Pause For Thought

[MajestyJo]

Quote: "Sometimes I think I'm going to die from the sadness. Not that anyone ever died from crying for two hours, but it sure feels like it."

As a survivor of child (sexual) abuse you have a lot to grieve for. You will grieve for the way you were hurt. You will grieve for not being protected, for the things you missed out on as a child. You will grieve for the time and money it takes to heal, for the relationships and happiness you have lost.

If you covered up your pain by pretending you had a happy childhood, you will have to grieve for the ideal family you didn't really have. You'll have to give up the idea that the abuser had your best interests at heart.

You may have to grieve for the fact that you don't have suitable grandparents for your children, or a family you can depend on.

You must also grieve for the shattered image of a world that is fair and safe for children. You will grieve for your lost innocence and ability to trust.

Quote: As a survivor of child 'sexual' abuse you have a lot to grieve for.

Buried grief

Buried grief poisons you. It limits your ability to feel joy or to be fully alive. An important part of healing is to express the grief you've carried inside.

When you were young, you had to hide your feelings. Now, to move on in your life, you need to go back and relive the experiences you had as a child. You have to feel the grief and anguish, but this time with the support of caring people. You might wonder how going back into the pain can help release you from it. But this is how healing from trauma works.

The way to move beyond grief is to experience your pain fully and honor your feelings. When you face your feelings, and they are met with caring and compassion, they change.

- A first book for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis


A lot of my pain was done by a psychic healer and by using Dyanetics written by L. Ron Hubbard.,which is a tool of The Church of Scientology. I don't believe in the church but I believe in the tool that is offered. It goes beyond Steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve and helps you to heal at a deeper level.

Some of the pain I revisited, but a lot of it was just a mass of pent up energy, that I needed to release and let go of in a healthy way. I didn't have to "live" in it, I could revisit but come back to the present and not stay there which is so important when healing this type of pain. That was then, this is now; but what happened back then, can affect me in today until I heal and let it go.

About Grief

You may feel foolish crying over events that happened so long ago. But grief stays stored up until you have a chance to express it.

Quote: The way to move beyond grief is to experience your pain fully and honor your feelings.

Grief has its own timing. You can't say, "This is it. I'm going to grieve now." You have to make room for grief as it arises. You need to give yourself the time and space to let go.


Quote: "I had been in therapy for several months and I began to feel safe. There were weeks when I entered the building, went up the stairs, and checked in, all with a smile on my face. Then I'd enter the office, and my therapist would close the door. Before she could even get to her chair, I'd be crying. Deep within me I help those feelings, waiting until I new there would be time and compassion."

However your grieve, allow yourself to release the feelings you've been holding inside. Grieving can be a grief relief.


Many times over the years, especially the last eleven years of recovery; I have sat in meditation after asking for what I needed to heal, and the ability to let go of what I didn't need, want or desire. I have sat there with tears just streaming down my face. Most times, not knowing the source, but other times, as a result of something that had triggered me in today.

Tears are a great healer. They cleanse the soul.

Written in 2010