Wisdom For Today - June

[bluidkiti]

June 16

Wisdom for Today
When I first walked through the doors of the program, I realized that I knew nothing about how to stay clean and sober. Over time, God and the people in the program have constantly shown more and more to me about the ways to establish and maintain recovery. Each day I ask for more to be revealed. Each day I ask how and what I can do to help those who still suffer. I ask for willingness to share freely the things that have been given me. Each of these revelations and increased knowledge of recovery is a part of the miracle of recovery.
Sharing this information with others is a part of the small way I participate in the miracle happening for others. In sharing with others I am also helping myself. It is important to share freely what has been learned in the process of recovery. It is equally important to say "I do not have the answer." We can only give away what we know. This is in part why it is so important to keep learning and making a life long study of the program. Do I continue to study the principles of the program?
Meditations for the Heart
In the study of the program, we gain confidence in what works. We learn to have faith in these spiritual principles which underlie all of the program. We find strength in the quiet meditation and quietness. We learn from others, and we share what we know. Study however does require effort. We must discipline ourselves to spend time reading and in discussion with others to gain this understanding and knowledge. We will not gain anything without effort. We ask for willingness to give this effort. We schedule time in our day to learn. We learn to build our understanding of what works. We learn to understand the history of the program. We learn from the wisdom of those who have walked the path before us. We find new answers and we implement them in our lives. Do I spend time in study of the program?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This day I ask you to teach me. Provide me with opportunity to learn what You want for me to learn today. Give me openness to expand my knowledge and to share what I know with others. Open my mind to see what You want me to see this day. Open my ears so that I might hear what You want me to hear today.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 17

Wisdom for Today
Since coming into the program, my whole concept of what friendship means has changed dramatically. I thought that I was surrounded by a large group of friends when I was drinking and using drugs, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Oh, I had plenty of acquaintances, but none were truly my friends. I had party pals, and I had bar buddies, but I did not understand the concept of friendship until I had people who accepted me for who I was. I did not understand friendship until I had people who were willing to sit with me through the long and painful nights of early recovery, simply to help me get through one more day.
No I didn't understand friendship until I had real friends who would be honest with me and tell me the truth about myself. I didn't understand real friendship until I understood that these individuals would stand by me, and I knew in my heart they could be trusted. In my active addiction I thought that friends were people that I could use to get what I wanted. Now friends are people I can help and who can help me in return. They have taught me everything they know about how to live a better life and to be a better person. I know that with my friends I do not need to hold back. I can simply turn to them and ask for help and know that it will be there. I also know that if they need help, I will be there for them. This is what the program has taught me. Do I now have true friends? Am I willing to be a friend in return?
Meditations for the Heart
Recovery trains us to develop virtues. Patience is but one of these. Patience is often a real struggle for many of us because we became so used to instant gratification in our addiction. One quick fix, and we had everything we wanted, or so we thought. But recovery teaches us patience. We learn that we must do the work if we are to accomplish the goal. Nothing worth having comes easy, and this is true with patience as well. We learn to put off our need for immediate satisfaction and superficial reward in order to gain the real value in recovery. Slowly and methodically we take each step and thoroughly work each requirement to find the value behind the work. We learn to live in God's time and not our own. We discover that as long as we are willing to be patient, God will supply the answers we seek in His time and when we need them. Just because we want something now does not mean that we are yet ready. God knows this and will give us His answers in His time. Am I discovering what it means to be patient?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Life is filled with many twists and turns, but You have provided me with friends I can rely on to help me along the way. Give me the wisdom to give back this friendship to any who need it. Let me this day practice patience and move at Your pace. Let me not rush to accomplish anything without first talking with You, God.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

