If You Want What We Have

[bluidkiti]

"If You Want What We Have"
Sponsorship Meditations
by Joan Larkin

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Creating intimacy is a skill. --Laurel Mellin

Newcomer

The so-called suggestions not to have relationships in the first year makes me angry. The rest of the world falls in love, and people get together. What can't I?

Sponsor
Let's remember that there are many, many kinds of relationships, including friendships, professional relationships, and relationships like ours, the sponsor-sponsee relationship. All of them offer valuable experience and practice at something we addicts don't know much about: the gradual process, over time, of sharing ourselves with fellow human begins.
As a newly recovering person, you will have a lot to learn about yourself. Why rush the process? The person you are today and the person you will be after several months in recovery may not have much in common. You may quickly outgrow a romantic relationship that you enter into this early in your journey. Other newcomers, like you, are involved in a revolutionary process of growth and change. If you risk getting involved with a newcomer, you may find yourself unceremoniously dumped or vulnerable to the person's unreasonable demands or unthinking behavior. Instead, you can choose to allow yourself a luxury during these early months---that of creating a sensitive, loving relationship with yourself.

Today, I cherish my new, growing relationship with myself. I look and listen lovingly to my needs and wants.