Today's Thought - March

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March 16

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

~Psalm 30:5

It’s important to know we are not to blame if we didn’t learn when we were children what we needed to know about relationships and living a healthy life. It’s not a child’s job to teach themselves what is needed to live happily.

It may be difficult as adults to learn the things we should have learned as children and adolescents, but it is not impossible. We can rely on the courage, strength, and humility we show by being willing to live in recovery “One day at a time.” We can also ask our Higher Power to help us develop our spirituality, which gives us the inner truth we need to live.

We may feel angry sometimes or get tired of struggling, but we must have faith that we can do it. The yearning within us to have relationships and to contribute our skills and talents must become reality. Continuing to grow gives us a sense of accomplishment and a wider world that is ours to experience.

Today I will feel proud of my ability to take risks in order to enlarge my life.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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March 17

Being Practical

Theories are like the tail feathers of a rooster, highly ornamental but not much use in a high wind.

~Arthur E. Holt

Theories for effective living are important, but unless we put them into action, they are worthless. The Twelve Steps and the slogans are among the theories that have been tested by millions who have put them into action. They have withstood the “high winds” of living.

Meditation on some theories may do nothing for our recovery except make us feel better. Even this is useful. By working the kinds of behavior and thinking in our lives that we find in theories, we make those theories into practical realities.

It is less important to look well than to be well. Theories by themselves look good. Working them makes us good.

What I ask for while I am on my knees in prayer is never as vital to me as what I do with the answers I receive once I am back on my feet.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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March 18

The greatest mystery of life is that satisfaction is felt not by those who take and make demands but by those who give and make sacrifices.

~Nikolai Berdyaev

What a different world this would be if we knew that seeking fame and fortune, and striving for gain would only bring us discord and misery. Beginning with childhood, we all receive messages that getting is the purpose of living: we must have romantic love, sexual fulfillment, possessions, and prestige to be happy. This is emphasized constantly by various forms of advertising, business, and entertainment.

God has a different message: Help one another. We learn from experience in our program that happiness comes from giving—whether it be time, talent, money, or other things. Experience tells us that giving what we have to help someone else makes us a lot happier than keeping it to ourselves.

Today I will put my emphasis on giving.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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March 19

I stand before you as a tower of strength, the weight of the world on my shoulders. As you pass through my life, look, but not too close, for I fear l will expose the vulnerable me.

~Deidra Sarault

Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength. Our vulnerability prevents our strength from becoming hard, brittle, self-serving. Our soft edges invite others' openness and their expressions of love.

We learned long ago to be "strong”. We were encouraged to need no help, to need nobody. Now, we struggle to ask for help. As we grow in understanding of our human needs, and as we become more aware of the spiritual help avail* able, the difficulty of reaching out to others is eased.

No longer need we look to pills, booze, food, or lovers for strength. All the strength we'll ever need is as close as our thoughts. At this moment, we are a tower of strength, not one weighted with burdens. Rather, our strength is a gift of our connection to a spiritual power that can free us from all the troubles we shoulder. Our vulnerable selves will open our souls to the flood of strength just waiting for our prayers.

I will be as strong as I need to be when l tap the spiritual source that awaits my call. I will risk my vulnerable self today.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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March 20

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

~Doug Larson

Life is never just one thing. It is quite possible to feel optimistic and happy even when some things are not right with us. An optimistic outlook gives us energy to handle the harder challenges we have to deal with. Research shows that people who have a positive attitude have a stronger immune system, are healthier, live longer, and are even more likely to recover from serious illness.

To believe in hopeful outcomes is largely a matter of choice. Many of us have experienced big disappointments and defeats in life. But having come this far, we can look back and see that somehow we had the capacity to deal with it. The Second Step guides us to believe in hopeful possibilities. We can’t say that things will always turn out just the way we hope, but that we can cope with whatever happens.

Today, I choose to believe that a Power greater than myself can help me deal with life, and I have reason to be optimistic.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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March 21

AA Thought for the Day

When I was drinking, I was absolutely selfish. I thought of myself first, last, and always. The universe revolved around me. When I woke up in the morning with a hangover, my only thought was how terrible I felt and what I could do to make myself feel better. And the only thing I could think of was more liquor. To quit was impossible. I couldn’t see beyond myself and my own need for another drink. Can I now look out and beyond my own selfishness?
Meditation for the Day

Remember that the first quality of greatness is service. In a way, God is the greatest servant of all, because He is always waiting for us to call on Him to help us in all good endeavors. His strength is always available to us, but we must ask it of Him through our own free will. It is a free gift, but we must sincerely seek it. A life of service is the finest life we can live. We are here on earth to serve others. That is the beginning and the end of our real worth.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may cooperate with God in all good things. I pray that I may serve God and others and so lead a useful and happy life.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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March 22

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The little rabbit stood alone, watching her family and friends hop and skip about her in the forest, playing her favorite rabbit game. Try as she might, each time she attempted to join in, she tripped about awkwardly. When this happened, the other rabbits laughed uproariously at her and called her "Grace." Soon even she forgot her real name.

But in the moments when Grace was alone, she danced around the trees with ease. She was as smooth and graceful as any ballerina. An old owl sat high above her one night, watching her intently The moonlight streamed through the treetops like a soft spotlight and he sat and watched as little Grace moved in and out of the moonbeams. Finally, he said, "Grace, you are more graceful than any creature I've ever seen." Grace was startled that someone had been watching her, but listened carefully to the wise owl's words as he continued. "You have carried this beauty within you all the time, but locked it inside when you tried too hard." If we remember to relax and trust in ourselves, we, too, will discover that we are able.

