Wisdom For Today - November

[bluidkiti]

November 1

Wisdom for Today

Surrender is more than simply understanding that I can’t run the show my way anymore. Understanding that I am an addict and an alcoholic and that my way doesn’t work does not produce change. Insight, knowledge and understanding do nothing if I don’t change my behavior. Surrender is something I must do behaviorally. Simply saying I give up is not enough. I must become willing, open and honest in my surrender to a Higher Power.

What this means is that I constantly must seek out advice and suggestions from others in the program and then evaluate each of the ideas I receive. I must ask myself, “What would God want me to do?” I must become willing to let go and follow the suggestions I get. When my behavior and thinking are in line with God’s will for me, then I know that I have truly surrendered. Sometimes this means doing things and making choices that go against what I want. Yet what I want cannot be important if it goes against what my Higher Power would want for me. Does my behavior show that I have really surrendered?

Meditations for the Heart

Spirit power comes from spending quiet time in prayer and meditation. I always need to ask God, “What do you want me to do?” I need to listen to my head and heart to find this answer. When my head and heart both agree with what I know God would want me to do, then I know that I have the answer I need. Particularly early on in my recovery, I found that many of the answers I got were not the answers I wanted to hear. But if I was going to really surrender my will, I needed to put these answers into action. I have always been amazed when I do this. The outcome of surrender has always been positive for me. This does not mean the process was easy; in fact, often times it was very hard. But each time I let go and turn my will and my life over to the care of God, I find that I am made stronger. I find that I am able to handle the things that used to baffle me. Do I spend time each day seeking to be Spirit-powered?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
It is so easy for me to get off track when I don’t listen for Your direction in my life? Today give me ears to hear Your “still, small voice” and the willingness to follow Your instruction. Help me to understand that the only way that I can find freedom is to surrender to Your will. Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 2

Wisdom for Today

Surrendering our addictive living over to God does not mean we will never be tempted to drink or use again. Most of us, including I myself, have had times when we experience cravings or urges to use. Most of us have entertained thoughts of using again. In order to be ready for these times, it is important for us to be prepared. An important part of this preparation for me has been to get myself into the right frame of mind each day. Through prayer, meditation and reading, I find that I can keep my mind off of using and on recovery.

When I give my problems over to God, I no longer need to be fearful. I can build up my strength and be confident that God will help me in my struggle. As time passes, staying clean and sober gets easier and easier. It is important for me to stay centered in gratitude. I no longer have to live my life as I did before. Gratitude keeps me focused on what God is doing for me every day of my life. Do I see each day clean and sober as a gift?

Meditations for the Heart

Simply being rid of my desire for alcohol and drugs did not bring me happiness. There was much more to do. Eliminating selfish thinking and behavior was also needed. It was only when I stopped focusing on me and began to focus on “we” that a spark ignited in me. As I began to see that my Twelve Step groups were about helping each other, I began to understand that I had a responsibility to reach out and help others, just as I had been helped. This was difficult at first, because I was unsure of what to say. But as I began to see that all I needed to do was share my experiences and leave the rest up to God, I found that elusive happiness. Am I working to eliminate selfish thinking and behavior?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today is a gift from You, for I know that I cannot stay clean and sober on my own. Give me a willingness to accept the responsibility to carry the message to others. Help me to be free of selfish thinking and behavior. Let me seek out an attitude of gratitude today.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 3

Wisdom for Today

Early in the recovery process I ran into a serious problem. There was this gift called recovery that God wanted to give me, but I wanted to earn it. I felt like after all the crazy and hurtful things I had done that I somehow had to earn this gift. I was working very hard at trying to work a “perfect” program so that I could say, “I deserve it.” I was working hard at recovery and getting nowhere fast. This didn’t last long because I got discouraged quickly. Why wasn’t I getting the serenity and happiness that everyone else had?

