Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Rejection

I had a lot of rejection in my life, but the sadest part was the fact that I rejected myself and lived mylife through others. I had all these built up emotions, and when I quit smoking at 7 years sober, I had a whole set of feelings that I hadn't felt before because the cigarettes, helped to stuff them. I found anger, resentment, rejection, sadness, hurt, abandonment, and a whole list of things that I had to do another 4th Step on. As they say, you have to feel them before you can let them go. I had to give myself permission to hurt and become vulnerable. Because of the abuse in my life, I had a lot of issues to deal with. As I have stated on the board, I was 15 years sober when I went to sexual assault counselling. We deal with things when we are able. I had shut down at an early age and you can't change or heal anything, if you don't acknowledge that it is there.