When one alcoholic/addict shares with another alcoholic/addict

[MajestyJo]

August 24
More language of letting go

Celebrate who you are

Today, celebrate who you are. Yes, you have much in common with other people. But you're also uniquely you.

Grab a piece of paper and something to write with. Now write down:

1. A lesson that you have learned in life.

2. A talent that you have, no matter how quirky.

3. Your favorite meal.

4. The name of a friend who respects and likes you for who you are.

5. An activity that you enjoy.

Now, pick up the phone and call your friend. Invite him or her to a celebration with you. Do the activity that you enjoy-- go for a walk, go to a ballgame, sit at home and watch videos, whatever you like to do. Then prepare your favorite meal or go to a restaurant and have them prepare it. Show your friend your talent-- remember this person likes and respects you for who you are. So if you can balance a Ping-Pong ball on the tip of your nose, go ahead and do that. Show him or her how good you are. Talk to your friend about the lessons you have learned, and invite him or her to share a lesson learned from you.

Instead of fussing and worrying about how different you are, be grateful that you're unique.

Celebrate being you.

God, thanks for me,too.

Like the last line. I was so fragmented when I came into recovery. The program put me back together and made me whole.

[MajestyJo]

Walk In Dry Places

Going with the Flow

Problem solving.

It's surprising how many problems solve themselves when we're willing to turn them over to our Higher

Power. This isn't a self-fulfilling prophecy brought about by suspicious beliefs we can actually find proof of this seemingly providential activity in our lives.

We don't have to convince anybody except ourselves that this process works. What we can prove is that some of our best opportunities come about by what we would call chance or coincidence. Indeed, the first meeting of two AA founders could be called such a chance event.

We need to believe that our Higher Power is working ceaselessly for the upward development of the human race, and Twelve Step programs can be essential forces in this upward development. In our own lives, we can go with this flow of ever-increasing good, as we continue to feel ourselves a part of it.

I will not wrestle with every problem today. Some problems will be

dealt with later and some will seem to solve themselves. I will

know that I am part of an upward development that is continuing.

This spoke to me again of turning my speech over as well as my thoughts and my actions. Another way of saying, "Hesitate and Meditate." Think before you speak. Helps to take away the fear of putting the wrong foot forward and take away the fear of saying the wrong thing.

[MajestyJo]

One of the things that stood out for me this weekend was a person who shared, when you take away the alcohol, the 'ics' are still there.

The alcohol was but a symptom of my disease. It was the thinking and behaviors behind the drinking that I needed to change and let go of.

I haven't had a drink in 18 years and yet I can still slip back into old patterns and behaviors. The good thing is it doesn't happen as often and I can recognize where I am at and I can make a decision to pick up the tools to change.

Just for this day, I will try to be the best me that I can be today.

Well this needs an up date, this was typed 5 years ago. It is a one day at a time program. I haven't had a drink for 23 years ago, and I can still slip back into old behaviors. I was just thinking at my Al-Anon meeting this week, I seldom pull a hissy fit and do the stomping of the feet and don't do the yelling and screaming like a banshee thing, yet the old me can still put in an appearance.

I was having a little chuckle today while walking in the mall downstairs. A sponsee of mine once told me that I was the only person she knew who could wear red and black and not look like a hooker. I think it was a compliment. I was wearing black tights and a long red top with black print and the thought came to mind, I certainly hope so seeing as I am 73. I don't even want to look like a retired one, yet I don't want to look put out to pasture and over the hill either. LOL!

So many times we look at judge. Hopefully there is enough goodness inside that it shines through and makes itself known in today. AA tamed the shrew a long time ago.

[MajestyJo]

Well this is another update, I celebrated 26 years on the 21st and picked up my black key tag at NA last night. I will be celebrating at my home group on Friday.

This is a one day at a time program, and just for today, I choose not to use. I will celebrate at my AA home group Four Directions on the 31st of August. It is about being clean and sober.

I was talking to a friend who I have known since I came into the rooms of recovery. We go way back, so it is always good to connect with another alcoholic, someone who was there when I came in. He came to my group, and has been before, and it is good that he chose our group, when he felt like he needed a meeting. I am in agreement with him, the newcomer is important for sure, but old timers can hurt too.

[MajestyJo]

Lie down and listen to the crabgrass grow, the faucet leak, and learn to leave them so.

– Marya Mannes

Sometimes we are driven by a need to get everything done. We have an inner sense of what we should be, and we work toward meeting that expectation. But we may strive beyond those goals because of what we believe our friends, our coworkers, and even the advertising media expect of us.

Only we decide which expectations to satisfy. But first, we must be sure that the things we strive for are really our needs and goals. If an alphabetized spice rack or an organized workbench gives us no satisfaction, why should we alphabetize or organize? If an imperfect lawn doesn’t bother us, we can let go of our concern and let the crabgrass grow.

Today, I will hold on only to my goals and expectations. I will let go of those which give me no joy.

