

If I am to keep the gifts, I must share them. They are mine as long as I give them away. To do that I need to realize we're all working toward a similar goal: that of developing our potential and becoming who we are meant to be. We help each other toward this goal by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.

Close, warm, loving contacts with my family and friends are what feed my heart and spirit and fill the inner emptiness. When I am willing to share the gifts I have received, I always have enough, because what I give comes back to me.

I will take advantage of today's opportunities for caring and sharing, remembering that my recovery depends not on what I have but on what I give.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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May 3

We can practice forgiveness each day.

Resentments have a way of creeping back into my psyche even after I have let go of them. I know that holding a grudge is harmful to my emotional health and can threaten my abstinence, but what can I do when I keep feeling anger toward someone?

In the interest of recovery, in my own best interest, I can continue to forgive each day. I may not be able to forgive the person once and for all, but I can do it right now, just for today. With practice, who knows? Perhaps the resentment will disappear.

When I remember that my own track record is far from perfect, I realize I could use some daily forgiveness too, both from others and from myself.

Just for now, I can let go of resentments and forgive. If resentments come back, I can forgive again.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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May 4

I hope I shall follow firmness of virtue enough to maintain that I consider the most enviable of all titles - the character of an honest man.
--George Washington

Happiness in recovery and in society depends on our honesty. We create pain for others, and ourselves, when we are dishonest. True honesty begins within each of us and flows out to touch those around us. If we are to be true to society, and to ourselves, we cannot feel one thing in our hearts and outwardly speak different views.

There is no such thing as too much honesty. When we practice honesty in all our affairs, we discover that the reason for being honest is not because it is expected of us, but because we find that honesty avoids problems and makes our life happier.

When I am honest with myself and others, I am making progress toward greatness of character.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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May 5

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.
--Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Newcomer

I signed up to take a course in something I'm kind of interested in. I'm pretty anxious about it. I don't have the skills and experience that the other students have. I don't know if I can keep up with the work and still go to enough meetings. And even if I get through it, I doubt that I can afford to go further.

Sponsor

First, let me congratulate you for the courage and self-esteem it took for you to begin something new in recovery. Recovery is not an end in itself; as we frequently hear in meetings, it's a bridge back to life. Education is a path that beckons many recovering people. Taking just one step, like signing up for a course, furthers you on your journey.

At the same time, you'll want to take care to protect your recovery as you engage in new pursuits. Staying close to the program by going to regular and frequent meetings is still the top priority for anyone who doesn't want to relapse. The work we do to maintain our recovery is what makes everything else possible.

As for your doubts and fears, it's natural for them to come up. Instead of giving them too much attention, you can use this opportunity to calm and center yourself with meditation and to ask in prayer for help and courage in carrying out your Higher Power's will for you.

Today, I take a small step forward on my journey, without judging myself or my rate of progress.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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May 6

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
--Joseph Addison

Having someone to bestow our love on - a child, friend, or lover, perhaps a pet - will provide us with a time each day for intimacy, a time for sharing affection, a time, which assures us our presence is counted on.

But having someone to love is not all we need for happiness. We must have dreams for the future, reasons for getting out of bed in the present, and the well-earned glow that accompanies past achievements. Dreams lose their glamour if that's all we have. If the reasons for rising don't excite us any longer, or the achievements ring hollow, we'll not come to know the happiness for which we've been created.

Happiness is our birthright so long as we live fully and love truly.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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May 7

A man takes a drink, the drink takes another, and the drink takes the man.
-- Proverb

Newcomer

I've heard Alcoholics Anonymous members say, "It's the first drink that gets you drunk," and Overeaters Anonymous members say, "Don't take that first compulsive bite." It seems a little extreme. Don't Twelve Step programs allow for the possibility of doing things in moderation?

Sponsor

There are numerous stories of addicted people who started with the idea that they'd have "just one" of whatever it was. Hours, days, or weeks later, they were still in the middle of a binge. Most of us, when we were active in our addictions, promised ourselves repeatedly that we'd be moderate, though we'd already accumulated plenty of evidence that we lacked the desire and the capacity for moderation. Once we started using, no matter how seemingly insignificant the beginning, we were under the control of our addiction. We experienced a craving that no quantity of a drug or repetition of an addictive behavior could satisfy.

There are people who can do in moderation what people filling the seats at meetings couldn't stop doing, once they started. But we are not those people.

Today, I'm strengthened by accepting my need to take special measures to protect my health and recovery.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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May 8

"Depressions are transition times for me," an older fellow stated. "I look at my lows as a preparation period, an inner time to grow and change even though I'm not consciously aware of what's going on inside me. But I didn't always think this way.

"I used to get terrified when I got into one of those low periods. Every time I did, I questioned everything I ever believed in. I doubted myself and my abilities, my opinions and values, my friends and my boss. Nothing escaped my painful questioning. I thought for sure I was going insane. The pain was so unbearable I wanted to drink, work harder, anything, to distract me from my anguish.

"Now when I get low, I take it more in stride. I think of my depression as part of a natural cycle. Just as nature has its fall, winter, and spring, I, too, have a period of shedding old growth for new growth. I just endure my grey days knowing the sun will shine again just as the trees will bloom after winter. As part of the natural world around me, I, too, have my seasons of joy and sorrow."

