Today's Thought - December

[bluidkiti]

December 1

Take the matter of being born. What does being born mean to most people?

~e. e. cummings

Somewhere in this meditation book each of us will find our birthday. It may cause us panic and trauma. It may be a day that reminds us we are getting older. For many adult children, it causes sadness because it reminds them of their childhood birthdays.

Whatever that special day has meant to us in the past, we are in control of what it can mean now and in the future.

A birthday, like any yearly holiday, is a symbol, a time to reflect and remember a special meaning. The special meaning of birthdays can become a reminder that we are called on to be reborn regularly. Seeing new beauty is a kind of rebirth. Making a decision, no matter how small, that enhances our life is a form of rebirth. Moving on to a new place, a new state of freedom, is being born again. Every day can be a birthday.

Today, I am celebrating the birth of a wholly worthy human being. Any day I choose can be another birthday.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

[bluidkiti]

December 2

Reflection for the Day

If we felt guilty, degraded, or ashamed of either our addiction itself or the things we did while "under the influence," that served to magnify our feelings of being outcasts. On occasion, we secretly feared or actually believed that we deserved every painful feeling; we thought, at times, that we truly were outsiders. The dark tunnel of our lives seemed formidable and unending. We couldn't even voice our feelings and could hardly bear to think about them. So we soon drank or used again. Do I remember well what it used to be like?
Today I Pray

May I remember how often, during my days of active addiction, I felt alone with my shame and guilt. The phony jollity of a drinking party or the shallow relationships struck up at a bar could not keep me from feeling like an outsider. May I appreciate the chance to make new friends through the fellowship of the group. May I know that my relationships now will be saner, less dependent, more mature.
Today I Will Remember

Higher Power, thank you for new friends.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

[bluidkiti]

December 3

Believing in the possibility of change gives us hope.

For a long time, with little or no success, we have struggled to make others do as we wish. We can't control people, no matter how sophisticated our manipulations are. If they want to drink, they do. If they want to lie, they do. We just can't stop them!

With the help of our friends in this program, we are learning a better way to live. We hear laughter in their voices. We see serenity in their faces. We know from their stories how similar our struggles have been. But they are free from despair. And we can be too.

We can change. We are changing. Believing in change makes it possible.

My affirmation today is "I can be as hopeful and happy as I decide to be."

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

[bluidkiti]

December 4

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many of us voluntarily assume extra responsibilities in our workplaces, homes, communities, or families of choice. Perhaps, though we may not be able to acknowledge it, we hope to be repaid in some way. It's useful to take a look at the motives underlying our giving. When we offer service to an organization, a recovery program, or a friend or family member, we may secretly expect that our good deeds will be rewarded by acclaim, popularity, or love.

When we can let go of any hidden agendas for our giving, we're blessed. The more freely and generously we give of ourselves, the freer we are of stress, resentment, and burnout. If we've taken on more than we can handle, if we've lost the appetite for giving, if we're always counting the cost, it's time to look searchingly at our expectations. When we are able to give from our love for others, our hearts expand with joy.

Today, generosity flows from me.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

[bluidkiti]

December 5

Letting Go of Worry

What if we knew for certain that everything we're worried about today will work out fine?

What if…we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we'd be grateful for that problem, and its solution?

What if…we knew that even our worst fear would work out for the best?

What if…we had a guarantee that everything that's happening, and has happened, in our life was meant to be, planned just for us, and in our best interest?

What if...we had a guarantee that the people we love are experiencing exactly what they need in order to become who they're intended to become? Further, what if we had a guarantee that others can be responsible for themselves, and we don't have to control or take responsibility for them?

What if...we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way?

What if...we knew everything was okay, and we didn't have to worry about a thing? What would we do then?

We'd be free to let go and enjoy life.

Today, I will know that I don't have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

[bluidkiti]

December 6

Twelfth-Stepping

Our addictive personalities can produce unexpected twists in character: many of us can't stand practicing addicts of any kind. It feels old to Twelfth-Step someone who reminds us so sharply of where we came from. Who wants to get up at three o'clock in the morning to Twelfth-Step someone who's high and probably won't remember what you said anyway?

What's the use? we may ask. We're the use! Twelfth-Stepping is something we need to do to stay clean and sober. We may not like it all the time, but it keeps us growing.

Do I always carry the message to those who still suffer?

Higher Power, give me the strength, patience, and love it requires to Twelfth-Step those who still suffer.

Today I will work on tolerance by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

[bluidkiti]

December 7

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

~Mark Twain

When we take Step Eight, we think about people we have harmed and make a list of them. We may have cheated, lied to, beaten up, or stolen money from these people. Some are people we asked to love us.

When we love someone, it changes us forever. It changes how we think about our lives. Loving someone makes us open and raw and tender and real. It makes us loyal and attached to one person.

If we asked someone to love us, we must pay attention to how our disease has affected him or her. Perhaps we couldn't help it, but this person was probably hurt very badly. How can we help him or her heal? How can we help this special individual trust again and love again?

This is one of the hardest problems we face in recovery. We can get help from professional counselors as well as our recovery friends when dealing with tough relationship issues.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me face the pain my disease has caused those who love me. Help me carefully decide how to make amends.
Today's Action

Who are the people in my life that I am attached to? Is it a good attachment? What can I do about the attachments that are hurtful?

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

[bluidkiti]

December 8

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

~One Day at a Time in Al-Anon

Nothing freezes us in our tracks like fear. How many times have we let fear stop us from doing what we really wanted to do? Maybe we wanted to change jobs, be honest with a friend, ask someone for a date, buy a home. But we couldn't because we were afraid. The truth is, the moment our fear takes control, our self-will also takes control.

The first thing to do is to admit to ourselves that we're afraid. The second is to find out why. Discovering why may mean calling a friend to talk, praying, taking an inventory of ourselves, going to a meeting. To feel the fear lift is to have ourselves back again. Then, when we know how we feel, we'll know what to do.

Can I accept my Higher Power's help and the help of others when I'm afraid? Emotional balance and serenity unclouded by fear are the gifts of recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

[bluidkiti]

December 9

Praying

Trying to pray is praying.

~Anonymous

"Oh, God, help me! If you get me out of this mess, I'll never screw up again." This was our favorite prayer before we entered the program. We were always bargaining with God.

We have learned new prayers and a new way to talk and listen to our Higher Power. We are seeking God's will for us. Many of us had to learn how to pray. We began with very simple prayers: "God, help me know Your will for me." "Thank you, God, for helping me today."

We learn that prayer helps us with our faulty dependence on people, places, and things by giving us the insight and strength to rearrange our priorities. Prayer doesn't change God, but it changes those who pray.

Today in my prayers, I will seek my Higher Power's will for me. I no longer bargain with God.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

[bluidkiti]

December 10

Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries.

~Corita Kent

When we quiet our mind, bypassing our thoughts about the hour or day before, or our fear over what may come tomorrow, we can more easily relish each moment - this moment. We too often succumb to the seduction of worrying about the past and future, which are beyond our control.

Our unwillingness to give up this obsessive thinking keeps the joy and serenity we long for out of reach. We forget that the power lies within us to clear our mind and to fully experience the peace of the moment. Quieting our mind requires commitment and practice. We can circumvent any thought and experience moments of peace - a peace that will become as seductive as our old obsession to worry.

I will choose to give up worry today and enjoy many peace-filled moments instead.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

[bluidkiti]

Decembers 11

Just by speaking I can break out of my self?made prison.

~June Singer

For many of us guys, words don't come easily. Maybe we have strong feelings, strong thoughts, and important things on our mind, but they may not translate easily into spoken words. Even as toddlers, little boys don't generally start to speak as early as little girls do. But that is no excuse for not working at it. Some of the most difficult challenges produce the most creative responses.

Something magical happens when the unspoken is finally spoken. A little of our private world is finally known by another human being. Even more than that, we finally know more clearly what is on our minds when we put words to it and hear ourselves say it. We may not even know that we are in a self-made prison of silence until we start to break out of it. Talking - finding words to say what is on our mind - is a big part of our healing process.

Today, I will talk to someone about a feeling, a memory, or an unanswered question.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

[bluidkiti]

December 12

We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people's issues.

~Melody Beattie

Learning to respect boundaries, our own and other people's, eliminates much of the stress that hinders relationships. Accepting the behaviors and the opinions of our friends as legitimate for them allows our relationships to teach us tolerance and patience and love. Our journey on this planet is not about "fixing" or controlling others, but about loving them wholly, just as we want to be loved.

We need other people. Our humanity is enhanced by our mutual experiences. But we also need to let others learn from their mistakes and their own experiences, rather than to help them avoid what they need for their growth. We hate to see our friends in pain. Our compassion is triggered when trouble trips them. But their journey must be inviolate. We'll only prolong their struggle by intervening where we aren't needed.

It's hard to back away when a friend is in trouble. But telling her I love and support her may give her the strength she needs.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

December 13

AA Thought for the Day

Second, alcoholics recover their faith in a Power greater than themselves. They admit that they're helpless by themselves and they call on their Higher Power for help. They surrender their lives to God, as they understand Him. They put their drinking problem in God's hands and leave it there. They recover their faith in a Higher Power that can help them. Have I recovered my faith?
Meditation for the Day

You must make a stand for God. Believers in God are considered by some as peculiar people. You must even be willing to be deemed a fool for the sake of your faith. You must be ready to stand aside and let the fashions and customs of the world go by if it means that God's plans are thereby forwarded. Be known by the marks that distinguish a believer in God. These are honesty, purity, unselfishness, love, gratitude, and humility.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be ready to profess my belief in God before others. I pray that I may not be turned aside by the skepticism and cynicism of unbelievers.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

[bluidkiti]

December 14

To affect the quality of the day - that is the highest of the arts.

~Henry David Thoreau

We are the sculptors of our day. We can mold it creatively into a wonderful masterpiece. We control the amount of moisture we mix into our clay. We pound it, shape it, stroke it, love it.

Others can offer suggestions, and we gain new perspectives from their advice, but it is finally our own creation. Our knife may occasionally slip, or our mixture of earth may be too dry. Any great artist suffers temporary setbacks. Besides, imperfections in art often make it all the more interesting.

How creative can I be in my life today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

[bluidkiti]

December 15

One forgives to the degree that one loves.

~La Rochefoucauld

We all get hurt by other people sometimes. When this happens, we have choices. We can get angry and stay that way. We can act like it didn't hurt and try to forget it. We can act like a sad sack and hold a grudge. Or we can forgive.

We first have to think about how someone hurt us. It often helps to talk to the person, to tell the person that he or she hurt us. We then tell the person what we'd like from him or her to help set our relationship straight. Then we let go.

This is what forgiveness is: first, loving ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves; second, loving others enough to point out their behavior; and third, letting go.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me lovingly forgive those who have hurt me.
Action for the Day

I will list five persons who have hurt me. Have I forgiven them? I will talk to my sponsor about it today.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*