We Do Recover

[MajestyJo]

One More Day

October 29

You may talk on all subjects save one, namely, your maladies.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Casual conversations have an unspoken rule: never, never tell about our pain, our misery, our difficulties. Ironically, the stars of social gatherings are often the ones who have just suffered an accident or injury. We show interest and concern for new and obvious problems; we often ignore ongoing ones. A leg cast has glamor; a wheelchair has none.

We can understand this. Human nature finds adventure in broken bones or neck braces. It also finds reassurance because these injuries are temporary and the victim will be as good as new in a matter of weeks. Many people can’t identify with the permanence of chronic illness, but we can educate them about our social concerns without provoking pity.

My life becomes more balanced when I enjoy social activities as social — not medical — events.

This reminds me of a saying my mom had. "I am sick in bed with my feet hanging out the window." It certainly doesn't make sense, but does bring a smile. In today, I am sure that she had Fibromyalgia the same as I have, although it was diagnosed back then, over 60 years ago. It doesn't always get recognition in today.

[MajestyJo]

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This may appear as a joke, yet in fact, it is too close to the truth.

In today, I don't need to call my sponsor that often. When we do connect, we have a good natter.

In early recovery, my sponsor let me go because I was so sick that because of her own health, she felt like she couldn't be there for me. She later took me back under her wing.

Without a sponsor, I don't think I would have stayed sober in early recovery. She was a lifeline. The top of a long list of people who were there for me. I had a strong network of support. The sad thing is that I have detached from a lot of them, for the most part, it is due to my health, and me not getting out to meetings.

At different times in my recovery, I have had an AA sponsor, a co-sponsor, and a spiritual adviser. Because I needed outside help, I had a NA sponsor and an Al-Anon sponsor. As a result of doing service, I also had a service sponsor, who later became an AA sponsor.

*Remember, it's better to look good than to feel good!
*Why save your ass at the cost of losing your face?

I can remember trying to feel good on the outside because I felt so badly in the inside.

A long-timer once said, "No sense in asking you, you are always feeling good." I thought I had done something wrong. I did feel good. Each day was a gift and my sponsor(s) were a part of that goodness.

Grateful for the sponsor I had over the years.

[MajestyJo]

Journey To The Heart

January 4

Go with What You Know

The commercial on the radio sang to me as I drove across the Southern California desert. “Don’t just go with the flow. Go with what you know.”

Sometimes answers come from outside us. The universe is abundant in its supply of guidance for us. It can’t wait to share its signals, teachings, lessons, and words of wisdom. It is eager to give us guidance if we just watch, wait, and listen. Sometimes this guidance comes from people we know, other times from people we barely know. But even when this help comes from those we are closest to and love most, the answer must resonate with that place deep inside us. It must resonate with our core. It must ring true for us.

Listen to those around you. Listen to the guidance of the universe and all the voices it uses to speak to you. But always trust yourself. Trust your inner voice. Trust what you know, because ultimately your path will bring you back to that place. No matter what you do, if it’s not right for you, you will need to return to your center, your place of peace, and figure out the action that is right.

It’s good to go with the flow. But it’s better to go with what you know– what you know to be true for you. Trusting yourself is the ultimate lesson. It’s where all the guidance leads.

Really like this. Before recovery, I couldn't trust that inner voice, it was generally my disease talking and I was at dis-ease because I didn't know. In recovery, I learned to trust my Higher Self. As my sponsor said, "If you are doubting yourself, you are doubting your Higher Power if you have done Step Three, and made a decision to put your life into the Care of your God.

[MajestyJo]

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When we first came to The Program, whether for ourselves or under pressure from others, some of us were all but sickened by the concept of “surrender.” To admit defeat flew in the face of our life-long beliefs. We thought of the immoral rallying cities of Churchill at Dunkirk, of FDR following the attack of Pearl Harbor. And so we secretly vowed at first, that the very idea of surrender was unthinkable. Here I truly come to believe that only through utter defeat am I able to take the first steps toward liberation and strength? Or do I still harbor reservations about the principle of “letting go and letting God…”?

