More Recovery Readings - June

[bluidkiti]

June 1

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. --Helen Keller
Close observation of small children playing, ants moving across a dirt mound, a bird building a nest, a plane flying overhead, tomatoes ripening in a garden are quiet reminders of the many miracles surrounding us at any moment. Often we may wonder just how a carrot grows from a small seed. What enables a robin to fly south in the winter without getting lost? And then we remember the power of the Creator, and the presence of that power everywhere.
Just as the squirrel knows to collect nuts for winter, each of us knows we're always being watched over by God. When we remember that, we feel safe and happy wherever we are, at school, a new friend's house, home alone in the evening. Every moment is full of wonder, and God is always present.
What small things will I share with God today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
In music, in the sea, in a flower, in a leaf, in an act of kindness... I see what people call God in all these things. --Pablo Casals
The Third Step refers to "God as we understood Him." The pathways to meeting our Higher Power and to our spiritual awakening are all around. Every tree and every leaf on every tree, as it rustles in the wind, expresses God in our lives. When the little bird flies overhead or when it comes to visit the feeder, we are being visited by a spirit. When the sky boils with a storm, when lightning and thunder crash, we are witness to power greater than ourselves with a history beyond the centuries. The beautiful works of art created by our fellow human travelers on this journey through life are expressions of their courage to reach out and create something. A line of music moves us and we feel the spirit.
A child makes a drawing and gives it away. A neighbor helps you start your car. You treat the clerk at the checkout counter like a real person. Whatever word we use for God, if we decide to be open and receptive, we find God in the little details of our lives. Spiritual awakening is a wonderful daily occurrence.
God, open my senses to take in your presence more fully.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach; one can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Being selective in choosing activities, in choosing friends, in choosing material possessions fosters unexpected appreciation. Too much of any one thing negates whatever specialness might have been realized. If we surround ourselves with acquaintances, we never fully share in knowing a few people well. If we surround ourselves with "toys," we never learn how we really want to spend our time.
When we don't take life slowly, piece by piece (one shell at a time), we avoid the greatest discovery of all, the person within. When our attention to persons, places, things is deliberate and steady, the beauty within the object of our focus shines forth, and we, too, are made more beautiful in the process.
Today, I will take time to smell the flowers.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Directness
We feel safe around direct, honest people. They speak their minds, and we know where we stand with them.
Indirect people, people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they're feeling, cannot be trusted. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. And it may catch everyone by surprise.
Directness saves time and energy. It removes us as victims. It dispenses with martyrdom and games. It helps us own our power, It creates respectful relationships.
It feels safe to be around direct, honest people. Be one.
Today, I will own my power to be direct. I do not have to be passive, nor do I need to be aggressive. I will become comfortable with my own truth, so those around me can become comfortable with me.


Today I know my Higher Power gives me all the strength that I need to move forward. I can feel this strength growing within me as I dare to take one new step at a time. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Let Your Body Lead You

Our bodies can help provide us with direction.

Many of us have heard the expression I’m leaning toward that or I’m leaning away from that. When we’re centered and balanced, our body will help show us what we really want to do. We will literally lean toward or away from what we like or don’t like. We’v spent much of our lives forcing our body into situations, into energy fields and circumstances that it leaned away from, resisted, moved back from. Then we wondered why we hurt and felt uncomfortable.

The more we honor our body, the more it will help lead us. And the more it will become a natural guide helping us on our path, reflecting the desires of our heart and soul. The more we learn to trust our body, the more we’ll come into harmony with our natural rhythms, the cycles and movements of our lives.

Learn to open to the subtle guidance and messages your body sends to you about what it likes, what it dislikes, what it leans toward, and what it leans away from. Learn to see where it’s leading you. Talk to your body. Ask it what it wants. Then let it show you. Respect it enough to listen.

The more we connect to our bodies, the more we will live connected to our hearts, our souls, and be guided by the Divine. The more we practice listening to our bodies, the more naturally and easily this guidance and connection will flow.

Trust the wisdom of your body, for it often reflects the wisdom of your soul.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn to say relax

In skydiving, there is a position called the arch. It is a body position where the body is specifically arched from the neck down. The theory behind this is that gravity always works, and if the hips are arched, the sky diver will fall facedown toward the earth in a balanced, stable body position.

The trick to this body position is that it must be maintained in a relaxed way. If the sky diver doesn’t relax enough, the body will bounce around, maybe even flip over. Or, legs and arms won’t be in the right position, and the sky diver may start spinning out of control.

It is a deliberate, assertive, yet relaxed posture. It’s a place sky divers call “home.”

“You have to practice your arch,” my jump master had instructed. “And you have to learn to relax.”

“How,” I said quietly and sincerely, “do you expect me to relax when I’m falling through the air at 120 miles an hour to my certain death if everything doesn’t work out right?”

“Practice,” he said. “Get out of your head and let your body remember how it feels.”

During free fall, I was stable. I grinned at my instructor. This was fun. Then for a second, I tensed up. I started wobbling through the air, feeling like I was out of control. Finally, I took a deep breath and let myself relax.

There it was again. I had finally found home.

Whether we’re chasing our dreams, trying to let go of a relationship, trying to raise our family, trying to get to know ourselves better, recovering from a dependency, healing from a loss, or just plain going about our lives, we can find that place called home,” too– even when it feels like we’re falling to the ground at 120 miles an hour.

Part of the language of letting go is learning to say relax.

God, teach me to relax inside, even when it feels like the last possible thing I can do.

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Recognizing Happiness
Analyzing the Path

by Madisyn Taylor

When we take the time to recognize when we are happy and what that feels like, it becomes easier to recreate.


Those of us on the path of personal and spiritual growth have a tendency to analyze our unhappiness in order to find the causes and make improvements. But it is just as important, if not more so, to analyze our happiness. Since we have the ability to rise above and observe our emotions, we can recognize when we are feeling joyful and content. Then we can harness the power of the moment by savoring our feelings and taking time to be grateful for them.

Recognition is the first step in creating change, therefore recognizing what it feels like to be happy is the first step toward sustaining happiness in our lives. We can examine how joy feels in our bodies and what thoughts run through our minds in times of bliss. Without diminishing its power, we can retrace our steps to discover what may have put us in this frame of mind, and then we can take note of the choices we’ve made while there. We might realize that we are generally more giving and forgiving when there’s a smile on our face, or that we are more likely to laugh off small annoyances and the actions of others when they don’t resonate with our light mood.

Once we know what it feels like and can identify some of the triggers and are aware of our actions, we can recreate that happiness when we are feeling low. Knowing that like attracts like, we can pull ourselves out of a blue mood by focusing on joy. We might find that forcing ourselves to be giving and forgiving, even when it doesn’t seem to come naturally, helps us to reconnect with the joy that usually precedes it. If we can identify a song, a picture, or a pet as a happiness trigger, we can use them as tools to recapture joy if we are having trouble finding it. By focusing our energy on analyzing happiness and all that it encompasses, we feed, nurture, and attract more of it into our lives, eventually making a habit of happiness. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
Slowly but surely, I'm becoming able to accept other people's faults as well as their virtues. The Program is teaching me to "always love the best in others - and never fear their worst." This is hardly an easy transition from my old way of thinking, but I'm beginning to see that all people - including myself - are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong.

Am I approaching true tolerance? Am I beginning to see what real love for my fellows actually means?

Today I Pray
May God give me tolerance for any shortcomings or sick symptoms or insensitivities of others, so that I can love the qualities that are good in them. May God instruct me in the truest meaning of love - which must also include patience and forgiveness. May I not overlook the faults of those I love, but may I try to understand them.

Today I Will Remember
Love is understanding.

[bluidkiti]

June 2

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Thoughts, rest your wings. Here is a hollow of silence, a nest of stillness, in which to hatch your dreams. --Joan Walsh Anglund
There is silence in the nest before an egg is hatched. The mother robin must sit quietly and warm them enough to be hatched. During this time, the mother concentrates only on her eggs. She does not let herself be distracted.
There is a time of silence before anything creative is born. And there is silence in the mind before an idea is discovered. A nest is a safe place birds can always return to and be at home. We all need such a nest of silence--a place where we can be quiet and safe, where we can let ourselves be held, and rest.
Often, our best ideas come out of these quiet moments. Times of silence are good for our souls. Just like the robin eggs hatching, so will dreams and solutions grow out of our own nest of stillness.
How well will I use my quiet time today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
'Remember! You're two different animals. Men and women cannot totally unite. --Pierre Mornell
As we relate to women, we are often driven by needs, which no person could meet, and hampered by ignorance of what the opposite sex is really like. Perhaps we want to lose ourselves in a romantic closeness as we once lost ourselves in addiction and codependency. Then we get hurt and angry when the impossible doesn't happen. Or we fail to understand that one woman's reactions are different from our own.
The dialogue between the sexes is as old as the generations. It will always be a mixture of fascination, mystery, frustration, and new understandings. When we realize we cannot merge with a woman, take her over, or be taken over by her, we will meet her as a separate person, and our relationships will become vastly more peaceful.
Thanks to God for the differences. Let me learn more about them and accept them.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I have come to realize that all my trouble with living has come from fear and smallness within me. --Angela L. Wozniak
We create problems for ourselves because we think we need to be more than we are. We fear that we are inadequate to the task before us, fear that another woman is more attractive, fear that the friends around us are bored by our presence.
Fear hinders us; it prevents full involvement with the experiences we are given to grow on. When we withdraw from a situation in order to save ourselves from failure, we have chosen instead another kind of failure: failure to take all we can from life; failure to be all that we can be. Every experience can move us forward in the understanding of ourselves. When we withdraw, we stay stuck in a world we need to leave behind.
I will not fear whatever looks like trouble today. Nothing I can't handle, in fact, nothing I can't grow from will come my way today. My inner strength can see me through.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Owning Our Power
We don't have to give others so much power and ourselves so little. We don't have to give others so much credit and ourselves so little. In recovery from codependency, we learn there's a big difference between humility and discounting ourselves.
When others act irresponsibly and attempt to blame their problems on us, we no longer feel guilty. We let them face their own consequences.
When others talk nonsense, we don't question our own thinking.
When others try to manipulate or exploit us, we know it's okay to feel anger and distrust and to say no to the plan.
When others tell us that we want something that we really don't want, or someone tells us that we don't want something that we really do want, we trust ourselves. When others tell us things we don't believe, we know it's okay to trust our instincts.
We can even change our mind later.
We don't have to give up our personal power to anyone: strangers, friends, spouses, children, authority figures, or those over whom we're in authority. People may have things to teach us. They may have more information than we have, and may appear more confident or forceful than we feel. But we are equals. Our magic is not in them. Our magic, our light, is in us. And it is as bright a light as theirs.
We are not second-class citizens. By owning our power, we don't have to become aggressive or controlling. We don't have to discount others. But we don't discount ourselves either.
Today, I will own my power with people. I will let myself know what I know, feel what I feel, believe what I believe, and see what I see. I will be open to changing and learning from others and experience, but I will trust and validate myself too. I will stand in my own truth.


Today I choose to go with the flow. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Why Hurry Through?

Why hurry through a day, an hour, a life?

Hurry never catches up with itself. It misses out. It strains. It stresses. It doesn’t trust the natural rhythm, the natural order, of the universe. Slow down. Tap into the rhythm of the world. Tap into your rhythm as you dance through life, as you dance through eternity.

When you hurry, it is as if we are dancing out of step to the music. We become out of sync. Our body strains and stresses. We stop enjoying life. We are too busy hurrying, racing blindly to somewhere, anywhere. We hurry so fast that when we get there, we don’t take the time to enjoy it. We simply hurry on to the next moment.

Step in time to the music– the rhythm of our soul. The rhythm will lead you where you want to go. It will take you through all the tasks that need doing. It will take you down the road to spiritual growth, healing fulfillment, and joy.

And you’ll have more fun going there because you weren’t in a hurry.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Practice peace

I think that change often slips in when we’re relaxed inside of ourselves.
–Sark

Relax. Calm yourself down. Breathe consciously.

You don’t have to take a nap to relax, but sometimes it helps. So does taking a hot shower, walking through a forest, wading in a stream, drinking a cup of tea, going for a swim, watching a movie, listening to music, saying a prayer, meditating, getting a back rub, looking at the moon, or hearing a good joke.

Become conscious of how your body feels when you’re rrelaxed inside. How do you stand, walk, sit, breathe?

Become conscious of how you feel and what you think when you’re relaxed, It’s almost like nothingness, only you’re awake and aware. There are no angry thoughts and feelings. No frightened thoughts and feelings.

Practice relaxing until you can take that relaxed feeling with you no matter where you go or what you’re doing.

When’s a good time to relax? When you can’t do anything about whatever’s bothering you. When you’re afraid. When you’re certain that you have to do something, but you don’t know what that something is. When you’re meeting someone for the first time, obsessing, feeling guilty, grieving, feeling lonely, telling someone how you feel, balancing your checkbook, falling in love, getting a divorce, climbing a mountain, or learning to do something new.

When you practice relaxing inside, you’re practicing peace.

Practice peace until you can do it perfectly.

God, help me learn to consciously relax inside of myself.

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Sharing Space and Energy
Cohabitating with Others

Our homes are our havens. These places where we come to rest, recharge, and dream in safety and comfort allow us to better face the challenges of the world outside our doors. When sharing a living space with others, an awareness of the thoughts and feelings of everyone involved is essential in creating the peace we all desire. Regardless of where we lived before, each time we cohabitate with others it is important that we make the effort to share the space in a way that supports everyone.

We need to remember that in a shared space, everything we sense can also be sensed by another person. Peace will not likely be the result when the senses are filled with the sight of unwashed plates, intrusive sounds, unpleasant smells, the feel of a foreign substance beneath bare feet, or the taste of food tainted by an uncovered onion in the fridge. But if we communicate and listen with respect to those with whom we share a space, we may find that one enjoys washing dishes to end the day, while the other can take out the garbage during their evening walk. Working with another’s schedule, you can still meditate or exercise to your favorite music while the other is out, and save reading for the times when they are trying to sleep. Being thoughtful of the energy that is required for something to be cleaned up may make everyone aware of being neater, whether that means taking off your shoes at the entrance or wiping up juice spilled on the kitchen floor.

In the same way, pent up resentment toward your living partners is just as easily felt. Keeping the energy clear requires the effort of communication, the awareness of another’s feelings, and courtesy toward the space you share. While that sometimes requires changing your schedule or habits, there are many times when having a caring someone nearby is worth all the effort. Living with others can help us learn to mingle our energies at home as well as at work and in the world at large in a way that benefits us and everyone around us. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
In the process of learning to love myself and, in turn, to love others freely with no strings attached, I've begun to understand these words of St. Augustine: "Love slays what we have been, that we may be what we were not." More and more, I feel this enormous power of such love in The Program; for me, the words, "we care," also mean, "we love."

Just for today, will I try to be loving in every thought and action?

Today I Pray
I pray that I may feel the enormity and the power of the love I find in The Program. May my own caring be added to that great energy of love which belongs to all of us. May I care with my whole heart that my fellow members maintain their sobriety and are learning to live with it comfortably and creatively. May I never doubt that they care the same way about me.

Today I Will Remember
Caring makes it happen.

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One More Day

All our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling.
– Blaise Pascal

In all our endeavors it is apparent that success is possible only with persistent effort. We must all pay the price to achieve any worthwhile goal. We shouldn’t be surprised when negative thoughts enter our minds. These thoughts do not go away easily. We have human frailties, so our thoughts are often disorganized and feelings are to subdued or excessive. Perfection is not possible no matter how hard we try. But we can search for answers.

We can’t have things both ways, so we have to make choices. We can think through the trade-off before we make a choice. Whatever our choice, we should make it and accept it. Squandered chances to solve problems may be lost forever.

I struggle with the same problems over and over again. Today, I resolve to start my search to find some answers.

