Today's Thought - May

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May 1

We have our time together

Sometimes we feel bad because we cannot afford all the things we need or want. Whether or not we have all we want, we can get lost in the quest for material possessions and the happiness we think they will bring.

These thoughts can carry us toward a narrow and cold view of life. But we can return to the spontaneous life that surrounds us. Squirrels still chase each other through the grass. Children still engage in fanciful conversations. The joy of music can still enrich our lives. We have our time together and our imagination. When we take the time to enjoy our connection and express our love, we discover riches of far greater value than material items.

Take this moment to look around you to notice the simple things that give you pleasure.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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May 2

Reflection for the Day

The experiences of thousands upon thousands of people have proven that acceptance and faith are capable of producing freedom from dependence on chemicals. When we apply the same principles of acceptance and faith to our emotional problems, however, we discover that only relative results are possible. Obviously, for example, nobody can ever become completely free from fear, anger or pride. None of us will ever achieve perfect love, harmony or serenity. We'll have to settle for very gradual progress, punctuated occasionally by very heavy setbacks. Have I begun to abandon my old attitude of "all or nothing"?

Today I Pray

May God grant me the patience to apply those same principles of faith and acceptance, which are keys to my recovery to the whole of my emotional being. May I learn to recognize the festering of my own human anger, my hurt, my frustration, and my sadness. With the help of God, may I find appropriate ways to deal with these feelings without doing harm to others or myself.

Today I Will Remember

Feelings are facts.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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May 3

The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed.
--Chamfort

When we are adrift in our addiction, we take ourselves very seriously and often lose contact with reality. We become lost in fantasy and obsession. Life becomes joyless because we can't see beyond our addiction, and we find no real satisfaction there. We lose touch with the joy and humor of life, and we find that everything around us and inside us is grim and dark.

One of the many positive signs of our return to health and sanity is our recovery of the gift of laughter. Each day as we gain more energy and zest of life, we move in to the world and find many things that are humorous, in ourselves and in other people. We laugh and find we are no longer alone.

Laughter is the mark of a healthy, happy human being. Laughter shows that we are truly a part of the human community. It is a sign that we are alive and on the way to recovery.

I am glad that I can laugh again and feel in touch with myself and others.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

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May 4

People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind.
-- W. B. Yeats

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but our intelligence only gets in the way when we're dealing with things that really count -- our feelings and how we express them.

Love is the be all and end all. If we are capable of loving, we have nothing to worry about. If we're having trouble expressing our loving nature, our priority must be to remove the barriers. One of those barriers is our belief in the overriding importance of our intelligence.

Intelligence is like good looks; they are both unearned. And we can be sure that our Creator does not evaluate us on the basis of how intelligent we are. If we ask, God will help us overcome our reliance on our intelligence and all other handicaps that keep us from expressing love.

The best part of my mind links me to others, and to God.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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May 5

Don't take storms personally.

Somewhere out in the Pacific, a storm brewed and swirled and thrashed and died without ever touching the land. Three days, later, under a clear blue sky, the storm surge reached the California coast near Los Angeles. The sea threw rocks at my house, and the waves stacked up and crashed down against the pilings of the foundation. Farther up the street, the ocean ate the back porch of two houses. All night the shoreline trembled and shook from the power of the sea.

The next morning the tide pulled back, the swells calmed, and the sky stayed blue. I walked down the beach, impressed at the way the ocean had littered it with huge chunks of driftwood and rocks. Then I walked back upstairs and drank my morning coffee.

Sometimes storms aren't about us.

Sometimes, friends or loved ones will attack us for no apparent reason. They'll fuss, fume, and snap at us. When we ask them why, they'll say, "Oh I'm sorry. I had a bad day at work." But we still feel hurt and upset.

Hold people accountable for their behavior. Don't let people treat you badly. But don't take the storms in their lives personally. These storms may have nothing to do with you.

Seek shelter if necessary. Get away from hurt friends until they have time to calm down; then approach when it's safe. If the storm isn't about you, there's nothing you need to do. Would you try to stop the ocean waves by standing in the surf with your arms outstretched?

God, help me not to take the storms in the lives of my friends and loved ones too personally.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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May 6

Growing

We all perform on two stages: one public, one private. The Public stage is what we do and say. The Private stage is what we think and what we rehearse in our minds to do on the Public stage. Even though we may never perform it, what we rehearse in our minds helps mold our character and guide our actions.

Are we rehearsing anger, fights, and what we're going to tell that SOB next time? Are we rehearsing drug use, the old ways of living? If so, we are risking the recovery we have achieved.

To keep growing and to keep building character, we need to rehearse kindness, patience, and love. We need to practice awareness of our Higher Power in our lives.

Am I growing?

May I practice kindness, patience, and love in all my affairs today.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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May 7

Presence

"C'mon. Hurry. Let's go," my friend said, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

I looked around. Another friend, Michael, had just walked into the room. I hadn't seen him for a while. I felt compelled to go over and talk to him, even though I didn't have anything important to say.

"Please, let's go," my friend said again. I started to leave with him, then changed my mind.

"Give me just a few minutes," I said, walking away from my friend and moving toward Michael. We didn't talk about much, Michael and I. But I'll never forget that conversation. He was killed in an accident two weeks later.

Some people suggest that our biggest regret when we die will be that we didn't work less and spend more time with the people we love. That may be true, but for me, I think it will be that I wasn't more completely present for each person, task, and moment in my life.

Action: Do you remember the "stop, look, and, listen" slogan from when you were a child? Every so often, even for a few minutes each day, try to remember to practice it.

Slow down or stop - depending on how fast you're going.

Look - see where you are, whom you're with, what you're doing. Give whatever you're doing your attention.