June 18

Wisdom for Today
In looking at the membership requirement of the program, we must admit our powerlessness and that our lives are unmanageable. For most of us this is either the hardest step to take or the easiest. For many, like myself, we enter the program not yet ready to become members. Denial and dishonesty keep us from accepting the reality of our illness. But there is something about sitting in those meetings and hearing other peoples stories that breaks down the wall of denial; and dishonesty crumbles away, letting the reality of addiction come to light. Here is where membership in gained.
For others the consequences of their disease screams so loudly that it can not be denied. Membership is not only accepted, but it is wanted. In desperation the alcoholic or addict embraces the program and it's membership. Regardless of how we enter the program or what road we take to it's doors; membership must be accepted and claimed for the program to work. It has only one requirement, a desire to stop the insanity of addiction. For those of us that have claimed this membership, we know that we have but started our journey. Each day we claim anew to be a member of this fellowship. Each day we claim the need for the program in our lives. Have I accepted membership in this program of recovery?
Meditations for the Heart
"I once was lost, but now I'm found." This line in the song Amazing Grace says it all. We walk through the door lost, but in the program we become found. In this program we are provided with a roadmap to recovery. We are given the principles and the steps that lead us on a journey of recovery. The path we must travel is not always easy, particularly in the early going. Over time the path widens, and it is no longer steep and winding. This is not to say that there are no twists or turns, just that as we become more and more familiar with using the roadmap, our journey becomes more predictable and more secure. In recovery we have many guides who will lead us from one point to another. These are but trusted servants who know the way better than we do. We simply need to follow the suggestions we are given, and these servants will lead us to a new horizon in our journey. Do I use the suggestions I am given?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Thank you for leading me to the doorway of recovery. Here my eyes have been opened, and I can now claim membership in this program. Remind me each day to claim this membership again and again. This principle will keep me in a place to continue my journey. Thank You also for the trusted servants that so freely share what works and how to travel this path. Without them and Your guidance I would surely become lost again.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 19

Wisdom for Today
The spiritual aspects of the program form the second principle of the program. In the
second, third and eleventh steps of the program we find hope, help and relationship from
our Higher Power. In these steps we find the possibility of restoration, the need for
surrender, and the need for conversation with God to gain understanding and willingness. In
conjunction with acceptance of our membership requirements, the spiritual aspects of the
program form a solid foundation on which our house of recovery stands.. Without this
foundation our struggle will continue.

Here we turn our powerlessness into strength and our unmanageability into obedience of His
will for us. We begin to understand the need for relying on a Power outside of ourselves.
Here we learn the necessity of letting go of the need to control, manipulate, and deceive.
We are relieved of the insanity of our compulsion to use. Here we find our faith is tested
and unshaken. Here we find the answers to the questions our heart and soul ask. Here we
find freedom from the bondage we have lived with. Are the spiritual principles a part of my
daily living?
Meditations for the Heart
When we turn our thoughts and words to God, he listens. God turns His ear to those who
speak to Him and He listens to what we say. He listens to the words of our heart and mind.
He listens to our needs and He leads us to a place where these needs can be met. No matter
how we talk with God, He will turn his ear to hear us. Even when we turn to Him in anger,
He will not shut the door on us. He will show how to quiet the rage and resentments we
have. We can bring anything to God, and He will not turn from us. Every hurt and pain we
carry, He will listen to. He will bring healing into our hearts. Every fear that we
imagine, He will stand ready to calm. We can carry our shame and self-hatred to Him only to
have God reflect back a very different image of ourselves. He will take our sadness and
loss and teach us how to live with this until we have a sense of joy and completeness. Do I
trust that my Higher Power listens to me?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Living with You in my life has changed my heart and my mind. Each day I am assured again
that You will care for me. Even in the most difficult times of my life You hang in there
with me. You are willing to support and carry me when I need this. You bring encouragement
to me and strengthen in whatever I face. You teach me not to fear. Stay with me this day,
and lead me.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 20

Wisdom for Today
Moving on to the principle of personal inventory: Looking at ourselves honestly is an
absolute must in recovery. Steps four, five, six, seven and ten point us in this direction.
The truth is that for many of us, we have spent years running from the truth. Not just
about our addiction, but also the truth of who we are. Facing the reality of our defects,
our wrongs, our secrets, and ourselves is vital to maintaining recovery. We need to turn
over every rock and find out if there is dirt under it. This is not easy, but if we refuse
to be searching in this process, we are simply setting ourselves up to drink or use again.

