Nothing in the 12 step process to recovery is designed to hurt us, although it can be painful when we first start the process. This pain is the admission price that we pay, and it's well worth it, and won't harm us in any way. Once we complete the 12 steps completely for the first time we'll know this to be true. Every step has a purpose, and a reason for us to do them, so we may recover. It's a documented experience that has worked for so many. We are the only ones that can make the decision to take them. I was told that when the pain of not changing was greater than the pain to change then I'd be ready to take them.