I'm the disease of addiction...

[MajestyJo]

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m the DISEASE OF ADDICTION – cunning, baffling and powerful (as well as patient). THAT’S ME!

I have killed millions and I’m pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I’m your friend and lover. I have, given you comfort, have I not? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me? I was there. I love to make you hurt; I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. In fact, you cannot feel anything at all.

This is true glory…

I will give you, instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I’ve been there for you always, when things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said, “You didn’t deserve these good things.” I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all good things in your life. People don’t take ME seriously. They take STROKES and HEART ATTACKS seriously, DIABETES, even HEPATITIS they don’t take seriously. Fools that they are, they don’t know that without my help these things would not be made possible.I’m such a hated DISEASE and yet I don’t come uninvited. YOU CHOOSE to have me. So may have chosen over reality and peace. More that you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 STEP PROGRAM. Your’ PROGRAM, your’ MEETINGS, your’ HIGHER POWER ALL WEAKEN ME and I can’t function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie there quietly. You don’t see me but I am growing…BIGGER than ever. When YOU ONLY EXIST, I MAY LIVE, WHEN YOU LIVE, I ONLY EXIST, But I am here … and until we meet again, if we ever meet again, I wish you DEATH and SUFFERING.THIS IS FROM AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE.

posted by GIna (a friend of mine from CA)

posted in 2004

[MajestyJo]

The Devil's Playground

I use to laugh I use to play
With an authentic wonderment
Embracing life each day
There was so much innocence
My burden was light
No offenses to my senses
Colors were so bright
But then I grew older
And the child inside
Assaulted by a hard world
Seemed to run and hide
When this happened
I felt an empty void within
No light no laughter
But a dark pit I fell in
Depressive thoughts tormented
Attacking my brain
I just wanted to sleep
sleep it away
Desperate for diversions
Anything would do
If it will numb this pain
I’m now going through
I met up with others
My homeboys in the hood
We seemed to connect
They said they understood
We hooked up daily
Unbeknownst to me
(The playground of the devil)
Where misery loves company
I smoked pot habitually- inhaling
Absorbing it dry
Soon bored by the results
I needed a new high
So I chased down connections
Straying far from my home
**(IGNORING MY BELLS BEEPEN
WARNING DANGER ZONE)****
Thugs spotted me cash
Upfront, real nice guys
**(IGNORING MY BELLS BEEPEN
IT WAS ALL A PACK OF LIES)! ****
Forsaking everything
Now a duel monkey on my back
In debited to dealers, free basing crack
And then upon my foreboding
Ongoing bed of Fear
I called out to God!! Take away my fear
Instead I landed in dry out
To FACE all my FEAR
My head started to clear up
And the fog started to go
I thought about the devil’s tactics
Coz He speaks what he knows:
"Quick fixes – fast money-
coke up the nose"
It’s true what they say
You do reap what you sow
It's a one way ticket to hell
free basing & snorting blow
In the devil’s playground
You think you know the rules
But this is where you find out
You’re just another used fool!
Exploited for unrighteousness
Being deceived isn’t cool
When the devil is your teacher in
"Chain and bondage School"
Now I look to my family
The ones who truly love me
Like Angels along the sidelines
Beacons of light believing in me
And every time I get down
Thoughts depress and make me sad
I remember the reflection in the eyes of mom& dad
They give back a light of what is truly real
(MY BELLS BEEPEN LOUDLY NOW
THIS IS THE REAL DEAL)
Only Love holds the power
The devil knows this too!
But he isn’t going to reveal
this awesome truth to you.
He invests is your weakness’
Although he'll never tell
So you’ll keep drinking
From his empty well
But love invents she's triumph
Courageously challenges us on
So we can sing a new and hope filled song~
So the moral of my story
In case you haven't figured it out
There are no diversions & shortcut friends
Love is always lived out~

poetprose 2004

[MajestyJo]

The disease of addiction takes many forms. It is no respecter of persons and knows no limits or boundaries.

No matter what the substance, it all leads to the same soul sickness. It is a continuous journey, a daily reprieve, and a grace which has given me the power to do for me what I could never do for myself.

When I surrendered and asked for help, I was empowered to do what I needed to do for myself.

This is a just for today program. All I have to do is deal with one day's feeling, thoughts, actions, situations, etc.