Day 1

[1hope]

Hi my name is Melissa and today is day one of my road to recovery. April 13th 2013 my daughter was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia cancer she was 17. This is where my story starts. I've never been a drinker once and awhile but when my husband and I started our family I just didn't do it. I would like to say I don't even really have a problem now but I haven't been able to go a week without wanting to drink. Anyway after ten months of intense chemo treatment my daughter went into "maintenance" phase which is oral chemo and once a month infusions etc. This is when I started drinking. When my daughter went back to school I was alone and I finally felt the weight of all that had happened the last ten months hit me. At first I would drink whenever a child would pass that we knew. The hospital is a pediatric cancer center so it was a lot of children passing. Before I knew it I was drinking everyday...vodka. This soon became out of hand with my husband and his concern. I wouldn't drive and it became a problem not being able to do things for our other daughter then (15). So I quit drinking vodka and began drinking beer. I've been drinking consistently for a year now. That is where I am today. My daughter's don't like it at all and I want to be a good influence on them. I'm trying, I think I'm trying, but I don't know... if I was trying hard enough I could do it. I want to do it on my own. My husband is a good support but he also drinks beer every weekend so it's hard. He thinks I (we) should just drink on the weekends. But I want to quit completely I know how bad it is for my health and I want to be how I used to be, happy. So that's my story I joined this group so I could hear from others who have quit and give me hope & encouragement. Thanks for listening!