It is not enough to simply locate the dirt in our lives; we must also do what we can to
clean up our act. We need to work at correcting our faults; we look for where we have been
dishonest, self-centered, and fearful. We look at how our attitudes, behavior and beliefs
have set us on a path of destruction; and we do what is necessary to change our direction.
We do not do this only once, but we do this every day. Each day we fall short in some way,
and we look at what we must do to live the program. These steps are more that just
identifying our shortcomings, but looking at and making the changes we need to make to live
happily in recovery. Am I dealing with reality in my inventory?
Meditations for the Heart
The changes we all must face in ourselves are not something we need to do alone. Each of us
has help through a Power outside of ourselves. This Power is accessed through faith. All of
us must come to believe that this help is available to us. Not one of us has been
successful in changing our faults on our own. These defects resist change, and unless we
turn our will over and humbly ask for the help that is available to us all, our chance for
successfully making change in our lives and who we are is nil. All we need do is look
around at the countless faces of those who have completed these steps, and we have ample
evidence that this Power lives among us. He is the one who will author our change. It is in
His light that we are shown the path of needed change. The proof is in millions of changed
lives. Do I have faith that God can and will show me how to change what I need to change?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Looking at myself in the mirror of honesty is not always easy. I do not always like what I
see. But You reflect not only who I am but also who I can be. Let me not fear change, for I
know that any change You encourage me to make will be for my own good. Let me embrace these changes of personal growth as an opportunity to become the person You want me to be.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 21

Wisdom for Today
Making restitution is the next principle of the program. This is something that is not always easy, and many of us want to avoid. We must swallow our pride and go to the people we have harmed and attempt to undo the damage and repair what we can. Here again we do inventory, not of ourselves, but of how our attitude, behavior and beliefs have affected others. We make a list and then set about to rectify the problems we have caused. We pay back what we have taken, and we let others know how we have wronged them. We make a genuine attempt to rebuild the bridges we have burned.
As difficult as this process may be, the rewards we gain are even greater. Even when the apology is not accepted, it is important that we extend the effort. All of these efforts are made not just to repair the damage done, but also to relieve us from the burdens or guilt and shame we carry. Often times we find that this process if genuine and done in humility can change years of anger, frustration and even hate by others we have harmed into friendship and reconciliation. Here we often find forgiveness. Here we find love reborn. Here mending broken fences makes good neighbors. But most of all we find our conscience is cleared. Have I done my best at making restitution to those I have wronged?
Meditations for the Heart
Living a spiritual life brings joy and peace of mind. If these are not present in your life there is still spiritual growth to be done. Here we must stretch our faith and learn to grow along spiritual lines. This growth may come slowly or happen quite rapidly. We look to remove any roadblocks that stand in the way of expanding our spiritual growth. We remove self-reliance and replace it with reliance on a Higher Power. We remove doubt and replace it with trust. We remove grandiosity and replace it with humility. We remove fear and replace it with the security of knowing that we have a strong foundation in the program. Over time as we work the steps and live the program, we experience a spiritual awakening. The sleep of addiction is replaced by a brilliant awareness of a new light in our life. Have I found joy and peace of mind?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Give me the courage this day that I might need to do the repair work still needed in my life. Help me to find a genuine desire to fix the brokenness of the lives I have harmed along the road of destruction that addiction is. Let me become willing to make any restitution I may need to. Give me strength in this part of my journey in recovery.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 22

Wisdom for Today
There is nothing more powerful than one drunk or user helping another. This is the last principle of the program. When I stop and reflect back on all the things that have helped me along the journey of recovery, certainly what I have heard from those around the tables and from my sponsor leads the way. At my first meeting someone got up and shared their story. It was like they had followed me around and now were relaying what had happened in my life. Sometimes it is a catchy one-liner, and other times it has been through hours of discussion that the light finally gets turned on inside my head, and the pieces of the puzzle come together. Regardless of how I have learned what I needed to learn, most of it came from the mouth of someone else who had been there.
I still look for answers in this way, but I also find that I get answers by sharing my own story. Sometimes telling my story again helps me to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes it is the questions I am asked by others that makes me dig deeper in to the mysteries and miracle or recovery. I also find that it is important for me to share not just my successes, but my failures, struggles and what has not worked. In sharing these things, I find I am reminded of what does work. I know today that I need to carry the message to others in the program. This helps me stay clean and sober. Am I responsible, and do I reach out to carry the message to others?
Meditations for the Heart
Recovery for me is like turning on lights. It is important for me to shine the lights of the program on all that I do. In this way I can see clearly any dirt that I need to clean up in my life. With the lights of recovery shining brightly, I can see the path that I am to take. It is easier to see what God's will for me is with the lights on. This is the exact opposite of what I did in my addiction. Then I wanted nothing but darkness - darkness that would hide the shame and guilt I carried with me - darkness that would hide the fear and darkness that would keep me going in circles with my disease. The light of the program is found in the principles of recovery. It brightens my spirit; and it shines on the mirror of the twelve steps, which in turn reflects back to me what I need to do next. Have I been drawn to the light of recovery?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This day shine brightly in my life. Continue to guide my steps, and give me willingness to give back to the program. Guide me when I speak, and grant me words to help others on this path. Let me always seek out others with any need that I may have. Help me to listen to the suggestions I receive. Let me take these suggestions as a roadmap to the freedom that recovery brings.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 23

