There was a decision I had to make before I could even begin doing anything about the way I had become. For me it was one of the hardest decisions I'll ever have to make. I had to decide if it was worth it to me to do all the things that would keep me from going on the way I was, and to try something else that I had no idea what that was going to be like. This was not easy for me to do and I kept putting it off wanting to make this decision hoping someone else would do this for me. Then I was made to realize that no one else could, that I was the only one that would ever be able to make this decision for myself, and that by me putting off making it, that I had already made it, because I was deciding to do nothing. This is when I finally decided that I did want to do something about how I had become, and that it would be worth it to me if l did. That's when I decided I wanted to be in recovery, and when I made this decision, that's when recovery started to be able to help me.