The Little Black Bug

[MajestyJo]

THE LITTLE BLACK BUG



The little black bug climbed up into the tree
Why? Oh why did it have to be little old me?
All I did was climb up to see the world better;
But what should I see, but the leaves turned under
Now it means it's going to rain and pore.
The weather will change and there'll be thunder,
And with my luck, I'll be washed away
To some far distant shore I've never been
And IF I should be so lucky, I'll find a new place to explore.
That is, IF I don't get drowned, if that branch doesn't give way.
Or IF some fat froggy doesn't get hungry for bug souffle.
I may end up in buggy heaven and meet that chick
I met last week at the country store
who clicked her heels, and turned up her nose,
And got ate by the bug next door.
I can see the long legs yet,
Oh goodie! Oh goodie! Oh goodie!

This was the first poem I wrote in recovery thirteen years ago. It is so negative, and portrays a perfect picture of my attitude back then. Always expecting the worst, full of doom and gloom. If you live in the negative, you draw it to you.

I am so grateful that I don't have to go there anymore. I have heard several people say, "If you look at the worst scenario, then whatever happens, you will be prepared and then you can be grateful that it wasn't as bad as you expected it to be! Sorry, this is putting the cart before the horse for me. I am what I feed my soul, and if I feed myself negative, then that is what I will get in return. No Thanks! That isn't recovery to me, that is living and acting out old behaviors and patterns.

Posted on my site Soundness of Mind in 2005
I had 13 years then, and here I am creeping up on 22. So grateful for each day.

[MajestyJo]

Showed this to a friend in my building who wrote poetry. He said, "Jo, this isn't only sad and bad, it is funny."

[mahi]

I was told to make a list of what I wanted to do in early recovery. That was because I was in an alcohol and drug fog (we don't detox for about a year), and now I am in a Fibro Fog. I was also told, not to beat myself up if I don't get everything done. Take a moment at what you did do, and you will often find that you did so much more. Your God just had different plans for you. For me, housework will never go away, but a chance to catch a sunny day and go out and connect with the Creator, is just too good to miss.





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[MajestyJo]

Thank you and welcome. You must have heard the echo of my voice, I could have written the same words. I too have the Fibro Fog, and it is bad when the Fibro comes out of remission.

That is what happened today, I had a hurting day after being on the computer too much yesterday. At 4 p.m. I made the decision to take my body for a walk, even though the pinched nerve in my neck wouldn't let me move my head back and forth, my right knee hurt and did it's thing, and my left hip kept going out. I ended up going grocery shopping and enjoyed the sun while waiting for the bus.

I too was told not to beat myself up, but to look at what I did, instead of what I didn't do. My God had other plans for me and often when I detoured into a new way, good things happened, like many blessings and many friends.

Hope you will continue to come and share your journey with us.