Completely Filled

[MajestyJo]

When I came into recovery, I was very fragmented and empty. All my life I had felt less than, not whole, different, etc. and through the program, I was able to fill up on spiritual things, instead of using people, places and things.

When I tried to quit smoking, people said, "We will still love you if you gain 30 lbs." I replied, "Yes, I know, but I won't love myself and after 6 days, I relapsed."

I didn't want to quit, it took 7 years in recovery to become willing to quit. I had to pray for the willingness to quit. I went to NA, picked up key tags, worked the Steps and applied them to my life. I had to pray for the obsession to be taken from me. I still want a cigarette, but just for today, I choose not to use. If I picked up a cigarette, it would kill me faster than a pill or a drink.

Through working the 12 Steps, I was reborn of the spirit. The person that came into recovery, is no more.