Listen - as much as possible, quell your anxiety, cease your mental chatter, and just listen to nature, to other people, to God, and to yourself.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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May 8

The crisis of our time . . . is a crisis not of the hands but of the hearts.
--Archibald MacLeish

We singlemindedly search for love, for belonging, for affirmation from others that will wipe out the torment of alienation that haunts our wakefulness and our dreams. "Does he truly care?" we wonder. "Did she try to call as she said?" Our fears, coupled with our loneliness, turn us inward and the seduction of isolation tightens its hold.

Our hearts plead, sometimes silently, other times hysterically, for comfort. And paradoxically, another's crisis can end our own. If we can hear the call from another's heart today, our own hearts will discover the comfort we crave.

If we look closely and with love toward the people so carefully placed in our midst, we'll discover many hearts, like our own, searching for acceptance.

Let's relieve our haunting alienation and extend a hand in love to a lonely friend today.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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May 9

. . . we have some unfinished business between us.

When we respond to the small signals that something is amiss, we prevent bigger problems. When we feel fear in our relationship, it signals that we have some unfinished business between us. When we ask the questions we have been avoiding, we create new possibilities for resolution. Our fear is a signal that something does not feel safe. If we tell ourselves that our fear is illogical and discount it, or if we overreact by totally pulling out of the situation, we miss opportunities to change it.

What a relief we feel as we make sense out of our fear and begin to talk with each other. We let go of secrets between us and work toward mutual understanding. As we communicate, the knot in our stomach loosens and light reappears in our relationship.

Name the signals your body gives you to indicate that something in your relationship needs attention.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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May 10

Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves.
--Saint Francis De Sales

One night Sandra was having trouble putting a puzzle together. Angrily, she pushed all the pieces into a huge pile.

"I can't do this," she said. She got up and walked over to the couch and plopped down.

"Let me tell you a story," said her dad, as he sat down next to her. "There was a daughter who helped her dad take care of her baby sister. Again and again, she helped her baby sister stand and try to walk. One day the daughter tried to put a puzzle together but gave up after only a few tries. She had forgotten how many times she had helped her baby sister."

We are all like Sandra, sometimes. We forget to allow ourselves to fail, even though our growth up to now has been a series of failures that we've learned from. With patience, we allow ourselves to take chances we might not otherwise explore, and we widen our world of possibilities. Life has been patient with us so far, now it's our turn.

What have I failed at that I can try again today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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May 11

"You silly thing," said Fritz, my eldest son, sharply, "don't you know that we must not settle what God is to do for us? We must have patience and wait His time."
--Johann R. Wyss

The story of the shipwrecked Robinson family is a lesson in patience. It was years before their rescue. They didn't know what their fate would be on the unfamiliar island. Yet they survived every day by working together and keeping strong faith in a Power greater than themselves.

We are certainly far from the adversities faced by that family. But at times we may feel our lives would be better if our Higher Power would do what we wanted. How many times have we prayed as hard as we could for something we felt we needed?

Today might have been one of those days where we felt our prayers weren't answered. But we need to remember our prayers are heard. Now it is up to us to Let Go and Let God.

Have I tried to be in control of my Higher Power today? How can I Let Go and Let God?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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May 12

He has served who now and then
Has helped along his fellowmen.
--Edgar A. Guest

It's hard to be interested in something that seems too remote. Sure, we're sorry for starving people in faraway places. And the TV news story about whole villages disappearing in an earthquake makes us feel terrible - until the next news story comes on. It doesn't mean we're bad people when we don't respond much to such tragedies. It only means they're not personal - and only the personal is real.

We care most about what we're involved in directly. If we're not personally involved, we're not very enthusiastic either. If we are the ones starting a new [12 Step] meeting, setting up the chairs, making the coffee, the success of that meeting means a lot to us. If our children are on drugs, we're not bored by city council meetings where new drug programs are discussed. It's our stake in something that makes it important.

The world doesn't need any more spectators. To feel more alive, we must be more alive. Caring is life and involvement is growth.

Today, I will not sit on the sidelines. I will act on behalf of a good cause that deserves my support.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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May 13

Using today's tools

Are we becoming stuck in the "if onlys"? "If only I had more money." "If only I were more attractive." "If only my parents had listened to Dr. Spock." The "if onlys" will get us nowhere. We would do better to think about what we have to work with today.

Do we remember that we are fortunate just to be alive? Are we grateful that, one day at a time, we are clean and sober? Do we keep in mind that we have at our disposal the Twelve Step program and all its tools? When we dwell in the "if onlys," we get stuck in yesterday. But what we have to work with today are "today's tools," and if we use them well, we'll have no need for the "if onlys."

Am I using the tools I have today?

God, help me to recognize today's tools and to become willing to use them.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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May 14

Doing our best

Perhaps we are saving our best effort for the "big break." When such and such happens, then I'll give it my best shot. What we don't realize, however, is that success comes from doing a lot of little things well. Learning to live means learning to manage all our daily responsibilities.

If we can't keep our clothes clean, take out the garbage, or get up on time, how can we expect to handle promotions, marriages, and crises? Daily effort may seem inconsequential, but our big break is the result of all our todays well lived.

Higher Power, help me take care of each thing as it comes along.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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May 15

Reflection for the Day

I can attain real dignity, importance and individuality only by a dependence on a Power, which is great and good, beyond anything I can imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to use this Power in making all my decisions. Even though my human mind cannot forecast what the outcome will be, I will try to be confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good. Just for today, will I try to live this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once?

Today I Pray

May I make no decision; engineer no change in the course of my life stream, without calling upon my Higher Power. May I have faith that God's plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for myself.

Today I Will Remember

God is the architect. I am the builder.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous