Chipping Away at Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will trust my God, knowing that He will see me through this. I am having problems thinking through the pain, so taking myself to my bed this time, and hopefully when I wake up, my brain is working.

[dwmoeller]

Just for today, I will be happy. Abraham Lincoln once said that, "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Be Happy Today!!

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will go with the flow. Not sure if there is a clog somewhere, but willing to change if I come upon a blockage. I am willing o go to any length for my sobriety.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will be honest with myself. It is so easy to just shut down and shut off, because I have been dealing with chronic pain for years.

I have been doing a time out, because the pain was so bad, I had to stop and think, "What is going on here." It generally boils down to what am I not letting go. How can I know what to change if I don't take an honest look at me and what is around me, things that I am allowing into my space that is not for my Higher Good.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I need to practice patience. Practice, practice, practice, I have darts picking me up to take me to my home group and bring me home.

I don't like being put on hold. I don't like having to wait for someone. If you say a certain time, be there. My appointment with my eye specialist for 11:10 a.m. and I will probably not be seen before 11:45 a.m., now watch him make a fibber out of me.

[dwmoeller]

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will acknowledge my feelings. I won't stuff them, I will acknowledge them. I will accept them for what they are in the moment, and let go and let God.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will let go of my anger. Anger is a danger to me. I know my son is acting out in his disease, but it is deliberate attack on me when he is defensive about his actions and tries to put the ownesses on me. Not sure if that is spelled right, it is the word that came to mind. This disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. My son has barely touched on recovery in 5 treatment centers, but that isn't recovery, that is but a stepping stone. Many talk about the Steps, but for me that is just a glorified Step One. We don't detox in 6 weeks or months, it takes 11 months or more at least it was for me. I was one of the really sick ones.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will pray for patience and tolerance. I have three appointments this week and I have to wait on Darts. An hours appointment becomes a three hour minimum trip there and back. I have had a hard time accepting that I need to do this. The snow and freezing rain we have been getting, makes me grateful for the service.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will work on my patience. Today will be a challenge as I have to go downtown and the sidewalks are not cleared. Not sure if more snow is going to come down on what is already there, hope it will be cleared enough for me to get to the bus stop. There is a bus that will take me close to the library. Just because things don't go my way is no reason to get upset. I just need to go with the flow and just be and the rest will fall in to place.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I am praying for the willingness to be willing to accept things as they are in today. I re-hurt my arm last night trying to get something stored on my balcony. I have a couple of more scars and old ones that were healing, got re-opened. Then my toe was bleeding and I left blood on my kitchen floor, and then I burned myself, not badly, but enough to be noticed.

On top of that, I ended up playing Queen of my domain by spending a lot of time on my Throne. I am thinking I have some kind of infection. I am grateful that I have a doctor's appointment on the 23rd. Hoping it won't be cancelled.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will try to forgive myself and my son. I have a major resentment going on and it is going to take a lot of praying to let it go. It qualified in part to fit the chip, preceptive/judgmental. No matter what the other person does, it is all up to me.

[MajestyJo]

Today was definitely patience, practicing it in all my affairs. Not just with people I know, but with the shoppers and people out and about for the holiday who have no manners and walk around like everyone else isn't there, no excuse me, sorry, thank you, kiss my a$$, etc.

I have no patience with people like that. It isn't just about the alcoholic, unless the whole world is comprised of alcoholics and addicts.

[dwmoeller]

Just for today, I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. It will make me feel better and will brighten up somebody's day. A win-win deal!

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will let go and let God. I did a meditation today when I got home from the doctor's office, and that is the message I got. He sent me for more blood work when I told him about the migraines I have been having. It was hard to believe that I slept for over 6 hours in one way, but when I look at all the two hour sleeps I have had in the last week, it is not surprising. It still seems to go, go, go and crash. I thought with taking Darts, it would be easier. I think it is me, not liking to be kept waiting. It seems like I am putting my life on hold waiting for others, and that is something I did all of my life, and it doesn't sit well with me in today.

I want to say, hurry up people. When I hear myself, I know it isn't all about me. Again, it is about acceptance.