Daily Recovery Readings - December 20

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December 20

Daily Reflections

THE REWARDS OF GIVING

This is indeed the kind of giving that actually demands
nothing. He does not expect his brother sufferer to pay
him, or even to love him. And then he discovers that by
the divine paradox of this kind of giving he has found
his own reward, whether his brother has yet received
anything or not.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 109

Through experience with Twelfth Step work, I came to
understand the rewards of giving that demands nothing in
return. At first I expected recovery in others, but I
soon learned that this did not happen. Once I acquired
the humility to accept the fact that every Twelfth Step
call was not going to result in a success, then I was
open to receive the rewards of selfless giving.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Our faith should control the whole of our life. We
alcoholics were living a divided life. We had to find a
way to make it whole. When we were drinking, our lives
were made up of a lot of scattered and unrelated pieces.
We must pick up our lives and put them back together
again. We do it by recovering a faith in a Divine
Principle in the universe which hold us together and
holds the whole universe together and gives it meaning
and purpose. We surrender our disorganized lives to that
Power, we get into harmony with the Divine Spirit, and
our lives are made whole again. Is my life whole again?

Meditation For The Day

Avoid fear as you would a plague. Fear, even the smallest
fear, is a hacking at the cords of faith that bind you to
God. However small the fraying, in time those cords will
wear thin, and then one disappointment or shock will make
them snap. But for the little fears, the cords of faith
would have held firm. Avoid depression, which is allied to
fear. Remember that all fear is disloyalty to God. It is a
denial of His care and protection.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may have such trust in God today that I will
not fear anything too greatly. I pray that I may have
assurance that God will take care of me in the long run.

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As Bill Sees It

Give Thanks, p.266

Though I still find it difficult to accept today's pain and anxiety
with any great degree of serenity--as those more advanced in the
spiritual life seem able to do--I can give thanks for present pain
nevertheless.

I find the willingness to do this by contemplating the lessons
learned from past suffering--lessons which have led to the
blessings I now enjoy. I can remember how the agonies of
alcoholism, the pain of rebellion and thwarted pride, have often
led me to God's grace, and so to a new freedom.

Grapevine, March 1962

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Walk In Dry Places

Returning to Basics
Continuing.
Now and then, an AA discussion focuses on the theme of "returning to the basics." This is a good time to shake out the excessive concerns that might be cluttering up our lives.
No matter how long we've been living in sobriety, we can never afford to dismiss the basic reasons we came to AA in the first place. We had made a mess of our lives, and no human power could relieve our alcoholism. By accepting and admitting this, we were able to find a new way of life.
This was also our admission ticket to the larger society, where people are concerned about many things. We sometimes become too caught up in all these concerns even to the extent of forgetting our own needs. It's good, occasionally, to focus a meeting on AA basics. they are as essential today as they were when we first knew that we needed them.
I'll remind myself today that the basics give me a firm foundation on which to stand.

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Keep It Simple

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
---Edith Wharton
Our Higher Power is the candle. And our hearts, like a mirror, reflect a warm, loving glow.
But when we used alcohol and other drugs, we tired to be the candle. We wanted to have control. Many of us acted like this to hide how out of control we felt. We never thought we could be happy by admitting we were out of control.
In recovery, we accept that it’s okay to be the mirror. We accept that our Higher Power is the candle that guides us. We want to be the mirror that reflects how much our Higher Power loves us.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for the light and warmth You give me.
Action for the Day: Tonight, I’ll light a candle and place it in front of a mirror. I’ll study how they work together to light the room.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Taking full responsibility for who we are, choosing friends, making plans for personal achievement, consciously deciding day by day where we want to go with our lives, ushers in adventure such as we've never known. For many of us, months and years were wasted while we passively hid from life in alcohol, drugs, food, and other people. But we are breathing new life today.
Recovery offers us, daily, the opportunity to participate in the adventure of life. It offers us the opportunity to share our talents, our special gifts with those with whom we share moments of time.
We are becoming, every moment of time. As are our friends. Discovering who and what we really are, alone and with one another within our experiences is worthy of celebration.
I will congratulate others and myself today.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

BILL'S STORY

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

p. 12

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

Because I'm An Alcoholic

This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?"

The blackouts increased, and my terror increased with them. Telephone bills would inform me that I'd made late-night calls to distant places. I could tell from the numbers whom I called, but what had I said? Some mornings I woke up with a stranger who had brought me home from a party the night before. These things weighed heavily on me, but I couldn't stop the drinking that had caused them. That too gnawed away at any remnants of self-respect I might have had. I was incapable of controlling my drinking and my life.

p. 341

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

We thought "conditions" drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn't to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were.

p. 47

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Our struggle to be perfect at every stage of life is a common element of the human
conditions. What comes with age and wisdom is acceptance of our imperfections.
--Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water's calm.
--Malaysian Proverb

"One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows slowly endures."
--J. G. Hubbard

"Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene."
--Arthur Christopher Benson

For it is in giving that we receive.
--Saint Francis of Assisi

My spiritual home. is one of peace, serenity, and contentment.
--Shelley

I can go to a quiet spiritual place, one with God, and feel this busy world around me,
is refreshed in beauty, love, and serenity.
--Shelley

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

PESSIMISM

"Pessimist: One who, when he has
the choice of two evils, chooses
both."
-- Oscar Wilde

Today I am able to see how I was always looking on the "gloomy" side of life. The
glass was always half empty! I can remember thinking that nothing good was ever
going to happen, life was to be endured, everybody had a price and people were all
selfishly out for themselves.

I projected onto others my own sickness, my own despair, my own pessimism. It was
a suicidal existence. Today I choose to be a positive and creative person who refuses
to be surrounded by negativism. My attitude in life makes all the difference to my
enjoyment of life. Today my glass is more than half full and I am happy.

In the gift of choice, I recognize my potential joy.

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"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety."
Psalm 4:8

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends
all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are
spirit and they are life.
John 6:63

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Daily Inspiration

Thoughts are powerful, so pay close attention to what you think about. Lord, help me to think thoughts of love, peace and abundance so that this becomes my experience.

There is a time for everything. Take time to pray, to sing, to laugh, to work and to touch the hearts of others. Lord, help me be aware that today will never return so that I will not misuse my time or waste it unwisely.

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NA Just For Today

Overcoming Self-Obsession

"In living the steps, we begin to let go of our self-obsession."
Basic Text p.94

Many of us came to the program convinced that our feelings, our wants, and our needs were of the utmost importance to everyone. We had practiced a lifetime of self-seeking, self-centered behavior and believed it was the only way to live.

That self-centeredness doesn't cease just because we stop using drugs. Perhaps we attend our first NA function and are positive that everyone in the room is watching us, judging us, and condemning us. We may demand that our sponsor be on call to listen to us whenever we want - and they, in turn, may gently suggest that the world does not revolve around us. The more we insist on being the center of the universe, the less satisfied we will be with our friends, our sponsor, and everything else.

Freedom from self-obsession can be found through concentrating more on the needs of others and less on our own. When others have problems, we can offer help. When newcomers need rides to meetings, we can pick them up. When friends are lonely, we can spend time with them. When we find ourselves feeling unloved or ignored, we can offer the love and attention we need to someone else. In giving, we receive much more in return - and that's a promise we can trust.

Just for today: I will share the world with others, knowing they are just as important as I am. I will nourish my spirit by giving of myself.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Give to the world all that you have, And the best will come back to you. --Mary Ainge De Vere
When we share something of our own with a friend, it gives both of us a special feeling. Generosity blesses the giver as much as the receiver. Sometimes we feel selfish, wanting to hoard all our treats or treasures. But when we secretly hide them away, we cheat even ourselves from enjoying them.
Giving love and friendship to others works in just the same way. When we express love and kindness to others, we feel more love toward ourselves. Though we may not understand just how it works, we can be certain it does. The more of anything we give away to others, the greater our own rewards will be.
How can I practice generosity today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. ---Rabindranath Tagore
There may be many things in our lives that seem unsure or doubtful. Whatever our hope or personal need today, we are not given the knowledge that tells us how things will turn out. In the predawn darkness we don't know how the day will unfold. Sometimes faith is simply a matter of continuing with our program in the midst of our doubt. Then we can be certain that whatever direction events take, whatever pain or trial we must deal with, we will still have ourselves because we have been faithful today.
Ultimately, it is when we have ourselves and our integrity that we are on the recovery path. It is our faith that keeps us there regardless of the setbacks and personal moments of darkness we each must meet.
I will be faithful to my program, even in the darkest moment of doubt or fear, and it will carry me through.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Taking full responsibility for who we are, choosing friends, making plans for personal achievement, consciously deciding day by day where we want to go with our lives, ushers in adventure such as we've never known. For many of us, months and years were wasted while we passively hid from life in alcohol, drugs, food, and other people. But we are breathing new life today.
Recovery offers us, daily, the opportunity to participate in the adventure of life. It offers us the opportunity to share our talents, our special gifts with those with whom we share moments of time.
We are becoming, every moment of time. As are our friends. Discovering who and what we really are, alone and with one another within our experiences is worthy of celebration.
I will congratulate others and myself today.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Expectations of Others
It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be our source.
It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that's controlling.
There's a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given.
It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source for meeting all our needs. Ultimately, we will become angry and resentful, maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting us as we expected.
It is reasonable to have certain and well defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.
If a person cannot or will not be there for us, then we need to take responsibility for ourselves in that relationship. We may need to set a boundary, alter our expectations, or change the limits of the relationship to accommodate that person's unavailability. We do this for ourselves.
It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any particular person. We can trust ourselves to know what's reasonable.
The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discover an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.
Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships.


Today I know that I am powerless over all the addictions, obsessions, compulsions and dependencies in my life. Today I am willing to let them go to a power greater than myself. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart for December
Discover Common Bonds

"So many people have lost their families," the man said to me. "I have. But I'm beginning to discover that I'm part of a larger family,too. I'm beginning to see my connections to people all over the world."

We all have people we love deeply and dearly, those people we call our family. We have blood ties, genetic ties, long-term relationships with the people in our life. But as we open our hearts, we'll discover a larger family,too.

We have a kinship with those we've never met, even if they live in other cultures. We share many of the same emotional responses to the experiences in our lives, even though our journey may be taking place on different parts of the planet. If we study history we will see our connection to those who have lived before. The hardships they experienced, the lessons they had to face, were similar in many ways to those we face today. Lessons repeat themselves. The ones that are true seem to last. That's why they're called universal truths.

What are you going through in your life right now? Don't feel you're the only one. Open your eyes. Open your heart to your connections with your larger family. Let them share their stories with you. Let them share their strengths, hopes, fears, and joys. Stop looking for what's different and what makes you separate and apart. Go on an adventure of discovering your common bonds.

You're not alone. We're in this together. That's why it's called universal love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

It’s sweet right now

It was an odd friendship right from the start. I was in a local store, trying to buy some new rocks– a crystal, maybe some lapis– someting beautiful to change the energy in my house. “Kyle can help you out,” the salesclerk said. “He knows all about our stones.”

Kyle talked to me for a while about what stones I might like. Then I left the store. A few days later, I wandered back in, and we talked a little more.

By the time the first year passed, we had become pretty good friends. At that time, neither of us had a romantic relationship in our lives. We just hung out, went to restaurants, saw movies together, and talked on the phone.

One year passed, then two, then three, then five. We started a bookstore together, and together we closed it down.

Now Kyle’s seeing someone romantically. I am, too. We’re still best friends, but the wheel of life has turned again. We were talking on the phone just the other day.

“For all our complaining and grumbling and carrying on, we sure had some good times,” I said. “Yes,” he agreed. “This is one of the best times in my life.”

The ordinary moments that we each live through, in retrospect, look so rich and full. Why don’t we take all that wisdom and all that poignant reminiscing and realize that we’re having the best time in our life right now?

God, this is the day you have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

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Pushing Buttons
Untended Pain by Madisyn Taylor

When somebody continues to open our old wounds on purpose, they must be told that their behavior is no longer welcome.

We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we can’t take it any more, and chances are, we’ve all pushed somebody else’s buttons, with or without knowing it. The button pusher may not be conscious of what they’re doing, but in the end the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less tender these buttons will be.

We’ve all had the experience of having someone snap at us, seemingly out of nowhere. This happens when we unconsciously push a button in someone else we didn’t even know was there. This can happen with a complete stranger and sometimes with a person we’ve known and been close to for years. We ourselves may have a relationship with someone whose buttons we secretly like to push. Buttons are just soft spots that have been touched one too many times, and they symbolize some pain that needs to be acknowledged and healed. This may be a wound from childhood, or some recent trauma, that we haven’t adequately tended. Whatever the case, when our buttons get pushed, the person who most needs our attention and caring is us, and blaming the button pusher only distracts us from finding a true resolution to our suffering.

At the same time, if someone continually opens our wounds so that they never have time to heal, we are well within our rights to set a boundary with that person. Compulsive button pushers, who seem to find pleasure or satisfaction in hurting us, are not welcome in our personal space. In the end, knowing where our buttons are enables us to do the work necessary to heal. Freedom comes when we deal with the pain behind the button, thus disconnecting our automatic reaction to being pushed. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When we compulsively strive for perfection, we invariably injure ourselves. For one thing, we end up creating big problems from little ones. For another, we become frustrated and filled with despair when we’re unable to meet the impossible goals we’ve set for ourselves. And finally, we decrease our capability to deal with life and reality as it is. Can I learn to yield a little, here and there? Can I apply myself with a quiet mind only to what is possible and attainable?

Today I Pray

May I see that striving for an impossible accomplishment provides me with an ever-ready excuse for not making it. It is also an indication of my loss of reality-sense which ought to involve knowing what I can do and then doing it. With the help of the group and my Higher Power, may I learn to set “reasonable goals.” These may seem ridiculously small to me, after years of “thinking big.” But, by breaking down my projects into several smaller ones, may I find that I actually can accomplish some high goals.

Today I Will Remember

Break down large goals into smaller ones.

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One More Day

Change does not change tradition. If strengthens it. Change is a challenge and an opportunity, not a threat. – Prince Philip

At holiday times and anniversaries and birthdays, we may lament, “I can’t entertain anymore. I just don’t have the room. I don’t have the strength either.” Is what we are telling ourselves really true? Are our friends and families so shallow that they come to our homes only for roast beef or turkey? Do we really have to give up the joy of having company?

Quickly we recognize the nonsense of such thoughts and cope with this situation in the same way we have with so many others — we change and we adapt. We can still welcome our loved ones into our homes. In the simpler meals and the casual atmosphere, our friends and family will find what they have come for — assurance that we still value their company.

I will serve my guest as always — with love and fellowship.

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Food For Thought

A No Fault Illness

Formerly, we may have blamed our parents, a disappointment in love, economic insecurity, or a million other factors for our addiction to compulsive overeating. We probably spent much time and energy trying to figure out why we overate.

When we get honest with ourselves, we assume the responsibility for our own actions, instead of trying to shift it somewhere else. Many of us come to believe that we would be compulsive overeaters no matter what the circumstances of our lives. As we recover, we see that the why of our illness is unanswerable and unimportant. What counts is how we control it.

We do not continue to berate ourselves for having this illness, or consider ourselves physically, morally, or spiritually inferior for having contracted it. Blaming ourselves is as useless as blaming someone else. We accept the fact that through no one's fault we have the disease of compulsive overeating. Then we get on with the business of learning to control this illness with the help of our Higher Power and the OA program.

I blame no one for my illness.

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One Day At A Time

~ SPIRITUALITY VS RELIGION ~
Religion is a way for people to get to heaven, and
Spirituality is a way for people to get out of hell.
Anonymous Twelve Stepper

I was raised in a home that was strongly religious. All of its standards and rules were based on religion, and on the standards of a rigid God Who is perfect, and Who calls His followers to be perfect. My mother is a person who seemed to find her mission in life by telling people how far they fell short of that perfection. I learned very early that I did not and would never measure up; that being part of religion meant accepting my inability to excel at its tenets.

But when I came into this program, I began to learn about spirtuality. I learned about God from people who were not perfect, and who could accept themselves as they are. I learned about mercy and forgiveness from people with different faiths than my own; I learned about trusting God from people who did not even believe in a Supreme Being. What I learned has put "flesh" on the words of the Scriptures that I learned as a child. It has put life into my faith, for the first time, and it has helped me learn that I am worthwhile and acceptable just as I am.

One Day at a Time . . .
I give my life into the keeping of the God of my understanding, and know that my best is the least, and the most, that He expects from me.
Donna

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people - was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight? Of course it was. - Pg. 52 - We Agnostics

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

When intense cravings for our drug of choice overwhelm us, we immediately talk to another person in recovery, no matter the time. Our program teaches us to rely on each other and they will welcome the contact!

Give me the strength to contact another clean and sober person BEFORE I think of satisfying that craving.

The Creative Power of My Thoughts

Today, I recognize that I tend to produce in my life what I feel is true for myself. Thoughts have a creative power of their own. If I look closely, I can see my thoughts come to life. I create the possibility of what I would like by first experiencing it in my mind. I will visualize what I would like to have in my life in my mind's eye. I will accept what I see in my inner eye as being there for me, and I will fully participate in my vision as if it were mine. I will be specific about what I see, smell, feel, and I will accept my inner vision as fully as possible. I will enjoy my vision, then let it go and move on in my day, releasing it with no thought of controlling it further. I will let it happen, if it is right for me, in God's time.

All good things are possible for me.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

We may have empathy for your situation but we will not pity you. We know that pitying you leads to you pitying yourself which leads to mind-affecting chemicals. Rather than pity you, if you need an attitude adjustment, it's very likely a fellow group member will let you know.

Attitudes are contagious. Is mine worth catching?

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Don't 'people please', 'Higher Power Please.'

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I know that I have done the best I can with my life. Today I know that I am at choice, and what I choose right now creates new memories. Today I choose to continue to do the very best.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

They take good scotch, put juice, soda, bitters and God knows what in it, shake it up, stick an umbrella in it - That's alcohol abuse. - Anon.