[bluidkiti]

June 3

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Men will find that they can prepare with mutual aid far more easily what they need and avoid far more easily the perils which beset them on all sides, by united forces. --Baruch Spinoza
Three travelers stopped in a small town on their way to the city. They had tents to sleep in, but no food or money. They knocked on doors asking for a little food, but the people were poor, with little to eat and nothing to spare.
Cheerfully, they returned to their camp and built a fire. "What are you doing?" asked a bystander, "Building a fire with nothing to cook?"
"But we do have something to cook!" they said. "Our favorite dish, stone soup. We only need a pot."
"I think I can find one," said one of the bystanders, and she ran home to fetch it.
When she returned, the travelers filled the pot with water and placed two large stones in it. "This will be the finest soup we've ever made!" said the first traveler. "I agree," said the second, "but don't you think it would taste better with a cabbage in it?"
"I think I can find one," said another bystander. And so it went the whole afternoon until, by evening, the travelers had a hearty, fragrant feast, which they shared with the hungry townspeople.
What can I do with help today, that I couldn't do alone?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Almost anything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. --Mohandas Gandhi
Looking back at yesterday, looking at today, what sense do we have of progress in our growth? Probably nothing very significant. Sometimes it is amazing how little a person can accomplish in a day's efforts. Yet, what alternative do we have? Only that we could do nothing. Or worse, we could return to our old ways.
Gandhi, one of the greatest spiritual leaders of the twentieth century, said he felt that almost anything one can do will be insignificant. Yet to do something is very important. Each day, each chance is small but takes us in a direction. When we look back over the last month or last year, we may see that only remaining faithful to our program, one day at a time, has carried us a very long way. The kind of person we each become is just as important as what we accomplish in the world around us.
May I learn to have patience with the insignificant moments in the present. They are very important indeed.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Follow your dream . . . take one step at a time and don't settle for less, just continue to climb. --Amanda Bradley
Dreams are common to us all. Dreams are special as well. We probably keep to ourselves many of our dreams for fear of derision or misunderstanding. Oftentimes we may have selectively shared some dreams, those we figured would get approval. The ones closest and dearest to us, the ones we feel most vulnerable about, we may choose to treasure to our hearts only, sometimes thinking, "If only you knew," sometimes wondering if we are being silly.
We are coming to believe that our dreams are spirit-filled. They are gifts to encourage us. Like a ship at sea needing a "heading" to move forward, our dreams lend direction to our lives. Our frustration may be that we can't realize a dream without many steps and much time. But life is a process of steps. Success in anything comes inch by inch, stroke by stroke, step after step.
My dreams today are meant to guide me. I will take a first step toward making the dream a reality.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Charity
We need healthy boundaries about receiving money, and we need healthy boundaries about giving money.
Some of us give money for inappropriate reasons.
We may be ashamed because we have money and don't believe we deserve it. We may belong to an organization that uses shame as a form of control to coerce us out of our money that the organization wants.
We can get hooked into giving money to our children, family members, or friends because we have earned or unearned guilt. We allow ourselves to be financially black mailed, sometimes by the people we love.
This is not money freely given, or given in health.
Some of us give money out of a sense of caretaking. We may have exaggerated feelings of responsibility for others, including financial responsibility.
We may be giving simply because we have not learned to own our power to say no when the answer is no.
Some of us give because we hope or believe people will love us if we take care of them financially.
We do not have to give money to anyone. Giving money is our choice. We do not have to allow ourselves to be victimized, manipulated, or coerced out of our money. We are financially responsible for ourselves. Part of being healthy is allowing those around us to be financially responsible for themselves.
We do not have to be ashamed about having the money that we earn; we deserve to have the money we have been given--whatever the amount, without feeling obligated to give it all away, or guilty because others want what we have.
Charity is a blessing. Giving is part of healthy living. We can learn to develop healthy boundaries around giving.
Today, I will strive to begin developing healthy boundaries about giving money. I understand that giving is my choice.


This morning and evening I will take the time I need to be still and hear God's will for me. This thought alone brings me peace. This commitment brings me serenity. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Transcend Your Judgements

“Not judging people is really a practical issue,” a friend explained. “Everybody does something they could be judged for. If we start judging, we’ll spend all our time doing that.”

My friend was right. But not judging is more than a practical matter, it is a spiritual issue as well.

I used to spend a lot of time judging other people. I used to think the world was divided into right and wrong. I thought judging others would help me stay clear on the difference; I thought judging was my job. Now I’ve learned something new about judgements and about myself. Judging others is what I do when I feel afraid, insecure, and limited. Judging others is something I do when I am afraid to love, when I can’t accept love because I can’t accept myself. And most important, I’ve learned that judging others is not my job. When I judge others, I judge myself.

Yes, there are issues we need to work on. Many of us have quirks we may live with most or all of our lives. But judging doesn’t help. Judgements limit us. Judgements condemn. They say, My past is not as it should be. I’m wrong. My life is wrong. Judgements put us in prison, no matter where we are.

Judgements come from the head. Freedom and love come from the heart. Transcending judgements will set you free. Learn to look at yourself in love– who you are, where you are, where you’ve been. Learn to look at others with love,too.

When we accept others with freedom and love, we accept ourselves.

Judgements put up barriers. Transcend your judgements, and you’ll be free.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say relax when you start to worry

Sometimes we tire ourselves out before we have even begun. We struggle and wrestle with our spirit before finally consenting, giving in, and deciding to walk our path. Then when we start, we wonder why we’re so tired.

Why do these things happen to me? What will happen if I try this idea? Where will I go if she leaves me? How will I live without him? What if I don’t do it right? What if?

The path is sometimes uphill. Walk up the hill. Sometimes we have to go around an obstacle. Go around it. When we spend time and energy fussing, complaining, and questioning the road before us, we rob energy from ourselves– energy that could be better spent on the journey.

Relax. Accept the path before you. A flat path would be boring. If we could see all the way to the end of the road from where we are standing, then what would be the point of walking it? Quit fighting the journey and start enjoying it.

God, keep me from the exhausting practice of worry and resentment. Let me trust in you and the universe.

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Focusing Our Energy
Fulfilling Energetic Investments

by Madisyn Taylor

Being fully present with all that we are, we can experience each choice fully and make the most fulfilling choices.


As modern life makes a wealth of information and opportunities available to us, we may find ourselves torn between a wide variety of interests and projects. Our excitement may entice us to try all of them at once, but doing so only diffuses our energy, leaving us unable to fully experience any of them. Like an electrical socket with too many things plugged into it, we may be in danger of overheating and burning out. But if we can choose one thing at a time to focus all of our attention upon, we can make the most of our life-force energy, engaging ourselves fully in the moment so that it can nurture us in return.

Our attention can be pulled in many directions, not only in our own lives, but by advertising, media, and the hustle and bustle of our surroundings. But when we take the time to listen to our inner guidance and focus our thoughts on the goals that resonate the most strongly within us, the rest of the world will fade away. This may mean focusing the spotlight of our attention upon developing one aspect of our work, one course of study, or one hobby to pursue in our free time, but it doesn’t mean that we have to stay focused on only one thing forever. We may never know which of our interests is best suited to our abilities and heart’s desires unless we give it a proper chance. By being fully present with all that we are and all that we have, we can experience each choice fully and make the most fulfilling choices for our energetic investments.

Because we are multi-faceted beings, we are perpetually involved in many aspects of life in every moment. Our work in the world is necessary to attend to our physical needs, and our relationships are important for our emotional needs, but when we engage our spirit as well, we can choose the area that will nurture body, mind and soul. Staying focused in each moment allows us move with the rhythmic flow of the universe and harmonize all aspects of our being into balanced whole. Published with permission from Daily OM

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One More Day

There are no gains without pain.
– Adlai Stevenson

Parents often are surprised that their children seem to change before their very eyes. The same is true in how we deal with each day. It was frightening when we experienced the toppling of many parts of our lives which had given us comfort and which we had expected to continue to comfort us. We may have initially thought that we’d never be able to reconstruct a productive life.

But we have been able to rebuild our lives. Like toddlers, we have taken a few small steps forward each day. Day after day, we’ve strengthened ourselves by making steady, but small, advances. Step by step we’ve re-created our lives, often without recognizing our growth. Then, suddenly, we look at our lives, and we are amazed at how far we’ve come. Amazed — and proud.

Today, I will take time to measure my growth, both emotionally and spiritually.

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, “wrote Thomas Merton, “we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” As I replace my self-destructive addictions, with a healthy dependence on The Program and its Twelve Steps, I’m finding that the barriers of silence and hatred are melting away. By accepting each other as we are, we have learned again to love. Do I care enough about others in The Program to continue working with them as long as necessary?

Today I Pray

May I be selfless enough to love people as they are, not as I want them to be, as they mirror my image or feed my ego. May I slow down in my eagerness to love — now that I am capable of feeling love again — and ask myself if I really love someone or only that someone’s idea of me. May I remove the “self” from my loving.

Today I Will Remember

Love is unconditional.

[bluidkiti]

June 4

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round! Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's done by everybody minding their own business. Ah well! It means much the same thing." --Lewis Carroll
No one helps a caterpillar become a butterfly. First it must crawl through the leaves as a many-legged creature, and then it weaves its own cocoon. Nature does its slow, daily work inside the cocoon and one day a butterfly emerges--and each butterfly is a different shape and color. No other creature can step in and speed up this process without hurting the butterfly.
Sometimes we humans confuse love with playing the part of God. We think we can speed up the natural growth of people around us. We interfere by telling them to do what we think best.
Sometimes the greatest love we can offer is to accept our loved ones the way they are. We need to remember that each caterpillar weaves a cocoon in its own time and becomes a butterfly in its own way. The wisdom of the universe is greater than our own.
How will I show my acceptance of others today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I will thank you because I am marvelously made; your works are wonderful, and I know it well. ---Psalms 139:14
Some days we feel bad about ourselves. Perhaps there is no real reason except a mood has come over us. Moodiness is a remnant of our past. Or perhaps we feel guilty or ashamed or hurt. We feel blue. We feel grouchy toward ourselves or toward others around us and the world.
This is a time to turn it over to our Higher Power. We are children of the universe. We are loved. Our Creator has endowed us with marvelous strengths and potentials. Today may be a day we allow ourselves to be carried along by the love of our Higher Power. If we reach out we will feel the presence of the spirit in our contact with other people. We need not try so hard. We only need to pray for openness within ourselves to feel the love of God.
I pray for help today to renew the feeling within that God loves me and never abandons me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. --Anne Frank
Happiness feels so close and yet so far away. Perhaps we look to a person for it, or to a job, or a new winter coat. We deserve happiness, we know. Yet, we learn so slowly that happiness can only be found within. The person leaves; the job goes sour; the new coat is quickly out of style. Elusive, all of them.
But the happiness that comes from knowing who we are and how our lives fit in the grand design of the Creator, never eludes us. We are one of a kind. And there is no other who can offer to the world of friends just what each of us can. We are needed, and knowing that, really knowing it, brings happiness.
Before we found this program, we no doubt failed to realize our worth. We can celebrate it now. We can glory in our worth, our specialness, and we can cherish the design. We can cherish our parts and cherish the part each other person plays.
Combined, we are as one big orchestra. The conductor reads the music and directs the movements. Being in tune with the conductor feels good. I can call it happiness. All I need do is play my part.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Trusting God
A married couple, friends of mine, decided to make some changes in their living situation. They had always lived in the city, and now they decided they wanted to live in the country, on a lake.
They found a small, lake home. It wasn't the house of their dreams, but when they sold their city home, they would have money to remodel it. They had saved some money, so they moved into their lake home before selling their city home.
One year passed, and the city home didn't sell. My friends went through many changes during this time. They had times of patience and impatience. Some days they trusted God; other days they couldn't figure out why God was making them wait so long, why God wouldn't let them move forward with their plan. The doors just wouldn't swing wide open.
One day, a neighbor came to visit my friends. His home on the lake was my friends' dream home - everything they wanted, plus more. The first time my friends saw this house, they admired it, wishing they could have a home just like it, but then they forgot about the idea. They didn't believe it could ever be possible.
The reason the neighbor came to visit my friends was that he and his wife had decided to move. He offered my friends the first option on purchasing his home.
My friends accepted his offer, and signed a purchase agreement. Within two months, they sold their city home and their small but adequate lake home. A short time later, they moved into the home of their dreams.
Sometimes, we experience times of frustration in our life. We believe we're on track, trusting God and ourselves, yet things don't work out. We have false starts and stops. The door refuses to swing wide open.
We may wonder if God has abandoned us, or doesn't care. We may not understand where we're going, or what our direction is.
Then one day we see: the reason we didn't get what we wanted was because God had something much better planned for us.
Today, I will practice patience. I will ask, and trust, my Higher Power to send me His best.


This day is full of miracle. They are right in front of me on my path. Today I have all the courage to let go of all that is holding me back so that I can step forward and experience each miracle that is waiting for me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Let Joy Find You

Somewhere along my journey it happened. Quietly, imperceptibly, almost without my knowing it. I relaxed. Got comfortable with myself. I began enjoying myself, accepting life. Liking life. I found joy.

Somewhere along your journey it will happen to you.

Joy is a gift. It appears imperceptibly, without warning, like a morning sunrise lighting our bedroom while we sleep. And it is almost as predictable. Keep doing the activities that bring healing and growth into your life. Keep loving yourself. Keep walking your path. Continue loving.

Don’t worry about finding joy. Because somewhere along your journey, joy will find you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Stop trying so hard

Stop trying to force and make things happen. Don’t you see that by pushing so hard, you’re sabotaging yourself.

There’s another way, a better way.

Surrender– not to the way you want things to be, but to the way things are, right now. Sometimes that means we surrender to loneliness, defeat, confusion, and helplessness. Sometimes that means we don’t get what we want today. Instead we get what we have today.

We’re not in control of many things and circumstances in this world. By forcing things, we often disconnect from our true power, instead of aligning with it.

Maybe something has to happen first, before you can get what you want or do what you want. Maybe there’s an important lesson you’re trying to skip. Maybe it’s not time. Stop trying so hard to push and force, to make it happen. Stop trying to do the impossible, and instead do what you can do– surrender to the way things are.

Then watch how naturally the impossible falls into place.

God, help me stop trying so hard to force things into place. Help me remember that all is well.

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Growing Your Own Food
Flavors of Life

by Madisyn Taylor

When we grow our food, we participate more fully in nature’s cycles and form a closer bond with Mother Earth.


Growing a garden of food at home is an experience anyone can enjoy. Even a hanging basket of rosemary or a cherry tomato plant in a pot on the windowsill can enhance your connection with the cycle of life. If you have space outdoors, the green and blooming colors of the edible delights you are growing will decorate any view while tempting you to enjoy the outdoors. The edible plants we nurture allow us to literally taste the fruits (or vegetables or herbs) of our labor while helping us more consciously participate in the circulating energy of nature.

Allow yourself to begin slowly and simply, so that you can learn to dance with nature’s intricate orchestrations. There are many experienced gardeners out there to assist you as you choose seeds or small plants to start your garden. As you learn to heed the seasons, soil, sun, frost, and shade, you become more than a mere spectator of life’s cycle. Instead, you step into the role of cocreator and enhance what you nurture. No matter how large or small the size of your garden, you can benefit from growing your own organic, fresh, and nutritious food while also reveling in the depth of flavor and texture that comes from plants that have been well-tended, nurtured, and loved. As we appreciate the food we’ve grown, we can recognize the care that farmers put into the produce most of us buy at the supermarket. With this new understanding, we can acknowledge the roles other living creatures fill as participants in cultivating the cycle of life. We may even learn to peacefully coexis! t with the animals and insects that share perhaps too great an interest in our garden.

When we grow our food, we participate more fully in nature’s cycles and form a closer bond with Mother Earth. Knowing how to grow your own food allows for a sense of freedom and pride that you can feed and provide for yourself, one of the most basic necessities. Gratitude may fill us as we marvel at the beauty of nature and the majesty of the universe that orchestrates such natural wonders. When we allow our appreciation of life to expand, we harvest so much more than food and the taste is that much sweeter. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
"It seems to me," wrote AA co-founder Bill W., "that the primary object of any human being is to grow, as God intended, that being the nature of all growing things. Our search must be for what reality we can find, which includes the best definition and feeling of love that we can acquire. If the capability of loving is in the human being, then it must surely be in his Creator."

Will I pray today not so much to be loved, as to love?

Today I Pray
God grant me the patience of a lifetime in my search for the best answer to the question, "What is love?" May I know that the definition will come to me in snatches as I live life's several roles - as child, lover, parent, teacher, friend, spiritual being. May I be grateful for my experience as a chemically dependent person, which adds a special dimension to the meaning of love.

Today I Will Remember
All love reflects God's love.

[bluidkiti]

June 5

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
To render ourselves insensible to pain we must forfeit also the possibilities of happiness. --Sir John Lubbock
A caterpillar knows instinctively that it must spin a cocoon. When finished it will use the protection it has made to turn itself into a beautiful butterfly. When the time is right, the butterfly will break through the cocoon and stretch its wings to meet the world.
We sometimes protect ourselves by withdrawing into a cocoon of our own. We stop talking to others and find ourselves growing lonely and longing for our friends. Perhaps it was some pain that made us retreat, but the pain of loneliness is greater. When we have the courage to break out of our cocoon, knowing and accepting the fact that we will experience both pain and happiness, we will change. We will become, for that moment, something new and beautiful like the butterfly.
What fearful thing do I have the courage to face today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Where there is no strife there is decay: "The mixture which is not shaken decomposes." --Heraclitus
Transitions and changes are often painful, sometimes frightening. Often the most troubled lives are those most unyielding to change. When we become so committed to stability that we cannot flow with the never- ending river of life, we wither and die spiritually. Every one of us has changes moving within our lives. Some changes are beneath the surface and we only vaguely sense them. Others are obvious and we are dealing with their effects. When we see change only as a problem or as pain, we have a harder time getting on with our lives.
Looking back, we can see other changes we would never have chosen or planned for ourselves. We can see now that we grew with them. Change forced us into new realms, and we found sides of ourselves we hadn't known before. Through whatever strife and difficulty of change we face today, we have a stable program to fall back on. And we have our relationship with our Higher Power which is with us through all times.
I will try to have a lighter grip upon life today so that as the river of change flows, I can flow with it.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The level of anxiety I feel when an attractive woman enters the room is the cue informing me of my closeness to God at that moment. --Anonymous
Our security lies now and always in our relationship with God. When we are spiritually connected, we don't lack confidence, self-assurance. We don't doubt our value to those around us. Having an active friendship with our God keeps us ever aware that whatever is right for each of us at this time will be given us, that each other person in our life is also on a divinely ordained path going somewhere special to her growth.
It's unfortunate, but true, that many of us had painful experiences with other women earlier in our lives. Maybe we lost a lover or a husband to someone we knew. And it's difficult to believe that what is right for us will come to us, that we need never fear another woman.
The program offers us daily opportunities to take stock of our assets in order to know that we count. And more importantly, it promises security and serenity if each day we invite our higher power to be our companion. We need never fear someone else's presence. Nor need we fear any new situation. With God at our side, all is well. And we'll know it!
I will make God my friend today and enjoy the ease of living.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Combating Shame
Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet.
-- Beyond Codependency
Watch out for shame.
Many systems and people reek of shame. They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them. They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame.
We don't have to fall into their shame. Instead, we'll take the good feelings - self-acceptance, love, and nurturing.
Compulsive behaviors, sexually addictive behaviors, overeating, chemical abuse, and addictive gambling are shame-based behaviors. If we participate in them, we will feel ashamed. It's inevitable. We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because those will immerse us in shame.
Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed "original shame" upon us, may try to put shame on us. This can happen when we're all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life. Don't think. . . . Don't feel. . . . Don't grow or change. . . .Don't be alive. . . . Don't live life. . . . Be ashamed!
Be done with shame. Attack shame. Go to war with it. Learn to recognize it and void it like the plague.
Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world. If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, and then be done with it as quickly as possible. God, help me know that it's okay to love myself and help me to refuse to submit to shame. If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.


Peace and relaxation flow through me with every breath that I take. I am complete in this moment. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

What Are You Trying to Prove?

You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Not even to yourself.

A subconscious desire to prove ourselves may be hiding at the root of our fears, the root of our tension, the root of our need to do and be more. Accompanying it can be a burning belief that we aren’t good enough, that we need to compensate for some deficiency in ourselves in order to take our place on this planet.

We may feel like we have to earn our place, earn our right to be here. Like we’re being watched and judged, graded.

You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You’re fine just the way you are. You have energy, vitality. You have particular gifts and talents. You have been learning your lessons just right in your life.

Let go of the need to prove yourself to others– to parents, people from the past, people in your life today. Could it be the one you’ve really been trying to prove something to is yourself. The answer is simple: learn to approve of yourself. Love and accept yourself the way you are today. Then step right up and take your place in the universe.

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More Language Of Letting Go

You don’t have to exert that much control

“Hey killer, how about relaxing the old death grip there.”

Why did he always say that? Probably because I always got nervous and held the yoke too tightly. Rob, my flight instructor, was teaching me basic maneuvers in the little Cessna 172 trainer again. He wanted me to put the plane into a steep turn. The only problem was that every time I tried, I felt as though the little plane would fall out of the sky. I know. It’s crazy. But knowing didn’t help my feeling very much.

“Here, watch this. I have the controls,” Rob said. And taking the controls, my instructor put the plane into a sharply banked turn. Then he let go of the yoke.” “Aaaah!” I yelled. Nothing happened. The little airplane kept turning with no further input from anyone. “You see,” Rob explained, “when you have the trim setting adjusted right, the airplane will do what you tell it to do. There’s no need to force it. Now relax and try again.”

I did, and the turn was better this time. Maybe the plane wouldn’t fall out of the sky after all. And another small piece of the puzzle got filled in.

There are many things that we can do to keep our lives on course. We can talk to our mentors and sponsors, read positive books, attend support groups, listen to positive music, pray, meditate, work a recovery program if we’re in one, and grow. We don’t want to become complacent. Safety consciousness is important. But once we have set ourselves on course, it isn’t necessary to constantly be worried about falling out of the sky.

Set your plan in motion. Get on the right track. But remember that if saving your life is important, it is also important to have a life worth saving. Relax a little. The plane will keep on flying as long as you give it the right input.

God, grant me the grace to relax, to let go of worry and self-doubt, and to let myself enjoy life and the experiences that it has to offer.

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Coming out of a Haze

by Madisyn Taylor

We cannot predict when a fog will come or when it will lift, but we can center ourselves in the haze and wait for guidance.


When we feel muddled and unfocused, unsure of which way to turn, we say we are in a fog. Similar to when we are in a fog in nature, we may feel like we can’t see where we’re going or where we’ve come from, and we’re afraid if we move too quickly we might run into something hidden in the mists that seem to surround us. Being in a fog necessarily slows us down by limiting our visibility. The best choice may be to pull over and wait for the murkiness to clear. If we move at all, we must go slowly, feeling our way and keeping our eyes open for shapes emerging from the haze, perhaps relying on the taillights of someone in front of us as we make our way along the road.

By and large, most of us prefer to be able to see where we are going and move steadfastly in that direction, but there are gifts that come from being in a fog. Sometimes it takes an obstacle like fog to get us to stop and be still in the moment, doing nothing. In this moment of involuntary inactivity, we may look within and find that the source of our fogginess is inside us; it could be some emotional issue that needs tending before we can safely go full steam ahead. Being in a fog reminds us that when we cannot see outside ourselves, we can always make progress by looking within. Then again, the fog may simply be teaching us important lessons about how to continue moving forward with extreme caution, harnessing our attention, watching closely for new information, and being ready to stop on a dime.

We cannot predict when a fog will come, nor can we know for certain when it will lift, but we can center ourselves in the haze and wait for guidance. We may find it inside ourselves or in a pair of barely visible taillights just ahead. Whether we follow the lights out of the fog, wait for a gentle breeze to lift it, or allow the sun to burn it away, we can rest certain that one way or another, we will move forward with clarity once again. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
The Program teaches me that not too many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us have to admit that we've loved but a few and that we've been quite indifferent to the many. As for the rest, well, we've really disliked or hated them. We in The Program find we need something much better than this in order to keep our balance. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many and can continue to fear or hate anyone at all, has to be abandoned - if only a little at a time.

At meetings, do I concentrate on the message rather than the messenger?

Today I Pray
May I understand that there is no place in my recovery - or in my entire life as a chemically dependent person - for toxic hatred or lackadaisical indifference. One of the most important positive ideas that I must carry with me is that all humans, as the children of God, make up a loving brother-and-sisterhood. May I find it hard to hate a brother.

Today I Will Remember
Hear the message. Don't judge the messenger.

[bluidkiti]

June 6

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A good anger acted upon is beautiful as lightning and swift with power. A good anger swallowed clots the blood like slime.
--Marge Piercy
How does it feel when someone tells us we should play basketball when we don't want to? Often, it angers us that someone else is telling us what to do. After we have been told we should do something many times, we begin to believe it and forget how we really feel. Even though we have forgotten what we wanted to do, we feel angry, often without realizing it. Such hidden anger can leave us feeling bad without knowing why.
It is important to know when we are angry, and to say so. There are healthy ways of expressing anger without blaming others. Saying we are angry, and thereby claiming it as our own feeling and not something others force on us, is a way to express it which also affirms our right to be angry.
If there is anger in me today, can I express it correctly?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Words and magic were in the beginning one and the same thing, and even today words retain much of their magical power. --Sigmund Freud
We shape our experiences with the words we use to describe them. Word images create expectations and we naturally move toward them. When a man says, "I can't!" he is commanding his unconscious self to be helpless. When he has a picture in his mind of moving toward his goal, he may say, "It's hard, but I'm going to give it my best effort." If, every time he makes a mistake, he mutters berating statements to himself like, "You idiot! You can't do anything right," he is teaching himself to be inadequate.
It's our responsibility in recovery to use respectful, honest, health- giving words. We can no longer use defeating, shaming, or derogatory words. Our language has a hypnotic effect on us and the people around us. So let's look at our resources today and name them. Let's meet our difficulties with our strength, our patience, and the backing of our Higher Power.
Today, I will call forth images and use words to show I respect myself and others.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
>From early infancy onward we all incorporate into our lives the message we receive concerning our self-worth, or lack of self-worth, and this sense of value is to be found beneath our actions and feelings as a tangled network of self-perception. --Christina Baldwin
Lifting our self-esteem is not a particularly easy task for most of us. It's probable that again and again our confidence wavered before we sought help from the program. It's also probable that our confidence still wanes on occasion. The old fears don't disappear without effort.
But each day we can do some one thing that will help us to feel better about ourselves. All it takes is one small act or decision, each day. The program can give us the strength we need each day to move forward one step.
Today, I will do one thing I've been putting off. A whole collection of "one days" will lay the groundwork for the person I'm building within.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
The Gift of Readiness
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. --Step Six of Al-Anon
We progress to the Sixth Step by working diligently, to the best of our ability, on the first Five Steps. This work readies us for a change of heart, openness to becoming changed by a Power greater than ourselves - God.
The path to this willingness can be long and hard. Many of us have to struggle with a behavior or feeling before we become ready to let it go. We need to see, over and over again, that the coping device that once protected us is no longer useful.
The defects of character referred to in Step Six are old survival behaviors that once helped us cope with people, life, and ourselves. But now they are getting in our way, and it is time to be willing to have them removed.
Trust in this time. Trust that you are being readied to let go of that which is no longer useful. Trust that a change of heart is being worked out in you.
God, help me become ready to let go of my defects of character. Help me know, in my mind and soul, that I am ready to let go of my self defeating behaviors, the blocks and barriers to my life.


I know that I cannot be hurt by anyone if I consistently look for their best. Today I continue to search out the best in all my relationships, looking for something I can love in everyone. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Learn to Change Your Energy

The simple act of moving around can change your energy. When your mind starts to flag, move your body around. Go for a walk, take a bath, get a drink of water, work out at the gym. You’re doing more than moving your body, you’re changing and rearranging your energy field.

Listen to your body. It will say what it needs, what it would like, what would be helpful. If you let it, it will even move quite naturally to what would do it good. Stretch your legs. Stretch your arms. Go outside. Do some deep breathing. Call a friend. Meditate. Tell a joke to a co-worker. You don’t have to stay stuck in the energy you’re in. You don’t have to be a victim to the way you feel right now.

One of the powers we learn we have is the ability to shift, refocus, and rearrange our energy. When we get stuck in a particular emotion or reaction or mind-set, when we get bogged down or too fired up, we can save ourselves a lot of time by changing our energy, instead of hammering away at a change in the situation. Learn to tell when it is time to do that. Then discover what works for you– the little acts as well as the big ones.

Be gentle with yourself when you get stuck, when you need a fresh viewpoint. Learn to change and rearrange your energy as needed.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of tension

In Find and Use Your Inner Power, author Emmet Fox used the metaphor of trying to force a key into the lock to unlock the door. When we’re tense and afraid, Fox explained, we fumble. Sometimes the very key that is the right key doesn’t work because we’re trying to force it, because we’re so tense and uptight.

Relax. See! The less control and force you use, the better.

Maybe the key you’ve been trying to use all along is the right one. Maybe it was your fear and panic that was keeping you from unlocking the door. Maybe you were trying to force it, after all.

See how easily and naturally things work out when you just simply relax and let go. You will tap into your true power and the power of the universe when you move, love, work, and play from a place of relaxed and calm inner peace.

Move from your center. Let things work out.

God, help me stay serene, confident, and joyful as I go through my day.

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Staying Grounded
Foot Cleansing Rituals

by Madisyn Taylor

Our feet are our primary means of connecting with the earth but remain so neglected confined to shoes.


In most contemporary cultures, where there aren’t many opportunities to go barefoot, few acts are as intimate as touching the feet of another person. Our feet are our primary means of connecting with the earth, yet they usually remain confined in shoes or sandals. Cleansing the feet of a friend or loved one is a sign of trust, closeness, and openness. Cleansing your own feet can be a relaxing interlude that can help you feel refreshed. Foot cleansing also has become a popular stress reliever and beautification ritual.

Ritual foot cleansing has a long and intricate history involving many methods and motivations. It has been used as an initiation, a welcoming gesture, a purification ceremony, and as a means to demonstrate humbleness. Cleansing ceremonies involving the feet are performed in many different parts of the world. In many cases, the meaning of the ritual was twofold. It was a way of cleaning a guest’s feet before entering a home and a sign of hospitality. In Buddhism, clean water mixed with sandalwood to clean the feet is one of the eight typical offerings. By cleansing the feet of an enlightened being, it is possible to cleanse one’s own karma.

You can perform a foot washing ritual on yourself or a companion as a ceremonial activity or as a way to unwind. You may want to start by trying a traditional ritual, or you might feel comfortable inventing your own. Try mixing elements like traditional flower infused water with something more modern like a sugar scrub. Take the time to set your intention for the foot washing ritual. Perhaps you would like to cleanse away old energies in your life so you may step freely toward your future. Or, maybe soaking your feet in warm water will help you relax after a long day at work. Remember to thank your feet for their support. Whether done with pleasure or as an offering, a foot cleansing ritual is a sacred act that honors the divine in you and others. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Adjusting myself to things as they are, and being able to love without trying to interfere with or control anyone else, however close to me — that’s one of the important things I search for and can find in The Program. The learning is sometimes painful; however, the reward is life itself — full and serene. Is The Program helping restore me to a sane and reasonable way of thinking, so I can handle my interpersonal relationships with love and understanding?

Today I Pray

May I respect those that I love enough to set them free — to stop controlling, manipulating, scheming, balling them out of trouble. May I love them enough to let them make their own mistakes and take responsibility for them. May I learn to let go.

Today I Will Remember

Love is letting Go.

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One More Day

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul.
– Mohandas Gandhi

Some people have suggested that we shouldn’t ask for something in prayer. Yes our need to pray is often fueled by emotional or physical pain or by confusion or doubt. Certainly we can’t — certainly we shouldn’t — wait for distressing situations to pass before we pray or meditate.

Our soul long for balance and serenity, and we find this when we turn our pain, doubts, and fears over to the comforting presence of our Higher Power. Often what we seek is not an answer to a question as much as a sense of being loved and understood. When we can’t find these in our physical world, we reach out with our spiritual selves to a balancing presence that understands our deepest pains and fears and our greatest joys.

No matter what I express in prayer, I am comforted in knowing I’m understood.

[bluidkiti]

June 7

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The human brain forgets ninety percent of what goes on. --Jan Milner
There were two women who shared a house and raised their daughters, two toddlers, together. Then one of the women got transferred to another city and moved with her daughter.
Ten years later, they had a reunion. The mothers asked their kids what they remembered about living together. Did they remember all the books? No. Did they remember a mom in the kitchen every morning, fixing eggs and toast? No.
What they remembered was playing in the pink bathtub for hours, pulling the pink shower curtain shut for privacy. And the morning the mothers sneaked in, turned off the lights, threw plastic cups and spoons over the curtain and cried, "It's raining spoons!" They laughed and laughed.
We are lucky in this life--our minds think laughter is what's worth remembering.
What laughter from yesterday can I remember today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A shortcut is often the quickest way to some place you weren't going. --Classic Crossword Puzzles
We try shortcuts when we are in a hurry. The founders of this program tell us many people tried to find an easier, softer way because this one seemed too hard and too slow. Shortcuts to growth lead to dead ends and detours. Many men have experimented with shortcuts like "the geographical cure," "controlled use," "get rid of this partner and try someone else," "abstinence without the spiritual part of recovery," or "selecting some of the Steps and bypassing others."
The shortest road to one's own spirituality is the long road we see before us. We may wish for something more to our liking. But that is not an option for those of us who choose to grow toward full manhood. We deal with one day's - or one hour's - part of the road at a time. Maybe we see a job we have to do, a challenge to face, an unfinished talk with someone. Our task is to take this day and, in partnership with our Higher Power, see it in the light of our spiritual path.
I pray for faithfulness to this program. I will avoid shortcuts, allowing my spirituality to grow and deepen.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Without discipline, there's no life at all. --Katharine Hepburn
Procrastination is habitual. It's perhaps a habit we've struggled with over the years, and not one that can be willed away. It eats at us, no doubt. How many times have we gone to bed at night depressed, discouraged, angry with ourselves for not finishing a job we promised ourselves, or someone else, we'd do! Sometimes it feels hopeless. The tasks awaiting our attention pile up, seem impossible to complete. But there is hope. The program has offered us an easy solution.
We have only this day to concern ourselves with. We can break the spell of procrastination, lethargy, immobility, if we choose. We can pick a task that needs attention, any task, preferably a small one for today. Maybe it's writing a letter, or fixing a hem, or making an appointment to see a doctor. Deciding to do something, and then doing it, breaks through the barriers that have caged us. Immediately we will sense the surge of freedom. In this moment we can always act. And any act will free us.
When procrastination blocks us, our senses are dead to the friends close to us. It's as though we have stepped outside of the circle of life. The real gifts of sobriety are beyond our reach when we choose inaction.
I will get free. I will tackle a small task today. It will bless me in special ways.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Into Orbit
It doesn't matter if they're hurting themselves. It doesn't matter that we could help them if they'd only listen to, and cooperate with, us. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER. --Codependent No More
I think I can change him. Nobody's ever really loved him and appreciated him before. I'll be the one to do that, and then he'll change. . . . She's never been with anybody trustworthy before. I'll prove how trustworthy I am, and then she'll be able to love. . . . Nobody's been able to get to her, to conquer her, before. I'll be the one to do that. . . . Nobody's ever really given him a chance. . . . Nobody's ever really believed in him before. . . .
These are warning signs. Red lights. Red flags. In fact, if we're thinking these thoughts, they need to be stop signs.
If we have gotten hooked into believing that somehow we will be the one who will make the difference in someone's life, if we are trying to prove how good we can be for someone, we may be in trouble.
This is a game. A deception. It won't work. It'll make us crazy. We can trust that. We're not seeing things clearly. Something's going on with us.
It will be self-defeating.
We may be "the one" all right - the one to wind up victimized.
The whole thought pattern reeks of codependency, of not being responsible for oneself, and of victimization. Each person needs to do his or her own work.
Nobody in the past has really understood him. . . . Nobody has seen what I see in her. . . . It's a set up. It sets us up to stop paying attention to ourselves while we focus too much on the other person. It takes us away from our path and often puts us in orbit.
Nobody has appreciated him enough. . . . Nobody has been good enough to her, or done for her what I can do. . . . It's a rescue. It's a game move, a game we don't have to play. We don't have to prove we're the one. If we're out to show people we're the best thing that ever happened to them, it may be time to see if they're the best thing that ever happened to us.
We have not been appointed as guardian angel, godmother, godfather, or "the one who will."
The help, support, and encouragement that truly benefits others and ourselves emerges naturally. Let it.
God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships.


Today I am willing to experience all my feelings without hiding or running away. I am feeling alive in all moments and I am living this day to the fullest. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Never Say Never

On my trip, I stayed at several parks. The lodging was usually fine, but the ambiance and setting often weren’t what I wanted. I needed smaller, quieter places. At one point in my journey I said, Never again will I stay in a state park. Shortly after, I found myself nestled in a room at Olympic Park in Washington. It was one of the finest, quietest, most healing places I had ever encountered. I laughed at myself. By saying never, I had nearly cheated myself out of this experience.

Please don’t say never. It sets up resistance. Challenges life. Challenges fate. And closes doors.

Never is dogmatic and judgemental. Never means limited thinking. And never usually means probably.

When we say never it is sometimes because we have prejudged a thing without experiencing it. Other times, we say never because in the past a particular experience with a place or person was unpleasant. To say never means we’re expecting all similar experiences to be unpleasant. It doesn’t leave room for change or new and different experiences.

Learn from the past. Trust yourself. Trust your experiences, even the ones that haven’t worked for you. But please don’t say never. Stay open to all the universe holds.

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More Language Of Letting Go

You’ve got all the time you need

If we believe our relationships or jobs are finite situations, then it becomes easy to feel stressed if things don’t go the way we planned in the time frame that we expected. The promotion doesn’t come in time, and now our career plan is off track. And relationship problems become huge, dramatic monsters– a series of issues– that eat away every spare minute.

But if we believe that we are living in an infinite time frame, stress begins to dissipate. If I don’t get the promotion this week, maybe it will come next month and who knows, I may not even want it by then. Some of those big, monstrous relationship issues just sort themselves out if they’re not constantly held under a magnifying glass. And the moments spent with our loved ones become more enjoyable because we’re not continually working on the relationship.

When we behave on a finite scale, we can get so wrapped up in the details of a few moments that we cannot free ourselves to enjoy the next moment. When we start living on an infinite plane, it is easier to relax and let the universe carry us down the river, bringing us to all the lessons and joy that we need.

God, help me relax and know that if a situation doesn’t come to pass today, eventually it will work itself out. And I’ve got all the time I need.

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Putting Power in Perspective
Always Be for Something

by Madisyn Taylor

There is more power in being FOR something rather than AGAINST something.


As human beings, we cannot help but be subject to our preferences. However, we do have control over the manner in which these manifest themselves in our lives. Every value we hold dear is an expression of either support or opposition, and it is our perspective that determines whether we are for something or against it. As an example of a situation we are all familiar with at this time: We can direct our energy and intentions into activities that promote peace rather than using our resources to speak out in opposition of war. On the surface, these appear to be two interchangeable methods of expressing one virtue, yet being for something is a vastly more potent means of inspiring change because it carries with it the power of constructive intent.

When you support a cause, whether your support is active or passive, you contribute to the optimism that fuels all affirmative change. Optimistic thoughts energize people, giving them hope and inspiring them to work diligently on behalf of what they believe in. Being for something creates a positive shift in the universe, which means that neither you nor those who share your vision will have any trouble believing that transformation on a grand scale is indeed possible. To be against something is typically easy, as you need only speak out in opposition to it. Standing up for something is often more challenging, because you may be introducing an idea to people that may scare them on a soul level.

Throughout your life, you have likely been told that the actions of one person will seldom have a measurable impact on the world. Yet your willingness to stand up for what you believe in instead of decrying what you oppose can turn the tides of fate. The thoughts you project when you choose to adopt a positive perspective will provide you with a means to actively promote your values and, eventually, foster lasting change. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Few of us are entirely free from a sense of guilt. We may feel guilty because of our words or actions, or for things left undone. We may even feel guilty because of irrational or false accusations by others. When I’m troubled by a gnawing feeling of guilt, obviously I can’t put into my day all I’m capable of. So I must rid myself of guilt — not by pushing it aside, or ignoring it, but by identifying it and correcting the cause. Have I finally begun to learn to “keep it simple…”?

Today I Pray

May I learn not to let myself be “guilted,” made to feel guilty when I don’t consider that I am. Since I doubtless have the dregs of guilt left over from my addictive behavior, I do not need the extra burden of unreasonable blame laid on me. I count on God to help me sort out and get rid of these twinges and pangs of guilt, which whether justified or not, need to be recognized and unloaded.

Today I Will Remember

The verdict of guilty is not for life.

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One More Day

To know how to grow old is the master-work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.
– Henri Frederic Amiel

We often strive to imitate people we admire — special teachers, our parents, or friends. Many older people we choose to emulate have remained productive members of their communities and have found significant ways to help people. If we can be active, busy, and helpful we will not only enhance our lives, we become the role models for those younger than we are.

There are some people who seem to age so gracefully that they have the ability to make everyone around them feel special. We all appreciate friends like that, and we can become that way too.

I will live my life so well that I am a role model for young people.

[bluidkiti]

June 8

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Caring is everything; nothing matters but caring. --Baron Friedrich Von Hugel
The caring we receive from someone we love when we're sick can heal us just as much as the medicine we take. For children, Mom is usually the one who makes sure we get enough rest by having us stay in bed. By bringing us juice and aspirins she helps us keep our fevers down. She also lifts our spirits when she tells us a funny story.
Perhaps the next time a loved one is sick we can do the special and caring things. We can bring a favorite magazine or a cold glass of water, tell a joke, or just sit and be there for a while. Whether the sick person is a parent or a brother or sister, when we help care for another, we complete a circle of caring begun by a parent so long ago.
Does someone need my care today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Come, Love! Sing On! Let me hear you sing this song - sing for joy and laugh, for I the creator am truly subject to all creatures. --Mechtild of Magdeburg
Recovery without joy and song and playfulness is incomplete. The beauty of music uplifts our spirits and shows us the face of our Creator. For many men, music is their means of meditation and conscious contact with their Higher Power. When we experience the creativity of a musical piece, as it speaks to us, we take a step beyond the practical world, into the profound level of creation.
Some people say, "How can you celebrate when there is so much suffering, so much to grieve about?" We have grieved; we continue to grieve alongside our joy. But we need not pour all our energies into the painful and sad. Life is also wonderful. Music and dance and the joy of good fellowship enrich our lives and strengthen us to go on.
Praise the spirit of our Creator for all that is given to us!


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The process of living, for each of us, is pretty similar. For every gain there is a setback. For every success, a failure. For every moment of joy, a time of sadness. For every hope realized, one is dashed. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
The balance of events in our lives is much like the balance of nature. The pendulum swings; every extreme condition is offset by its opposite, and we learn to appreciate the gifts . . . of the bad times as well as the periods of rest.
On occasion we'll discover that our course in life has changed direction. We need not be alarmed. Step Three has promised that we are in caring hands. Our every concern, every detail of our lives will be taken care of, in the right way, at the right time.
We can develop gratitude for all conditions, good or bad. Each has its necessary place in our development as healthy, happy women. We need the sorrows along with the joys if we are to gain new insights. Our failures keep us humble; they remind us of our need for the care and guidance of others. And for every hope dashed, we can remember, one will be realized.
Life is a process. I will accept the variations with gratitude. Each, in its own way, blesses me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Fun
Have some fun - with life, with the day.
Life is not drudgery; that is an old belief. Let go of it. We are on an adventure, a journey. Events will come to pass that we cannot now fathom.
Replace heaviness and weariness of spirit with joy. Surround yourself with people and things that bring lightness of spirit.
Become sensitive to lightness of spirit.
The journey can be an exciting adventure. Let yourself enjoy it.
God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships.


Today I do all the footwork I can to make my life work. I trust the results to God and know that they will be just what is good and right for me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Be Gentle and Loving

As I drove into Utah, past Zion National Park. I began to feel the oddest sensation emanating from the earth, emanating from me. It was soft. Lovely Light. All evening, deer had been crossing my path, coming to me from out of the woods. That’s when I remembered. In the Medicine Cards, deer are the symbol for gentleness and love. The feeling coming from the ground, through the air was gentleness, kindness, and love.

The universe was reminding me of something. Iy was a place inside me, one I had discovered before, a place of gentleness and love. Somewhere along my life’s journey, with all its trials, moving about, business, and experiences, I had let the gentleness slip away. Now it was time to go there again. It was a reminder to be gentle and kind to others, be gentle and kind to myself.

Gentleness, kindness, and love are more than places to visit. They are places we can take with us wherever we go.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of judgements

We can’t relax when we’re being judgemental. As soon as we decide that a thing or situation is either good or bad, we place ourselves in the situation of having to do something about it. For example, if someone is good, we begin to compare ourselves to that person. Am I better or worse? What can I do to improve? If we decide that a thing is bad, then our conscience tells us that we must try to get rid of it.

Either way, we get so busy thinking about our judgements and allowing our minds to create scenarios that we cannot relax and enjoy things the way they are.

Drop your judgemental mind today and relax. If blessings or good people have come into your life, let them be. You do not have to be better or worse than they are.

If a thing is damaging or hurtful to you, you will know that and you can deal with it when the time comes.

Be aware of the people and things in your life. Relax and enjoy them without passing judgement on them.

God, help me learn to enjoy the people and experiences in my life.

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Sitting with Our Sadness
The Heart of Humanity

by Madisyn Taylor

Sitting with our sadness takes the courage to believe that we can bear the pain and we will come out the other side.


The last thing most of us want to hear or think about when we are dealing with profound feelings of sadness is that deep learning can be found in this place. In the midst of our pain, we often feel picked on by life, or overwhelmed by the enormity of some loss, or simply too exhausted to try and examine the situation. We may feel far too disappointed and angry to look for anything resembling a bright side to our suffering. Still, somewhere in our hearts, we know that we will eventually emerge from the depths into the light of greater awareness. Remembering this truth, no matter how elusive it seems, can help.

The other thing we often would rather not hear when we are dealing with intense sadness is that the only way out of it is through it. Sitting with our sadness takes the courage to believe that we can bear the pain and the faith that we will come out the other side. With courage, we can allow ourselves to cycle through the grieving process with full inner permission to experience it. This is a powerful teaching that sadness has to offer us—the ability to surrender and the acceptance of change go hand in hand.

Another teaching of sadness is compassion for others who are in pain, because it is only in feeling our own pain that we can really understand and allow for someone else’s. Sadness is something we all go through, and we all learn from it and are deepened by its presence in our lives. While our own individual experiences of sadness carry with them unique lessons, the implications of what we learn are universal. The wisdom we gain from going through the process of feeling loss, heartbreak, or deep disappointment gives us access to the heart of humanity. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

A friend in The Program taught me to look at excessive guilt in an entirely new way, suggesting that guilt was nothing but a sore of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine, he said. But guilt, no. I’ve since learned that condemning ourselves for mistakes we’ve made is just as bad as condemning others for theirs. We’re not really equipped to make judgments, not even of ourselves. Do I still sometimes “beat myself to death” when I appear to be failing?

Today I Pray

May I be wary of keeping my guilty role alive long after I should have left it behind. May I know the difference between regret and guilt. May I recognize that long-term guilt may infer an exaggerated idea of my own importance, as well as present self-righteousness. May God alone be my judge.

Today I Will Remember

Guilt may be pride in reverse.

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One More Day

Sometimes what we think is so impossible turns out to be possible after all.
K. O’Brien

The pure joy of imagination is that it holds no bounds. Even if we are tethered by poor health we can still believe there are better days ahead. And in truth, we can find worthwhile ways to spend our precious time and energy if we wish.

Time spent lost in thought is not wasted, for these precious moments let us remember wonderful times gone by and allow us to rehearse our role in the future. We should imagine ourselves as proud and fully capable. This may, of course, not be true, but the more we try to the better we will be able to present ourselves in public. The easier it is for us to be in public, the more often we will go out.

I am not wasting time when I daydream, for my dreams help me accept the changes in my life and allow me to practice for the future.

[bluidkiti]

June 9

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We never know how high we are 'Til we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies.
--Emily Dickinson
We are all capable of far more than we think we are. It's in the tough times, however, that we discover the depths of our strength, and it's then that we know that some power has enabled us to do what we thought we could not. Whatever we call that power, it is there for us when we need it.
To do what seems impossible, all we need to do is ask for the help we think we need. And we can look within, too, and summon our whole selves to the task at hand. With all that going for us, how can we fail? And when the tough work is over, we'll look back and know we've grown from the experience. And yes, our statures will have touched the skies.
When I am faced with a tough task, how do I respond?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I believe our concept of romantic love is irrational, impossible to fulfill, and the cause of many broken homes. No human being can maintain that rarified atmosphere of "true love." --Rita Mae Brown
What the popular media teach us about marriage and love is poor preparation for the real thing. When we enter a relationship we may be filled with a feeling of magic and excitement of new love. But that is not a good basis for a lifelong commitment. Love at first sight is no reason for marriage. Many of us, upon meeting difficulties in our relationships, said to ourselves, "Maybe it wasn't true love after all, because now I don't feel in love with my mate anymore."
Honesty and learning how to resolve difficulties provide a solid foundation for durable love. Some relationships do not survive the honesty of recovery. Sometimes the development of honest love only begins with recovery. The love that endures, the love of real intimacy, comes when we know the real person. Loyalty to our loved ones may deepen as we deal more and more with reality.
As I grow in this program, married or single, I become more able to have an enduring love.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Many of us achieve only the semblance of communication with others; what we say is often not contingent on what the other has just said, and neither of us is aware that we are not communicating. --Desy Safn-Gerard
When we don't listen fully to each other, when we don't revere the Spirit within others that's trying to talk to us, we destroy the connection that wants to be made between our Spirits. Our inner selves have messages to give and messages to receive for the good of all. Our ego selves often keep us from hearing the very words that would unravel a problem in our lives.
How hard it is, how often, to be still and to fully listen to the words, rather than the person. How much more familiar it is to filter the message with our own ongoing inner dialogue--our own ongoing continual assessment of another's personhood at the very time our higher power is trying to reach us through them.
There really are no wasted words. Messages are everywhere. We can learn to listen.
I will hear just what I need to hear today. I will open myself fully to the words.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Panic
Few situations - no matter how greatly they appear to demand it - can be bettered by us going berserk. --Codependent No More
Don't panic!
If a swimmer was crossing a great lake, then suddenly focused too heavily on the distance remaining, he might start to flounder and go under--not because he couldn't swim, but because he became overwhelmed by panic.
Panic, not the task, is the enemy.
Many of us have moments when we feel crowded and overwhelmed. We have times when we feel like we cannot possibly accomplish all that needs to be done.
We may be facing a task at work, an improvement in ourselves, or change in our family life.
For a moment, it is helpful to look forward and envision the project. It is normal, when we look ahead at what need to be done, to have moments of panic. Feel the fear, then let it go. Take our eyes off the future and the enormity of the task. If we have envisioned the goal, it will be ours. We do not have to do everything today, or at once.
Focus on today. Focus on the belief that all is well. All we need to do to reach our goal is to focus on what presents itself naturally, and in an orderly way, to us today. We shall be empowered to accomplish, peacefully, what we need to get where we want to be tomorrow.
Panic will stop this process. Trust and guided action will further it. Breathe deeply. Get peaceful. Trust. Act as guided, today.
We can get back on track by treading water until we regain our composure. Once we feel peaceful, we can begin swimming again, with confidence. Keep the focus simple, on one stroke, one movement at a time. If we can make one movement, we have progressed. If we get tired, we can float - but only if we are relaxed. Before we know it, we shall reach the shore.
Today, I will believe that all is well. I am being led, but I shall only be led one day at a time. I will focus my energy on living this day to the best of my ability. If panic arises, I will stop all activity and deal with panic as a separate issue.


I am discovering who I am with joy today! --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Believe in Life, Not Loss

Believing in life means we can trust– trust in the nature and rhythm of life with all its constant change. We believe in transformation, change, and purpose.

Believing in life means we’re not in bondage to the past. No matter what we’ve done, what decisions we’ve made, we set ourselves free to trust ourselves now. We trust what we feel, we trust what we know, we trust what we think we need to do next. Belieivng in life means we trust that the lessons we’re learning are real. They’re valuable and Divinely ordained– even when learning a lesson means feeling pain.

Believing in loss means we focus on the grief, on the pain, on the tragedy, on the inescapable reality of certain events. Belieivng in loss means we get fixated on what was taken from us, what we did wrong. We judge ourselves and our lives harshly. Believing in loss often means we stay stuck. We’re afraid to let go of a person, place, or thing that’s no longer right for us because we’re afraid to lose anything more.

Do you believe in loss? Or do you believe in life?

Believing in life means it’s okay to let go. We can trust where we’ve been. We trust where we’re going. And we’re right where we need to be now. Believe in life.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Manifest your life

Today, try this activity. Go down to the local harware store and buy a patio stone. Get one of the nice flat round ones, one that will fit into your briefcase or backpack. Take that patio stone home and look at it. Then take out a marker and start to think about one of your goals that you wrote on the list at the start of the year. Think about all that is keeping you from reaching that goal– all your fears, excuses, and prerequisites. Each time you think of a reason why you are not walking down that path, write it on the stone in marker. Keep writing until you can’t think of another reason.

Then carry the stone with you. You did write down a fear of looking ridiculous, didn’t you? Carry the stone to dinner– hold it on your lap while you eat. Hold it while you watch TV, while you go to the bathroom, in the shower, and even to bed this evening. Tomorrow, spend the day with your stone. Let it be a reminder of both your dream and your fear. Feel how rough, heavy, cumbersome it is. Makes it kind of difficult to get anything done, doesn’t it? Now, at the end of the day, sit down again with your stone. Look at all of your excuses written there. Make a conscious decision to let them go. Put down the stone– put it right next to the front door. Feel how much lighter your step is, how much easier it is to do things. Now, as you leave for your day each morning, look at the stone sitting there on the step– heavy, rough, cumbersome– and leave it there. Let life and the elements wear your fears away.

You have dreams, hopes, ambitions. All of your fears and excuses are stones, which fill your hands and weigh you down. Leave them behind. Start to manifest your dreams in your life.

God, help me let go of everything that is blocking me from fully and joyfully living my life today.

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Generosity of Spirit
Being Happy for Others

We all want to be the kind of people who are happy for others when they experience success or a cause for celebration in their lives, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes powerful, dark feelings come up at times when decorum dictates that we should be feeling the opposite. Instead of reaching out and celebrating for our loved one, we may feel the rising up of our own pain. This pain may arise because we feel jealous of our friend for having something we don’t have. It may arise because our friend’s success will lead to us losing them in some way. And it may arise for reasons we don’t yet understand. The important thing is not to brush it under the rug, but to take it seriously and look at it; suppressing it will only make it worse. At the same time, we need to be sure to find a way to congratulate our friends and celebrate their successes as if they were our own.

The struggle with being happy for others presents itself early in life. If a child wants a toy and another child has it, the child will try to get it or will break down in tears. Those primal feelings are still present in most of us, and we have to acknowledge them when they arise. At the same time, it is when we care enough for someone to let go of what we want for ourselves that we grow as people. It can be a difficult dance to find ourselves suspended between wanting the toy and throwing a party for our friend who got the toy. Yet, it is in throwing the party that we share in the joy—and, to some extent, the toy—rather than cutting ourselves out of it.

Extending ourselves to celebrate the happiness of others requires a generosity of spirit that we sometimes find only in the process of doing it. So when your best friend moves to Spain with the person you had a crush on, tend to your broken heart but throw them a going away party too. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Some of us, new in The Program, couldn’t resist telling anyone who would listen just how “terrible” we were. Just as we often exaggerated our mdest accomplishments by pride, so we exaggerated our defects through guilt. Facing about and “confessing all,” we somehow considered the widespread exposure of our sins to be true humility, considering it a great spiritual asset. Only as we grew in The Program did we realize that our theatrics and storytelling were merely forms of exhibitionism. And with that realization came the beginning of a certain amount of humility. Am I starting to become aware that I’m not so important after all?

Today I Pray

May I learn that there is a chasm of difference between real humility and the dramatic self-put-down. May I be confronted if I unconsciously demand center-stage to out-do and “out-drunk” others with my “adventrue” stories. May I be cautious that the accounts of my addictive misdeeds do not take on the epic grandeur of heroic exploits.

Today I Will Remember

I will not star in my own drunkologue (or junkologue).

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One More Day

No man is an island, entire of itself.
John Donne

It’s sometimes easy to develop a sense of aloneness. During our emotional an physical lows, we might sadly or bitterly isolate from other people because we feel so different from them. Our lives seem so much more complicated than theirs.

Usually, though, we do not choose to be completely independent of others. As we go through the motions of our day, our lives are touched by many people. They are part of the normal rhythm and flow of our experience.

And we are part of theirs. In hundreds of ways, we all support and nurture each other. We share their joys and pains because we care, because we’re human.

When I am in need, caring people surround me. I will make sure that I am available for others when they need me too.

[bluidkiti]

June 10

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Whoever I am or whatever I am doing, some kind of excellence is within my reach. --John W.Gardner
It's easy to forget how important we each are -- to our parents, to other family members, to our friends. We are in this world, even in our particular family, because we are important and necessary in the lives of others. It's easy to feel not so important though, especially when we think we're not good enough at anything we try. School or work comes easy for some. Maybe not us. Athletics come easy to others. May it's helping around the house that's easiest. Each of us is very good at some things. And it's okay to not be good at everything.
How can I show my talent today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We learn more by seeing someone play good tennis than by reading a book about how to play good tennis. --W. Timothy Gallwey
In our program we learn from each other. Most of us would rather have thought our problems through on our own or read about them without having to ask for help. Recovery requires us to break this old habit. We can no longer say at a meeting, "I had some problems this week, but I've worked them out now" or "I know what I have to do." The change for us is to ask for help from other men in this program. We need to say, "What do you think about my problem?" or "Would you be willing to talk to me for a while?"
Having a sponsor is an important way of getting to know how another man applies his program to his life. We need to select a sponsor we admire, who has learned the Steps well and who truly lives them. Then we need to spend time with our sponsor outside of meetings, perhaps while drinking a cup of coffee or going for a walk. By associating with others who are diligent about recovery, we will learn more than we could any other way.
Today, I will make personal contact with others in this program.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When we start at the center of ourselves, we discover something worthwhile extending toward the periphery of the circle. We find again some of the joy in the now, some of the peace in the here, some of the love in me and thee which go to make up the kingdom of heaven on earth. --G. F. Sear
Perhaps we have feared discovering our center; perhaps we have feared finding nothing there. The struggle to believe in ourselves, to know we have an important part to play in the circle of life, the circle encompassing all life, is a hard-fought struggle for many of us. But we are learning. We are finding treasures within ourselves. Others are helping us to find those treasures. Sharing special moments in time with loved ones and ones we are learning to love reveals many treasures.
All we have is here--now--us. We are all we ever need to be--here and now. We are, at every moment, what we need to be if only we'd trust revealing our true selves, our centers, to one another. Our centers each need that of another.
This program needs each of us for what we add to it. The worthiness of the program, of the whole circle, is enhanced by the inclusion of our centers.
I will share my center today with you.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Responsibility
Self care means taking responsibility for ourselves. Taking responsibility for ourselves includes assuming our true responsibilities to others.
Sometimes, when we begin recovery, we're worn down from feeling responsible for so many other people. Learning that we need only take responsibility for ourselves may be such a great relief that, for a time, we disown our responsibilities to others.
The goal in recovery is to find the balance: we take responsibility for ourselves, and we identify our true responsibilities to others.
This may take some sorting through, especially if we have functioned for years on distorted notions about our responsibilities to others. We may be responsible to one person as a friend or as an employee; to another person, we're responsible as an employer or as a spouse. With each person, we have certain responsibilities. When we tend to those true responsibilities, we'll find balance in our life.
We are also learning that while others aren't responsible for us, they are accountable to us in certain ways.
We can learn to discern our true responsibilities for ourselves, and to others. We can allow others to be responsible for themselves and expect them to be appropriately responsible to us.
We'll need to be gentle with ourselves while we learn.
Today, I will strive for clear thinking about my actual responsibilities to others. I will assume these responsibilities as part of taking care of myself.


Today my heart brings me to new places of giving and sharing that I have not yet experienced. I am a friend today and get great satisfaction when I put the needs of others first because I want to, not because I think I have to do so. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Enjoy Summer

Learn to enjoy summer, that wonderful warm time when everything is in full bloom.

Summer isn’t forever, but don’t ruin it by fussing. Forget about the winter just past, the autumn that lies ahead. Immerse yourself in the good times, the fullness of summertime.

We may have gotten so used to the other times, the colder times, that we’ve forgotten how to enjoy the sun, the warmth, the play times. The good times. Each moment of our lives is important. Each moment of our lives is a spiritual experience. To live fully in joy, we need to learn to enjoy the good times as well as weather the storms. Most of us are proficient at hunkering down and getting through the winters of our lives. Now it’s time to learn something different.

Take off your heavy wrap. Grab your straw hat and go bask in the sun. Tomorrow’s lessons will take care of themselves.

Today the lesson is learning to enjoy summer.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of guilt

Guilt is a rock. It lies in the pit of our stomachs and keeps us awake at night. All of our muscles work overtime just to carry it around, and yet we still hold on to it.

Yesterday, you stumbled. That was yesterday. But you also righted your wrong and vowed to do better today. So why are you still carrying that guilt around with you?

If you’re in recovery, you probably did some terrible things before you got sober. How can you ever move on? But you got sober. You made amends. What happened yesterday belongs to yesterday. Today, you can let go of your guilt and relax in the peace that comes from walking a path with heart.

Have you made a list of people you have harmed and made amends to them, as suggested in the Eighth and Ninth Steps of the Twelve Step programs? That’s an excellent way to begin clearing and releasing guilt. If you’re not in a Twelve Step program, there are other options. Most religions offer rituals to clear guilt. Sometimes, we’ve taken all these steps and we still feel guilty. What’s wrong? We’re hanging on to our guilt, and we’re being hard on ourselves.

You will find it easier to relax and flow through the experiences of your life if you let go of the weight of yesterday’s guilt.

God, today I give you all of the guilt from my past. Take it from me, and allow me to begin fresh right now. Help me make the amends I need to make, then let my guilt go.

