Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - April

[bluidkiti]

April 1

Step by Step

Today: Faith in the program and my higher power to work by offering to someone else what I think I need or want for myself. Today, I will relinquish all that is selfish and impedes or blocks my progress, my growth, and extend a hand of service to someone in need. Borrowing from Mother Teresa: If I grieve, I will find someone who needs consoling; if I am hungry, I will find someone to feed; if I am thirsty, I will quench another’s thirst; and, if I am cold, I will give warmth to someone else. If someone seeking release from active alcoholism calls on me, I will not turn him away and instead offer what I have – hope, promise and rebirth in a program that has been passed on to me through grace. Today, I will accept that I can keep what I have only by sharing it with someone else. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HUMOR

Rule 62: Don’t take yourself too seriously.

~ Anonymous ~

Once we get the God problem figured out, it’s easier to lighten up on ourselves. When we play God, we’re serious about ourselves because, after all, we’re God and God is serious. Besides carrying the world around on our backs is heavy stuff, and it’s hard to laugh when we’re so weighted down.

Once we work our Steps, we see things from a clearer point of view. We get a sense of humor back. The slogan “Easy Does It” speaks to us.

We watch the old-timers and how they handle situations. There is usually little fuss or hassle. They don’t frown or look worried. Those who have been on the Program for a long time know that things come and go; God’s will will be done. Life has a lot more to do with acceptance than with being serious.

Let me learn to accept that God’s in charge. Then I can stop taking myself so seriously.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

We carry problems and discrepancies within us, quandaries that are not easily answered—and we have bigger questions about life and the world. Why did I act as I did in my younger years? Can my life partnership be happy again? How should I handle a secret that I carry? What is this thing we call Higher Power and God?

We are on a journey and in some ways, this journey is a quest for answers. The questions give energy and direction to our seeking. We cannot expect to get quick or easy answers. And some questions will always remain just that: questions. But we can learn to be patient with ourselves, tolerant of our incompleteness, and always curious about how it will all turn out.

Today I will practice patience with myself and embrace my unsolved questions as crucial elements in my quest.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Take a risk. Being absolutely safe can also be lonely. I might get hurt or rejected, but I might also find a new friend—and that’s worth a risk.

~ Mary Timberlake ~

Having a Higher Power who is here to help us is the most important gift of this recovery program. Perhaps for the first time in our lives we no longer feel alone with our fears and problems. We know that we can quietly ask our Higher Power to walk us toward the solutions for problems that have snarled our lives. We are learning quickly that within each situation is an opportunity for a lesson we have needed to learn.

Whenever we fail to remember that God is with us, we dread taking even the small risks of everyday life. Meeting someone new at work or being paired up with a new partner at cards can undermine our confidence when we feel alone and conspicuous. Being obsessed with how we are being perceived rather than remembering that God is always with us is part of our disease. Risk taking, with the help of our Higher Power, is part of our healing. Every time we take a risk, we strengthen our willingness to take another.

With God’s help today I will know a new level of confidence and peace with each risk I take.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to learn what pushes my buttons

Not so long ago I felt trapped in a self-destructive cycle. One day I thought I was fine. The next day I’d end up in detox with psychiatric symptoms. What was worse is that I couldn’t recall what got me to take that first drink. It was frustrating. I felt guilty and ashamed.

At group I’m learning about slips, relapse, and getting my buttons pushed. I know now I need to find out what things upset me and how I “build up to drink.” I’m, finally learning how to stop this cycle when it starts and then get back on track.

I will ask my counsellor or sponsor to help me figure out the most common things that lead up to a slip for me.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I don’t want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I’ve done.

~ Edgar A. Guest ~

We have finally come to terms with many unpleasant things in our lives. The pain of our addiction led us away from who we really were. Now, as we become more firmly entrenched in our Twelve Step program, we learn how important it is to be true to ourselves. We know now that in order to be truly happy we must be happy with ourselves. At the end of the day if we can look in the mirror and honestly say, “Today I’m happy with me,” we are one step further in our recovery.

We can never be so sure of ourselves that there is no room for improvement. When we find ourselves becoming disillusioned and unhappy, we can do an inventory, asking, “Am I the best me I can be?” Maybe our minds need to be stretched and stimulated. Maybe it’s time for a modest exercise program. Maybe we need to spend more time with God. Doing one small thing can help us feel better about ourselves.

Recovery is a lifelong journey; each day we take another step. When we do the small things to grow, one day, perhaps today, we’ll look up and feel the happiness gathering in our lives.

Today let me do the things I know are right for me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

~ Step Four ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weak-ness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Four.

Step Four Prayer Higher Power, because of my addiction I have made many mistakes. I have committed many wrongs. I have hurt others. I have not lived up to my potential. There is no one to blame, for I alone have done these things. But I am ready to embark on a journey that will bring me deeper into myself. I am filled with purpose, even though I know I will see many things for which I am not proud.

Through your help, Higher Power, I will also see the good in me. I will see that I am a human being with (laws and imperfections. But I will also strive to see my strengths and talents. I am ready to make an inventory of myself. I ask for the honesty and the strength to complete this task. Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There’s sometimes a good hearty tree growin’ right out of the bare rock, out o’ some crack that just holds the route; right on the pitch o’ them bare stony hills where you can’t seem to see a wheel-barrowful o’ good earth in a place, but that tree’ll keep a green top in the driest summer.

