Today's Thought - September

[bluidkiti]

September 1

The body repeats the landscape. They are the source of each other and create each other.
--Meridel Le Sueur

The beautiful correspondences that structure the world - from the five pointed star in the core of the apple to the snail shell spiral of our inner ear - can be a source of great comfort to us. When we feel most alone, most abandoned and out of sorts, the simple forms of beauty can remind our eyes of the world's unity and our place within it.

Our path through the world is a part of it. We add our individual voices to the chord that is language, that is history. No matter how desperate we may feel, or how hopeless our lives may seem at times, the fact remains that loss and sorrow are a part of life, and the law of life is change. Unless we choose to cling to sorrow, it will flow through us. The next wave of feeling may bring us joy.

The hexagonal cells of the honeycomb recall the shapes of insects' eyes, snowflakes, geodesic domes. We fit into this grand design. We're here for a reason - for many reasons. Let us treat ourselves as gently as we try to treat the other parts of the delicate web of life.

I stand in a reciprocal relationship with the world, part of it as it is part of me.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

[bluidkiti]

September 2

Gratitude

Sometimes in life, things happen too fast. We barely solve one problem when two new problems surface. We're feeling great in the morning, but we're submerged in misery by nightfall.

Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges. We face personality conflicts and disappointments. Often when we're feeling overwhelmed, we can't see the lessons in these experiences.

One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude. We learn to say thank you for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway.

Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.

Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

September 3

Happiness is a by product of an effort to make someone else happy.
--Gretta Brooker Palmer

Self-centeredness aggravates the natural flow of circumstances surrounding us; too much attention on ourselves distorts whatever might be troubling us. However, focusing on others' needs diminishes what we'd perceived as our own pressing need. This is a simple principle we might all consider adopting.

None of us is free of problems. That's one of life's givens. Through their resolution we grow and ready ourselves for the next group of challenges. Each group we survive enables us to offer better assistance to someone else who will confront a similar problem. Perhaps we'd do well to see all our problems as preparation for guiding someone who will come into our life. Helping someone else is certain to lift spirits and foster happiness, but the unexpected reward is that the helper reaps even greater benefits than the one helped.

My happiness is guaranteed if I help someone else find it today.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

[bluidkiti]

September 4

Because I have been athirst I will dig a well that others may drink.
--Arabian proverb

Most of us do as we please. When we want to go we go; when we want to stay, we stay. We're accustomed to moving around freely and never even think about it. We trust that a door will open if we turn the knob and push. Unfortunately, we never appreciate what we take for granted, and we are less for that.

A young man at an meeting shared that he had just been released from prison. Upon release, the first thing he had done, he said, was to walk back and forth across the pressure plate of the bus station door. He wanted to be the one to make a door open and close. Onlookers had laughed at him, he said, but he didn't care. He appreciated the chance to move, to go where he wanted. Having known the hell of doors that won't open, he had an awareness that the rest of us didn't have. As his recovery continues, he will have much to share with people who've been trapped in prisons of their own.

May I have the insight to recognize my own special qualifications, and the willingness to share them with others.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

[bluidkiti]

September 5

There is no happiness; there are only moments of happiness.
-- Spanish proverb

How happy we are right now may hinge on dinnertime - whether it is just before or just after. It may also depend on whether we are examining ourselves to see if we are happy or not. There's nothing like a little introspection to convince us of the futility of life. Just asking the question, "Am I happy?" is enough to put us into a blue mood.

Moments of happiness, like creative thoughts, pass before us all the time. If we want to enjoy them, it's up to us to reach out and take them when they appear. The opportunities are boundless, and they all come dressed up like other people. No one has ever been happy for long in isolation. We are not, by nature, solitary creatures. God gave us people to be with. And as an incentive to be kind to one another, God made each of us a source of happiness for others.

If there's anybody around, I won't have to look far for happiness today.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

September 6

To Love an Addict

When I held my baby in my arms for the very first time, I rubbed my cheek on his fuzzy head and whispered, "I will love and protect you for as long as I live." I didn't know then that my baby would become an addict before becoming an adult, or that the addict taking his place would shred the meaning of those words to smithereens.