Wisdom for Today
Each of us in the program has problems within our personality. These character defects are the core of our problems. Even though we stop drinking and using, these problems can continue in recovery. We can make concerted efforts to rid ourselves of these personality flaws, and they continue to exist deep within our being. They will continue to thrive within us until we honestly work the steps and have a spiritual experience. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous the term "spiritual experience" is defined as something that brings about personality change.
It comes through the process of surrendering our lives to God, as we understand Him. In this surrender we turn our will over. We ask Him humbly to remove our shortcomings. Then it is through obedience of His will for us and faith that this spiritual experience will happen for us that we indeed are changed. This does not necessarily happen in one fell swoop, but is more likely to occur over time as we continue to use the steps and work the program. It does not require a vast faith or extreme God consciousness. It simply requires that we continue to do the next right thing. In most cases the changes are gradual but continuous. It becomes clear to us that we are not the same as we were the week before or the month before. Over time the change in our personality does occur. Do I see the gradual change in who I am, my thinking, my behavior, my beliefs?
Meditations for the Heart
"Lord, to whom shall I go?" These words from the Bible remind us that we can only turn to God. Only He has the answers to the questions we have inside. Only God can relieve us of the compulsion to drink or use. Only God will bring about the changes needed in who we are and how we behave. We can find God in every place we are willing to see Him, for He is always with us. In our moments of despair, He is there. In our moments of fear, He stands ready to comfort us. In our anger, He will quench the fire that burns within. In our sadness, He will dry our tears. And in our joy, He celebrates with us. All we need do is look, and we can find Him in our midst. His Spirit is always by our side. His wisdom is always available to us. His strength is within our hearts, and He will provide us with courage. Where do I go with the burdens I still carry?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You have the words that I need to hear. You share these words through others that I share my burdens with. You share your words deep within my conscience. Your strength is always available to me. Give me this day the openness to see you at work in my life. Let me hear the words that my heart and mind need for this day. Walk with me always.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 24

Wisdom for Today
For most of us the spiritual experience we talk about is not from a brilliant flash of light that causes a profound change in our personality; rather it comes to us through a process of education. This was certainly the case for me. As I walked the path of recovery, I began learning about my disease and how it affected my thinking, emotions, perceptions of the world, my beliefs, and most of all my behavior. I learned about this through listening to countless people at meetings as they shared their stories. I learned about this through listening to my sponsor. I learned through reading program literature. I learned in ways that I can not even fully describe.
I would recount things that happened to me in my recovery journey, and my sponsor would always ask me, "How do you think that happened?" He continually pointed out examples of how a Higher Power was working in my life and in the lives of others I met at meetings. Others at meetings began to point out how I had changed even before I could see the changes in myself. Over and over again I was inundated with new information and provided with example after example of how God was doing for me what I could not do for myself. Eventually I could begin to see the differences in how I viewed the world. I could feel the differences in my emotional responses to life. I could see that I was indeed thinking differently. Am I beginning to see the difference in my life because of this spiritual experience?
Meditations for the Heart
There is gladness in your heart when you are in God's service. As addicts and alcoholics, none of us can consider any job beneath us. For any job that is in service to God is a good one. Everyday we interact with other people. It is important for us to see all people as an opportunity for service. We never really know who our Higher Power may bring into our life. He may bring them into our lives so that we can be of service to them. Who are we to turn down this opportunity. He may bring these people into our life to teach us more about life or more about recovery. We should be open to learning from each of these experiences. We do not know what God's plan for us may be. All we know is that if we do what our Higher Power wants, then we will be rewarded with gladness in our heart. Am I willing to serve others?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today let me be open to learning the lessons You want me to learn. Help me to continue to grow along spiritual lines. Let me stand ready to serve in any way that I am asked. Let me find a humble, courageous, and glad heart.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 25

Wisdom for Today
As we grow in our recovery, we begin to realize that there is much to change about ourselves. Most of us will go through the struggle of attempting to change who we are and how we behave through a process of self-discipline. We may even find that in part we are successful at this. But if we are honest with ourselves, we will soon admit that there are parts of who we are that just don't want to change, even with our best efforts. This can often be very frustrating and can make us even begin to question our own resolve. We go back again and again to the steps trying in vain to change these parts of ourselves.
Here again we find some success, but those pieces of our personality are just too stubborn. The only way to create permanent change is through a spiritual experience. Talk with those that have had this experience and they will all say that they have found a Power greater that has brought about change in their lives. This is central to the process of change. We ask His help in making the changes that we so need to make. We work to become willing to follow the path laid before us. We honestly surrender and follow His lead. What often occurs is that we find that change has been waiting for us all along. What takes only a matter of a short time could not have been accomplished through years of self-discipline. Have I asked God to help me in the changes I need to make?
Meditations for the Heart
God's ability to help us is infinite. However, our willingness to accept His help is directly proportional to our understanding and acceptance of His grace. When we go about trying to run the show our way, we accomplish little. When we open our hearts and minds to His love and simply accept that He can indeed accomplish for us what we could not do for ourselves, we begin to understand His grace. God is indeed willing to help us always, but we too often return to our bull-headed ways of attempting to do it our way. It is up to us to get out of the way and let God, as we understand Him, do for us as He wishes to do. In getting out of the way, we accept His power as greater than our own. It is an act of faith. Here is often our biggest stumbling block. Do I have faith in His grace?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I begin this new day in Your Presence. Give me willingness this day to get out of the way and let You lead me to a new place. Help me to make the changes I still need to make in my life. Let me rely on Your Power this day and not my own. Give me the courage to trust You more today than I did in the past. Let this faith continue too grow in me daily.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 26

Wisdom for Today
Throughout our recovery process it is important to continually make the program a part of us. We do this through attending meetings, talking with our sponsors, and by reading and studying program literature. In each of these ways we improve our knowledge of the program. We can never have to much knowledge of the program. The more we understand the better our chances. However this knowledge is only of value to us if we put it into action. We must take this knowledge and live it. Listening to others and reading does help us prepare to think the program. It helps us to know what to do next. It helps us discern the truth.

Working the program becomes second nature to us only when we make the program a part of us.
It needs to become a natural instinct and a habit if we are to "intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us." This only happens with study and practice. Therefore, we can never learn enough. We read and reread passages in the Big Book. We study our meditation books, and we study the twelve steps. We attend program workshops to increase our knowledge. It may be that we do not truly understand what we read or hear until the fourth, seventh, or even twentieth time we study it. Am I continually working to improve my understanding and living of the program?
Meditations for the Heart
In order to fully share the experience of recovery, we must immerse ourselves in it. We work to accept the discipline of the structure that the program offers. It is in this structure that we find the answers to the questions we ask. We learn to practice what we know to be true. In this practice of the program, we find that the program takes on new meaning. As the meaning of the program changes for us, we also change. We gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of what the program really means for us. As we rely more and more on the principles of the program our faith is increased. As our faith increases we find that our fears are relieved. We find that we begin to hope for more than simple sobriety, but we hope to find a way of living life with an inner sense of security and peace. Am I willing to immerse myself in the program?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Today let the sunlight of the program shine on me. Let me carry this sunshine into all that I do. Let me take time today to study further this program and deepen my understanding of it. Open new doors for me and let me not fear walking through them. Let me never close the doors that lead to a greater knowledge of the program.

Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 27

Wisdom for Today
As we become more established in the program and integrate the program into our lives, we discover the necessity to maintain balance. We find that we need to remain focused on our goal of recovery, but we also need to spend time paying attention to everything else in our lives. There is a temptation for many of us to just invest our time and energy into the program and ignore all the rest. This happens for many reasons. For some of us, we unconsciously use the program to hide from our other responsibilities. For some of us, we do this simply because we are still afraid of dealing with life on life’s terms. For others, we find the camaraderie of the fellowship so inviting that see it as a way to get all of our intimacy needs met. None of these reasons is healthy for our recovery.
Recovery is about more than simple abstinence. It is about learning to live again and we cannot do this if we are avoiding life. Our number one priority is to remain clean and sober, but we should not use this to avoid our other responsibilities. Each of us has other responsibilities in our life. We have family, occupational, financial, health, and personal responsibilities that exist outside of the meetings. We need to carry the program into each of these areas of our life and apply the principles of the program to all that we do. Here is where we practice the principles. We crawled out of the mire of addiction and we now must learn to walk through life. Walking requires that we learn balance. Have I learned to balance program and life’s responsibilities?
Meditations for the Heart
Where do I find the strength I require to find balance and accept the responsibilities I have? It is easy to become overwhelmed if we rely only on our strength. To find the strength necessary for the tasks at hand, we learn to rely on our Higher Power as the resource of our strength. We turn to God daily and ask for his ceaseless supply of strength to be added to our own. We tap into this supply of strength each day and go about doing what God wants us to do in each area of our life. As long as we rely on His strength, we find that we are able to accomplish much. When we run low, we simply return to our Higher Power and ask that our energy is renewed. God will indeed refuel our engines. Here we find the strength we seek and are filled with newness of spirit. Do I seek out His strength each day?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Sometimes I feel like I am juggling too much. Help me this day to set my priorities in the way that You would want me to. Help me to remain balanced in my walk through life. Give me the strength and energy I need for this day. Let me not use the program as a place to hide from my responsibilities, rather let me use the program as a guide to be more responsible with the activities of my life.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 28

Wisdom for Today
The program depends on us as much as we depend on the program. It works on the principle of service. Everything within the program itself happens through the service of others. Whether it is the individual who arrives early to setup and make coffee, the meeting chairperson, volunteering to serve on a committee, speaking at a meeting of workshop, or doing twelve-step work; the program depends on volunteers to keep going and growing. It is through the willingness to volunteer service that the program works.
As we walk through the recovery process, each of us will be given opportunities to serve. The program depends on our willingness to say yes to these opportunities. This willingness on our part is what makes the program effective. This service work is equally important for us as we find that in saying yes to the program we are also helping ourselves. In volunteering we help to carry the program and the program in turn helps to carry us. Do I do my part to carry the load? Am I willing to do something concrete to help the program? Will I volunteer to give service to others? These are all questions we need to ask ourselves. By doing our part we help to keep the program healthy and in turn the program keeps us healthy. Am I doing my part to grow in and with the program?
Meditations for the Heart
It is in our times of weakness and pain that we perhaps need to find God more than any other. It is in these times that He is most available to us. In these troubling times, we reach out in quiet desperation and we find His Quiet Strength – a Strength, which passes our understanding. It is in these tough times that we struggle most with our daily routine, structure, and responsibilities. Yet it is in these times that we rely on this Quiet Strength to lead us and guide us. This Quiet Strength will renew our courage for the day. This quiet strength will feed us in compassion and will provide us with the energy that we need. It will quiet our unrest and bring us inner peace. This Quiet strength ion always available to us, all we need do is accept it into our lives. This supply of Quiet Strength is ceaseless and will never run out. In it we can be filled with whatever we need for the tasks of the day. Do I seek His Quiet Strength in all that I do?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You do not scream from some mountain top, but instead You come to me in Quiet Strength. Help me to be aware of this Quiet Strength in my day today. Open my eyes this day to the opportunities to give back to the program, for this service will strengthen the program and it will strengthen me. Help me to have a mindset to say yes to these opportunities and to carry my share of the load.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 29