Then I would go in the opposite direction. I began to feel like maybe I really didn’t deserve this gift called recovery. Perhaps I was too bad. I snuck into meetings with my head hung low. I was bent over with this load of shame that I carried on my back. Accepting that I had a disease was relatively easy. There was lots of evidence. Learning to accept recovery was much harder. The reality was that I could not earn it. The reality was that I didn’t deserve it. Yet God was offering it to me freely. All I had to do was accept it. God knew I was ready; it was me that was unsure. Do I accept this free gift called recovery?

Meditations for the Heart

Fear can be healthy, and it can be very destructive. Fear tells me not to spend time with people who are actively drinking and using drugs. Fear tells me not to walk in front of a bus cruising down the street. Fear tells me not to ingest poison. Healthy fear is based in commonsense. But there is also destructive fear. This fear tells me that I can’t make the changes I need to make. Destructive fear tells me that I have to hide my faults. But most destructive is the fear that destroys hope. We cannot allow this kind of fear into our heart. The only way to do this is to replace this fear with love. When we carry the love of God in our heart and have faith that God, as our Higher Power, will indeed care for us, we have no room for destructive fear in our heart. Do I carry God and His love in my heart?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,

Each time I think about what You have done for me, I am speechless. I did nothing to deserve recovery, and I did nothing to earn it. You provided it freely. Thank You for opening me up to accept this wonderful gift. Walk with me and let me carry Your love in my heart this day.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 4

Wisdom for Today

Once I turned my addiction over to God, I could begin to breathe easier, or at least I thought I could. But in turning things over and not running the show my way anymore, I soon discovered there was a catch. In turning over my will and my life to God's care, I needed to now cooperate with God. This meant asking for direction and then listening for the answer. So I would go to meetings and talk about the problems I was having in my life. I would get all kinds of stories from others and how they handled similar problems. I would visit with my sponsor and discuss the various options and suggestions I had heard at the meetings. Then I would pray. Soon I knew in my heart what it was that I was to do.

This was a problem. I didn't always like the answers and direction I was getting. Sometimes I even became angry at what my heart was telling me. Still, if I really was going to fully surrender, I could not argue but only follow the suggestions. To my surprise, I soon found myself getting better. My health improved. My thinking became clearer. My emotions settled down; and, best of all, the problems started to disappear. Something was happening to me. I was being transformed from an active alcoholic and addict into a recovering one. I even began to get brief glimpses of serenity. Do I cooperate with God's plans for me?

Meditations for the Heart

The spiritual aspects of the program must be learned. For me it was very much like learning to crawl and then learning to stand up. Next came taking my first steps and learning to walk the walk. There are even times now that I feel like I can even jog a little bit. Someday I hope to learn to run. My first prayers were very simple, things like, "God, help me, 'cuz I can't help myself." As I grew in my relationship with God, I found that each time I talk to Him it is a prayer. Sometimes I pray for strength. Sometimes I pray in gratitude. Sometimes I pray for wisdom, and still other times I pray for courage. As I continued to grow up spiritually and became less self-centered, I even began to pray for others. I know I still have much to learn spiritually, but I know I have many good teachers in the program. I also trust that God will continue to teach me along the way.

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today I know that You will require much of me. I also know that it is my place to listen and follow. Help me to be a good listener. Give me willingness to cooperate with You and follow where Your will takes me. Help me always to seek You out along the way.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 5

Wisdom for Today

Quitting drinking and drugging was only the beginning of my recovery. I found out that I had to go to meetings for more than just abstinence from my addiction. I had to go to meetings in order to change my thinking and my behavior. My thinking was all messed up. I continued to behave like an addict. Just because I stopped drinking and using didn't mean that I was okay. I still found myself wanting to manipulate, lie and play all the games I played when I was using. If I was ever going to stay in recovery, I knew I had to change. I needed to be re-educated. This is what meetings were for. It was the only place I could get the education I needed to change my thinking and behavior.

Going to school was not easy for me. In recovery I found myself wanting to skip classes just like I did in high school and in college. I found myself not wanting to study or do my homework. Yet if I was going to cooperate with God, I had to go to meetings. I had to study the program literature, and I had to work the steps. Opening up and exposing my thinking was not easy. I was afraid that everyone would think I was crazy or judge me. This is not what happened. In the fellowship I found people who, like me, needed to change their thinking and behavior. I was not judged but accepted. Am I willing to expose my thinking to others in the program?

Meditations for the Heart

Early in recovery I was told, "It's not about quantity, but about quality." I was surprised by this remark. I had thought the goal was simply to put a lot of 24 hours together. I figured the person with the most time was the winner. I had heard the slogan, "Stick with the winners," and assumed that the winners were those with the most time. Then when I was talking with an old-timer, he told me that quality is what was important. I was beginning to string together several 24 hours, but I had no idea how to find quality in recovery. So I asked the old-timer, "How do I find quality?" He said, "Share the fellowship, stay Spirit-minded and learn the lessons." I was dumb-founded. I thought about what he said and had no idea where or how to begin. The next time I saw him at a meeting I asked him to be my sponsor. Do I have a good instructor for the classroom of recovery?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
There are so many lessons to be learned if I am to find this thing called quality. Help me to stay motivated and always curious. Let me keep asking questions, and thank You for the wonderful teachers in the program You have introduced me to. Today help me to be a good student.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 6

Wisdom for Today

Turning our addiction over to God is not something we can do absolutely. If I were capable of an unwavering faith and could let go of my addiction completely, then I could "breathe easy." But the fact is that my faith is not complete, and I am not capable of turning it over to God absolutely. So I must always work at strengthening my faith and building my trust in God. I need to attack any reservations that I have in this regard because if I am not building myself up in my faith, then I am going to wind up relying on myself again. I cannot afford to rely on myself. I know where that road leads already.

To build up my faith I need to keep going to meetings and listen to other people share their struggles and triumphs. I need to share my own spiritual struggles. I need to reflect back on my journey in recovery. As I look back, I spend time looking for evidence that the hand of God has been there to point the way for me. It is much easier to trust in my Higher Power when I see so clearly that He indeed walks the path with me. I also see how often He has carried me; for many times along the journey, I have not been able to walk the walk. Fortunately God has been there to do for me what I could not do on my own. Do I work to build up my faith in my Higher Power?

Meditations for the Heart

Learning to "Keep It Simple" has not been easy. You see, I seem to enjoy complicating things. I do this in lots of different ways. Sometimes I just like to worry about tomorrow, and at other times I just get hung up regretting the past. In both cases I am not living in today. Sometimes I like to “awful-ize” and make life much worse than it actually is. At other times I seem to look at life through rose-colored glasses. Sometimes I complicate life by trying to think with my heart rather than my mind. This leaves me reacting to all my emotions rather than using commonsense. It is not easy to keep it simple; but if I can stay in today and live life the way my Higher Power would want me to, it gets easier. I have found out that if I live the way my Higher Power would want me to live, life is simple. Do I complicate my life rather than keeping it simple?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today let me live my life as You would want me to live. Help me to keep things simple. Give me the courage to continue to grow spiritually, and let me grow in faith.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 7

Wisdom for Today

I can't take any credit for my sobriety at all. I didn't stop drinking or using drugs by virtue of my own willpower or by something I did. I had nothing to do with it. Every time I tried to quit on my own or control my use I eventually failed. Abstinence was not something I could achieve. Control was out of the question. My recovery is simply the result of the grace of God.

Surrender was my only option. I had to admit defeat and accept that I was helpless and powerless when it came to my addiction. It was only when I finally owned up to this reality and honestly prayed for help that a door was opened for me. My Higher Power then knew I was ready. I became willing to let go absolutely and give my life and my will over to God, as I understand Him. I can take no pride in achieving abstinence or recovery. It was not something I did, but it was something that was done for me. It was a free gift. Do I have a grateful heart for what has been done for me?

Meditations for the Heart

Learning to turn my life over was perhaps the most difficult part of the process of recovery for me. Learning that I needed to check things out with my Higher Power before I acted was not easy. Asking God for direction and then following the direction given me is not always easy. There are still times that I want to take back control. There are still times when I get willful or stubborn. Whenever I do this, I find that my life gets off track. I am repeatedly forced to go back to this basic step. It is through this process that I have been changed. Relying on His strength makes this change possible. The only way I can accomplish progress is through, with and in God's power. Am I willing to walk with, work through and live in God's grace just for today?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Each day I know I need to turn my will and my life over to Your care. Sometimes this is hard. Forgive me when I get stubborn, and help me to get back on track. Let me walk with You, work through You and live in Your grace today?
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 8

Wisdom for Today

Strength training requires regular workouts, lifting weights and exercise. Strength training in recovery isn't very different. If I want to strengthen my faith, I need to exercise it. I do this in a variety of different ways. I need to have regular workouts. This happens when I continually talk to my Higher Power. In prayer I talk to God and tell Him about my needs. I talk to Him about what I am grateful for, and I talk about the help that I seek. I also need to lift up the heavy weights in my life - those problems, emotions and thinking I find especially heavy or troubling. I exercise my faith when I share openly at meetings. I trust that God will use my words to help others, but I also trust that He will use my words to help me as well.

When another addict or alcoholic approaches me, I recognize quickly that there is little I can offer except my experience, good and bad. When they come back and tell me that something I said helped them, I have to remind myself that it is not my words but how God is using them. I always thank these individuals not because of what they said, but because of the example that they give me that God does want to help addicts and alcoholics. Finally, after a good workout, I need to rest quietly and simply absorb what has happened. When I do this, I find that my faith has been strengthened. Do I exercise my faith?

Meditations for the Heart

Sometimes I am asked how to listen to God. There is no easy answer to this question. In part that’s true because each addict or alcoholic understands God in his own way. For some individuals, G-O-D means Group of Drunks or Druggies. When this is the case, listening to G-O-D becomes listening to the group conscious of the program. In this case it is trust that God works in and through the fellowship. For others, G-O-D stands for Good Orderly Direction. In this case listening to what the mind knows is healthy leads us to God's voice. For some of us God is the One we came to know through our religious upbringing. In this case, I have found that listening as a little child listens to a caring parent helps me. I find answers in my heart and in my mind. As I have grown in my understanding of God, I have come to believe that all of these methods work. I guess He is what we need and talks to us in a way we can understand regardless of who we are. Do I hear God's voice in some way?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
In this day I know that I will be facing many different situations. Help me to exercise my faith regularly throughout the day. Let me carry the weights in my life to You and trust that You will lead me to the answers I need. Help me to listen for Your voice as I walk the path of recovery.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 9

Wisdom for Today

With all the noise and confusion I have in my life, it is important for me to take time for quiet time each day. It is in these quiet times that I find my relationship with God, as I understand Him, is improved and maintained. It is in these quiet times that I learn to depend on my Higher Power. Then when I am caught up in the noise and confusion of my day, I find it is easier to turn back to God for help along the way. In these quiet times I can both talk to and listen to God. I can meditate on the things that are important and learn to stay focused.

It is so easy to get distracted when I don’t take this time each day. For me it is something I do early in my day before the volume gets turned up. I also find that if I take time at the end of my day and reflect on how I was helped throughout the day, it is easier to have a grateful heart. When I find that I am being distracted away from what is important, I can stop for a few minutes of quiet reflection and get refocused. Do I seek out direction for what is most important in my life?

Meditations for the Heart

When seeking understanding of God, it is important to ask the right questions. It is easy to get caught up in asking ourselves, “What do I want God to be?” Perhaps a better question to ask is, “Am I open to let God reveal Himself to me?” God is who He is. To try and make God fit into a mold and be what we want is a silly attempt to try and control God. This is not to say that we cannot imagine the attributes that God has. Personally I find that it is easy for me now to see God as a friend. He cares and is also willing to be brutally honest with me. This has not always been my understanding, but one I had to grow into. This growth only occurred when I was willing to be open to God's showing me who and what He is. Have I stopped trying to make God into what I want Him to be?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today as I start my day, let me think about You as a friend. Help me to be open to Your showing me how to grow in my faith. Let me remain focused on that which is important in my life. Help me to look to You in all that I do this day and to thank You for all that You do for me each day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 10

Wisdom for Today

In Step Three of the Twelve Step program we are asked to practice a simple principle – letting go. A story I heard once at a meeting illustrates this point beautifully. There were two men hired by a company to do manual labor. On the first day of the job, the foreman took the men outside and pointed to a large box of tools and told them to move the box to the storage shed. The two men looked at the box and walked over to it. Each one tried to pick up the box by himself, but neither man could do this. They thought about carrying the tools one at a time, but the foreman had wanted the job done quickly; so they finally agreed to help each other. They were able to accomplish the task quickly. Some people think the story should end here, but it does not.

After work the two men began their long walk home. One of the men commented that his back hurt from lifting the box of tools. He said, “That foreman should have never asked us to carry such a heavy load.” The other man just smiled. After walking for almost two miles, the one man said that his back was really starting to hurt a lot. The other man just smiled. After walking for almost four miles, the man whose back was hurting said, “I don’t think I can make it back to town; my back is killing me. You will have to go on without me.” His friend looked at him and smiled and said, “Your back aches because you are still carrying the box. I let go hours ago when we put the box down.” Do I really let go, or do I continue to carry the load?

Meditations for the Heart

At some point in time in our recovery we all must face this struggle. Old habits are hard to break. We surrender these old habits and behaviors to God and ask that He help us with the load. We must learn to let go and not keep carrying the heavy load in our lives. We cannot carry the load of addiction ourselves. We must surrender this to our Higher Power. I believe that this process of letting go is harder than admitting that we have a problem. Yet it is in this step that we find freedom. Addiction is the only game in town that we win by giving up. Am I still trying to run the show my way?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
I am quick to go back and pick up the heavy load of addiction in my life. Help me to let go absolutely and entrust this heavy weight to You. Help me to stay focused on the freedom that comes with working the steps. Guide me along the path as I journey throughout this day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 11

Wisdom for Today

The Bible tells the story of the "Prodigal Son." In real life I lived this same story. I took my life and wasted it on insane living. Everything of any value to me was being destroyed by my addiction. Drinking and drugging led me down a path to destruction. After I had lost my family and my self-respect and anything that resembled hope, I had nowhere to turn. Everything was gone. "When he came to his senses, he said, I will go to my father." This is what an addict or an alcoholic does in the Twelve Step program. I had lost all hope; there was nowhere else to turn. I had to turn to a Power outside of myself.

Sometimes I wonder what caused me to turn to my senses. Somehow in the middle of my insanity, I turned back and looked for an answer. It was not inside of me. Everything I had tried didn't work. It had to be outside of me. I came to believe that I was not the answer. Sanity and wisdom returned. In defeat I found victory. In surrender I found hope and a way out. Have I stopped looking to myself for a way out?

Meditations for the Heart

"Keep it simple, stupid," is a slogan that teaches us that when we complicate life and lose sight of simplicity, I can take my troubles and blow them way out of proportion. I have found that simplicity is a way to unburden myself of heavy loads. When I face my problems honestly and carry them to my Higher Power, I find that I am rewarded with answers or directions for making my problems better. Believe me, it is not always easy to do this; but this simple concept does work. When I try to be my own Higher Power and run the show my way, my problems invariably get worse. When I retreat into denial or pretend that my problems don't exist, eventually they get worse. But when I surrender them to God and ask for His help, things change for the better. They don't always change the way I would expect, but change happens, and the problems do get better. Do I see the simplicity of surrender?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Sometimes I still wander off the path of recovery. I don't drink or use, but I loose sight of the steps and keeping it simple. Each time I do this, things get crazy for me again. I am so grateful that I can turn back to You, God, over and over again to be led back to the path of recovery. Help me keep things simple today.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 12

Wisdom for Today

The alcoholic and addict face many deaths throughout their using career. There is death of relationships, death of careers, death of dreams and in some cases physical death. There is death of our spiritual self and death of who we are. When I was drinking and using, I lost sight of the "real" me and walked around wearing this mask. In recovery I had to rid myself of this mask and once again find the real me. I can remember the day when the tears flowed, and I realized that all that was important to me was dead. I turned to a Higher Power for help, because I knew I could not help myself. I had to find a way to take the mask off and once again face reality.

In the old spiritual song, "Amazing Grace," there is a line that goes, "I once was lost, but now I found, was blind, but now I see." I did not see so well with the mask on. I had become lost. I had experienced many types of death in my life. In the Twelve Step program I found a way out. My life was restored. Once again I could breathe, and there was a new hope for me. In turning my life over to God, I found myself again. The real me was still there. It had been lost, but in surrender I found the real me again. Am I alive again because of the program?

Meditations for the Heart

Every breath I take is a gift. In working the program, I cannot ignore the spiritual aspects of my growth. I need to breathe in the Spirit, who will guide me in all that I do. God's will enables me to accomplish much, for there is little I can do on my own. If I do that which is the will of God, I know and can be confident that my day will be good. Even when problems do exist, when I breathe in this Spirit, I am assured of not being given more than I can handle. Life does not always go the way I would expect or even the way I want; but when I am working my program and have a strong spiritual foundation, I know that God will care for me. When I let my spirit be in harmony with God's Spirit, I trust that we will make wonderful music together. Do I work to keep my spirit in harmony with God's Spirit?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Let me walk through this day with good sight. Help me to have no desire to put my mask back on. Let me not forget the deaths I have already experienced. Give me courage to live this new life in You and in every breath I take.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 13

Wisdom for Today

In recovery the task is not to "get well," but getting well. There is no cure for our disease; it can only be arrested. Our ability to stop drinking and using is not determined by what we do, but by God's grace. However, our ability to stay clean and sober is in large part determined by our willingness to go to meetings, work the steps (all of them) and following where our Higher Power leads us. We have to walk the walk; God reads the road map. If I begin to think that some day I will be well and able to drink or use normally again, I am already in trouble. However, if I think about how to follow God's will for me and pray for power to carry out His wishes, then I will be on the path moving toward getting well. Recovery is about progress and not perfection.

The good news is that I only need to worry about this for twenty-four hours at a time. I know that the experience of thousands of addicts and alcoholics does not lie. Each of us that works a program can indeed make progress toward getting well. Sometimes this progress is slow and painful. At other times it happens so quickly that it seems as if our lives get completely turned upside down. Regardless of how the progress is made, it is still progress. The promises of the Twelve Step program await us all, but we must work for them with the help of our Higher Power. Am I working the program one day at a time?

Meditations for the Heart

It was a good thing that I was so stubborn when I was using. I would not let anything or anyone get in the way of my goal to get drunk or high. You may ask how this was a good thing. Certainly my drinking and drugging simply destroyed everything in my life. It is not the using that I am talking about. It is the stubborn part. I knew deep in my heart that I had an ability to persevere. This has helped me a lot throughout all of my recovery process so far. I knew if I persevered in all that God guided me to do, I would end up on the right side of progress. There have been times when I grew tired or even felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. But if I remained persistent, then things started to change or improve. Sometimes the thing that I needed to be most persistent in was trusting my Higher Power. As long as I kept my hope in God, as I understand Him, I could not fail. Am I as stubborn about my recovery as I was about getting high?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today I want to be persistent in my journey. Help me to persevere in my endeavors to follow where You lead me. Give me strength to carry out the tasks set before me and help me remember I only need to do this one day at a time. Help me to keep my sights on the promises that the program offers and the promises that You offer me as well.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 14

