Greetings and salutations!!

[funktup]

Just dropping in because I feel like dropping out
yet I know that won't help me at all.
I'm having a bit of a struggle making real life friends so I thought
I'd try making some online ones in lieu of, at least for now.
I don't bite (very hard anyway), so your welcome would likely mean a lot
to me at this time.
I'm new to this site but not to recovery or 12 step programs.
My choice of color for this text reflects how I feel at present.

Any and all rays of would be most appreciated!!

[MajestyJo]

Welcome Funktup, have been there, wore the T-shirt, but we don't have to stay there. I was told to go back to basics. Do what I did when I first came into recovery. Don't think to hard and figure it out, just work your program. What aren't you doing that you did before to get sober. We don't have to pick up to slide back in our recovery.

This is one day at a time. Even this morning is past, and we can start a new day any time. For me, I am powerless over people, places, and things, and my life is unmanageable when managed by me. Just for today, I just not to use.

My prayers are with you. Hugs.

[funktup]

Thanks Jo, for your concern. I know too well about the passage of time. I'm fairly certain that my tomorrow's are fewer in number than my yesterday's and get even less with each 'one day at a time'. Sometimes a slogan or cliche though just doesn't fix my problems no matter how well intentioned. My sorrows are perhaps not as great as those of, oh maybe those parents whose sons were beheaded by terrorists overseas but I doubt that they are of the opinion that they can just 'choose to have a better day' anytime they want to. Maybe their prayers, if they pray, bring them solace but mine do not. Sometimes a life can stay dark for more than just twenty four hours at a time.

I feel as though I made it to the top of the mountain, some time back but once I had reached that pinnacle, what then? Enjoy the view? I did that but eventually, after you climb as high as is possible and if you keep moving forward, you begin to descend that great height that you once struggled to climb. I'm as powerless over most things as anyone else but I've been climbing the hill longer than many and in so doing, I'm tired. I don't have the strength that I once did, nor the fire within to climb on and on forever. Every journey has a beginning but every journey also has an ending as well. I wish mine were over. Maybe it is at that.

Life starts out as simple but the longer it goes on, the less simple it stays. Some mountains I've encountered have taken more than just twelve small steps to surmount. And on the journey down, on the way to the next hill to climb, I sometimes find myself caught between a rock and a hard place. This is one of those times and it will pass, I know that. A kidney stone usually passes too but that doesn't make the experience a pleasant one.

I don't know that I was or am looking for solutions to anything. I mainly was looking to be noticed. You were the first and as of this writing the only one to acknowledge that I was noticed and for that I am grateful. But maybe this place isn't the right one for me. I'm going to start my day over now. May yours be as pleasant as I wish mine to be. Adieu

[bluidkiti]

Hey funktup, So glad to have you join us here. I am around everyday but yesterday and today have been busy with me having things I needed to take care of. I do hope you will continue to come and share with us here. You will find some of us share daily in the Daily Check In Forum - http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=8 . Have a great weekend!

[MajestyJo]

Just a QUICK QUESTION. Have you been back looking outside of yourself instead of going with in to the Source?

Have you been burning out and not getting re-feuled? We need to get topped up when we keep giving and using, especially if it is our energy and not given with spiritual and healthy motives and intent. It can't be for what you get back. The pink clouds are good and you can stay there, but maybe you should ask yourself why? Is it time to come back to earth? We are spiritual beings walking an earthly walk.

I dear friend in recovery said, "You never have to leave as long as you remember to leave and know the way back."

I got very, very tired to day. I had what seemed like I had a lot to do. There is a storm brewing. It was hot and humid. To me, it seemed like everything needed to be done at once. I asked myself, what is first things first. Of course that was easy, my sobriety. As my sponsor said, "If you have sobriety, show it," so I went into the shower. Said a prayer as I started post, said another prayer as I stopped posting for motivation and good orderly direction, as I was going to the elevator and realized I had to come back to my apartment, I said the 3rd and 7th Step prayers, and things unfolded as it should.

The only caution I got was my blood pressure I got was it went from 153 to 177, so I told myself eat, relax and take care of yourself. After doing affirmations it is down time, either sleeping or read more of my book, unless something else makes itself known.

One day at a time. Less than 4 hours to go and it is a new day. Messages can come in but they can be dangerous.