Slowly, at first, came the arrests and overdoses and big fat lies. My sweet child was turning into a stranger, manipulating me, using me, and twisting my love into knots. I was befuddled by this scary new world that I didn’t even know I was in and that I knew nothing about. I thought I was just a regular mom stumbling through regular parenthood, but then I had to figure out how to be the mom of an addict. I had to figure out how to love my child without helping to hurt him, how to grieve the loss of my child—who's still alive—without dying, and how to trade shame and blame for strength.

To be the parent of an addict is to be an ambassador of truth and understanding. No more shame. No more silence.

To love an addict is to run out of tears.

.

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

[bluidkiti]

September 7

Reflection for the Day

One of the most constructive things I can do is to learn to listen to myself and get in touch with my true feelings. For years, I tuned myself out, going along, instead, with what others felt and said. Even today, it sometimes seems that they have it all together, while I'm still stumbling about. Thankfully, I'm beginning to understand that people-pleasing takes many forms. Slowly but steadily, I've also begun to realize that it's possible for me to change my old patterns. Will I encourage myself to tune in to the real me? Will I listen carefully to my own inner voice with the expectation that I'll hear some wonderful things?

Today I Pray

I pray that I may respect myself enough to listen to my real feelings, those emotions which for so long I refused to hear or name or own, which festered in me like a poison. May I know that I need to stop often, look at my feelings, and listen to the inner me.

Today I Will Remember

I will own my feelings.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

September 8

How important is it?

The young man in the meeting was very angry and upset. His lawnmower had broken down. He was having a cookout in his back yard that evening, the yard "looked terrible," and he'd paid a lot of money for that mower! After he went on for some time, an older woman gently interrupted him and asked, “Was anyone hurt? Was there danger? Would your guests walk out?” And finally, “Did you lose your sobriety over it?” The young man smiled, as he answered “no” to all the questions. “No, it was not that important after all.”

We all overreact sometimes to situations, people, and events that, later, we see were really not important. The next time we are bothered by someone or something that threatens to ruin our day, we will try to remember to ask ourselves. “How important is it?” If it’s not important, we’ll spend our time and energy on what is important. There is a world of difference.

Today help me to know what is important, to forget what’s not, and ask others for perspective when I‘m not sure.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

September 9

Letting Go of the Silence

Addiction's best friends are shame and silence--without them, addiction couldn't survive. They play together so nicely, hanging out deep in the shadows. A tight-knit gang of bullies, they've been left to rule through intimidation for too long. Addiction, shame, and silence--this trio with power.

Many times, out of fear, I've kept addiction's secrets--fear of blame, fear of my failures being exposed, fear of embarrassment and disgrace. But now I see that was stupid; my silence and shame only help The Addict to succeed at killing my son. So, I will no longer be silent. Or ashamed.

The best gift I can give The Addict is to keep quiet--to keep addiction hidden away in the dark. But the best gift I can give my child is to talk about addiction. To bring addiction out into the light, to foster understanding and change. To change the way people look at my son. To change the way they interact with and treat him.

Maybe letting go with love means letting go of the silence.

Stigma's power lies in silence. The silence that persists when discussion and action should be taking place.

M. B. Dallocchio

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

[bluidkiti]

September 10

Real love pours itself out upon the object of its affection, without demanding any return.
--Florence Scovel Shinn

Loving another wholly, purely, with no strings attached promises ecstasy, and yet seldom do we dare chance it. Often we want the promise of love in return if we're to offer it. Our fragile egos are held tentatively intact by the slim gestures and fleeting words of love tossed our way. But when we bargain for love, we don't find it.

Real love will forever elude us unless we put our own selves aside and unabashedly love the self of someone else.

Freely spreading the warm glow of love to others magically invites its return - another of life's mysteries.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

September 11

Keeping my mind active through good, intellectual discussions is important to me. Talking over golf scores doesn't take us very far.
--Louise Jerome

Small talk is what engages us much of the time. There's nothing shameful about that. Many of the individuals we're in the company of are strangers to us. Inconsequential discussions seem safer then. Yet, keeping our minds active through thoughtful discussions about the world expands our knowledge and awareness. This exercises our minds in important ways. Just as muscles atrophy when unused, so do minds.