Today I will remember that my lows are as natural as my highs. I will not become overwhelmed and exaggerate the significance of my depressions. I will endure patiently, knowing that whatever faces me will pass in time.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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May 9

Treat your friends as you would a bank account - refrain from drawing too heavily on either.
--Samuel Johnson

"You know," somebody admitted, "I've never really allowed myself to have good friends.

"I always put myself in two extreme roles. Either I think it's my duty to 'save' everyone, or I think it's someone else's function to 'save' me. I set myself up for very dissatisfactory relationships that way. I don't grow very much nor do the people I'm involved with grow much. We get locked into Parent-Child, Teacher-Student, and Counselor-Client kinds of roles.

"I'm tired of empty and lopsided friendships. I want good friends, not parasites or Messiahs running my life. I want friends I can just be me with and not worry whether I'm one-up or one-down on them. I want friends who will accept me as I am and not expect me to have all the answers for all the questions all the time."

TODAY I will examine what I expect of myself and my friendships. As a friend, do I expect myself to give all the advice and have all the answers? Do I expect my friends to take care of me, and give me all the answers? If my friendships are not satisfactory, I will work on enlarging my concept of what a friend is. I will also work on improving the quality of my own friendship.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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May 10

We.
-- First word of the Twelve Steps

We. This little word says a lot about the Twelve Steps. Our addiction made us lonely. The "we" of the program makes us whole again. It makes us a member of a loving, growing group of people.

Our addiction isolated us from others. We couldn't be honest. We felt a lot of shame. But all this is in the past. The "we" of the program helps us live outside ourselves. Now we tell each other about our pasts. We comfort each other. We try to help each other.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to join the we of the program. Help me to admit and accept my illness, so the healing can begin.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll work to make the we of the program even stronger. I'll find someone to help.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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May 11

There's too much confusion here, I can't get no relief.
--Bob Dylan

Addiction is like the maze in a carnival fun house - no matter, which way we turn; we seem to run into blank walls. We used to run from our problems. We didn't take the time to reason things through and look for solutions. We escaped and hoped our problems would take care of themselves. They didn't.

What can we do when we are lost in the maze of our own pain? Ask for help.

If the first person we ask doesn't hear us, we need to keep asking. We then need to take the next step, which is to accept the help we're given.

Holding the hand of another human being is the way out of our maze.

Today let me not be too proud to reach out when I'm hurting.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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May 12

Success is just a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
--Edmund Wilson

Jim worked very hard all day cleaning cars in a drive-through car wash. He used to have a better job, but he wanted to start a new life so he took what he could get until something better came along. When he got paid, he showed his unemployed brother the check and the brother said, "God, I wish I were you - I'm flat busted! You're so lucky you got some money!"

Often when we're feeling sorry for ourselves, it's because we aren't willing to change the things we can. Jim didn't get money because he was lucky - he got it because he changed himself. He changed his attitude from "working in a car wash is degrading" to "I'm proud to take responsibility for myself."

Today, let me change the things I can and turn self-pity into self-determination.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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May 13

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
--Dorothy Canfield Fisher

A strong, healthy tree is one which is free to grow straight and tall. A weak tree often must lean against another for support. It is not that different with people. We are not healthy and strong when we must always lean on another to support us.

This doesn't mean it isn't healthy to accept help. But the best help we can get or give is that which enables us to do things without it. Sometimes we think we lose a relationship when others don't need our help, or when we don't need theirs all the time. The reverse is true. Only when we are each strong enough to stand on our own can we really share the kind of help, which allows both the helped and the helper to be independent.

Have I been giving the right kind of help?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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May 14

Nature is the Art of God.
--Sir Thomas Browne

The most relaxing activities may be the ones in which we do absolutely nothing. And if we can do nothing amid the sounds of nature - birds chirping, water bubbling in a brook, the wind rustling in the trees - so much the better. During these moments, away from the noise and chaos of our fast-paced, stress-filled lives, we commune most directly with nature and our Higher Power. Without distraction, our bodies can totally relax; there is no danger, no need to be ready to respond to anything. All we have to do is be.

If we live in the city, we can take refuge in its parks, a quiet room, or the library. We can listen to the sounds of nature on records or cassette tapes. The point is to slow down, to smell and taste the rain, to hear the chirping of crickets and the rustling of leaves and our own thoughts. When we remember nature, we remember - our bodies remember - that we are a part of nature, part of something greater than ourselves.

Today help me hear the sounds of nature and let them comfort and heal me.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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May 15

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
--Henry David Thoreau

Recently a filmmaker friend approached me with good news. He had just received a grant to do a documentary. "I can't believe it," he said. "I'm finally getting paid for my work. I can't believe how lucky I am to be doing this."

After our conversation, I thought: "This person believes that he is earning a living in spite of doing what he loves; but the reality is just the opposite. It is because he is following his passion that he prospers. As he aligns himself with his higher purpose, the Universe cannot help but make straight, smooth, and perfect his way."

People who say, "Be practical," don't realize that following your heart is the most practical thing one can do. There is no greater way to ensure success than being true to who you are. On the other hand, there is nothing more likely to block that success than turning away from your calling. Living at cross-purposes with your true nature creates struggle and lack of fulfillment at a deep level. It is hard to be someone other than yourself.

The lesson is clear: As impractical as it may sound, the safest and most secure way to lead your life is to follow your dream.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch