looking for help - Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

eric · 02-01-2014, 10:35 AM

I would really like to here from other's who are struggling with retirement. I am going to 5 meetings a week and pray everyday. It would be great to hear from someone who could share there strength and hope
Thanks

yukonm · 02-01-2014, 12:05 PM

Hi Eric,
Welcome to our community. I am so glad that you found us. Please continue to come and share.
My situation is not identical to yours but similar in that I relocated to a different state in May and have not worked since I arrived here. I worked full-time before the move. One of the first things I did when I moved here is find an AA meeting and then a church home.
At the meetings I introduced myself and after the meetings I got telephone numbers from some of the women. During the week, I called those numbers and in doing so developed a circle of women in recovery for support and encouragement. I now have a group of women and we talk to each other everyday as well as do things outside the meetings like go to a movie, or lunch or hanging out at the library. Sometimes 2 or three of us will just hang out together at one of our homes and share about what is going on with us. I attend meetings on Mon, Tues and Friday evenings.
I also joined one of the women's ministries at church. Every now and then we have a luncheon and are planning a trip soon. I go to two worship services and Bible school on Sundays and Bible study on Wednesday evening.
I don't know if you have any hobbies but now would be a good time to explore a passion you never had time for when you were working. Also, in the past, I have found that hospitals need volunteers for things like delivering patient mail....which is great because they love to see you coming, or holding babies in the premie unit.
All I know is that I stay pretty busy...oh forgot to mention that I also renewed a past relationship. Finding balance is my greatest challenge now.
I hope some of this has helped and I'm sure others will be around soon with more ideas. Again, welcome!!

LookingOut · 02-01-2014, 03:56 PM

Welcome to the site. I think yukonm has offered some great ideas. Take up a hobby or some hobbies for yourself and find a way to be of service to others. I am a stay at home mom, so sometimes I have those feelings of low self worth. Remind yourself that all work done for God's kingdom is work that will pay off in heavenly treasures. You don't have to be paid money for your work to be worth while.

God tells us to do all things as unto the Lord. So when you clean house, clean for Him. Yard work--for Him. Volunteer work--for Him.

Then, everything you do IS worth while.

Best of luck and I hope you lose all anxiety over your retirement and learn to be at ease and rest in the Lord!

eric · 02-01-2014, 06:13 PM

Thank you

schell81208 · 02-02-2014, 12:42 AM

hi Eric nice to see you joined us here and reached out for support....i am not retired per se..but have been on disability for several years...have had some part time jobs from time to time...currently nothing in over a year and half...i agree with the above ideas of looking for your identity without work....what i mean is it seems that when i meet someone their first question is what do you do? That bugs me...because what I "do" for a job is not who I am or what I enjoy....retirement is that process of learning to disconnect from" your perception of who you were in the work world" and truly finding your real self with all this new free time...which can seem boring and endless....an empty place with nothing to fill that void....in recovery it may be especially hard...i know you did say you attend lots of meetings that is great and great way to fellowship and go out for coffee or lunch and such....recovery is great to be a part of....i have been reworking the steps...step four now...it amazes me how much I procrastinate! It always seems there is something more important to do...rather than putting recovery first! The longer I go without working the more comfort I find in doing what i have always loved to do...the library...lots of book reading...I also started volunteering to foster kittens for a no kill shelter...i get so much joy out of doing that! I have more time for meditation in the morning and daily readings....life is actually so much more meaningful today beyond what I thought...I used to work two jobs at a time...busy busy making money...our life moves on day by day and just for today may you find joy in just being! Peace to you, Schell

MajestyJo · 02-02-2014, 02:25 AM

Thanks for sharing Eric. I got involved in service and that is one of the reasons I come to this site. I also got a hobby, bridge and I fell in love with the game Bejewelled and advanced up to 3. It is just a fun thing I do, but at one time, I had to pray on it, because I became addicted. It was about balance.

Making healthy choices, exercise, good food, good company, meditation, and working the program. It is one day at a time, I have always considered myself a work in progress.

It was difficult to being alone with me. I had to get comfortable for the quiet and let go of the edge I use to walk on. No more extreme highs and lows, /\/\/\/\ , but balance ~~~~~ and living life on life's terms.

aasavedme · 02-04-2014, 08:59 AM

Hello Eric,

It never really occurred to me that a man could struggle with retirement, but when I look back and think about that now, I did the same thing. Retirement gave me more time to drink, and advance my disease of alcoholism, to the point where "final retirement" was imminent.

My advice in this question is to put all the effort that you put into your former job into working on your recovery, and the rest will come naturally. Read the promises.

I begin each day with the recovery readings, and then I let the day happen.

Now, 4+ years into this new way of life, I can look back, and try to figure out when I had time to go to work.

Like sobriety, retirement is a gift from God. I feel so blessed and privileged that I don't have to go to "work" anymore.

Chance · 02-04-2014, 07:18 PM

Welcome Eric,

I am disabled and live with my Dog. I don't get human contact but maybe 5 times a week from my friend Doug who lives two doors down. All the meetings are here on--line and what I can do. I get really squirrely in the head from being alone but try to stay in contact as much as I can.

Just wanted to welcome you to our family!

