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Humor "We Are Not A Glum Lot." Share Articles, Humor, Inspirations, Jokes, News, Poems, Quotes, Writings, etc. Here. Keep It Clean Please. |
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11-20-2013, 11:19 AM | #1 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 73,474
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You Know You're Getting Older When
You Know You're Getting Older When:
*Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. *You keep repeating yourself. *You keep repeating yourself. *The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals. *You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere. *You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. *Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D. *You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm. *Your back goes out more often than you do. *You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. *You get winded playing chess. *Your children begin to look middle aged. *People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" *A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge. *You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions. *Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..." *You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones. *The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife. *Your knees buckle and your belt won't. *You got cable for the Weather Channel. *You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. *After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat. *Dialing long distance wears you out. *You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet. *The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off. *You get into a heated argument about medicare plans. *A fortune teller offers to read your face. *Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by. *You're startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer. *You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. *Relatives smile benignly rather than interrupt you as you retell the same story for the zillionth time. *You are proud of your lawn mower. *People don't harass you any more when you take an afternoon nap. *Your relatives longingly refer to your things as "your estate". *You're only good on a trip for an hour without your aspirin, beano and antacid. *You're awake many hours before your body allows you to get up. *You're wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just your left leg. *You are having trouble remembering simple words like.... *You're anti-everything: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammation....
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"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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