Long Story Short, No More Chains

[deeek]

Hi There everybody, I am new to this forum and wanted to introduce myself, my name is deek. Long story short. I am an alcoholic/addict who hit a low bottom including jails, institutions and suicide attempts.By the grace Of God and NA and AA I have a little time clean and sober, my last drink was 2/2/12 but one night on 12/26/12 I abused cough medicine so I have a new start date of 12/27/12. Feels good! I finally understand that it is the 1st drink I need to avoid as that is the one that starts the insatiable craving for more.

Today I went to the Hard Rock Casino with my hubby and son. I didn't really want to go, basically because of my spiritual beliefs but I only see my son every few weeks as he lives 2 hours away.I played some penny slots and then watched as my son and hubby played blackjack. My son had several drinks and there were cocktail waitresses everywhere.

I decided to find a comfortable place to sit and I just pondered over the freedom I now have that I am clean and sober. I thought to myself how easily it would have been to sneak a drink, but then I thought back to where that 1st drink would lead. I would be still drinking now at 2:30 am or passed out. I thought about how then I would very quickly be back in the habit of drinking an 18 pack of beer a day, and as we all know we never catch that buzz we are looking for so I would need more, next I would be calling the drug dealer or driving by his house. About now I would be puking my brains out and feeling really disappointed in myself. My husband would probably say he's leaving and all the work I put into building back up my relationship with my son would be lost because I took that first drink. I have been down this road to many times, but today I really got it as in really realizing how detrimental that 1st drink could be in my life and the lives of my family members. Maybe I had an aha moment realizing how self centered one can be to take that risk for a couple hour buzz.

It was good to walk down memory lane, and I don't say that to often, but God put my past right up in my face. He made me realize that if I picked up a drink, it wouldn't be just one drink, it would be a lifestyle change, I would be giving up my freedom. I would be chained to that little demon once again and my whole life would once again revolve around it. I am so grateful today!