Question - Men to Women Ratio

[stk]

Hello! I was just wondering, what is the mix of men to ladies on this forum? Are there some guys posting here? I am a guy and would like to meet some men on the forum. I like befriending the ladies too of course, but just like the mtgs, I am new to recovery and looking for some men friends that are posting.

Shawn

P.S. I am always grateful for ANY friends on this board. Just wondering!

[LookingOut]

Dave--dwmoeller--is male and he is very nice. I think we do have more women. There were more males but some pop in less frequently. We can pray for more. Now my experience with live meetings here in PA is that there are always more males.

[MajestyJo]

Thanks for reaching out and asking. Dave is an active member, but he is away on the weekend. We have a few others but haven't heard from them for a while. Wilbe posts in the reading section. Perhaps you can private message them. There is a big stigma attached to women in recovery, so a lot of them are not as trusting and fear rejection.

In the groups, I found it to be more men. The women for the most part didn't travel from group, they stayed at their own group and maybe a meeting or two of friends. I was all over the city. If I had access to the meeting, I went. Often changed it up, not only different fellowships but different meetings within AA. If I got a ride, I went to night meetings, not many women at them, but I had a real thirst.

Some days I went to 3 meetings a day twice a week if I could get a ride. People talked about me because I seemed to know a lot of men, but they were at the meetings I attended. My sponsor said, "Stick with the women, those with recovery." I said, "Tell me where they are, most of them I haven't seen." I think it was a lot to do with their journey and abuse. I had the same issues, but I wanted the healing and the change. That meant to go where the message was being carried. I had a real thirst. One of the greatest gifts of recovery was being able to get to a ride out of town. I haven't had a car since 1980. I had two cars when I started my second marriage and ended up with none. Car repair was beer money.

In NA, I couldn't find a sponsor there who could identify with, and there were few over 5 years clean. I ended up with a gentleman who was my spiritual adviser, who was a member of AA who was dual addicted. He had the books for both fellowships.

My last AA sponsor was a heroin addict who never drank, but found NA a trigger and got clean and found sobriety (soundness of mind) in AA.

I found that any where I went the message was there if I was open to receiving it. Sometimes I got the message I needed to hear before the meeting even started.

I was told to look for someone I could relate to or find someone who had what I wanted. I sponsored a guy with 3 months sober from Montreal, on the condition he find a man who he felt comfortable with. He said, "People may look at me funny and think I am gay, but that doesn't matter. I want what you have." I also sponsored two guys who were gay. Even went to a gay meeting occasionally. Being gay doesn't matter, they were alcoholics. The message was the same. Although I had a chuckle when I said, "I am the Queen of Denial." My soon to be sponsee said, "I qualify too."

This was me today.