Wisdom for Today
Early in my recovery process, I was overly self-conscious. I feared what other might think if I spoke. I worried about making the right impression. I was fearful about what might happen if I shared my story. I was so worried about what others might think, say, or do that I simply chose to say nothing. I kept my comments inside. What was really going on was a form of self-centered pride. I was putting my image first. What would happen if people really knew me? What would happen if others could see my inner brokenness? This pride kept me closed in and made it impossible for me to make real connections with others in the program.
I would sit in meetings and rehearse in my mind my comments, trying to look good to others. There was little that was genuine or real in what I shared. This certainly was not helping me and was of no benefit to others. I was holding back because I was afraid I would not make the right impression. Night after night I would go to a meeting. I listened to others who shared from their hearts. What they shared was real and filled with truth. Eventually, I began to share what was really going on inside – my thought, my feelings, my beliefs. As I got more honest and let go of my self-centered pride, I began to hear others say they could really relate to what I shared. I began to gain new insights and a healthier perspective on life. Taking the risk of honest self-disclosure, rather than a rehearsed speech began to set me free. Am I still attempting to manage other people’s impressions?
Meditations for the Heart
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God.” This is most important for the addict or alcoholic. When I seek to build my own kingdom, rather than seek to belong to His kingdom, my life gets turned upside down. When I put my will before God’s will, I get all out of sorts. My irritability increases, as things don’t go my way. I become more and more cynical. My frustration increases the more that the kingdom does not turn out as I wish. In seeking His kingdom, I find an inner peace and serenity. I feel comforted to know that His kingdom for me is all good. When I follow His will, I can trust that I will stay securely on the path of recovery. My thinking, and will can lead me off this path, so I seek His wisdom and direction. Even when I am struggling with life’s problems, when I keep His kingdom in my heart, I know that I will end up where I need to be. Do I seek His kingdom for my life.
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Free me from the bondage of self-centered pride. Help me to let go of the fear and need to control others impression. Grant that I may embrace Your kingdom in my heart and walk closely with you as I walk through this day. Let me find freedom in Your truth.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

June 30

Wisdom for Today
I remember the first time I was asked to share my story at a meeting. I was absolutely terrified. I recalled all those speech classes in High School and how nervous I was. When my sponsor asked me to speak at an open meeting; I really wanted to say no, but the word "sure" came out of my mouth. In the day and a half before I was to speak, I sat and thought about what I would say. I really didn't think I had much to offer and was sure that I would make a fool of myself. Hours before the meeting I was sick to my stomach. I called my sponsor and was going to beg out of the responsibility. My sponsor listened to me for a moment and then cut me off. "Talk to your HP and I will see you at the meeting," he said.
So I did talk to God and I asked for the words I needed to say. I asked for the strength and the courage I needed to make it through the next few hours. The meeting began in its usual way and then I was introduced. My mouth was dry and I could not swallow. I could feel beads of sweat on my forehead. I introduced myself and my mind went blank. All the thoughts I had for my talk left my mind. I don't recall much of the rest that I said that night, but I stood there for nearly forty-five minutes sharing. After the meeting many friends in the program and even some I did not recognize came up to me and made statement about how genuine my talk was and how it had been from my heart. Some shared how much it had helped them. No I don't remember what I shared, but I learned a lot about how God would help me and that sharing honestly from the heart was all I needed to do. When I speak at meetings are my comments from the heart?
Meditations for the Heart
In the Lord's Prayer there is a line that goes, "Thy will be done." This is a most important line in this prayer for an alcoholic or an addict. My understanding of this line in this prayer has changed dramatically over time. At first these were words that I simply said, but really did not pay much attention to. Over time I began to pay more attention to these words. The steps really forced me to look at them closer. There were times that I really appreciated these words and there have been times that I have rebelled against these same words. In those times of rebellion, I simply wanted to be back in charge, I wanted to run the show again. Other times when I really appreciated these words, it became clear to me that I had no idea what I was doing and I needed help. As I have grown in recovery I have repeated these words often. Over time I have worded hard to grow in the acceptance of these words. When I have honestly tried to do His will and humbly accepted the results, I have found myself to be happier, at peace, and secure in my recovery. Do I seek to do God's will in all that I do?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This day is just beginning and I know that I must start this day with Your Will being first on my list. Give me the courage and the strength I need this day to follow where You lead me. Let me seek this day to be honest, open and willing to move forward in the direction You lead me. Let me seek to follow You in all areas of my life this day.
Amen