Activity: If you’ve taken steps to make amends and clear away your legitimate guilt, and your guilt is still haunting your every move, try this: First thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, look in your mirror. Look yourself in the eye. Then say out loud seven times, “I now release all my guilt, earned and unearned.” Try this for a week. See if your guilt doesn’t disappear.

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Meeting of the Minds
Fragments of the Self

by Madisyn Taylor

We all have many fragments of self which need attention to help make our whole selves better.


Sometimes it feels as if we have many different people living inside of us, expressing themselves in voices that seem distinct from one another. There is the inner child with its wants and needs, the angry voice that expresses its opinion and probably several more as well. With all these different parts of ourselves express differing desires and needs and opinions, we may begin to feel as if we have no clarity. It is difficult to know which voices to pay attention to and which ones to ignore or dismiss. Even if we manage to move forward amidst the confusion, doubts and concerns may linger in our psyches simply because they have not been fully expressed and examined. As a result, we may have trouble being at peace with the decisions we do make.

One way to handle this dilemma is to consciously make time for a meeting of the minds within our psyche. This can be done as a guided meditation or as a journaling exercise. In both we can summon the many fragments that make up the whole of who we are and give them each a chance to speak. This can be a helpful tool in the face of a decision we need to make, and it can also be a fruitful path to take in the interest of self-exploration and self-care. When we gather the many fragments of our psyche together, the health and power of the whole is greatly increased.

We can imagine a roundtable in which we gather all the various representatives of our being, allowing them to name themselves and giving them a chance to speak. We allow each one to weigh in, fully expressing the perspective they represent, and we listen without comment. As we listen, we may be amazed at the wisdom and energy stored in these fragments of our self. This gathering brings the fragmented pieces of our psyche into a closer relationship, enabling us to move forward as a unified whole. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I least expect it, my keen addictive mind will try to divert me back toward my old ideas and old ways. My mind is expert, in fact, at planting and nourishing negative feelings within me — feeling such as envy, fear, anxiety, or guilt. The minute I spot any of these poisonous feelings rising up, I have to deal with them. If not, the more I think about them, the stronger they’ll get; the stronger they get, the more I’ll think about them — to the point of obsession. When negative feelings arise, do I “name the, claim them, an dump them…”?

Today I Pray

I should know — and may I please never forget — that a sure way to let my feelings get the best of me is to pretend they aren’t there. Like spoiled offspring, they act up when they are ignored. But also like when they are ignored. But also like offspring’s, they are here, they are mine and I am responsible for them. May I learn to pay attention to my feelings, even if sometimes I would rather make-believe they didn’t belong to me.

Today I Will Remember

Name them, claim them, dump them.

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One More Day

Pain is hard to bear….
But with patience, day by day,
Even this shall pass away.
– Theodore Tilton

When emotional or physical pain becomes unbearable, the duration of each day seems longer than twenty-four hours. Any movement is intolerable; any attempt to begin the day is met with the shrilling objections of the voice of pain.

It is at this exact moment, each time it occurs, that we are tempted to give up the fight and become invalids. Then something prods us to try just one more time — just one more day. And so we struggle, and we are amazed to discover that we have successfully met and conquered another sunrise and another sunset. The strength to go on was there all the time, deep within us.

When my pain becomes greater than i can ever remember, I must draw on my inner resources to keep going.

[bluidkiti]

June 11

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength. --A. J. Cronin
There is always something to worry about. What if it rains tomorrow on the family picnic? What if the baby gets sick and we can't go? What if we can't find a shady spot for our lunch table? Will the water be too cold for swimming? Will the boat motor conk out in the middle of the lake? What if we forget the charcoal? Or the lighter fluid?
Today, while preparing the potato salad for tomorrow's picnic, all we need to know is whether the potatoes are cool enough to peel and slice.
Our worries about tomorrow change nothing but ourselves, and they have nothing to do with what we are doing right now. Tomorrow will become today soon enough, and today is the day we have.
Which of my worries belong only to tomorrow, and should be left alone until then?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We are each so much more than what some reduce to measuring. --Karen Kaiser Clark
Our society places great emphasis on how well each person is doing. It makes us judgmental and competitive. As children we may have thought that our real value was measured by the grades we got in school or the scores of our baseball games. As grown men we continue measuring our worth by things like the size of our wages, the model of the car we drive, or even how many months or years we have in recovery.
We can't stop the measuring, but we are in a program that helps us step outside this system. We seek to know and do the will of our Higher Power, which is beyond the limitations of such measurements. Submitting our own will to our Higher Power releases us from the competition and the judgments in these games of measurement. Our loyalties are to values like honesty, respect, peace, and wholeness.
Today, I will remember that my value as a man isn't measured on a man-made scale.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
My lifetime listens to yours. --Muriel Rukeyser
Our experiences educate us to help show each other the way. Others' experiences, likewise, will help still others. We need to share our histories. And the program offers us the way. There is no greater honor we can give one another than rapt attention. We each want to be heard, to be special, to be acknowledged. And recognition may will be the balm that will heal someone's hurt today.
A new day faces us, a day filled with opportunities to really listen to someone who needs to be heard. And the surprise is that we will hear a message just right for us, where we are now. A message that may well point us in a new, better direction. Guidance is always at hand, if only we listen for it. But when we are trapped in our own narrow world of problems and confusion, we scramble whatever messages are trying to reach us. And we miss the many opportunities to make another person feel special and necessary to our lives.
My growth is enhanced every time I give my attention fully to another person. And this process is multiplied over and over and over. I will be there for someone today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Moving Forward
Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don't need to suffer with them.
It doesn't help.
It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.
Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.
Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.


Today I have the courage to look within without fear at what needs to be changed in my life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Be Honest with Yourself

What are you feeling deep down inside? Under the anger. Under the rage. Under the numb I don’t care, it doesn’t matter. Are you really feeling scared? Hurt? Abandoned? Go more deeply into yourself and your emotions than you have ever gone before. The way to joy, the way to the heart is tender, soft, gentle, and honest. The way to the heart is to be vulnerable.

You don’t have to be so brave. You don’t have to be so strong. You don’t always have to walk away with your head held high saying, I can handle this. Ive been through worse before.

Become angry if you must. Feel your rage if it’s there. Go numb once in a while, if you must. Then take a chance, and go a little deeper. Go way down deep inside. See what’s there. Take a look. Risk being vulnerable.

Love yourself and all your emotions. Be as honest with yourself as you can be. Say how you really feel.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Stop defending yourself

Do you walk around wearing a suit of armor? Often, if we were hurt as children or hurt frequently as adults, we put on a suit of emotional armor to protect us from being hurt more. We lower our visor to avoid seeing the pain and block out all hurtful sights. We pick up weapons, sharp words, manipulative behaviors, acting out– anything to help us defend ourselves against those who would hurt us again. We get used to being in battle and soon all of life is a struggle.

Stop fighting. Yes, you have been hurt. Many of us have. But when you project the characteristics of one person onto everyone you know, you don’t allow their true selves to shine through. All you can see is the limited view from your visor.

You are growing and gaining strength every day. You’re safe now. Why not put down the weapons for a little while, lift the visor on your suit of armor, and see the people around you for who they are– mostly kind, good-hearted ordinary people just like you. They have been hurt and healed, they have won and lost. They laugh and they cry. Open up to them, and allow the sharing to begin to heal you and your heart.

God, help me to lower my defenses today, to be open to the good in the people around me and to the good that I have to offer them.

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In God’s Care

“What do you think of God,” the teacher asked. After a pause, the young pupil replied, “He’s not a think, he’s a feel.”
~~Paul Frost

If our approach to God rested on how much brain power we could summon, a lot of us would be in trouble. We can’t think our way to God. We have to feel our way there. We have to need God so much, love God so much (or love the idea of God so much) that we just find ourselves in communion with God. It’s our feelings that bring us there.

Our reaching out to God usually comes as a last resort. It’s the result of finally realizing that everything else we’ve tried has failed to bring us peace of mind. It doesn’t say much for our good sense that we have a tendency to approach God only when we’re desperate, but then it isn’t intellectual power that brings us to our knees. Let’s face it, we need God, not in our head, but in our gut.

I don’t have to use my intelligence to get to God. I only have to want God in my life

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Friends
Gifts We Give Ourselves

by Madisyn Taylor

Friends give us the gift of helping us learn more about our selves while also being a mirror for the other.


Good friends enrich our lives in so many ways. Through a magical combination of similarities and differences, friends offer us the opportunity to know ourselves as we are and help us grow into who we want to be. Our similarities attract us to each other, comforting us with familiarity when we see ourselves in them. When we are drawn to those we admire, the same recognition is at work, unconsciously acknowledging that these people possess qualities that we ourselves possess. By acting as mirrors, friends help us define who we are by reflecting our selves back to us.

Friends also help us know ourselves through our differences. Differences allow us to see other options and make choices about who we want to be. Sometimes we are drawn to those who appear to be our opposites, and we learn to accept the parts of them we love and the parts of them that don’t resonate with us, thus allowing us a valuable learning experience. By expanding our understanding to include others’ experiences, friends help us accept others. By understanding when someone’s life differs from our own, we can learn about ourselves in contrast. There are times when we see in friends what we don’t like about ourselves. That mirror reflection may be hard to take, but a good friend helps us find ways we can change and supports us in that choice.

Part of the joy of friendship is the feeling that we are accepted just the way we are, with no need to change. It is a gift they give us, and one we can give back every day. Ultimately, we choose friends because they make us feel good about ourselves and life. Through tears and difficulties, friends help us find the laughter. When we find those special people who offer us that perfect combination of comfort and stimulus to grow, we are very fortunate. Friends, those wonderful companions that walk with us through life, help us define and refine who we are and who we choose to be every day. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Guilt is a cunning weapon in the armory of the addictive person which continues to lurk patiently inside each of us. We can use the weapon against ourselves in many subtle ways; it can be deftly wielded, for example, in an attempt to convince us that The Program doesn’t really work. I have to protect myself constantly against guilt an d self-accusations concerning my past. If necessary, I must constantly “re-forgive” myself, accepting myself as a mixture of good as well as bad. Am I striving for spiritual progress? Or will I settle for working less than the human impossibility of spiritual perfection?

Today I Pray

May I look inside myself now and then for any slow-burning, leftover guilt which can, when I’m unwary, damage any purpose. may I stop kicking myself and pointing our my own imperfections — all those leaser qualities which detract from the ideal and “perfect” me. May I no longer try to be unreachable, inhumanly perfect, but just spiritually whole.

Today I Will Remember

I am human — part good, part no-so-good.

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One More Day

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.
– George Eliot

Sometimes a painful ending can be the beginning of a new way of life which is a happy reality. The end of grief brings us new acceptance and balance. The end of a bad relationship might be a welcome beginning.

An ending? Or a beginning? Often the answer depends on how we choose to see it. Grown children leaving home can be a sad end, or it can be an exciting opportunity to begin living more for ourselves. A move can mean leaving old friends or meeting new ones. Almost every event in life — marriage, a new job, graduation, even a vacation — means an ending of some sort. As we face each ending, we can choose to see a new beginning.

Today, I will remember that life is made of many new beginnings.

[bluidkiti]

June 12

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The more a diamond is cut the more it sparkles. --Anonymous
There is something of value to be found even in the worst of things. Consider the oyster. When a grain of sand penetrates an oyster's shell, it irritates the oyster, making it uncomfortable. The oyster relieves the pain by coating the sand with a soothing liquid. When this liquid hardens, a pearl is formed. The very process that healed the oyster creates a precious jewel for others to cherish and admire.
The way in which we deal with our own frustrations--painful though they may be--can make a difference. Pearls can be formed from our experiences, making us wiser and stronger, or grains of sand--anger, bitterness, resentment--can remain imbedded inside us. The choice is ours.
How can I turn my irritations into pearls today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Originality is unexplored territory. You get there by carrying a canoe - you can't take a taxi. --Alan Alda
We are on an adventure trip in this program. Each of us is a wilderness that is only partly explored and mapped. We can't know exactly what we will find along the way, but we can expect to find some great and moving beauty, some spectacular experiences, as well as awesome and frightening ones, and some soft, pleasant rest spots. Any day will have a mixture of various feelings.
This program is not a map of the uncharted territory. It is a guide for survival in the wilderness. It tells us how to orient ourselves when there are no familiar landmarks and how to learn and grow from the experience. The more time we spend in this wilderness, exploring the mystery of living, the more comfortable we become with it and the greater appreciation we have for its unique beauty.
Today, I pray for the courage to explore the original person I was created to be.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of our fine doctors would be out of business. Joy is one of nature's greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal. --Catherine Ponder
Feeling joy may not come naturally to us most of the time. We may, in fact, have to act "as if" with great effort. We may not even recognize genuine joy in the beginning. A technique for finding it is living fully in the present and with gratitude for all we can see, touch, and feel.
The open and honest expression of gratitude for the presence of the ones closest to us now creates a rush within our breasts, a rush that will be shared by our friends, too. Joy is contagious. Joy is freeing. Joy brings into focus our distorted perceptions. Greeting life with joy alters every experience for us and for those we share it with.
I will bring joy wherever I go today. I will give the gift of joy to everyone I meet.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Spontaneity and Fun
Practice being spontaneous. Practice having fun.
The joy of recovery is that we finally get to experiment. We get to learn new behaviors, and we don't have to do them perfectly. We only need to find a way that works for us. We even have fun experimenting, learning what we like, and how to do what we like.
Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidity, martyrdom, and deprivation. One of the "normal" experiences many of us have been deprived of is having fun. Another one is being spontaneous. We may not have the foggiest notion what we would like to do for fun. And we may hold ourselves in check so tightly that we wouldn't allow ourselves to try something fun, anyway.
We can let ourselves go a little now and then. We can loosen up a bit. We don't have to be so stiff and rigid, so frightened about being who we are. Take some risks. Try some new activities. What would we like to do? What might we enjoy doing? Then, take another risk. Pick out a movie we'd like to see; call a friend, and invite him or her to go along. If that person says no, try someone else, or try again another time.
Decide to try something, then go through with it. Go once. Go twice. Practice having fun until fun becomes fun.
Today, I will do something just for fun. I will practice having fun until I actually enjoy it.


Today I will honor my own values and be open to change as a result of growth. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Recharge Your Battery

Rest when you’re tired. Take a break when life stales. Take time to recharge your battery.

Energy isn’t something you have– it’s something you are. To give and give, to put out without taking in, depletes your battery. It drains you, runs you down. Running on a low battery is no longer necessary, because now we know how to live differently.

Taking time to rest, renew, and refresh yourself isn’t wasted time. Recharge. Choose what energizes you. Nature. A song. The voice of a friend. A nap. A hot bath. A cup of tea. A favorite program. A movie that makes you laugh or cry. A walk. A run. A prayer. A poem. A book that speaks to your soul.

Actions that emerge from an energized source are easier, go further, accomplish more. Let your work and love come from a vital spirit.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Relaxing will help you work

Joe is a professional chef. He started working in kitchens before he was in his teens. Gradually, he worked his way up from washing dishes until he found himself running a successful catering operation. The only problem was, the more successful the business became, the less time Joe had for the rest of his life. Joe reveled in the knowledge that he was the hardest-working guy he knew. In his mind, the company existed solely because he was there.

Joe was surprised when his wife left him for someone less successful.

“How could she do that to me?” he moaned to friends. “I worked my tail off so she could have nice things and this is how she repays me?” Then one day while catering a wedding, he realized what happened. He hadn’t been present for his marriage. He had fallen victim to his own success, imprisoned by the company he had created. He took a day off. Then a weekend. Then he trained an assistant to help run the company. It cost him money at the outset, but he discovered life in the process. “I was so busy being a success,” he says, “that I didn’t realize how miserable I was.” When he took a vacation to the Southwest, his culinary instincts got the best of him and he spent half of the vacation learning new recipes, but he had fun.”For the first time in years, I was playing in the kitchen again rather than just working,” Joe says.

