One Day At A Time - September

[yukonm]

September 1

SELF-KNOWLEDGE

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking.
It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

Albert Einstein



The world I created before finding the Twelve Steps of recovery was a world in which I had no responsibility. Everything bad in my life was someone else’s fault: my parents’, my husband’s, society’s, and, when there was no one else to blame, it was God’s fault.


As I worked Step 4, I learned that I had been a part of all of these things for which I blamed others. I learned that I had defects of character that kept me from taking part in my life. As I recognized these defects, I asked my Higher Power to remove them, and that gradually happened.


One of the things I had tried to do for many years was bury my feelings of grief and pain. I seemed to have managed that fairly well, but in doing so, I had also buried all the other emotion. I no longer took enjoyment in anything. My child’s smile evoked no feeling and I felt no pride in anything I did. I felt none of the love that others gave to me. As I started dealing with the painful feelings, the positive emotions emerged as well.


The promise the Big Book speaks of became true for me: I no longer regretted the past nor wished to shut the door on it. I was able to feel my hurt and grief. Now I am also able to feel love and happiness. I have learned how to change my thinking through the process of working these wonderful Steps.

One Day at a Time . . .
I do a daily 10th, 11th and 12th Step and am reminded that it is my responsibility to listen to my Higher Power and do my part in creating the world around me.

~ Nancy

[yukonm]

September 2

ISOLATION

“A great hope fell, you heard no noise,
The ruin was within.
Oh, cunning wreck that, told no tale
And let no witness in!”

Emily Dickinson



When I was young, I was unable to negotiate situations that were too big for me to understand. I went within and hid. I lost hope and was filled with despair. I soothed myself with food that was always there for me. In time, I felt so isolated that I felt completely separate from the human race.

As I recover, it is important for me to use the tools of the program which reconnect me with other people. This connection tells me that I am okay. I always have a choice to isolate or connect. Today I choose to connect.

One Day at a Time . . .
I ask my Higher Power for the ability and courage to reach out and connect to others by using the tools of the program.

~ Melissa S.

[yukonm]

September 3

SPIRITUAL GROWTH

“I have defined love as the will to extend oneself
for the purpose of nurturing one’s own
and another’s spiritual growth.”

Scott Peck
From 'The Road Less Traveled'



In my disease I had this terrible need to control everything and everyone in my path. Like the actor in the AA Big Book, I was forever arranging things the way I thought they should be, only to find that when I was done, I had ripped through the area like a tornado on the plains.

Often I would claim that my actions were done out of a spirit of love. When I didn’t get my way, I would announce to the world that I was not loved and would head for the solitude of my binge foods.

Today as I work my program, I find that by taking the Third Step, I am truly extending myself for not only my own growth, but for those around me as well. When I decide to turn my will and my life over to the God of my understanding, I don’t have to be the director of the world! As I once heard in a meeting, “The position of God is filled. They did not ask for resumes, they did not take applications, there was no ad in the classifieds. So what makes you think you can apply for the job?” By not extending myself into God’s role, I am extending love.

One Day at a Time . . .
I pray that I may stay out of my Higher Power’s way, and by doing so, extend myself for spiritual growth.

~ Mark Y.

[yukonm]

September 4

ACTION

“Men at some time are the masters of their fates.”
William Shakespeare



When I first approached Step Four I did so with fear. To make “a searching and fearless moral inventory” of myself seemed like an impossible task. I had so many resentments and fears I did not know where to start. I felt very overwhelmed. When I shared this with my sponsor, she sat down with me and I took a pen and paper and we started. Just seeing something down on paper gave me the courage to go on. I took the inventory person-by-person for my resentments and sex conduct, and fear-by-fear for my fear inventory. At first it was hard to see my part. I wanted to be a victim. But with the help of my sponsor I began to see my part. I began to take action.

No longer was I the victim, but I became the master of my fate for the purposes of my recovery. I chose to make a searching and fearless moral inventory. No, it wasn’t easy, but step-by-step, I completed it. It wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Step Four requires much action, and I must choose to take it.



