Today's Thought - June

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June 16

Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us. Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender.
--Henri Amiel

When we were lost in our addictive ways, we were driven by self-interest. We didn't necessarily like ourselves or want to be so self-centered. But we had no inner resources to help us escape the trap of our egos. When we were there, we could not see outside ourselves well enough to ask for help. Surrender, we thought, brought only defeat and humiliation.

The inspiration of this program brings us possibilities that cannot originate from within. When we surrender, we are no longer captives within our skins. We are actually restored to a more natural state as people in community with others, who literally cannot survive as isolated individuals. We must be a part of the give and take within the group, just as it has been for human beings since the beginning of time.

Today, I surrender my self-interest again, knowing I must do it over and over.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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June 17

Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.
--Thomas Merton

The surest way to unhappiness is to concentrate only on ourselves. Nothing will bring on despair quicker than thinking only of our own concerns. Extreme self-centeredness brings alienation from God, from our friends, and loved ones.

The surest remedy is to pray, not for our own comfort, but for God to bless someone else. If self-centeredness is contributing to our unhappiness, focusing some attention on others is the way out. We always get help for the blues by offering a hand to another or accepting a hand ourselves.

I can avoid despair by looking beyond myself.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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June 18

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
--Swedish proverb

During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot. So, a lot of us come into recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted.

But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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June 19

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
--Catherine Ponder

Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, another friend, even the TV.

Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.

Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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June 20

Baseball teaches us, or has taught most of us, how to deal with failure. We learn at a very young age that failure is the norm in baseball and ... errors [are] part of the game, part of its rigorous truth.
--Francis T. Vincent, Jr.

Of course we will make mistakes. We are born with the right to make mistakes. There is no shame in that. Perfection is a false ideal for a real human being. We learn by trial and error. If we try to be perfect, we will meet dead ends and roadblocks because we will inevitably fall short.

Instead, there is wisdom in the motto "Keep coming back." In this instance, the motto refers to returning to our standards. Rather than to strive constantly for higher and higher perfection, our goal is to always return to the rules we live by. Of course we will veer off the path. When we do, we make repairs, pay our dues, and hold our place as full-fledged members of the human race.

Today my goal is to keep returning to my ethics for a good life.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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June 21

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And never a word said she;
But, Oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!
-- Robert Browning Hamilton

We may think that forgetting the past is essential for growth and peace of mind. It's a tempting idea: we'll start over again, we think, fresh and new. But if we lose that old pain, we'll also lose all that we learned. We may repeat our mistakes, or make even worse ones next time. Dwelling on the past is equally dangerous. We began recovery to build a better life.

To find and maintain our balance, each area of our lives needs attention. A healthy mind in a healthy body is free to find God. And, with God's help, we can learn to recognize and forgive our past mistakes, while we keep the remarkable lessons we learned from life.

With our remembering, with our inventory, we can truly experience the repentance that frees us from regret and remorse. When we acknowledge our mistakes, we can learn from them and come to forgive ourselves.

Today help me use my memories to learn and change. Help me to forgive my past.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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June 22

You are the artist in your life

You create the images and colors on the canvas called your life. Are you creating the picture you want? Does your canvas convey a life of fulfillment and growth? Or does your canvas convey chaos and despair?

You are the artist; God is your co-creator. Together all things are possible. But when we mistakenly believe that other people control our destiny, we end up feeling bitter and hopeless. In truth, we're in partnership with a Higher Power, or whatever you choose to call it. I call that power God. We make the initial decisions; God carries out our plans. God could not render our lives what they are without our assistance. We are the artists, and ultimately we call the shots.

I invite you to consider a different perspective. This may not be easy to swallow if you are a struggling single parent, someone who has just lost a job, or someone facing other tough circumstances. You're invited to first see whether you played a part in where you are. And the best news you can give yourself is to say yes, because if you played even a small part, there is something you can do to change that canvas of your life. But if you played no part whatsoever, then you may be waiting forever for someone to change the course of your life. And that could be a very long wait.

You're invited to be your artist. And you have at your fingertips all the necessary tools to turn your canvas into a masterpiece.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

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June 23

Let every man be occupied in the highest employment of which he is capable and die conscious that he has done his best.
--Sidney Smith

Doing something that we feel good about never loses its importance to our lives. And it need not be a prestigious occupation for our work to be important. In fact, who are we to decide what kind of job is truly important? The most menial of tasks may have a profound impact on a particular man or woman today, and that's what really counts in God's grand scheme.

It is said by some that the highest order of employment is the offering of love and acceptance to the people on our paths today. For us to define employment solely in terms of career is shortsighted. Every minute we're awake we're busy with something, and that means we're employed.

A broader definition of employment gives every one of us a chance to put in a productive day. Knowing that our presence, our words, our willingness to listen to someone else has made life better for them makes it better for us, too.

I will go to bed fulfilled if I have shown love and respect for others today.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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June 24

Expectations

Higher Power, help me stop expecting so much from myself.

I set unrealistic standards, and when they are not met, unhappiness follows.

Help me be true to myself and only expect what I am capable of doing. As I grow in recovery and do my assignments every day, I am able to do more.

Your will provides realistic goals. Your will provides what I need to succeed.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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June 25

I believe that everyone needs a mentor.
--Harry Bartholomew

We have all had mentors - many of them, in fact. We might not have labeled them as such, but throughout our lives we have been picking up ideas and mannerisms from many people. From some, we sought to learn specific skills, perhaps on the job or while in school. A few inadvertently became our mentors simply because of our proximity to them. Along the way, we may have chosen some mentors impulsively and to our detriment. The process of mentoring is how most of us learn, ultimately. Have we forgotten that we, too, have served as mentors for many others who have shared our journey?

We obviously are not through living yet. Thus we are not through mentoring either. Every encounter we have with someone is mentoring in action. One moment we're on the learning end; the next, perhaps we're acting as teacher. Mentoring has always been a two-way street.

We have never been able to control another's mentoring, but we have always been free to choose or refuse to follow his or her example. What we can control, and this has always been true, is the content of our own mentoring. Are we satisfied that we've done our best?

Today I'll remember that my role as mentor isn't over yet.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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June 26

I feel best about having helped others believe in themselves.
--Bud Sherman

Encouragement is one of the greatest gifts we can give one another. Chances are we can all remember someone who encouraged us many years ago. Perhaps a teacher or an employer took a special interest in us, and we have never forgotten that person. It's likely we are remembered in much the same way by someone else, too. It's nice to savor these memories, isn't it?

There is nothing stopping us from continuing to make memories for others. We will experience people and situations today that will benefit if we pass on encouragement and praise. We will benefit as well. It feels good to acknowledge another's contributions to the world. It strengthens our own willingness to contribute.

No conversation is without purpose. Even those exchanges that seem meaningless offer us opportunities for bettering someone else's opinion of themselves. What greater offerings have we to make than to be loving and helpful to someone traveling this path with us? If we haven't given much attention to this part of our assignment before, let's begin now. The homework will make all of us feel much better.

A few words of encouragement to another is all that's asked of me today. I can handle that.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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June 27

Taking an honest look at ourselves is necessary if we want peace.

Step Four asks us to admit our character defects. That's not an easy assignment. How "defective" could we be? In truth, we do have many assets, and it will help us to admit our defects if we also own our assets.

The founders of the Twelve Steps were wise men who understood the value of self-assessment. None of us is without problems, many of which we cause ourselves because of behavior we need to change. But until we can stand back from ourselves and see our part in our troubles, we'll not have the data we need to make a change in our lives. This program is designed to help us change. Its goal for us is greater peace, but we must do our part.

I will feel better today, and thus more peaceful, if I am willing to change a behavior that causes me trouble. I pray for willingness to admit my defects and own my assets.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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June 28

Be careful with amends.

Hurting someone thoughtlessly just to lift our own guilt is not a proper Step Nine. Amends are for rebuilding the burned bridges in our lives. But if amends will hurt someone, we must decide if it's in that person's best interest to be told now. Oftentimes it's best left unsaid, but never denied to ourselves or to God.

Changing our behavior intentionally is one part of making amends, particularly to family members who may have heard us say "I'm sorry" far too many times. Repaying money, repairing damages, and making charitable contributions on behalf of the person we have harmed are all honest attempts to right our wrong. The point in every amends attempt is to take responsibility for what we did and express our regrets. Couple this with changed behavior, and our relationships will improve immediately.

I will not shy away from any amends I need to make today, but I'll be careful not to hurt someone with information he or she doesn't need to know.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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June 29

Overachieving may be symptomatic.

Suffering from low self-esteem is common. Some of it may be blamed on growing up in families affected by alcohol or other drugs. Perhaps the criticism heaped on us at school or in a bad marriage triggered it. We may have thousands of reasons for lacking a sense of our worth. The bottom line is, we were insecure and full of doubt - good breeding ground for the superstar achiever.

The program is spiritually based, and in it we are introduced to a Higher Power. Many of us didn't have a Higher Power before, at least not one we relied on, to help us feel better about ourselves. We are learning to turn to our Higher Power every day for peaceful assurance that we are loved, that we are being taken care of. In time we'll grow to love ourselves, and then we'll be free of the need to overachieve.

I will accept my worthiness today and trust that my Higher Power has something wonderful in store for me.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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June 30

The most important move is to begin.

We begin weaving by stringing vertical threads on a loom to form the foundation of a new cloth. Then horizontal threads are interlaced back and forth, and we create a fabric. As the cloth begins to form, new possibilities open before us. After we weave in the first color we can then envision other colors that will work with it. The most important move is to begin.

Sometimes new possibilities occur to us only through action. If we take the risk of the first step and keep our eyes open, we will see the next step. Too much planning, too much carefulness and analysis, may block all action.

With our partner we might sometimes feel stuck in a pattern. We may even feel hopeless. Rather than thinking excessively, we could take action, do one thing that we know people in good relationships do. We might be able to take the risk of that first step with the help of our Higher Power. When we take one hopeful step at a time, each step produces information that leads to the next.

Name one interesting thing you can do today. You need not justify it or understand where it will lead. Just try it.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum