Rent-A-Sponsor

[MajestyJo]

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[MajestyJo]

I personally had several sponsors, some fired me others, just moved on or didn't move on and I did. I had a co-sponsor (general a Native American woman), a spiritual advisor (a man), and a sponsor in AA, NA, and Al-Anon.

My AA and I are no longer on the same page and I really don't have much to say to her. My Al-Anon sponsor is in California and I am here in Ontario, Canada. The other day, I called my very first sponsor, who fired herself, who I rehired, then let go because I heard her say, "I am an alcoholic, what do you expect." What do I expect, "I expect her as well as myself, to work the steps, change, heal and grow together. I got the feeling she didn't want to get better. Yet having said that, she is one of the most spiritual person that I have ever met.

I had a co-sponsor say to me, "Go within, you have the answers." Go within, connect to your Higher Power and listen for the answers." My reply to her was, "Yes, but I don't know what the quesitons are." I was looking for her to find my answers. All a sponsor can do is guide me. It was important to have a strong network, go to meetings, listen, taken in what I heard, process it, turn it over to my Higher Power, and find what was good for me and my sobriety. Just because someone has a lot of years in sobriety, means they have MY answers. All they can do is share their experience, strength and hope. It is up to us as to what we do with it. Someone with 20 days can help me as much as someone with 20 years, it isn't the messenger, it is the message.

There are days when I seldom turn on music where there is words, I prefer music as I find that words often get in the way. Yet there have been so many times that I have put on a CD and just the words I needed were said. I heard them, I listened because the time was right and my mind was open. I have gone to a meeting, read a chapter in the Big Book or a chapter in the 12 & 12, and words just pop off the page at me. I know I have read them many times before, but that day, they are like something new. They are what I need to hear. Often while readng, my vision will get blurred. When it does, I know to go back and reread because I know it is something I REALLY need to see.

Only you can answer if you need a new sponsor. Have you been totally honest with her? Have you been repeating the same thing over and over again and not done anything about it? Has she shared her esh and you haven't like it and ignored it. Did you take what she said and found that it didn't work for you? Did you put things in your Higher Power's hand? Did you take them back or have you left them there? Have you made your sponsor your Higher Power? Just a few questions that I use to and still do ask myself.

It never ceases to amaze me how I can get my situation, and I can still try to figure it out after saying a prayer. I think of my sponsor and call later, never use to be that way, so it is something God and I need to do some work on.

[erum]

The process of matching newcomer and sponsor is as informal as everything else in A.A. Often, the new person simply approaches a more experienced member who seems compatible, and asks that member to be a sponsor.