What hidden ability can l set loose today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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March 23

Make yourself an honest person, and then you may be sure that there is one rascal less in the world.

~Thomas Carlyle

Honesty does not mean saying all we think or feel. Many of our thoughts and feelings are only with us for a minute. They are not always the truth. For example, saying to someone you love, “I hate you!” in the middle of an argument can destroy things.

Honesty means living by what is true to us. Then we choose when and how to say things to others. Think of honesty as the air we breathe: it’s what keeps us alive, but it can get polluted and kill. It must be treated with respect and care.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me know the power of honesty. Help me speak it with care and respect.
Action for the Day

Before I speak today I’ll ask myself, “Is this true? Am I speaking because this needs to be said?”

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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March 24

I wasn’t exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.

~Reggie Jackson

We have many myths about other people’s lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We think of Hollywood families, TV sitcoms, or maybe even those Rockwell paintings that idealized small-town American life in the mid-1900s. We may have stories our father told about his moment of glory and how he met his challenges. Any of these images selects part of the truth and highlights it, creating a myth that might be worthwhile if we don’t take it too literally.

Living real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up and carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. A father’s recollections or a Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives.

The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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March 25

Dealing with daily problems

For many of us, substances were an escape from the trials of the world. We deeply resented them and earnestly sought escape. Simply getting sober did not wipe away all our problems. Now, however, we have an opportunity to deal with them constructively.

If we do not take that first pill, drink, or fix, our problems can be solved, and stumbling blocks can become stepping stones to a better life.

Am I learning how to deal with daily problems?

Higher Power, I pray to accept my daily problems and for your help in dealing with them.

One thing I will do today to deal constructively with my problems is…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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March 26

Reflection for the Day

How many of us would presume to announce, “Well, I’m sober and I’m happy. What more can I want or do? I’m fine just the way I am.” Experience has taught us that the price of such smug complacency—or, more politely, self-satisfaction—is an inevitable backslide, punctuated sooner or later by a very rude awakening. We have to grow or else we deteriorate. For us, the status quo can only be for today, never for tomorrow. Change we must; we can’t stand still. Am I sometimes tempted to rest on my laurels?
Today I Pray

May I look around me and see that all living things are either growing or deteriorating. Nothing that is alive is static; life flows on. May I be carried along on that life-flow, unafraid of change, disengaging myself from the snags along the way that hold me back and interrupt my progress.
Today I Will Remember

Living is changing.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

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March 27

Program friendships are special.

Until we came into the program we may have thought that friendships were all alike. We counted on friends to socialize and gossip with, maybe to share a secret with. But when we were really scared about our lives and the future, we felt too vulnerable to let anyone else know our innermost thoughts.

What relief the program has brought us, and what good friends! No problem seems as terrifying now that we are no longer shouldering it alone. Having to make a decision no longer overwhelms us when we have other people to discuss it with. Letting ourselves be deeply cared for, with all our faults, is a new experience too. All these gifts come automatically to us within the fellowship. All that is asked of us is that we be a friend too.

I will extend my heart in friendship today, and my concerns will be lightened.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

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March 28

Intuition enhances the knowledge we have gained and the expertise we have developed. Described by Buckminster Fuller—a highly innovative and creative architect, author, and visionary—as “cosmic fishing,” this natural faculty of mind has great survival value. We might imagine our intuition as a divining rod that helps locate underground streams, so we know where to dig. Or we might visualize it as a simple lifting of the veil, a flash of lightning, or dipping our finger to touch the cosmic ocean of information.

Intuition allows us to tune into the voices of unseen inner guides or whispers heard in the middle of the night, despite the normal bubbling of thoughts in the jumble of our mind. Just like we are learning to be more fluent with our feelings in recovery, intuition asks us to recognize and decipher our body’s vivid messages—verbal, visual, or kinesthetic (body-felt awareness). Then we will appreciate that those everyday hunches, which seem to descend like an offering from outside, are really a direct line to our connection with all that is. We flash on what normally might be missed in the daily hustle and bustle of our lives to gain insight on what could be.

I welcome the magic of intuitive knowledge in things both large and small.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

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March 29

Boundaries

Sometimes, life and people seem to push and push. Because we are so used to pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn’t hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us, we may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us.

There’s nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to get our attention. Sometimes, the pain and pushing are pointing toward a lesson. The lesson may be that we’ve become too controlling. Or maybe we’re being pushed to own our power to take care of ourselves. The issue is boundaries.

If something or somebody is pushing us to our limits, that’s exactly what’s happening: we’re being pushed to our limits. We can be grateful for the lesson that’s here to help us explore and set our boundaries.

Today, I will give myself permission to set the limits I want and need to set in my life.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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March 30

A relationship can’t be healthier than the people in it.

~Mary Kay W.

We all dream of having marvelous relationships. But unless we’re willing to work our own recovery program, that dream will stay a dream. The other person in the relationship, the partner, complicates the equation even more because he or she also must be serious about personal growth if our dream is to come true.

The issues faced by adult children invariably affect relationships. Why? Because it is precisely our capacity for intimacy that has been “dented” most, as shown in our fear of commitment and in our compulsive need to please, to never be alone, and to place others first. We fear abandonment and are afraid to ask that our needs be met. Intimacy is a key relationship issue for adult children.

The first step in making our dreams come true has nothing to do with him or her or them. It has to do with us and our taking responsibility for our own health and well-being.

Today, I pray for greater understanding of my own strengths and weaknesses as a partner in a relationship. I will make myself ready for the kind of relationship I dream about.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children