Today I Pray

May I really believe that the complete surrender of my whole being to a Higher Power is the way to serenity. For I can be whole only in Him, who has the power to make me whole. May I do away with of any feelings of wanting to “hold out” and never admit defeat. May I unlearn the old adage which tells me that I must “never give up” and realize that such pridefullness could keep me from recovery.

Today I Will Remember

From Wholly His to Whole

How is that for a punch line. Pray for the willingness to be willing to do what ever it takes to be clean and sober and find sobriety (soundness of mind).

[MajestyJo]

Are you ready to explore how to BEFRIEND YOUR EMOTIONS?

Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson have identified 9 BASIC FEARS that they believe shape our personalities. (Source: The Wisdom of the Enneagram)

1. Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil or defective
2. Fear of being unworthy of being loved
3. Fear or being worthless or without inherent value
4. Fear of being without identity or personal significance
5. Fear of being useless, incapable or incompetent
6. Fear of being without support or guidance
7. Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain
8. Fear of being harmed or controlled by others
9. Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.

EXERCISE: While we may feel each of these fears at one time or another, one or two of them will influence us more strongly than the others. Which of these 9 fears do you know or suspect to be your basic fear(s)? Write down examples or situations in which you experience these fears.

Once we've identified our basic fear (or a fear of anything), we can begin to move through it. It helps to know that fears always arise from A MISUNDERSTANDING OF WHO WE REALLY ARE. Our soul is fearless because it knows that nothing can threaten our true nature.

And so, when we're fearful, we can use our imagination to invite our soul to be present. When the courage, love and compassion of the soul can sit with our frightened personality, the experience of BRINGING THE HIGHER TO THE LOWER TRANSFORMS THE FEARS.

Both the fear and the love must come together for WHOLENESS. Affirming love while denying the fear will only give the unacknowledged fear more power in our subconscious. To resolve the fear, we must bring it consciously into the presence of a higher, more causal power.

"Every man has a coward and hero in his soul." -- Thomas Carlyle


John and Patrice Robson
www.higherawareness.com

My life was full of fear. It was really awesome to see them drop away and have them disappear, become manageable, and overcome by the trust I had in the program. I saw it working in others, and learn to trust that it could work for me too.

I was immobilized by my fears, isolated my soul until I could find a Power greater than myself to help me overcome them.

[MajestyJo]

Walk In Dry Places

Unexpected Disappointments____Acceptance.

As life unfolds, we sometimes get unexpected disappointments that seem undeserved -- the car breaks down, a business deal goes sour, or a close friend betrays us. As alcoholics, most of us don't handle such things too well. "Why me, Lord?" we often respond.

Our best approach is simply to view life as a mixture of bitter and sweet, knowing that we've been given real mastery over conditions. We cannot always be sure that a disappointment really is as bad as it seems to be, and sometimes it can become a step toward our good. As one alcoholic phrased it, "some of the worst things that have happened turned out to be the best."

It's good to face the day with optimism, with confidence, and even with some excitement about the opportunities ahead. If we're maintaining sober thinking, everything that happens today will be transformed into gains for tomorrow -- all our tomorrows. We're on a spiritual journey that goes far beyond anything we're doing here and now.

I won't expect to be disappointed today, but I'll know that nothing can really upset or disturb me without my permission.

Like this, it is about accepting what is in the moment, even if I don't like it. If I think of all the worst case scenarios, I attract them to me. What I put out is returned to me. If I think negative, I will get negative in return. If I think positive, then positive will be given to me.

Expectations can be real dampers on our parade. We tend to project them onto others as well as onto ourselves. When we or they don't measure up, we feel less than.

Like it says, we are on a Spiritual journey. We travel it one step at a time. Some days we need all 12.

I needed to learn to live the Traditions too.

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

For all the sadness of closure, there is a new and joyful unfolding in the process of becoming.
—Mary Casey

We must let go of people, places, memories, and move on to new experiences. The doors of the past must be closed before we can enter those that are opening to us today. However, no experience is gone forever. All of our experiences are threaded together, each one contributing to the events that claim our attention now.

Recovery has offered us a chance to be aware of our process of becoming. With each day, each experience, each new understanding, we are advancing along the path of personal growth. Let us remember that each of us has a particular path, like no other. Thus, our experiences are ours alone. We need not envy what comes to someone else.

Life is unfolding for us. The pain of the present may be necessary for the pleasure of tomorrow. We can accept the unfolding. Our inner selves have a goal; experiences of the past must be left in the past; experiences at hand will lead us to our destination today.

I am moving and changing and growing, at the right pace. The process can be trusted. What is right for me will come to me. I will let the joy of becoming warm me.

A good reminder, of that space between something ending and something new beginning, is called the state of being. Either the door hasn't been revealed yet or I haven't complete closed the door on the past and haven't cut off all times to something I need to let go of.

So often the pain we feel is a result of our own making, because we have problems letting go and stepping forward into something new. As I read earlier, I have to take a risk and take the next step forward. My God generally has greater plans than I ever thought possible.

[MajestyJo]

Keep It Simple

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.---William Allen White

Big changes are happening to us, but we can trust that changes will bring good things. After all, what have we got to lose? We have lived through the days and years of our addiction. Now, with the help of our Higher Power, the pain of those days has ended. We have no reason to worry.

Yet, recovery won't make our lives perfect. Hard things still happened. But we never have to lose hope again. We never have to feel alone with our problems. What will come next? We don't know the details, but we can be sure the future will be good if we stay on our path of recovery.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I know life holds many new things for me. Help me and protect me as I live in Your care today.

Action for the Day: Today, I'll trust that each day of my life will bring me good. I will share this idea with one friend.

What a blessed assurance.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today! William Allen White

[MajestyJo]

The Language of Letting Go

Balance

Seek balance.

Balance emotions with reason.

Combine detachment with doing our part.

Balance giving with receiving.

Alternate work with play, business with personal activities.

Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.

Juggle responsibilities to others with responsibilities to ourselves.

Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.

Whenever possible, let’s be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.

Some of us have to make up for lost time.

Today, I will strive for balance.

This is something a struggle with. I think a lot of it is in my nature, all or nothing at all. I am an Aires. And as I like to say, "The left foot moves forward and the right foot doesn't know it is suppose to follow." Act/react something I had trouble with and God and I are working on it one day at a time.

Right now, my balance is off and it is causing my falls. I can't catch myself, I am powerless, so I need to build up my muscle tone. There is always a solution if you know where to find it. If you don't know, you have to do what I did, reach out for help,

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.

After Burn

How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.

This is common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.

We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. They're a backlash. They're after burn. Let them burn out.

When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after burn. The after burn is what we allowed to control us all our life - shame and guilt.

Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn't okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn't okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn't okay.

Let it all burn off. We don't have to take after burn so seriously. We don't let the after burn convince us that we are wrong and don't have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.

Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say?

You bet we do.

Today, I will let any after burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior, burn off. I will not take it so seriously. God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.

I am good enough...just the way I am. --Ruth Fishel

Never heard it called after burn before. That is what shame, guilt, fear can do it's number on us until we can let them go, recognize them for what they are, at that takes the power out of them. Let go and Let God is a good slogan to get rid of that burn and not leave a nasty after taste.

For many years I didn't think I was worthy of recovery. As I have shared before, my counselor when I was 6 years sober (I went for outside help), asked my why I hadn't asked for forgiveness of myself. I told her, "I never thought to ask," I was one of the sick ones. I stayed sick because of my denial.

I went to AA for my denial, I went to NA for identification, and I went to Al-Anon to find myself.

[MajestyJo]

Never heard it called after burn before. That is what shame, guilt, fear can do it's number on us until we can let them go, recognize them for what they are, at that takes the power out of them. Let go and Let God is a good slogan to get rid of that burn and not leave a nasty after taste.

For many years I didn't think I was worthy of recovery. As I have shared before, my counselor when I was 6 years sober (I went for outside help), asked my why I hadn't asked for forgiveness of myself. I told her, "I never thought to ask," I was one of the sick ones. I stayed sick because of my denial.

I went to AA for my denial, I went to NA for identification, and I went to Al-Anon to find myself.

My dad said I was more contrary than stubborn. I would argue for argument sake. i think there was a little bit of stubbornness if I look for it. What I did find out was that I didn't always have to ask for each specific time I was stubborn, I just have to ask that my stubbornness be removed. By acknowledging it, it takes away it's power.

Again it is about acceptance, I don't have to like it to accept it; but I do have to accept it if I want to grow and change. Without the acceptance, I stay stuck.

[MajestyJo]

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

INTELLECTUALIZING

Don’t intellectualize, utilize.

~ Anonymous ~

Many times we waste our minds by using them too much. A mind out of control can waste a life. Our mind can tell us we are better or less than another. It can tell us we need things we don’t, and that we should fear situations we needn’t. The power of the mind to intellectualize a life into a mess is amazing.

Our Program should be utilized, not intellectualized. We do not need to waste time debating points about the Program. We will not resolve with other intellectuals whether or not alcoholism and drug addiction are physical diseases or bad habits. The point, for us addicts, is that we will waste our life, die or go insane if we do not stay in recovery. All we have to do is look around a meeting room to see whether or not it works.

The Steps tell me HOW the Program works. The Traditions tell me why it works. My sponsor and fellow members show me THAT it works.

My co-sponsor told me, 'Stop it. If you are still intellectualizing stop it, quit trying to figure things out. Just do, don't try to figure out why or how, just do it. The program has worked for others for many years. have faith and trust the program will work for you.

[MajestyJo]

This is me. My old friend from New Zealand told me many years ago, Ms Perfection is part of your disease. Having things perfect is not the spiritual aim in recovery. We aim toward it trying to pput aside old behaviors and ways of thinking.

Progress, not perfection.

[MajestyJo]

Post Options Post by majestyjo on 17 minutes ago
Journey To The Heart

Your Heart Will Guide You Through

If you feel confused, alone, unsure of what to do next, go back to a place you can trust– your heart. In matters of work, money, love, play, go back to your heart.

The issues that arise in your life can be dealt with from the heart. You will be guided through gently, safely, with love and truth, along the path that’s best for you. Are you feeling upset? Do you wonder why things aren’t working out? Are you unsure of the map, uncertain of the next step, wondering how to untangle the mess of the past?

The answer isn’t in your head, it’s in your heart. It’s not outside of you, although sometimes we receive guidance from others. The answer you’re seeking, the guidance you’re looking for needs to feel right to you. It needs to resonate with your heart. Your heart is the center, the balance point for your emotions, your intellect, and your soul. Your heart is safe.

Go back to your heart. It will always lead you home.

They say that the longest journey we will make in recovery is from our head to our heart. For me, back to basics is going back to when I found a program for me and look at what I did then and what am I doing now. Have I left something behind that got me to where i am in today. Do I need to reinstate it.

Have I lost my heart. Am I back in my head trying to intellectualize and figure things out.

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.

One receives only that which is given. The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words, return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy. --Florence Scovel Shin

Each of us can attest to the truth of this passage. During the difficult times, however, it is not uppermost in our minds that "what goes around, comes around." It feels all too easy to be justifiably resentful or to gossip, or to ignore another's presence. And the repercussions are seldom immediate. They will come, though.

Goodness is likewise repaid. Giving love, attention, respect to the individuals who share our lives and to the people who cross our paths by chance, will smooth our own passage day by day. The effects of our goodness will often be felt quickly. A smile elicits a smile. Kind thoughts bless us as well as the receiver. Life events do come full circle.

With a bit of effort, I can smile at someone today, even though I'm frowning inside. Both will be better for it.

A smile is always brighter when it comes back at you. When I deposit in my smile bank, I receive dividends. That is what makes it spiritual.