Today's Thought - April

[bluidkiti]

April 16

There the penitents took off their shoes
And walked barefoot the remaining mile.

~Robert Lowell

Some people have to have pain. If dirt doesn't fall on their heads from the sky, they sulk in corners and hope their flesh turns to dust. They do everything the hard way, even when they know better, and often complain and accuse others for their pain.

For people like this, even the song of a bird is a bother. It's better to smile when people like that accuse. It's better to wear shoes when walking on stones, better to take the shortest way. There is weeping and wailing enough in the world, dumps full of worn-out guilt and remorse. When the bird sings, it's better to look up and see that it beats its wings not to punish itself, but to fly.

Do l pity myself when I could be flying?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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April 17

Laughter is the effervescent form of holiness.

~Anne Lamott

For a long time, we didn’t really laugh. It’s surprising when we think about it: we hadn’t really laughed for so long…we almost forgot how good we could feel. It feels so good to laugh again!

Now, our spirits come more alive each day. Now, we feel what alcohol and other drugs stuffed deep inside us. Pain, fear, and anger come up. But so do happiness and joy, thankfulness and a sense of humor. In early recovery, we work through the hard feelings. As we grow in the program, we have more and more room for happiness.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, wake me up to the joy and laughter that today holds for me. Don’t let me miss it!
Action for the Day

Today I’ll spread some laughter. I will learn a joke and tell it to three people.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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April 18

Free man is by necessity insecure; thinking man by necessity uncertain.

~Erich Fromm

We hear comments like “Hang in there!” “Don’t quit now,” and “Don’t give up the ship!” When our outlook is gloomy and pessimistic, we should remember we are not in charge and we are not all-knowing. We cannot predict what will be around the next corner. If a difficult problem looms before us, we cannot be sure what help might also be there for us to meet the problem.

Our compulsion for control tempts us to quit and give ourselves over to defeat. Then the outcome would be settled and predictable. We no longer would have to live with the insecurity of not knowing the future. When we are tempted to indulge in our addictive ways, or to return to a relationship that isn’t good for us, or to face a painful problem, it helps to recall that change is a basic fact of life. However stressful this moment is, it will change. Not at our command, but it will change. We aren’t in control of outcomes, but we can choose now to “hang in there” and to give our energy only toward positive solutions.

May I have the serenity to accept the process and the courage to be true to my part. I will leave outcomes for the future.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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April 19

Becoming forgiving

The lack of a forgiving spirit hurts our spiritual progress. Being unforgiving causes resentment, which is always a danger to our new way of life.

We have learned that if we forgive, we will be forgiven; but if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. So it seems we are just hurting ourselves by not forgiving others.

Am I forgiving?

Higher Power, help me forgive each person I need to forgive today.

Today I will forgive…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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April 20

Reflection for the Day

Any number of addicted people are bedeviled by the dire conviction that if they ever go near the program—whether by attending meetings or talking one-to-one with a member—they’ll be pressured to conform to some particular brand of faith or religion. They don’t realize that faith is never an imperative for membership in the program; that freedom from addiction can be achieved with an easily acceptable minimum of it; and that our concepts of a Higher Power—as we understand it—afford everyone a nearly unlimited choice of spiritual belief and action. Am I receiving strength by sharing with newcomers?
Today I Pray

May I never frighten newcomers or keep away those who are considering coming to the program by imposing on them my particular, personal ideas about a Higher Power. May each discover his or her own spiritual identity. May all find within themselves a link with some great universal Being or Spirit whose power is greater than theirs individually. May I grow, both in tolerance and in spirituality, every day.
Today I Will Remember

I will reach, not preach.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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April 21

Listening is a wonderful gift we can choose to open each day.

Intently listening to each person who crosses our path is a most difficult assignment. But only by listening do we gather our daily lessons and significant messages from our Higher Power. When it’s hard to listen because we don’t like what someone is saying, we have to consider why. Evaluating our own perceptions and letting go of others’ opinions are important lessons.

We all play key roles in each other’s lives. It’s not coincidental that we share this path at this time. The people we meet, work with, live with—all are necessary to our Divine journey. From this program we are gathering the tools that will ease the steps of our journey. Listening is a significant tool. Let’s be glad for every opportunity to strengthen our listening skills.

My mind may wander when I talk with a friend today, but with God’s help, I’ll remember that I need to hear what is said.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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April 22

It’s hard to give away much when you’re the subject of widespread disapproval and your heart is leaking from puncture wounds.

~Barbara Kingsolver

Anger doesn’t necessarily vanish just because we’ve come out or entered recovery. Our best selves would like to be generous to the employer who overlooks us for a promotion, to the old friend who tells us we could change if we’d just set our minds to it, and to the family that asks, “Where did we go wrong?” We’re sick of our old conflicts and resentments, but our anger and sense of injury keep overwhelming our desire to let go.

We need to find safe ways to acknowledge anger and to release the pain it may be covering. A trusted sponsor, a Twelve Step recovery meeting, or a therapist can hear us without denying or condemning our emotions. When we recognize, accept, and express our anger without judging it, we’ll be surprised at the mental and spiritual space we’ve created for new feelings.

Today, I don’t have to act out my anger. I acknowledge it and let it pass through me.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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April 23

Taking Care of Ourselves

We often refer to recovery from codependency and adult child issues as “self-care.” Self-care is not, as some may think, a spin-off of the “me generation.” It isn’t self-indulgence. It isn’t selfishness—in the negative interpretation of that word. We’re learning to take care of ourselves, instead of obsessively focusing on another person. We’re learning self-responsibility, instead of feeling excessively responsible for others. Self-care also means tending to our true responsibilities to others; we do this better when we’re not feeling overly responsible.

Self-care sometimes means, “me first,” but usually, “me too.” It means we are responsible for ourselves and can choose to no longer be victims.

Self-care means learning to love the person we’re responsible for taking care of—ourselves. We do not do this to hibernate in a cocoon of isolation and self-indulgence; we do it so we can better love others, and learn to let them love us.

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s self-esteem.

Today, God, help me love myself. Help me let go of feeling excessively responsible for those around me. Show me what I need to do to take care of myself and be appropriately responsible to others.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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April 24

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We do not have to be perfectly certain before acting. We do not have to feel perfectly confident about the outcome of our behavior. In fact, more times than not when we see people acting with what seems to be supreme confidence, it may indeed be an act. Which doesn’t matter. What matters is that inertia was overcome.

In our recovery, there will surely be many times when we encounter situations where our thoughts and actions fill us with anything but confidence. Regardless of our uncertainty, we need to act boldly, and we need to trust our judgment. Boldness does have genius in it, and magic—the magic of proving to ourselves that we can do what is needed when the time is right. When that is possible, the whole world is within our grasp.

If I can act boldly on one small matter, I can act boldly on two. If I can act boldly on small matters, I can act boldly on large matters. If I keep going, I can’t be stopped.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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April 25

Learn by practice.

~Martha Graham

We were practicing addicts. We were working to perfect our craft; we were good at being addicts. Let us practice recovery with the same intensity. We need to practice the Steps. We need to work to deepen our relationship with them. We must practice patience and tolerance with ourselves and others.

Remember we’re working to be in this for the long haul. We seek humility not perfection, progress not perfection. We seek to learn and better ourselves at being ordinary people. We seek to enjoy the journey, knowing it will never be over. And as we practice and learn, we step deeper into life and sobriety.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, each day help me show up for practice and enjoy the process of learning.
Today's Action

At the end of today, I will take some time and ask, “What did I learn today that will help me live a good, sober life? What will I practice at tomorrow?”

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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April 26

To see, we must stop being in the middle of the picture.

~Satprem

Seeing something from another person’s point of view is an important spiritual awakening. That moment of understanding is a gift. We didn’t expect it, but suddenly it’s there. Our world grows larger because our view of that person changes. That, in turn, deepens our awareness and can deepen the relationship itself. Having others take the risk of sharing themselves is precious because it shows that we have proven worthy of their trust.

It’s a good feeling to sense the immediate connection that comes with understanding someone in a new way. We might experience compassion, love, or respect. One thing is sure: there is no room for the negative in a true moment of awakening.

Such gifts come because we have been willing to search for them, and for that we can give ourselves credit.

May God help me to be truly interested in other people and in who they are.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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April 27

H.A.L.T.

H.A.L.T. = Don’t get too hungry or too angry or too lonely or too tired.

~Anonymous

The fellowship has seen many men and women recover from very low and terrible bottoms. When the Steps are carefully worked, miracles can be expected. The lessons aren’t hard to understand. The signposts to a relapse are well marked. We can learn a lot from people who have fallen away from the program.

Don’t get too hungry. When we are weak physically, it affects our spiritual life. When hungry, eat. We need to stay away from anger altogether. Anger is the breeder of resentments. We have been eaten alive by our grudges. Cool off. Loneliness makes us an easy mark for the many voices that tempt us away from our program. When we feel loneliness coming on, we go to a meeting or use the phone. When we become tired, it is easy for us to remember the substance-induced pick-me-ups we relied on. When we’re tired, we need to rest.

Let me remember to eat the right foods, stay calm, use the fellowship, and rest.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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April 28

When we spiritually awaken, our whole life changes from being hard and painful to becoming easier and happier, more pleasant and pain-free.

~Jerry Hirschfield

Most of us awaken spiritually very slowly. Looking back on our more dangerous times and our miraculous survival helps us to believe that at least something like a guardian angel must have never been far away. And yet, much of the time many of us still struggle with the day-to-day turmoil of our recovery, trying to manage outcomes that are not ours to manage.

We complicate most events by our need to control what is clearly up to God to control. When we let go the outcome is generally to our satisfaction. Always, in time, we see that the outcome benefits us generously. We can’t do what belongs to God to do. Our job is simply to move aside.

The pain of forcing open a door or pushing through a decision can be relinquished forever if we simply trust God. Life is often only as hard and painful as we in our self-centeredness make it.

I will not try to do God’s work today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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April 29

When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life's flow are unending.

Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts, to one another's daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God's path to us and through us.

To live means sharing one another's space, dreams, sorrows; contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other, we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life.

We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution.

What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today!

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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April 30

Love at first sight is easy to understand. It’s when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.

~Sam Levenson

True intimacy introduces us to ourselves. A loving relationship is the greatest therapy. When we first fall in love, we are filled with optimism. We cling to all the best qualities of the person we fall in love with, and we look past those things we don’t like. But an intimate partnership takes us further than we’ve been before.

Most of us fall in love and soon find ourselves in over our heads. We haven’t had experience in sustaining openness and vulnerability. We may gradually begin to feel too exposed. The relationship tests our ability to trust someone who has this much access to our inner self. We become cranky or overly sensitive. We may test our partner’s love by asking, “If you love me, will you do such and such?” We begin to try to control our partner so we don’t feel so vulnerable. All these temptations are holdover behaviors from our less mature selves. So we must reach for our more mature selves and trust that we can survive being so vulnerable.

Today, I will turn to my Higher Power for guidance in going forward in trust while being vulnerable.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*