Today's Thought - March

[bluidkiti]

March 1

The less able I am to believe in our epoch and the more arid and depraved mankind seems in my eyes, the less I look to revolution as the remedy and the more I believe in the magic of love.

~Hermann Hesse

Men have been more likely to look outward than inward for solutions to problems. Yet this program is changing us from within. As we come to terms with ourselves, as we learn to be in relationships with friends and family, the same picture that looked so dismal in past years may look full of possibilities and even rich in the present. The love we feel toward others and the love we receive change our perceptions.

We need not expect all relationships to be alike. One friend may be wonderful as a recreational buddy, but perhaps we wouldn’t talk about everything in our life with him. Another friend is comfortable, and we can be ourselves with him, although he may not challenge us to grow or change. No friendship, no spouse, no one person can be enough in our life. But as a group they sustain and enrich us. We need the love and contact with them all.

I am thankful for love, which gives meaning and hope to life.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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March 2

Forming new habits

We form habits, and then these habits begin to form us. For so long we had such self-destructive ways of being: we were self-centered, angry, and critical people, and so we behaved selfishly, angrily, and judgmentally in the world.

To stay sober we must develop new habits, new patterns of living. We must give up old hangouts, old friends, old attitudes and ideas. It seems this is the only way to form new habits—for example, kindness, love, and honesty—on which our program is based.

What habits do I want to develop?

Higher Power, help me to form new habits to replace the old ones that nearly destroyed my life.

The new habit I will work on today is…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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March 3

Reflection for the Day

It’s time for me to realize that my attitude—toward the life I’m living and the people in it—can have a tangible, measurable, and profound effect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to me. And if I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation, I know it will change all the circumstances of my life for the better, too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition?
Today I Pray

Since my illness was spiritual—as well as physical and emotional—may I mend spiritually through daily communion with my Higher Power. May I find a corner of quiet within me where I can spend a few moments with my Higher Power.
Today I Will Remember

To spend a quiet moment with my Higher Power.

*Meditations can be specific, but themes are universal: apply as needed on your personal journey.

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March 4

Sponsors keep the program alive.

The founders of Alcoholics Anonymous understood the importance of telling other people how they had overcome the struggles and multiplied the successes in their lives. Sponsorship is a key element in every Twelve Step program. Every one of us reading these words has a part to play.

Sharing our experiences with newcomers or old-timers is equally valuable. None of us has the perfect program. We are always learning and relearning to use the tools that promise saner living. Every time we answer a call for help or offer ourselves as a sounding board to a friend in pain, we’ll have an opportunity to strengthen our program.

The program continues to thrive because individuals keep talking to each other and seeking from one another the wisdom that can make each new day more serene.

I will have an opportunity to help someone today. God sees to that every day. I pray for the willingness to do my part.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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March 5

Into the dangerous world I leapt…

~William Blake

Life is full of risks. We may be tempted to maintain the status quo in areas of our lives where we’ve achieved some kind of stability, even though our deep needs aren’t being fulfilled. We may be reluctant to reach out to new friends or potential loves if we are grieving a loss or hurt. We may not want to take on the risk of changing jobs, the expense of furthering our education, or the hard work of pursuing recovery or therapy.

There are no guarantees that we’ll like the new experiences for which we’ve exchanged our old ones. We may be loath to change routines that are familiar and comforting. We are not lazy. More likely, we’re feeling frightened or inadequate. Many courageous people have experienced the hesitation we’re experiencing. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is having the willingness to take action in spite of fear.

Today, I’m willing to risk doing something differently.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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March 6

Safety

One of the long-term effects of living in a dysfunctional family—as children or adults—is that we don’t feel safe.

Much of what we call codependency happens because we don’t feel safe in relationships. This can cause us to control, obsess, or focus on the other person, while neglecting ourselves or shutting down our feelings.

We can learn to make ourselves feel safe and comfortable, as part of a nurturing, loving attitude toward ourselves.

Often, we get a feeling of safety and comfort when we attend Twelve Step meetings or support groups. Being with a friend or doing something nice for ourselves helps us feel protected and loved. Sometimes, reaching out to another person helps us feel safe. Prayer and meditation help us affirm that our Higher Power cares for us.

We are safe now. We can relax. Perhaps others haven’t been there for us in a consistent, trustworthy way, but we are learning to be there for ourselves.

Today, I will concentrate on making myself feel safe and comfortable.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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March 7

Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.

~Voltaire

To learn more about anything is to become increasingly able to make meaningful observations: “Aha! That’s why the teacher said to do it this way!” or “Now I get it! It’s this command, not that one, that runs the program!” In large part, to know the difference is to know the right questions.

We can’t change the fact of a divorce, for example, but we can deal more creatively with loneliness. If we’re short, we can’t make ourselves taller, but we can learn to deal with insensitive jokes. If someone has died, we can’t make that person live again, but we can do something about the despair we may feel. What’s the correct question? Will God reverse what has happened? Or is the question really this: Will God give us the spiritual power to deal with what is?

If we have been asking that God spare us pain, perhaps we should try a different question: Will God lead us through our pain to a greater understanding of life?

I will learn to trust more in my Higher Power and the direction He gives my life.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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March 8

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.

~Theodore Rubin

It’s more important to be kind than it is to be smart. Being kind means actually doing things that help other people and make the world a better place. Being smart, or wise, is really nothing in itself without action.

Notice what happens when someone pays attention to us with a smile. We experience a wonderful, heart-warming feeling. And we can do that for others anytime we want.