Today Joe has discovered the joy of balance. He no longer feels that he alone must bear the weight of the world, and is stronger for it. His business is growing and he has gotten a reputation as an innovator, largely due to things he has learned while not in the kitchen. When we’re successful, it’s difficult to take time away from our work; it feels like the success that we worked so hard for will slip away if we’re not there tending to it every moment. The truth is, we get so busy earning a living that we forget to have a life.

Take some time to see if you could spend a little less time at the office and a little more time with yourself and the ones you love. You might be pleasantly surprised at the effect a break can have on your motivation and the joy you have for what you do.

God, teach me– and help me learn– to have fun in my life, my work, and my relationships with the people I love.

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In God’s Care

When a person is concerned only with giving, there is no anxiety.
~~Gerald Jampolsky

Whatever we give away returns to us, many-fold. When we show love or understanding, when we are gentle or express genuine concern, usually the same will come right back to us. Perhaps not in kind, maybe not in ways we expected, nevertheless our gifts bear fruit.

Many of us have longed for love and security to come from others with a promise of forever; inevitably, we became anxious that, in time, that love or security would disappear. When we view life from such a narrow perspective, no amount of love can bolster our sense of worth.

How different the world looks when we unselfishly give out love rather than longingly await the love, attention, or understanding of others. We guarantee receiving the good feelings we crave every time we share those feelings with a fellow traveler.

I am in charge of what I receive from others today. I will get back what I willingly give.

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Wherever You Are
Home Is Where the Heart Is

by Madisyn Taylor

Allow HOME to be a feeling you carry inside yourself, wherever you are.


The word “home” has a wide variety of connotations. To some, home is merely a place where basic needs are addressed. To others, home is the foundation from which they draw their strength and tranquility. Still, others view home as a place inexorably linked to family. Yet all these definitions of home imply somewhere we can be ourselves and are totally accepted. There, we feel safe enough to let down our guard, peaceful enough to really relax, and loved enough to want to return day after day. However, these qualities need not be linked to a single space or any space at all. Home is where the heart is and can be the locale you live in, a community you once lived in, or the country where you plan to live someday. Or home can be a feeling you carry inside yourself, wherever you are.

The process of evolution can require you to undergo transformations that uproot you. Moving from place to place can seem to literally divide you from the foundations you have come to depend on. Since your home is so intimately tied to the memories that define you, you may feel that you are losing a vital part of yourself when you leave behind your previous house, city, state, or country. And as it may take some time before you fashion new memories, you may feel homeless even after settling into your new abode. To carry your home with you, you need only become your own foundation. Doing so is merely a matter of staying grounded and centered, and recognizing that the pleasures you enjoyed in one place will still touch your heart in another if you allow them.

Your home can be any space or state of being that fulfills you, provided you are at peace with yourself and your surroundings. A person can feel like home to you, as can seasons and activities. If you feel disconnected from what you once thought of as home, your detachment may be a signal that you are ready to move one. Simply put, you will know you have found your home when both your physical environment and energetic surroundings are in harmony with the individual you are within. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Many of us have had difficulty ridding ourselves of the ravages of guilt. In my own case, during the early days in The Program, I either misunderstood certain of the Steps, or tried to apply them too quickly and too eagerly. The result was that I increased my feelings of guilt and worthlessness, rather than freeing myself as The Steps intend. Soon, though, I became at least willing to forgive myself, and I made a new beginning. I undertook all the soul-searching and cleansing Steps in our Program as they were intended to be taken, and not from a below-ground position of crippling hate and guilt. Have I made amends to myself?

Today I Pray

May I forgive myself, as God has forgiven me. May I know that if I am hanging onto an old satchel full of guilt, then I am to following the example He has shown me. If God can forgive me — and He has demonstrated His forgiveness by leading me to this healing place — then so can I. May I not begrudge myself what He has so generously offered.

Today I Will Remember

God forgives; so must I.

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One More Day

Develop an expanding sense of wonder at the world at yourself, at God. The world will never starve for wonders — only for the want of wonder.
– Bernard S. Raskas

A crisis in our lives can make us cruel and bitter but can also cause us to do some soul-searching. Those of us who take inventory, who soul-search, may have a personal awakening to our capacity for joy and giving. Being aware of the beauty and symmetry that constantly surround us allows the horizons of our minds to expand.

As our sense of spirituality becomes whole again, we are aware of our impact upon others and upon nature.

A spiritual sense of self is important in my quest to find out who I am and what kind of person I want to be.

[bluidkiti]

June 13

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Let the gentle bush dig its root deep and spread upward to split one boulder. --Carl Sandburg
There is a fable about the sun and wind having a contest to see who can get the old man to take his coat off first. The wind blows fiercely, but the old man just pulls his coat tighter around him. Finally, the wind gives up and the sun comes out. The sun shines a steady warm light down on the old man, who soon takes his coat off.
More and better things are accomplished in this world by kindness and gentleness than by force. When we find ourselves most frustrated, it is often because we are trying to force certain things to happen. Our own patient and steady desire to grow, fed by the love and kindness of others, will not be stopped by anything or anyone. Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. It is like the gentle bush that grows through granite.
What can I gain by gentleness today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
You must fight off a "bad luck" way of thinking as if you were dealing with an invasion of hostile forces for that is precisely what you are dealing with. --Maxwell Maltz
Life is an ongoing experience with two opposing forces. One force is constantly building up, and the other is constantly tearing down. We have successes and accomplishments, and we have failures and defeats. We finally get our house in order, and it immediately begins to become disordered again.
There are forces supporting our self-esteem and forces tearing us down. Friends who wish us well, goodwill and generosity among people, and the momentum of our healthy actions are constructive forces in our lives. Destructive forces are the pull of old habits, bad luck, accidents, and negative thoughts. We must choose on which side we will put our energies. Are we men who hate ourselves, believe in bad luck and despair, and thereby join the forces that would tear us down? Or will we choose to be on the side that builds us up?
Today, by the grace of God, I will join the forces that are on my side. I will stand up for myself and my worth.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Everyday . . . life confronts us with new problems to be solved which force us to adjust our old programs accordingly.
--Dr. Ann Faraday
Facing the day straight on is occasionally difficult to do. There are those days we feel like crawling under the covers and staying there, certain that we can't handle whatever might be asked of us. Maybe today is one of those days. Perhaps we feel 12 years old, instead of 42. To consciously behave like a responsible 42-year-old is out of the question. Acting "as if" is the next best thing, the program tells us, and it is.
Acting "as if" also comes in handy when only a minor kink interferes with the day's progression. Most problems don't fit an easy solution or a familiar one. However, most problems are dispensed with by seeing them as opportunities for creative response, calmly seeking guidance and then moving ahead slowly, being aware of the effects of our actions.
Today, and every day, I will have an opportunity to think creatively and to rely on my inner guide. Instead of dreading the unfamiliar, I will be glad for it. It's moving me ever closer to understanding life's mysteries.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Hanging on to Old Relationships
We want to travel baggage free on this journey. It makes the trip easier.
Some of the baggage we can let go of is lingering feelings and unfinished business with past relationships: anger, resentments; feelings of victimization, hurt, or longing.
If we have not put closure on a relationship, if we cannot walk away in peace, we have not yet learned our lesson. That may mean we will have to have another go around with that lesson before we are ready to move on.
We may want to do a Fourth Step (a written inventory of our relationships) and a Fifth Step (an admission of our wrongs). What feelings did we leave with in a particular relationship? Are we still carrying those feelings around? Do we want the heaviness and impact of that baggage on our behavior today?
Are we still feeling victimized, rejected, or bitter about something that happened two, five, ten, or even twenty years ago?
It may be time to let it go. It may be time to open ourselves to the true lesson from that experience. It may be time to put past relationships to rest, so we are free to go on to new, more rewarding experiences.
We can choose to live in the past, or we can choose to finish our old business from the past and open ourselves to the beauty of today.
Let go of your baggage from past relationships.
Today, I will open myself to the cleansing and healing process that will put closure on yesterday and open me to the best today, and tomorrow, has to offer in my relationships.


I am open to experience my connection with God and all the people I meet on my path today. There is new joy each time I realize our sameness rather than our separateness. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Trust the Process of Growth

Be patient with yourself. It takes time to work out issues, to work through things. It takes time to learn lessons. The more important the lesson, the longer the cycle to work it out and work it through.

We may live in a technical age, but our souls aren’t technical. They’re still connected to nature. We grow and change as nature does. Learn her ways. Study her seasons and cycles, and know those same seasons and cycles are in each of us. The process of change is like planting a seed and watching it grow and bloom into a flower.

What are you trying to develop? A project? A change in yourself? Is there something new you’re learning, trying to do? Are you trying to adjust to a major change in your life? Is there an old habit you’re struggling to let go of? A love relationship or friendship you’re hoping to begin or attempting to end?

Each stage of the process of growth and change is important. From those first moments when we see the idea, or the change begins, to those long moments of nurturing and nourishing the idea, each stage counts. Is there a change in your life that’s begun, one you’ve started to notice? Are you thinking about it a lot, talking about it a lot, but not quite ready to take action? That stage is important too. You’re nurturing and nourishing the seeds of change.

It takes time for nature to change things into what they’re becoming. It takes time for things to develop. Be patient with yourself and life. Trust the process of growth.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Relax and flow

I visited the Hoover Dam in Nevada some time ago and marveled at its construction and purpose. Here was a huge structure that had been built into a canyon to harness the power of thousands of tons of moving water.

The water flows through the machinery, and the energy of the moving water is transformed into electricity that powers thousands of homes and businesses. But it wouldn’t work if you dammed up a lake, because the water has to be moving for it to have power.

The secret to the power is in the flowing.

How often we try to stifle the flow of events in our lives with control. We think that if we could only get things to go the way we want, then everything would be all right. We take the energy of the universe and bottle it up. And we kill its energy.

Let go of control.

Let the energy of life flow through and around you. You can learn to direct the flow, but you don’t need to control it. Become open to the energy that is flowing around you, and rather than trying to bottle it up, let it flow. Energy is useful only when it is flowing.

Relax and go with the flow of the universe. You’ll be better able to harness its power.

God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me let go of my fear.

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In God’s Care

Who can control his fate?
~~William Shakespeare

We often think we are in control when we’re not. For instance, the place we live, our friends, our co-workers, the amount of money we have, our spare time – how much can we really control these? How many people are in our life as a result of our own control? Were we able to control the outcome of situations we cared about?

Why, then, should we be reluctant to relinquish our questionable control to a Higher Power who knows far better how to handle our life? Questions about our work, how to spend our money, who our friends are, where we go, and what we do – these are not decisions we have to make alone. Even when we think we’re in control, we’re getting guidance from God. Acknowledging God’s presence is the surest way to accept who really is in control of our life.

Today I will exercise the greatest power I have – my decision to ask God for help.

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Coming Full Circle
A New Level of Mastery

by Madisyn Taylor

Often the reappearance of an old pattern is a sign that it has come full circle ready to be released.


Life is a circular journey through our issues and processes, and this is why things that are technically new often seem very familiar. It is also why, whenever we work to release a habit, change a pattern, or overcome a fear, we often encounter that issue one last time, even after we thought we had conquered it. Often, when this happens, we feel defeated or frustrated that after all our hard work we are still dealing with the same problem. However, the reappearance of a pattern, habit, or fear, is often a sign that we have come full circle, and that if we can maintain our resolve through one last test, we will achieve a new level of mastery in our lives.

When we come full circle, there is often the feeling that we have arrived in a familiar place, but that we ourselves are somehow different. We know that we can handle challenges that seemed insurmountable when we began our journey, and there is the feeling that we might be ready to take on a new problem, or some new aspect of the old problem. We feel empowered and courageous to have taken on the challenge of stopping a pattern, releasing a habit, or overcoming a fear, and to have succeeded. At times like these, we deserve a moment of rest and self-congratulation before we move on to the next challenge.


Coming full circle is like stepping into a clearing where, for a moment, we can see where we came from and where we are standing at the same time. Remembering that we will be tested again is important, but it’s also important to pause and take a look at the ground we’ve covered, honoring our courage, our persistence, and our achievement. Then we can begin the next leg of our circular journey with a fuller understanding of where we are coming from. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I don’t believe that The Program and Twelve Steps work because I read it in a book, or because I hear other people say so. I believe it because I see other people recovering and because I know that I, too, am recovering. No longer do I believe that I am “helpless and hopeless.” When I see the change in other people and in myself, I know that The Program works. When a television reporter once asked the philosopher Jung if he believed in God, Jung replied slowly, “I don’t believe — I know” Do I know that The Program works?

Today I Pray

Show me the happy endings, the mended lives, the reconstituted selves, the rebuilt bridges, so I will not have to accept on faith the fact that The Program works. May I see it working — for others and for me. May I be grateful for the documented reality of The Program’s success. May this certainty help me find the faith I need to follow the Twelve Steps.

Today I Will Remember

The Program works.

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One More Day

A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy.
– Guy Fawkes

Safety is important to all of us, but sometimes it is so important that we refuse to take risks. We may stay in unhealthy relationships or ignore our own or others’ bizarre behavior because we’re afraid of leaving the safety of our routine.

We become more willing, however, to take risks when things become desperate. The we might take desperate measures. We might seek counseling or file for divorce in order to rescue or end a hurting relationship. If we feel emotionally upset, we might as for professional help. That, too, involves taking a risk. These decisions don’t come lightly. There is much soul-searching involved but we’re able to make the decision when we realize that safety is sometimes more dangerous than risk.

I can make choices that are good for me, even if they threaten my safe routine.

[bluidkiti]

June 14

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Fear not that life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning. --J. H. Newman
Our fears lock us up if we let them. They can prevent us from tasting adventure, from experiencing new wonders. We are often terrified of unknowns and fret about what might happen if we try something new. We worry if new people will like us--if we'll fit in.
It is natural to be cautious about the unknown, and anything new is just that. But we can keep our caution from becoming fear by taking action, with the faith that we never encounter anything we can't handle in some way.
Unknowns are merely joys we haven't met. We hold the keys to our own cages and can free ourselves when we use our courage and inner strength to overcome our fears.
What new joy can I discover beneath my fear today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.
--Max Lerner
When we consider all of the troubles and crises in our lives and all of the scrapes we've gotten into, we might feel overwhelmed. With what we have gone through, it seems miraculous for many of us to be here today. When we stop feeling sorry for ourselves and when we stop complaining about the unfairness of it all, we may get a new insight: "I have survived!"
We see the strength and persistence, which brought us through the toughest times we have known. Even when some of us did not know it, we were being carried along by our Higher Power. We can draw strength from that knowledge. We can remind ourselves today that, knowing what we have lived through with the help of our Higher Power, we can deal with anything to come.
I am grateful to my Higher Power for help in surviving the hard times in life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
All of us have unique talents and gifts. No obstacle, be it physical, mental or emotional, has the power to destroy our innate creative energies. --Liane Cordes
Believing this fully is difficult at times; for some of us, most of the time. But it is true. What each of us can contribute to the world is unlike every other contribution. Each talent is slightly different from every other talent. And they are all needed. We are all needed.
Creativity--any kind--writing, photography, cooking, child care, weaving, managing, woodworking--nourishes the self that feels isolated and worthless. And as the self is nourished, it grows; it recovers.
Recovery means changing our lifestyle. It means reaching out to others and being there for one another. It means rejoining the human race by giving of ourselves. Our talents are the gifts the human race awaits, needs, in fact. Do we know our talents?
I will search out my secret dreams today. In them lie my talents. I will develop them. Help awaits me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Timing
When the time is right, child. When the time is right. How often have we heard those words - from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power?
We want things so badly - that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change.
So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously, wondering all the while: When will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then?
We try to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don't hold the answers. The answers come from God. If we listen closely, we'll hear them. When the time is right, child. When the time is right.
Be happy now.
Today, I will relax. I am being prepared. I can let go of timing. I can stop manipulating outcomes. Good things will happen when the time is right, and they will happen naturally.


Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Learn the Power of Respect

I watched as my journey unfolded this spring. Each place I visited gave me a lesson. People would show up at the right time and place with exactly the words I needed to hear. Sometimes the lesson would be announced loudly, clearly. Sometimes an awareness would surface softly when I least expected it, when I was beginning to wonder if any lesson or purpose was there at all. Everything I saw and experienced ultimately reinforced my trust in God, the universe, and the power of my heart to lead me on. After all, I had taken this trip on just a moment’s notice with no itinerary, and a magical adventure had unfolded. By the time the journey ended and I pulled into the driveway at home, I had learned more than just to trust the process, I had learned to respect it.

Do more than trust the process, the journey you’re on. Become so awestruck by it that you respect it,too. Respect your feelings and the timely manner in which they surface, heal, and lead you into new discoveries. Respect your experiences, the places you’ve been, the scenarios you’ve been through. Respect the way you’ve gained gold and jewels, the treasures of the soul, from each one.

Respect the darker moments, the more difficult times when you’re uncertain and don’t know what to do next. Respect the timing as your life and journey unfolds. Don’t murmur about why such and such has to be the way it is. Don’t limit how your growth can happen.

Learn to respect the path of others. Learn to respect your own.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Your attitude is contagious

“I like skydiving with Todd,” Pat said. “He’s got such a good attitude. When you’re in the air with him, no matter what happens, you just get the feeling that everything’s okay.”

Being relaxed is contagious. Just as someone who’s miserable, frightened, and negative can affect the people around him or her, being relaxed, clear, and humbly confident can affect the people we touch,too. Have you ever known anyone like that– someone with a sense of humor, someone who’s surrendered, full of joy, and at peace with himself or herself? This is someone who not only knows things are going to be okay– that person knows things are okay now.

Today, if you are going to spread anything, let it be joy and goodwill.

God, help me lighten up. Make my joy contagious.

Activity: Today, watch yourself as you go through your day. If you were a neutral observer of yourself, how would you describe yourself? What words would you use? Which words would you like to use to describe yourself? Watch your interactions with other people– people you know and strangers, such as clerks in stores and banks. Don’t judge yourself, just observe. Awareness is the key. Become aware of who you are, how you respond to other people, and how they react to you. Decide what attitude you’d like to share with the people in your world.

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In God’s Care

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.
~~John Berry

In time we’ve come to understand that we are only responsible for ourselves. Many of us have had to rediscover this many times. How often we’ve fooled ourselves into thinking that we know what’s best for others, better even than they know for themselves. Perhaps the most meaningful lesson any of us has learned is that every person’s perspective has value and validity for that person. When we withdrow our opinions as to who people should be, we loosen our grasp and give ourselves the opportunity to know people for who they are. We are then free to truly know ourselves and share what we learn with others.

Holding tightly to the past – the known – can shut us off from God’s invitations to grow. Our openness to the unfamiliar, whether ideas or people or new opportunities, will enrich us imeasurably.

I will loosen my grip today and enjoy people for who they are. I will regard all that is new and unfamiliar as God’s invitations to grow.

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Providing Support
Fathers

by Madisyn Taylor

In a time when the sacred feminine is being honored strongly, let's not forget fathers.


The idea of fatherhood is both personal and universal. We all have ideal concepts surrounding fatherhood, and we also have our real fathers—fathers who were there or not there for us, fathers who provided financial support for our families or failed to do so, fathers who loved or neglected us, fathers who were our role models or gave us someone to rebel against. Our father may have been there for us sometimes and not there for us at other times. The process of reconciling the ideal father that resides in our minds with the father that we actually have is a fertile one that can teach us a great deal about ourselves.

Our relationship with our father will often affect our relationships with the other men who will come into our lives. You may have learned to behave and think in certain ways because those were the ways that your father acted and thought. Certain talents that you possess may have been passed down to you by your father. There also may be personal issues that you inherited by virtue of who your father is. Understanding how your relationship with your father has influenced you can help you better understand yourself and the life that you have created.

In a time when mothers, the sacred feminine, and female energy are being honored, it is important not to forget the importance of fathers. Father energy and mother energy are the two complementary energies necessary to bring a healthy human being to fruition in the world. Many of the ideas surrounding fathers are changing in the wake of more modern parenting styles and the more egalitarian roles that are evolving between the sexes. More men are embodying the mother energy these days, and a woman can provide father energy for her children. Either way, we can all benefit from thinking about our fathers and how they have influenced who we’ve become and the ways that we walk through this world. Let us remember to honor our fathers. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Refection For The Day

Somewhere along the lines as we become more involved in The Program, we reach a sharp awareness of the growth-value of honesty and condor. When this happens, on of the first things we’re able to admit is that our past behavior has been far from sane or even reasonable. As soon as we can make this admission — without shame or embarrassment — we find still another dimension of freedom. In my gradual recovery, am I expectant that life will become richer and even more serene?

Today I Pray

May I know, even as I take that mighty First Step, which may be the first really honest move I have made in a long time, that honesty takes practice. My old, deluded, head-tripping self is as different from the honest self that I must become as night is from day. May I realize that it will take more than just one gray dawn to change me.

Today I Will Remember

Honesty takes practice.

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One More Day

Do not sit long with a sad friend, When you go to a garden, do you look at the flowers? Spend more time with roses and jasmines.
– Jelahuddin Rumi

Sometimes we slip over the boundary line of a close friendship. Up to that point, it may have been a real union, a true meeting of the minds. But then we might not only share our thoughts and our problems, but that on each other’s problems as if they were our own. We may become obsessed with finding answers for our friends.

Just as we don’t focus on the weeds in our garden, we can’t see only the negative aspects of our friends’ lives. We can be supportive, but we serve our friends and ourselves best when we let them confront their own problems.

I will remember that friends can comfort each other, but cannot carry the other’s burdens.

[bluidkiti]

June 15

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Bad moments, like good ones, tend to be grouped together. --Edna O'Brien
Once in a while, we have days when we think the whole world is against us. A parent has reprimanded us, a brother broke our new game, or the teacher at school disciplined the whole class. We sometimes let our thoughts center on a cluster of bad moments and forget the good moments of the day.
We shouldn't forget about the two ducks we fed part of our sandwich to, the friend who made us laugh, or the gym teacher who praised the whole class. Deciding to think about these good moments can allow our spirits to rise and make the bad moments fade away.
After all, if life were all good moments, we would take them for granted. Let us accept the bad ones gratefully, then, as opportunities to appreciate the good.
What good moments can I remember right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A father is a thousand schoolmasters. --Louis Nizer
We carry our fathers within us in ways we may not notice. When we do notice this in our thoughts and actions, we can use this relationship as a source of strength. When we hear a critical mental message saying we didn't perform well enough, is it a father's voice? When we feel a sense of strength and peace, are we in touch with our childhood knowledge of fatherly love? When we doubt our ability to get along with any woman, are we relying on what we learned in our childhood homes?
Perhaps we can recast our father-son relationship in adult terms. Were our fathers too removed from our lives for us to know them? Maybe we can see now that a father's love was there but was overshadowed by the demands of survival or by a misguided life. If we are forever seeking our fathers' approval, we may need to find the ways in which they are truly human and imperfect like us. Making peace with them - whether face to face or in the memory of a relationship - empowers us with their strengths and grants us the adulthood we deserve.
I will make peace with my father in my mind, and his strength and that of his father will be a well-spring, in my life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
For many years I was so flexible I didn't know who I was, and now that I'm discovering who I am, I think "OK, I know where I stand on that issue. Now on to the next one." But I have to remind myself that all issues are interrelated--no one is separate.
--Kathleen Casey Theisen
Today flows from yesterday, the day before, the day before that. Tomorrow repeats the pattern. What we are given on any one day will have its beginning in the past and its finale in the future. No incident is isolated entirely; no issue is self-contained.
Maturity is being able to let go of outgrown attitudes, stifling opinions, no matter how good and right they were at one time. Our egos often get too attached to some of our opinions, and new ideas can't filter in. Some will try to get our attention today. We are ready for new growth. The choice not to hamper it is ours to make.
The opinions we held certain yesterday may not be adequate to the problems of today. They need not be. They served us well. They are not for naught.
Today's issues need today's fresh responses. I will be unafraid. Today flows from yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. Tomorrow follows suit.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Competition Between Martyrs
"Yes, I know your spouse is an alcoholic, but my son is an alcoholic, and that's different. That's worse!"
My pain is greater than yours!
What an easy trap that can be for us. We are out to show others how victimized we have been, how much we hurt, how unfair life is, and what a tremendous martyr we are. And we won't be happy until we do!
We don't need to prove our pain and suffering to anyone. We know we have been in pain. We know we have suffered. Most of us have been legitimately victimized. Many of us have had difficult, painful lessons to learn.
The goal in recovery is not to show others how much we hurt or have hurt. The goal is to stop our pain, and to share that solution with others.
If someone begins trying to prove to us how much he or she hurts, we can say simply, "It sounds like you've been hurt." Maybe all that person is looking for is validation of his or her pain.
If we find ourselves trying to prove to someone how much we've been hurt or if we try to top someone else's pain, we may want to stop and figure out what's going on. Do we need to recognize how much we've hurt or are hurting?
There is no particular award or reward for suffering, as many of us tricked ourselves into believing in the height of our codependency. The reward is learning to stop the pain and move into joy, peace, and fulfillment.
That is the gift of recovery, and it is equally available to each of us, even if our pain was greater, or less, than someone else's.
God, help me be grateful for all my lessons, even the ones that caused me the most pain and suffering. Help me learn what I need to learn, so I can stop the pain in my life. Help me focus on the goal of recovery, rather than the pain that motivated me into it.


It is exciting to know I am in charge of my life today. God gives me all the faith and courage I need to be present and aware in each moment and the wisdom to see what needs to be done. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

It’s Okay to Not Know

Sometimes we don’t know what we want, what’s next, or what we think our lives will look like down the road. That’s okay. If the answer is I don’t know, then say it. Say it clearly. And be at peace with not knowing.

Sometimes the reason we don’t know is that what’s coming is going to be very different from anything we’ve experienced before. Even if we knew, we couldn’t relax to it because it’s that new and that different. It’s a surprise.

Sometimes the reason we don’t know is that it would be too difficult, too confusing for us right now. It would take us out of the present moment, cause us to worry and fuss about how we could control it or what we have to do to make it happen. Knowing would make us afraid. Put us on overload. Take us away from now.

Sometimes our souls know, but it’s just not time for our conscious minds to know yet. Sometimes knowing would take us out of the very experience we need to go through to discover the answer we’re looking for. And sometimes the process of learning to trust, the process of going through an experience and coming to trust that we will ultimately discover our own truth, is more important than knowing.

The process of moving from what we don’t know to what we are to learn is a process that can be trusted. It’s how we grow and change. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to let ourselves move into knowing. The lesson is trusting that we’ll know when it’s time.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Live in harmony

When I began practicing aikido– a martial art based on nonresistance and harmony– I discovered how much resistance I still had. The more I tried to relax and practice, the more resistance I experienced. I lived, moved, breathed, worked, lived, and loved from a place that was not relaxed.

My immediate reaction to any feeling I had was, “Oh no. I can’t feel that.”

My first reaction to any problem that arose was, “No, this can’t be taking place.”

If someone disagreed with me, I responded with an attack or by trying to force my will.

And if I had a task to do, I prepared myself by getting tense and afraid.

One of the biggest challenges and biggest rewards we can discover in our lives is to live in harmony with ourselves and the people in our world. We do this by learning to tell oursleves, “Just relax.”

From that relaxed place, which some call surrender, we’ll tap into our true power. We’ll know how to deal with our feelings. We’ll be guided into what to do next.

God, show me the areas of my life where I’m in resistance. Help me let go and learn to consciously relax as I go through my life.

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Day By Day

Being different

Some of us feel so different that we think no person or group could help us or even understand us. We feel alone and isolated. Whatever these differences are they can be lessened by concentrating on the purpose common to us all: we are learning to live a life free of alcohol or other drugs by connecting with a power greater than ourselves.

Our Higher Power does not want us to be alone. It would help if we would accept that we are all more alike than defferent. It would help if we could recognize the love that is available to us in our brothers and sisters. Are we looking for what we have in common, or are we looking for ways to be alone and different?

Do I realize that our common purpose can outweigh all differences?

Higher Power help me feel connected by looking for what I share with my fellow members.

Today I will overlook all differences or look for what we share in…

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In God’s Care

There is nothing the body suffers the soul may not profit by.
~~George Meredith

Adversity comes in many forms, and it is sure to come to everyone. This might seem unfair to those of us who are recovering and trying to live our faith. But it helps us to know there is some benefit in everything we experience.

God’s help is always available to us, but sometimes it seems we seek God’s help only when we are in physical or emotional pain. When we were in the grips of our addictions, we thought nothing good could come from the suffering. Yet, it is common to hear our friends in the program say how grateful they are for the experience because it brought them to where they are now. God always shows us the way out of adversity and makes it an occasion for growth – if we are willing to listen to God.

Adversity that comes my way can be an opportunity to learn.

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Giving Away Power
Repressing the Inner Voice

by Madisyn Taylor

We can avoid giving away our power on a daily basis by listening to our own voice of knowing.


In many ways, we are taught from the time we are children to give away our power to others. When we were told to kiss and hug relatives or friends of the family when we didn’t want to, for example, we were learning to override our inner sense of knowing and our right to determine for ourselves what we want to do. This repression continued, most likely, in many experiences at school and in situations at work. At this point, we may not even know how to hold on to our power, because giving it away is so automatic and ingrained.

To some degree, giving our energy to other people is simply part of the social contract, and we feel that we have to do it in order to survive. It is possible to exchange energy in a way that preserves our inner integrity and stability. This begins in a small way: by listening to the voice that continues to let us know what we want, no matter how many times we override its messages.

Other examples of how we give away our power are buying into trends, letting other people always make decisions for us, not voting, and not voicing an opinion when an inappropriate joke is made. But with not giving our power away we must also be aware of the opposite side, which is standing in our power but being aggressive. Being aggressive is a form of fear, and the remedy is to let our inner balance come back into play.
As we build a relationship with our power, and follow it, we begin to see that we don’t always have to do what we’re being asked to do by others, and we don’t have to jump on every trend. All we have to do is have the confidence to listen to our own voice and let it guide us as we make our own decisions in life and remember the necessity for balance. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Learning how to live in peace, partnership and brotherhood — with all men and women — is a fascinating and often very moving adventure. But each of us in The Program has found that we’re not able to make much headway in our new adventure of living until we first take the time to make an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage we’ve left in our wake. Have I made a list of all persons I have harmed, as Step Eight suggests, and become willing to make amends to them all?

Today I Pray

May God give me the honesty I need, not only to look inside myself and discover what is really there, but to see the ways that my sick and irresponsible behavior has affected those around me. May I understand that my addiction is not — as I used to think — a loner’s disease, that, no matter how alone I felt, my lies and fabrications spread our around me in widening circles of hurt.

Today I Will Remember

Lies spread to infinity.

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One More Day

Not the power to remember, but the power to forget is a necessary condition for our existence.
– Sholem Asch

To live happily in a relationship we can not repeatedly dredge up the past, using it as a brickbat to pound another human being into submission. Yet we all have a tendency to do just that. “I told you so,” and “You should have listened when I gave you advice,” and “You were wrong” are phrases we may catch ourselves uttering.

We can learn to give up that final piece of control, that part which attempts to manipulate another human being with guilt. We can’t change another human being. Our willingness to forgive errors, large and small, will mark our own personal growth. Forgiveness is in our own self-interest; we aren’t free until we forgive.

Today, I will let go of one grudge. As I grow in understanding, I will grow in forgiveness.