How Important Is It?

[MajestyJo]

A member of my group relapsed after six years of sobriety.

My first thought was she had no defence against that first drink. It seemed a very judgmental thought, yet I realized a lot of it was based on the knowingness that it could have been me.

I am powerless over people, places and things. I have no defence except a daily connection with my Higher Power which gives me the freedom of choice. If I was faced with similar circumstances, would I have done the same thing?

I would like to think not, yet this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful. I was not surprised, like most people in the room I think, but that is because with high emotions and some testing times myself, I know that I have had to do things for myself that I didn't see this woman doing. I called her twice in the last 10 days and didn't get a returned phone call. That is one of the biggest indicators that something is wrong unless she had gone away and there was no mention at the group.

The bottom line was that this woman was there for everyone else but didn't take time for herself, and didn't have her own network in place. I experienced something like this myself. No one seemed to be "there" when I needed them. It was like they expected me to be Ms. Indispensable and there for them and I believed it and thought that of myself. I allowed myself to forget my own humanness, and I am very glad that I didn't pick up myself. I am grateful that she did the research for me.

I am hoping she will call me. I told her to call me any time, day or night. People don't realize that often we need them, just as much as they need us.

Posted on another site Dec. 1, 2004

Had a friend call me tonight. She was hurting and I was glad that I was able to talk to her. I had several interruptions and I even had to call her back at one point. For me, it was about my God putting her in my life and that I needed to talk to her. It is hard to try to help someone who doesn't want to hear anything about recovery and the tools of the fellowships, and she doesn't want to here about God in any way shape or form.

I told her to look at her Higher Self and find out what she needed to do for herself. I am powerless over her, I can not change her, all I can do is share my experience, strength and hope and what worked for me and what is working for me in today.

It is important to share. It is important for my recovery, because often other people reflect the past or the present and brings new awareness to me. They are my God's messenger(s), and I need to pay attention. It isn't about them, it is about me and my recovery.