~ Sarah Orne Jewett ~

When our meetings end, we join hands or place our arms around each other in a circle of prayer. This circle gives us nourishment for our growth, even in adverse conditions.

Without this circle of strength and nourishment, we would be like we were before the program: a tree growing sallow roots, searching far for nourishment. The program grounds us and helps us grow deep and secure roots.

Whether we choose to grow in a forest or out on our own, we’re never alone. We can survive because of the spirit that flows through the hearts of program members into our hearts. Within the protection of the circle and outside, our needs for growth are answered and provided for by the program.

Tonight I can push my own roots down deeply and hold securely onto my space. I’ve found the place that provides for my needs.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Changing our fate

Perhaps we feel that life has played a trick on us: Fate has made us different from other people. We are chemically dependent and may feel life has made fools out of us. If we really examine ourselves, however, we’ll find it was not just life but our self-will that helped us get into trouble.

Most of our problems were of our own making, not something fate dealt out. The only remedy we know is to align our will with our Higher Power. We can choose not to be fools of fate.

Am I changing my fate?

I pray that I may take responsibility for my recovery.

I will align my will to God’s will today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I want to change things. I want to see things happen. I don’t want just to talk about them.

~ JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH ~

Newcomer

I feel as if I should be doing so much more than just staying in recovery and going to meetings. And yet, when I have free time, I’m not accomplishing much these days. I go to a meeting and then to coffee—“the meeting after the meeting,” I’ve heard it called—and I get home and feel too tired to do any more. When I have a big block of time, I don’t know how to use it. I feel confused and discouraged.

Sponsor

This point in recovery is a time to be especially gentle with ourselves. When we look back at how we were feeling and what we were doing just before we entered recovery, we can see that “just staying in recovery and going to meetings” is a major change. To be free from our addictive behavior, to keep a commitment to a program of recovery—this is nothing short of a total revolution in our lives. We have made a commitment to live, not to punish ourselves for not doing it faster and more perfectly.

“The meeting after the meeting” is not a waste of time. It’s important to get to know our peers in recovery. We can learn from one another, support one another. The changes we’re experiencing are mirrored back to us by others who are undergoing similar transformations. It gives us experience, too, at being with people without the “help” of our addictive substance or behavior.

We don’t have to worry about wasting time in early re-covery. It is a miracle that we can simply be.

Today, I let myself be.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

What exists in the life to come we can leave the theologians, but the actual existence of Heaven and Hell here on earth is indisputable to us who have lived in both.

If most of the Bible thumpers that continually rave about the treats of Hell could know the Hell the poor practicing alcoholic is going through, it would scare them to death.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Act the way you want to be, so that one day you will be the way you act.

2) Detach, don’t desert

3) When you have gratitude, you don’t have attitude.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

First Step Prayer

Today, I ask for help with my addiction. Denial has kept me from seeing how powerless I am and how my life is unmanageable. I need to learn and remember that I have an incurable illness and that abstinence is the only way to deal with it.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHO SHALL SEE GOD

… for they shall see God. In this wonderful Beatitude we are told exactly
how this supreme task is to be accomplished and who they are who shall do it.
They are the pure in heart. Purity, in its full and complete sense, is
recognizing God alone as the only real Cause, and the only real Power in
existence. It is what is called elsewhere in the Sermon “the single eye.”

Note that Jesus speaks of the pure in heart. The word heart in the Bible
usually means that part of man’s mentality that modern psychology knows under
the name of the “subconscious mind.” This is exceedingly important because it
is not sufficient for us to accept the Truth with the conscious mind only. At
that stage it is still a mere opinion. It is not until it is accepted by the
subconscious mind, and thus assimilated into the whole mentality, that it can
make any difference in one’s character or life.

… as he thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Divine Fool

’Tis a gift to be simple, ‘tis a gift to be free.

~ Shaker Song ~

In the Tarot deck, The Fool Card depicts a young man walking along gaily as he smells a flower. Unbeknownst to him, he is about to step over a cliff. The card has a dual interpretation: on one level, it is a lesson to pay attention; on the other hand, it is a celebration of holy foolishness—the innocent vision of a child who knows no bounds, obstacles, or dangers. Sometimes what appears to be foolishness is divine wisdom.

In the film Being There, Peter Sellers portrays Chance, a simple- minded man who grew up in such a sheltered environment that his mind never developed beyond that of a five-year-old. When he is suddenly cast into a cold and wily world, Chance retains his delightful innocence. No one who meets him knows quite what to make of him, but they really like him. Through a strange series of events, Chance meets the President of the United States, who is attracted to his earthy, unpretentious wisdom and makes him an advisor. Although Chance knows nothing about politics, he discusses the natural cycles of life in his garden, and the application of these principles makes Chance a national hero.

The final scene of Being There shows a group of politicians speculating about Chance being the next President. As they are debating the merits of his nomination, Chance wanders off to a nearby park and walks over a lake—no one ever told him that he couldn’t!

Sometimes we are wisest to play the fool. Go with your sense of childlike innocence and wonder, and doors will open that intellectual manipulation could never force. Not only that, but you’ll have a lot more fun as you play.

I pray to return to my innocence and see the beauty of life as You created it.

I give myself permission to live in childlike wonder.