Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2023

[bluidkiti]

December 25

Quote of the Week

"I can’t do God’s will my way."

I remember driving home drunk after parties, window open, one eye closed so the lane would stop moving. I’d pray to God to get me home safe, promising I would behave the next time. The next morning when I came to, I’d have some juice and coffee, the fog would clear, and I would think that next time I would control my drinking better, and that I didn’t need God’s help after all. And then I’d be driving home from a party again. . . .

When I worked the Steps in the program, there was a lot of talk about God’s will, and turning my will and life over, and praying for the knowledge and power to carry that out. It was confusing for me because I was still trying to use His will to secretly fuel and further my own. For many years my ego was still in charge, and I was able to deceive myself into thinking that if I wanted it, then it must be God’s will as well. I wasted a lot of years trying to do God’s will my way.

My experience has been that once I am truly ready to seek a “Higher” way—usually through a surrender because my will has failed to get me what I want—that is when the miracle happens and my life changes. It happened when I finally let go of my old ideas around drinking, it happened when I finally surrendered my ideas about a relationship, and it has happened in many other areas of my life as well. The truth is that God’s will is always better for me, and once I stop trying to twist His will to fit my own, my life and those of everyone else around me improve.