Many people shy away from in-depth discussions. Maybe we frequently do that, too. Oftentimes it's because we feel inadequate to others. Maybe we assume they are better educated. Fears of inadequacy are familiar to most of us. Will we ever learn that we are and always have been all that we've needed to be?

One of the good things about growing older, for some of us at least, is that we realize most worries don't materialize; most situations aren't as serious as we anticipated, and most people are more approachable than they first appear to be. Taking risks to share our thoughts gets easier the more we practice it. Let's not shy away from this today.

I'll dare to share my opinions today. A good discussion can energize me.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

September 12

Reflection for the Day

Even with a growing understanding of The Program and its Twelve Steps, we sometimes might find it difficult to believe that our new way of life leads to personal freedom. Suppose, for example, I feel imprisoned in an uncomfortable job or troublesome personal relationship. What am I doing about it? In the past, my reflex reaction was to try to manipulate the things and people around me into being more acceptable to me. Today, I realize that happiness can't be won that way.

Am I learning that freedom from despair and frustration can come only from changing, in myself, the attitudes that are perpetuating the conditions that cause me grief?

Today I Pray

May I be given clear eyes to see and then to stop myself when I am manipulating the lives of those around me, my daily associates, friends, and family. May I always be aware that change must begin within myself.

Today I will remember

Change from the inside out.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

September 13

I Did Not Cause It

I did not cause my child to become an addict. As a parent, I don't possess that power.

When my children were little, I imagined I had all kinds of power. I could decide when it was time for their nap--but they might play in their cribs instead of sleeping. I could serve up a healthy dinner--but if they didn't want to eat the small mound of lima beans on their plates, They Did Not! I could teach my children right from wrong and good from bad, but my word alone often wasn't enough, and they experimented to see how those rights and wrongs worked. It soon became clear that while I could be their guide, my children were going to be who they were meant to be. My real power as a mother was simply to love them. (And to annoy them and make them mad.) As a parent, I was perceived to be too nosey, too clingy, and, on occasion, not clingy enough. I hurt my children's feelings. I made them feel angry, sad, unheard, and misunderstood. At times I hovered like a helicopter mom--at other moments I might have flown too far away.

I am an imperfect mom. But imperfect parenting does not cause children to become addicts.

If that were so, every child would grow up to be an addict.

Too many people are spoiling their existence carrying needless guilt and shame.

Anonymous

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

[bluidkiti]

September 14

History books begin and end, but the events they describe do not.
--R. G. Collingwood

Each day we turn a new page in our recovery, and we grow more settled in our new life. As we learn to live in the present, neither fearing the future not feeling shame about the past, we discover new pleasures in simply living. We don’t have to hide our fear any more, we don’t have to suppress grief or shame or anger. We don’t have to keep our real selves secret behind a veil of chemicals.

But we do need to remember. Our old behavior is still a part of us. We may still be paying the consequences for it, with legal or health problems. We may still feel remorse over our actions. And we need to remember that our addiction did not end simply because we stopped using our drug of choice. We could relapse at any time if we aren’t careful and don’t work our program. We could replace our old addictive behaviors at any time with equally unhealthy new ones that may be harder for us to see. This is why we keep going to meetings. This is why we need our sponsor, our other program friends, and our Higher Power. Recovery is active. When we are working at it, we are recovering.

Today help me see what work I need to do for my recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

September 15

The evolution of human growth is an evolution from an absolute need to be loved towards a full readiness to give love.
--Dr. Karl Stern

As children, we looked to our parents for love, for clothes and food, for an indication of who we were. If our needs were met, we felt secure. As developing adults, we still seek love. We continue yearning for security and all too often our self-definition comes through someone else. But a healthy sign of our growth is revealed each time we extend love to another with no thought that love is owed us in return.

We can show our love in myriad ways - a genuine smile, a note of appreciation, an unexpected favor, perhaps flowers, or a phone call. Warmly giving another attention in any form is an act of love, one that will be repaid in full by someone, at some time.

The ease with which we genuinely love others is directly proportional to our commitment to loving as a priority in our lives. To love is a decision first, an action second, a value next.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey