Chipping Away at Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will meditate and connect with my God. When I put crystals in my hand, I feel close to Him. They are a part of His Creation. When I meditate, I am better able to let go of the excess baggage that I may pick up during the day and connect to others with healing and loving thoughts.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will accept people as they are; and not project onto them how I think they should act or do according to the rules of JoAnne. Just because I have a program and choose to work it to the best of my ability, I can not put expectations on others, especially if they don't have a program.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will try to focus. The last two nights I have been falling asleep at my computer. I feel it is important to post every day, but with my blood pressure going high/low, haven't always had the energy I needed to do what I wanted. It is so important to turn each day over to my Higher Power and follow His direction for my life. I find He seems to have more faith in me than I have in myself.

[dwmoeller]

Just for today, I will share my experience, strength, and hope as much as possible and as creatively as possible. I will help another in his/her recovery, extend my hand and listen.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will let things unfold as they should be, not always as I would have them be. I am trying to be patient with the pharmacy, I asked that I get my blister pack by 1 p.m. so I can take my noon medications. My stomach is telling me it is hungry, but it can't be with all the food I grazed on this morning. When the time is right, it will happen. If need be, I can always go down and get my noon medications, and leave the rest until she is able to get it done.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will pray for patience and tolerance. Nearly every time I go to see my doctor, I see an intern first. I feel like things get lost in translation. You can tell more about a person if you are looking at them. i.e. like my ACbruises from losing my balance.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will accept me for where I am at and I will accept others for who they are and where they are at in their recovery. I will be glad to get to the neurologist and hopefully he can fix the tremon disorder in my left hand, it is getting worse and making it difficult to type. I can type, but keep making mistakes, and that isn't acceptable to me in today. It is okay if I make them and catch them, but not okay to miss them and post them so others can see. It is me having problems with Ms. Perfectionism who is a part of my dis-ease, not a recovery tool.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will practice patience, again! I have to wait until the 13th to see the doctor. I also have more blood work to do, when I can find a morning to do it in. Yesterday was my AA meeting and today is the foot clinic. I am anxiously awaiting to go there, I woke up at ungodly hour, the clock said,"7:42 a.m." and my alarm was set for 9 a.m. I didn't go to sleep until after 4 a.m. It looks like today will be another nap time, I am really hurting today.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will try to remember that this is a one day at a time program. It doesn't matter that I have been sober for 25 years, all I have is today. I just have more years of experience, trying to live the program one day at a time. There are days, I still don't get it right. I suffer from long and short memory loss, and some days it takes a lot of acceptance, honesty, and surrender. God I can't, you can, and just for today, I choose to let you.

Love this guy, it shows how I feel most days. I am so grateful for the program that allows me to be right side up.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I don't have a clue, I think I could take the whole list of 'defects' after, taking a header into my bathtub. I feel stupid, which is dumb in and of itself. I am sore, but I accept that I need TLC, even though my son said that "You just have to tough it out Mom." I wanted to hit him, so I think there is some anger there too. The longer I sat, the worse I felt, and I am still shaking, I am having problems without making a lot of typing errors. It is so strange, I just have no patience with myself when I make typing errors. It is something I did all my life, and don't like making what I call silly errors. So just turning everything over to my God, asking for His help. I should have asked my son for help instead of trying to pick up my deodorant which was behind the toilet.

I am starting to nod off, so it looks like I need to go to bed whether I want to or not.

I think I hid the back of my head, but I am not sure, I know the rest of my body is hurting, so I figured if I came online, I would feel better for being here.

This feels like the chaos going on with my body. It is good that I can go within and find peace.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will remember where I came from. I do not want to go back there. For me to use is to die. I must remember that one drug can take me back to another on. The drugs are but a symptom of my disease, the problems is me.

[dwmoeller]

Just for today, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will be accepting of what is in the moment. I am trying to post, but the more I do, the more pain I get in my feet, which seems dumb to me. My feet swell, the circulation is bad and tonight my feet feel like they are bleeding. I am not very accepting of the pain, it is time for some changes.

I am still having problems with my balance, and my fall into the bath tub was a good indicator that I need to have a sit down talk with my doctor. I called today and said, "I want to talk to my doctor about my medication, I don't want to talk to an intern."

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will try not to react, especially to other people's actions. The taxi driver today was rude and slamming doors, and his body language was even nastier than what came out of his mouth. I even gave him an extra dollar, because he was not please that my fare was a short ride. It was his stuff, and by giving him the extra money, I was taking it on. It is his job. I can't remember if I said the words or not, but I thought, "By helping me, perhaps you will get a better fare later."

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will allow myself some TLC. At the moment, my music is trying to put me to sleep. Again, I had to pray for the willingness to be willing to come online as my feet have been bothering me the last few days. They always swell, which adds to the pain if I sit too long; yet I know to get out of self, help someone else, so I hope my words today helps someone on their journey.