This was a reading on Expectations posted on another site on September 7.

The following are three replies I made after reading the quote. I can't believe how different and yet the same they are.

#1
Liked the quote. You can't be in too big of a hurry if you are watching grass grow. Sometimes we don't change that much, it is hard to see it in ourselves, and we are generally the last ones to know. There is no race to be run. There is no need to rush, just face things as they appear in today, don't look at the whole picture, you can become over whelmed. When the time is right you will know, if you turn your day over and put it in the care of your Higher Power

#2

Crab grass reminds me of my disease. It invades everything and spreads into every nook and cranny of my life.

Nothing is more frustrating to me than to hear a tap dripping. It drives me crazy. I do everything I can to stop it, it becomes a major emergency. It can be something so simple, which is generally the last straw, and I lose it. Thanks to the tools of recovery, I don't have to act out in my disease.

The promises say I will know a new freedom and a new happiness. I no longer have to live that way, I have nothing to fear, I have my God with me.

#3
So true, it isn't just about the drinking, it is about the thinking. It is about living my life, not just existing and marking time. People look at me funny when I say that there are not enough hours in a day.

I do not do patience well. I can see the perception was off when it was posted and I got a different view of what was written. Sometimes that is how we live life, just sitting there waiting for it to happen and when it catches up to us, we are overwhelmed and we wonder what to do with it.

[MajestyJo]

September 17
One More Day

Fight one more round. When your feet are so tired you have to shuffle back to the center of the ring, fight one more round.

– James J. Corbett

One of the problems we most frequently hear about when a person is ill, whether it be mentally or physically, is exhaustion. We tell our doctors, our friends, anyone who will lend a willing ear, “I’m just so very tired.”

To live in the fullest sense of the word, we have to, first of all, take care of ourselves. If what we feel is physical exhaustion, then we must allow ourselves the needed rest. We don’t have to take on additional projects or commitments to prove ourselves. If, however, our tiredness has an emotional base, we may have to push ourselves — for just one more hour, for just one more day — trusting that the energy will come.

I will take care of myself this day. I am getting stronger, emotionally and spiritually.

This is how I have been feeling lately. Needed to read this today.

[MajestyJo]

Walk In Dry Places

What do We Deserve?

Good Expectations

We hear about people who snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Some of us do that even in sobriety, experiencing failure just as success seems imminent.

At times, we may just be suffering from a bad situation that is all around us. But if we do seem to be having one bad break after another, we should look more carefully within ourselves for causes. We may be punishing ourselves, or pushing away our good simply because we do not feel worth of it.

If we discover that this process is working in our lives, we must begin
changing these false patterns immediately. Having forgiven ourselves and
others, and having made amends, we need no punishment. We will work to
succeed in all of our activities, with a reasonable expectation of success most of the time. We will expect and deserve the best.

I'll carry with me today a belief that I deserve to succeed and will take all necessary action to earn my success.

Remember that I sabotaged good things in early recovery. It was too much of a good thing.

There are times when we want that good feeling or the ultimate high we use to get from using, and don't want to wait until we experience the natural highs of recover, which are so much more rewarding to me.

[MajestyJo]

October 12

Walk In Dry Places

A fatal Feature of alcoholism

Admitting defeat

Part of alcoholism's deadliness lies in its peculiar tendency to blind the victim to the hopelessness of the situation. Time and again, AA members meet people who are in the final stages of their disease, yet are still clinging to the fallacy that things are not as bad as they seem. Indeed, many alcoholics who have engineered their own ruin still believe they are either victims of bad luck or of malevolent action by others.

Let's remember, however, that others might not be so fortunate. We must not criticize them for not being able to accept the hopelessness of their condition. We should also look for our own blind spots about others problems in our lives.

I'll remember today that only the 12 Step program arrested my fatal disease and keeps it at bay. I'll feel kndly toward others who are having trouble admitting defeat; maybe this is the day it will happen for them.

This was hard for me. I had a lot of self-justification and rationalization. I didn't drink beer. I didn't like the taste or the smell. I didn't drink my booze straight. That was because Coca-Cola became my first addiction. For me, it was everybody else's problem, they were the falling down drunk. I later realized I could match them drink for drink, so I couldn't be sober no matter how much I told myself I was okay. I could walk a straight line. I drove my dad and my ex-husband home and didn't get pulled over. One night I had a broken signal light, but I didn't get pulled over. My God was working in my life and I turned a blind eye and wondered how comes things were so bad. I forgot to be grateful.

[MajestyJo]

Daily Reflections

LEST WE BECOME COMPLACENT

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

When I am in pain it is easy to stay close to the friends I have found in the programs. Relief from that pain is provided in the solutions contained in A.A.'s Twelve Steps. But when I am feeling
good and things are going well, I can become complacent. To put it simply, I become lazy and turn into the problem instead of the solution. I need to get into action, to take stock: where am I and
where am I going? A daily inventory will tell me what I must change to regain spiritual balance. Admitting what I find within myself, to God and to another human being, keeps me honest and humble.

Complacency can be comfortable. I was told if and when I felt comfortable and content where I was, then it was time to move on.

[MajestyJo]

Not sure that picture applies to recovery. If we do the do things in today, we have hope for a better tomorrow.

If I become complacent, I might not have a tomorrow. As the saying goes, "Tomorrow never comes." It is about today, doing the best we can in the moment. When we stay in the moment, we don't lose that spiritual defense we need against that first drink or drug.

[MajestyJo]

November 4

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

Gratitude In Action

The story of Dave B., one of the founders of A.A. in Canada in 1944.

I was all alone in Quebec at the time. The Toronto Group had been in operation since the previous fall, and there was a member in Windsor who attended meetings across the river in Detroit. That was A.A. in its entirety in this country.
p. 197

We complain about the distance we have to go to a meeting. It isn't in the right place or at the right time for our convenience. So grateful for those who went before me.

[MajestyJo]

Keep It Simple

Let me listen to me and not to them. ---Gertrude Stein

Often we try to please everyone around us. But this may not make us happy, and so we get angry.

We feel taken advantage of.

We may be kind to others, but first we must love ourselves. How? By learning to listen to ourselves. To our dreams. To our higher power. By doing this we’ll be more happy. And those around us will probably be more happy too.

As our AA medallions say, “To Thine Own Self Be True.”

Prayer for the Day: I pray that I’ll listen to that gentle, loving voice inside me. Higher Power, help me make me make my “conscious contact” with You better.

Action for the Day: I will write down why I need to be true to myself.

It took a long time to trust that inner voice. For so many years I was discounted and told I was stupid. As my ex-husband said, "Who are you to know? What makes you think your opinion counts." My sponsor told me, "If you doubt yourself, you are doubting your God."

[MajestyJo]

As Bill Sees It
Do It Our Way?, p. 329
In praying, our immediate temptation will be to ask for specific
solutions to specific problems, and for the ability to help other people
as we have already thought they should be helped. In that case, we
are asking God to do it our way. Therefore, we ought to consider
each request carefully to see what its real merit is.
Even so, when making specific requests, it will be well to add to each
one of them this qualification: ". . . if it be Thy will."
12 & 12, p. 102
Tried my way for eight years and it didn't work. I replaced alcohol with pills, and in the end, I was doing both. I didn't even consider my eating disorder into the equations at that time.

Everyone else had the problem. My dad, my ex-husband(s), my son who made me feel like they were the ones who made me drink. I didn't know they didn't have the power. I didn't know I was powerless.

It wasn't until I surrendered my disease over to my God, that I was able to quit. I had to stop play 'god' with other people's lives.

[MajestyJo]

Each Day a New Beginning

I want to feel myself part of things, of the great drift and swirl; not cut off, missing things, like being sent to bed early as a child. --Joanna Field

Feeling apart from the action and always looking on; wanting attention, and yet afraid of being noticed; no doubt these are familiar memories to most of us. We may still struggle with our self-perception, but we can celebrate that we no longer drown our moods. Connecting with the people next to us, though difficult, is no longer impossible when we rely on the program.

There is a way to be a part of the action, a way that never fails. It takes only a small effort, really. We can simply look, with love, at someone nearby today and extend our hearts in honest attention. When we make someone else feel special, we'll become special too.

Recovery can help each of us move beyond the boundaries of our own ego. Trusting that our lives are in the loving care of God, however we understand God, relieves us of the need for self-centeredness. We can let go of ourselves now that God is in charge, and we'll discover that we have joined the action.

I will open my heart, and I'll be joined to all that's around me.

All my life, I looked to belong. People pleasing and looking for attention, kept me sick and trying to belong, with no thoughts of what I wanted or needed for myself.

[MajestyJo]

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HOLIDAYS

Keep your recovery First to make it Last.

~ Anonymous ~

We all encounter places, people, and times of the year which trigger memories of our old lifestyle, pleasant or painful events. Holidays and family gatherings may be especially stressful times for us.

There have always been a lot of expectations associated with holidays. Many of us may feel pressured to fulfill those expectations. We need to remember that it is a naturally stressful time and we may feel more nervous than usual. We can avoid forcing moods or events on ourselves or those around us.

In recovery, we are given tips that have helped many members during the holidays. We plan extra Program activities and keep our phone list handy. We skip any slippery occasions that make us uneasy. We attend special Program events. We take a fellow member with us to a possibly slippery party if we feel uncomfortable going alone.

When I keep my recovery Number One in my mind, the holidays, with the help of my friends, will be enjoyable and less stressful.

First things first, is my recovery. I have to put my recovery first, even before my family if need be. This year I promised some young people to be their to support them instead of going out to my sister's on Christmas Eve for church. NA is my church today. I will be going there tomorrow with a niece. One of my nieces has to work, so I am not the only one.