It’s so easy to do kind things. We can smile and say hello. Hold a door open for someone. Help with the dishes after dinner. Send a note or make a phone call to brighten someone else’s day. Make the coffee or set up chairs at our recovery meeting. Sponsor a newcomer.

When we can, we should do kind actions that are a bit more difficult. We might help out at a food kitchen for the poor, run errands for a shut-in neighbor, or coach a children’s sports team. No matter if our kind actions are big or small, they make the world a happier place.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, remind me today that I can do a favor for you. I can make your love real in the world by giving away a smile, a greeting, or a kind word to someone.

Today's Action

Today I will practice being kind. I will say hello to at least five people while I look them in the eye and smile. I will notice what happens when I do this.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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March 9

To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else.

~Bernadette Devlin

It is a humbling experience to admit there is a Power greater than ourselves. We felt powerful as an addict, especially when we were acting out. But that power was illusion; we used it to hide the truth. We truly believed that our addiction was all-powerful. It was the force we counted on and protected.

What an undertaking then to admit our powerlessness and to acknowledge our need for a Power greater than ourselves. Our life can feel like a battleground, with our addiction pulling us one way and our recovery urging us another. And where is our Higher Power during this struggle? Unlike our addiction, our Higher Power does not force us to do anything, but waits until we choose. We do not have to take action any particular way; we will decide to turn our life over to the care of our Higher Power as we’re ready. We need only sense a spiritual presence ready to help us when we are ready to accept our powerlessness.

Step Two is a way for me to start to know my own spirituality. Can I accept this gift from my Higher Power?

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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March 10

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

~Don Marquis

We were constant procrastinators before we began our Twelve Step program. Addiction created the habit of delay because, as long as we had our substance, everything else could wait.

Now we know that action truly is the magic word. The slogan “Easy does it” doesn’t mean to put things off. It means to do it, but to do it in God’s good time. Slow growth doesn’t mean postponement.

We can’t put off airing problems to other people for fear of being ridiculed. We need answers early during our progress. When we attempt to ask for solutions, we can be clear and direct in our questions. We know our friends will always give us the right to be wrong and quickly correct faulty thinking.

I can solve problems just by pressing on. Procrastination is not living one day at a time. I will do today what I am meant to do today.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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March 11

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.

~Alexander Smith

One reason our program has such power to change lives is that it is based on the principle of sharing between people with similar problems and experiences. We are able to help each other when nothing else seems to work because we can identify with one another. We recognize ourselves in each other, making it easier to love one another.

God made us all equal. It is hard for us to believe this until we see others who seem so different, but are really just like us. The knowledge that we are essentially alike—that God gave each of us the same feelings, the same inner needs—comforts us and gives us confidence. That’s why it’s important that we share ourselves by revealing our feelings.

I will share my feelings with others today and delight in the recognition it brings.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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March 12

I want to get you excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.

~Virginia Satir

Deciding to recover was our first step. That decision meant we did want to go beyond where we were. We did want something better for ourselves. And at times, in fleeting moments, we have been excited about who we are and our prospects for a better life.

The excitement and the inspiration come and go; they are seldom stationary. We can actively create the excitement and the inspiration. We need not wait for them to come to us. That's one of the choices we have as human beings, as women.

Passively waiting for "the good life" is past behavior. Each day, this day, we can set our sights on reaching a goal—we can take a step, or two, toward that goal. Progress is there for the making—achievement is there for the taking.

Whatever our hearts' pure desires, we can move toward that goal. We are what we need to be. We have what we need to move ahead.

Today, I will let my excitement for life's possibilities spur me on.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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March 13

We have ever more perfect eyes in a world in which there is always more to see.

~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Today’s quotation could be seen as one of the promises of recovery. When we enter into a program of spiritual and emotional renewal, we choose to become honest with ourselves. In the process, our eyes begin to see more clearly, and we become aware of the many ways we have been dishonest with ourselves. Each new bit of self-honesty builds the base for more insight and an ever-sharper understanding of ourselves and our world. When we started with our decision to be honest, we could never have predicted what we would find down the path.

We first surrender to the truth as we know it, and this clarity about ourselves and the world grows into great insight. The world opens up for us, and we find ever more to see and learn. We feel very alive every moment.

Today, I continue my commitment to see the truth wherever I find it.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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March 14

AA Thought for the Day

If we had absolute faith in the power of God to keep us from drinking and if we turned our drinking problem entirely over to God without reservations, we wouldn’t have to do anything more about it. We’d be free from drink once and for all. But since our faith is apt to be weak, we have to strengthen and build up this faith. We do this in several ways. One way is by going to meetings and listening to others tell how they have found all the strength they need to overcome drink. Is my faith being strengthened by this personal witness of other alcoholics?
Meditation for the Day

It is the quality of my life that determines its value. In order to judge the value of a person’s life, we must set up a standard. The most valuable life is one of honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. All people’s lives ought to be judged by this standard in determining their value to the world. By this standard, most of the so-called heroes of history were not great humans. “What shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be honest, pure, unselfish, and loving. I pray that I may make the quality of my life good by these standards.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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March 15

The difficulty in life is the choke.

~George Moore

How we choose to spend our time says much about what is important to us. If we have no goals, we may try to kill time. If we have too many goals, there may not be enough time in the day to do all we set out to do.

We must make some choices based on our values. We may need to take more time for some things, and let go of others. For example, this year will we try to learn to play the guitar? Perhaps we have finally decided to drop out of that club which seems to have little purpose. Will we give more time to work, or less time? With each of these choices, we shape our lives. We can do it with the touch of an artist if we pay attention to the choices we are making.

What is truly important to me today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*