One Day at a Time . . .
I will choose to take action in my recovery and be fearless and thorough no matter where I am on my journey.

~ Carolyn

[yukonm]

September 5

SERVICE

“The world is full of willing people;
some willing to work ... the rest willing to let them.”

Robert Frost



There is a time when we first come into program when we need to just sit back and receive. We come in a desperate state, empty of love and acceptance, with nothing to guide us and no place to go. We learn to feel our emptiness and to accept resting on others and being supported.


Then we begin to “get it.” The tingling excitement of hope is aroused in us. A source of power to live is discovered inside of ourselves.


At that point, a change must take place if we are to continue our success. While we will always remain a receiver, we must move into the ring of the givers. It requires a new role of courage and boldness to take this step. Fear of what to say, how to sound, and quality of performance must be overcome. This is called Step Twelve.

One Day at a Time . . .
God, grant me the courage to take Step Twelve,
however imperfectly, to grow in my ability to share
what I have so generously been given.

~ Mary Clare

[yukonm]

September 6

RISK

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Anais Nin



I think that many people, like myself, come into Twelve Step Programs out of desperation. I had just begun to realize that the price I was paying to continue eating compulsively was way too high. For me, I noticed I was a very distracted and impatient mother. I saw my children getting more and more out of control because I had neither the time nor the energy to discipline myself, let alone them. I started to wonder what kind of lives I was training them to live. I saw my husband disappear more and more into books and work, and retreating from me. My body was beginning to rebel against what I was doing to it. I was sleeping in a recliner because I could not breathe well enough to sleep in my bed. My knees and my feet were beginning to hurt. I was unable to do even routine housework and shopping without great effort and discomfort.


I began to realize this was no way to live. I was consumed with both the fear of living and the fear of dying. I had a friend who was in a similar condition, and together we gathered up the courage to attend a few program meetings. I also discovered a wonderful community of program members online and here is where I found the courage to move forward and to begin my recovery journey. It was also online I found the fellow sufferer in recovery who became my sponsor.


I am so thankful my Higher Power made me realize that I could move through the fear I had about living. With the help of my program and my Higher Power, I became a blossoming flower who did not die in the bud.


One day at a time...
I accept that fear may be in my life and that my Higher Power is stronger than anything I fear. I move forward today trusting my Higher Power to draw me to my highest good. I know that growth comes with action and I am willing to risk moving through the fear into positive action.

~ Janet H.

[yukonm]

September 7

HONESTY

“If it is not right do not do it;
if it is not true do not say it.”

Marcus Aurelius



Honesty of all sorts is important, but honesty with ourselves is foundational. With everything that was in me, I resisted the notion that I had an eating disorder. Everybody else had a problem with my eating, not me. But when I finally faced the painful truth, I began the journey to freedom, from not merely overeating, but from all the underlying bondage that had caused me to stuff my feelings.


The same thing happened when I acknowledged that my relationship with God was in need of correction. Sure, my whole life was a mess, but that had to be God’s fault, right? I had to own up to the fact that God did not fail me; I had failed myself. I had to be open and receptive to His way. What power comes from honesty! I used to be afraid of truth, but truth is becoming my friend.


One day at a time...
Today I will not let myself hide
from truth simply to be comfortable;
I will use truth as a tool for freedom.

~ Deborah H.

[yukonm]

September 8

DREAMS

“You’ve got to have a dream
in order to make a dream come true.”
Oscar Hammerstein II



Since first hearing this saying many years ago, I have come to believe in it. I have always had the dream of being happy, healthy, helpful and whole, but it wasn’t until I found this program (or it found me) that I am learning I can have all of these things. Through the program I am being shown a way to achieve them.


When I first joined the program, I just wanted to lose weight. But as I continue to understand and learn about the program, my dream is slowly coming true. It’s a slow path for me right now, but as long as I keep the dream alive in my mind, heart and soul, I know I'll be able to accomplish it one day at a time!



