Big Book Study

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #21

Good morning everyone!

We're at Paragraph 3 on page 64 - "Resentment is the number one
offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else." Again we
see it isn't necessarily booze that destroys us, but resentment.

Resentment was a word that I was unfamiliar with when I came to AA.
It means to re-feel old feelings. An example of resentment is when
we run into someone who said something nasty to us six months ago;
if we seethe with the anger as if the statement was made to us this
morning, we have resentment.

Alcoholics seem to store all this stuff within and it makes for a
disconcerting individual. Step 4 is where we begin to deal with these
resentments by putting them down on paper. This is the first of four
lists we will make in connection with Step 4.

"In dealing with resentments, we set them down on paper. We listed
people, institutions (perhaps the police or the DMV) or principles
(10 Commandments, etc.) with whom we were angry."

We begin our 4th Step by writing out a list of resentments. Our list
will be comprised of 5 columns. On the left hand column we list all
of those resentments first. We'll continue with the other four
columns later once we have written out our first-column list. We
think back over our lives and think about how we would feel if we
ran into Mr. or Ms. ______. If our second grade teacher, Miss
Crabtree, called us lazy or stupid in front of the class and we were
ashamed of it and we begin to experience old anger when thinking of
her we write her name down. If my lazy ass brother dropped by would
I resent his presence? My boss, do I resent her? My ex-wife? My
mother? The police? College professors? Drill Sargeant? The auto
mechanic who ripped me off? My neighbor? The guy who made a pass at
my wife? And what about God -- do I resent Him?

Once we are done listing everyone we will begin filling out the next
column: "The Cause." Next to each name we list what they did to
cause me to become angry. We move from the top of the list to the
bottom, and write out the cause for each resentment. (Page 65 is a
great place for tips.)

We'll go through the last three columns in our next post.

Have a great day!

Jim