02-01-2014, 10:35 AM	#1
eric Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 10	looking for help I would really like to here from other's who are struggling with retirement. I am going to 5 meetings a week and pray everyday. It would be great to hear from someone who could share there strength and hope Thanks

02-01-2014, 12:05 PM	#2
yukonm Administrator Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 5,148	Hi Eric, Welcome to our community. I am so glad that you found us. Please continue to come and share. My situation is not identical to yours but similar in that I relocated to a different state in May and have not worked since I arrived here. I worked full-time before the move. One of the first things I did when I moved here is find an AA meeting and then a church home. At the meetings I introduced myself and after the meetings I got telephone numbers from some of the women. During the week, I called those numbers and in doing so developed a circle of women in recovery for support and encouragement. I now have a group of women and we talk to each other everyday as well as do things outside the meetings like go to a movie, or lunch or hanging out at the library. Sometimes 2 or three of us will just hang out together at one of our homes and share about what is going on with us. I attend meetings on Mon, Tues and Friday evenings. I also joined one of the women's ministries at church. Every now and then we have a luncheon and are planning a trip soon. I go to two worship services and Bible school on Sundays and Bible study on Wednesday evening. I don't know if you have any hobbies but now would be a good time to explore a passion you never had time for when you were working. Also, in the past, I have found that hospitals need volunteers for things like delivering patient mail....which is great because they love to see you coming, or holding babies in the premie unit. All I know is that I stay pretty busy...oh forgot to mention that I also renewed a past relationship. Finding balance is my greatest challenge now. I hope some of this has helped and I'm sure others will be around soon with more ideas. Again, welcome!! __________________ August 21, 2007 One Day At A Time

02-01-2014, 03:56 PM	#3
LookingOut Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Western PA Posts: 1,160	Welcome to the site. I think yukonm has offered some great ideas. Take up a hobby or some hobbies for yourself and find a way to be of service to others. I am a stay at home mom, so sometimes I have those feelings of low self worth. Remind yourself that all work done for God's kingdom is work that will pay off in heavenly treasures. You don't have to be paid money for your work to be worth while. God tells us to do all things as unto the Lord. So when you clean house, clean for Him. Yard work--for Him. Volunteer work--for Him. Then, everything you do IS worth while. Best of luck and I hope you lose all anxiety over your retirement and learn to be at ease and rest in the Lord! __________________ 3/9/2015

02-02-2014, 02:25 AM	#6
MajestyJo Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Hamilton, ON Posts: 25,078	Thanks for sharing Eric. I got involved in service and that is one of the reasons I come to this site. I also got a hobby, bridge and I fell in love with the game Bejewelled and advanced up to 3. It is just a fun thing I do, but at one time, I had to pray on it, because I became addicted. It was about balance. Making healthy choices, exercise, good food, good company, meditation, and working the program. It is one day at a time, I have always considered myself a work in progress. It was difficult to being alone with me. I had to get comfortable for the quiet and let go of the edge I use to walk on. No more extreme highs and lows, /\/\/\/\ , but balance ~~~~~ and living life on life's terms. __________________ Love always, Jo I share because I care.

02-01-2014, 06:13 PM	#4
eric Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 10	Thank you

02-02-2014, 12:42 AM	#5
schell81208 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Cary, IL Posts: 28	hi Eric nice to see you joined us here and reached out for support....i am not retired per se..but have been on disability for several years...have had some part time jobs from time to time...currently nothing in over a year and half...i agree with the above ideas of looking for your identity without work....what i mean is it seems that when i meet someone their first question is what do you do? That bugs me...because what I "do" for a job is not who I am or what I enjoy....retirement is that process of learning to disconnect from" your perception of who you were in the work world" and truly finding your real self with all this new free time...which can seem boring and endless....an empty place with nothing to fill that void....in recovery it may be especially hard...i know you did say you attend lots of meetings that is great and great way to fellowship and go out for coffee or lunch and such....recovery is great to be a part of....i have been reworking the steps...step four now...it amazes me how much I procrastinate! It always seems there is something more important to do...rather than putting recovery first! The longer I go without working the more comfort I find in doing what i have always loved to do...the library...lots of book reading...I also started volunteering to foster kittens for a no kill shelter...i get so much joy out of doing that! I have more time for meditation in the morning and daily readings....life is actually so much more meaningful today beyond what I thought...I used to work two jobs at a time...busy busy making money...our life moves on day by day and just for today may you find joy in just being! Peace to you, Schell

02-04-2014, 08:59 AM	#7
aasavedme Grateful Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Lockport, NY Posts: 7	Hello Eric, It never really occurred to me that a man could struggle with retirement, but when I look back and think about that now, I did the same thing. Retirement gave me more time to drink, and advance my disease of alcoholism, to the point where "final retirement" was imminent. My advice in this question is to put all the effort that you put into your former job into working on your recovery, and the rest will come naturally. Read the promises. I begin each day with the recovery readings, and then I let the day happen. Now, 4+ years into this new way of life, I can look back, and try to figure out when I had time to go to work. Like sobriety, retirement is a gift from God. I feel so blessed and privileged that I don't have to go to "work" anymore.

02-04-2014, 07:18 PM	#8
Chance Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 231	Welcome Eric, I am disabled and live with my Dog. I don't get human contact but maybe 5 times a week from my friend Doug who lives two doors down. All the meetings are here on--line and what I can do. I get really squirrely in the head from being alone but try to stay in contact as much as I can. Just wanted to welcome you to our family!

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