One day at a time...
I ask my Higher Power to keep me on the right path toward my dream of being happy, healthy, helpful and whole. And right now, in this moment, I am grateful for my dream and for the opportunity to fulfill it.

~ Lorraine ~

[yukonm]

September 9

CONNECTION

We all have God's phone number
but the only number we tend to use is 911.
We only call in an emergency
instead of calling just for daily connection with God.

Mary Manin Morrissey




When I first came into the program, my goal was to lose weight. It’s still my goal, but now it’s not the main focus of my program of recovery.


I’ve learned that my spiritual and emotional fitness are every bit as important as my physical fitness. In fact, I’m finding that for me the spiritual aspect is the most important. If my relationship to the God of my understanding is in order, then everything else seems to fall into place. If I leave my Higher Power out of my life, then everything falls apart.


There’s an old program saying, “If you feel apart from God, then who moved?” Whenever I feel like God is a million miles away, I know it’s because I moved away from Him, not the other way around. When I am feeling separated from God, I see my disease of compulsion start to take over. That’s why it’s very important to me to maintain a conscious contact with my Higher Power. If I let things get too far out of hand and I start to move away from Him, then I need to pray. But my intention is to keep in constant touch with God so that a spiritual emergency isn’t the only reason I check in with Him.


One day at a time...
I will do all I can on a daily basis to connect with my Higher Power.

~ Jeff

[yukonm]

September 10

FAITH

“Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day
in and through us, or we perish."

The Big Book, page 16



The Big Book states that if we are rigorously honest we will receive release from our addictive compulsions. Working the Steps is what keeps us honest. I didn’t believe this with my whole heart and I lived within my disease. My sponsor told me to just “do it” and see what happened; to “act as if it were true.”


What is faith? It is the belief that if we stay close to our Higher Power we will be where we need to be. It is the guarantee that we do not walk through this world or this disease alone. Faith requires commitment to a belief that is greater than what we can see, hear, taste or smell. It’s knowing that there is a God who loves us as we are, and Who will journey through this life with us. And faith requires that we act on that knowledge. That is faith.


I did the Steps and the compulsion was removed. A miracle? Absolutely! I had faith that the program would work. Putting the faith to work by diving into the Steps released me from the grips of the disease, one day at a time. The beauty of the program is faith in a Higher Power who will walk us through one hour, one day and one miracle at a time.


One day at a time...
I will act as if there is a God who loves me.

~ Sara H.

[yukonm]

September 11

The Present

“Real generosity towards the future
consists in giving all to what is present.”

Albert Camus



Fear ruled my life until two years ago. I was paralyzed with fear about the future and what would happen when “they” discovered how bad I really was and how little they could trust me. I was terrified that the past would catch up with me and I’d be found out. The guilt and shame of my last binge came along for the ride as I replayed the scene compulsively and beat myself up for screwing up yet again. This made it impossible for me to stay in the present.


In program I learned that I wasn’t really paralyzed by the past nor the future; rather, I was paralyzed by fear of losing control. The only way to release that fear was to admit, every hour of every day, that I was powerless over people, the past, the future and the food. When I wrote it down and put it in my God box, I could live in the present time. It was hard at first, and I'd grab it back when the fear crept in. But I'd let it go a little more each time, allowing me to be free of fear and enjoy moments of the day. The moments turned into hours and soon I was experiencing a full day without fear. The fear of the past and the future held less sway over me as I worked the Steps, surrendered my fears, and did service.


Service is the most important tool for me. The more service I do, the more I am fully alive in the present and I worry less about the past and the future. The peace and serenity that replaced the fear are blessed gifts allowing me to explore more of the present day. With them, I can honestly share myself with others and rebuild relationships. I now know the freedom of “giving all to what is present” and I pray for the willingness to stay in the present and be generous toward my future.


One day at a time...
I live fully in the present, easily and effortlessly surrendering the past and the future to my Higher Power.

~ Anne L.

[yukonm]

September 12

LOVE

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.
You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

Lucille Ball



It took me a long time to learn what love truly means. I thought love included pleasing others, saying “yes” when I meant “no,” swallowing my true feelings and putting myself last. What I didn’t know is that I was practicing resentment, anger, fear, jealousy and everything but love. I could not love others because I did not love myself.
Then I decided to take care of myself first. I considered no one but me, took care of myself, (or so I thought) while actually alienating myself from those close to me. I ate compulsively to tame the self-loathing I felt inside. And I loathed myself because I did not treat myself with real love and kindness.

Today I know that loving myself must come first. If I love myself, I am better able to love everyone in my life because I do things from a place of honesty. If I treat myself with respect, I treat others with respect. Everyone wins when I love myself enough to accept myself, flaws and all.

One day at a time ...
I will ask my Higher Power for the
ability to accept and love myself for where I
am this day, knowing I am a work in progress like a
tree that grows from self-care and nurturing.

~ Melissa

[yukonm]

September 13

ABSTINENCE

“It’s a funny thing about life.
If you refuse to settle for anything less than the best,
that’s what it will give you.”

W. Somerset Maugham


When I first came to program, I was in the diet mentality. After a few “slips” I had to face the facts: I was in relapse, and I had never really surrendered. With the help of the program, I gained an increasing awareness of this progressive disease. Did I really want to recover? Was I really willing to go to any lengths to find relief from compulsive eating?


When I finally surrendered the food and began working the Steps, I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that food could no longer be the answer. With seven months’ abstinence, I now know that I have a long way to go in my recovery. However, one day at a time, I am willing to find my answers in the Steps instead of in the food. Thank you, Higher Power!



One day at a time...
I choose abstinence and will listen for God’s calling in my life. God’s will for me is the safest and most loving place I can be, and I know God wants me to live a life free from the compulsion to eat.


~ Christine S.

[yukonm]

September 14

SLOW SUICIDE

“He who does not use his endeavors to heal himself
is brother to him who commits suicide.”
Solomon


Rather than a regular, sudden suicide, I have subtly entertained the idea of slow suicide. I have neglected myself: my health, my vision and my gifts. I have either taken actions that have harmed me, or I have neglected to take actions that would have helped me to live a longer and more productive life. I have stuffed my face with garbage, accepting that as my fate.

Today I have a program that teaches me that I can’t take care of myself alone and that I can, and will, receive help. I accept that help with humility, taking the Steps I am shown and using the tools I am offered. I begin to see that I have something to offer others and my life takes on new meaning and purpose.

One day at a time...
I pray that I will say “yes” to my own life today, and take actions which represent that “yes.”


~ Q

[yukonm]

September 15

~ STEP SIX ~

The Spiritual lift, the nearness to our Creator
that is experienced from humble invocation of His help,
and our willingness to be freed from old willfull thoughts and habits
are essential to successful attainment of these steps.

The Little Red Book



I am a compulsive overeater. I eat three moderate meals each day without exception. In between, I have nothing except sugar-free gum, water, diet soda, and black coffee. Today I am working hard to allow my Higher Power to remove my imperfections. The focus is on the removal of blame, resentment, fear, and self-pity. I want to blame. I do resent. I have a lot of fear, but with surrender it is not paralyzing. I easily feel sorry for myself and cry about it. All of this threatens my abstinence, which is about sanity. The weight loss is an extra reward. The ability to approach responsibilities and feelings is the life force which I cannot take for granted.


When food was my higher power it was hell. I take my disease and recovery seriously. It's choosing life over slow, torturous death. All my problems are the same, yet somehow they are livable. Continually asking for removal of my defects results in a decrease of anxiety. I believe fully that my Higher Power will remove my problems in a time and way which I have no control over, as long as I remain willing. Today I am completely willing. I am grateful to have been chosen for recovery.



One day at a time...
I can eat three weighed, measured and committed meals without exception. I enjoy my meals and feel satisfied by them.

~ Ellen ~