Wisdom for Today

It sure was a crazy ride I was on. The roller coaster of addiction took me up and threw me down. It spun me in circles and flipped me upside down. What made the ride crazy rather than exciting was the fact that I just couldn’t get off the ride. It just kept going around and around. It became a hell on earth for me. I am not talking about all the bad things that happened or problems that occurred, but I am talking about the separation from God. While I was on this roller coaster, I never thought about my relationship with a Higher Power. Sure, like all addicts and alcoholics, I prayed, “God, if you get me out of this one, I will never do it again.” But I really was not interested in what God’s will for me was.

The reality was I couldn’t get off the roller coaster, and only God could get me off the insane ride. I truly consider myself one of the fortunate ones. The AA Big Book says, “There are such unfortunates. They seem to be born that way. But they, too, can get clean and sober, if they have the capacity to be honest.” Everything changed for me when I admitted I couldn’t get off the roller coaster. Nothing I did would make it stop. Only when I surrendered to a Power Greater than myself did the insanity stop. Do I realize honestly that I am fortunate to be off the roller coaster of addiction?

Meditations for the Heart

There is an old prayer that begins, “Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.” In the program it is important for us to realize that we are simply instruments. In spiritual matters it is important for us to be the best instrument we can be. In my addiction, I kept trying to be the conductor leading the orchestra. The music I was making was awful. In recovery I need to be open to God’s plan for me. I need to let Him choose the musical score, and I need to let Him choose how and when I will be played. As I go to meetings, I have seen hundreds and hundreds of alcoholics and addicts making wonderful music together. It is not my job to play every note, just to play my part. Do I work to be an instrument of my Higher Power’s will for me?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
It all begins with honesty and willingness and openness. You have taught me over and over again that the only way I can make beautiful music is to become willing to let You direct and lead the orchestra. Help me to be a good instrument today.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

November 15

Wisdom for Today

Before deciding to quit completely, I felt like I had been caught in a steel trap. I was in a lot of pain because of the crisis that occurred. That convinced me to look for help. I was angry that I had even stepped into this trap. I wanted to find someone or something to blame for setting the trap in the first place. But most of all I was scared, because I knew I couldn’t open the jaws of this trap. Death seemed like a legitimate option. I didn’t know where to turn for help.

I knew this was something that I could not do on my own. All I knew was that I wanted out of the trap. The program showed me a way out. First, I had to admit I couldn’t get out of the trap. Then I had to believe that God could and would open the jaws of this steel trap. Then the steps led me through a time of healing and repair. And finally I had to learn how not to step into the trap again. I did not free myself, but was set free though the steps. Yet with this new freedom came much responsibility. I needed to follow the suggestions of the program. Do I remain thankful for the new freedom I have in recovery?

Meditations for the Heart

I must have a singleness of purpose in spiritual matters. This is to seek out and follow the will of my Higher Power. In all that I do I must become willing to follow His lead. It is easy to get distracted from this singleness of purpose with things of the material world. But I cannot afford to be distracted because when I am, I put myself at risk. I start walking in places that I should not be. I start thinking in ways that will get me in trouble. I cannot allow “my addict” back out to play. I have been in the trap of active addiction and dare not risk stepping back into the jaws of that steel trap. The only way I know to do this is to have this singleness of purpose in my life. Am I learning just how important spirituality is in my recovery?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Let me start this day in gratitude for the new freedom I have. Help me to take responsibility for working the steps in all that I do. Grant me this day spiritual wisdom to follow where I am led. Let me not be afraid to ask You for direction along the way.
Amen.