When one alcoholic/addict shares with another alcoholic/addict

[MajestyJo]

Alkiespeaks:

When I slide over from being 'On the Program' to 'Self Will Run Riot' it's seamless. There's no bump, no warning, I'm just there. That's why I need Step 1O. - Trip S.

Never heard this concept before. I was told, whenever I felt comfortable, it was time to move on or take a look at where I was because I might be in an old behavior that no longer serves me in recovery.

I always need Step 10, the biggest lesson I learned was to work it all day long, not just morning and night. It saved me a lot of detours and helped me over a lot of roadblocks.

Will have to give this more thought. I feel that I am in God's will when I turn my day over each morning. When I go with the flow, things unfold as they should. If I fight it and debate as to what I should do or not do, there is a good chance, I am say, "I hear you but I am not willing to do that right now, later!" A sure sign for me, is to go downtown and not see one person I know when I am there. I is a sure sign and indicator, that I am running away from home, and I should have stayed home and did the dishes or the laundry.

It doesn't have to be recovery people, but when it is, it is bonus!

In means to be involved. On can mean your there, but a lot depends on how you are involved as to whether you are sober or whether you are looking for sobriety.

I was told to bring the body and the mind will follow. It was a long process. My eyes were on the program, at first I wasn't even sure what the program was. I just kept coming back.

Have heard a couple of long-timers stressing how much we need to find our own program. I can only be in my program, working it one day at a time. If I am on a program, that gives me an option to quit, change my mind, get new direction, involve other things or ignore the parts I don't like. That does sound like self-will run riot.

I was told to find what worked for me. I found out I was a many faceted woman, who needed many things in order to find recovery. It wasn't just about alcohol and prescription drugs. It is a lot about why I used them in the first place. I had an eating disorder, I wanted to get rich quick and looked for that winning ticket. So much of me was gung ho! get out of my way, I am coming through.

[MajestyJo]

Keep It Simple

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol...--First part of Step One.
In Step One, we accept our powerlessness over alcohol and other drugs. But we are powerless over many parts of life. We are powerless over other people. We are powerless over what our HP has planned for us. Before recovery, we only believed in control. We tried to control everything. We fought against a basic truth, the truth that we are powerless over much of life. When we accept this truth, we begin to see what power we do have. We have the power to make choices. When we're lonely, we have the power to reach out to others. We have power over how we live our own lives.
PRAYER: HP, help me to know that it's You who is running my life. Help me to know that power comes from accepting I am powerless.
ACTION: I am powerless over much of life. Today, I'll look to see how this is true. I'll look to see what I really have control over and what I don't.

Many people say that they are not powerless over themselves. I have learned that in order to have some power, I needed to surrender my life into the care of my God. It is only then, that I am empowered to live out my day.

Surrender isn't giving up, it is giving over to the God of my understanding.

[MajestyJo]

Each Day a New Beginning

We can never go back again, that much is certain. --Daphne DuMaurier

Yesterday is gone, but its experiences will be reflected in those of today. We learned from both the good and the bad situations of yesterday. Where we travel today, likewise, will influence our direction tomorrow. We can't do over what has gone before, but we can positively incorporate all that life is offering us from this moment forth.

We are moving toward greater understanding of life's mysteries with each experience. As today unfolds, we can be moved by the adventures. What we experience is ours alone and will contribute to the unfolding of our special destiny. We move forward, only forward. The doors behind us are closed forever.

Facing what comes to us, with strength, is a gift from this program we share. Letting go of the yesterdays and the last years is another gift offered by this program. And trust that what we face along with what we let go will weave the pattern of our rightful unfolding--that is the ultimate gift given to us by this program.

I need never go back again. I am spared that. My destiny lies in the future. And I can be certain it will bring me all that I desire, and more.

We tend to look at only the bad and not see the good. In other times, we look at the good and forget about the bad. We need to remember the bad to remind us to not go back to where we came from. Play the tape to the end.

[MajestyJo]

As Bill Sees It

A Different Swinging Door, p. 62

When a drunk shows up among us and says that he doesn't like the .A. principles, people, or service management, when he declares that he can do better somewhere else--we are not worried. We simply say, "Maybe your case really is different. Why don't you try something else?"

If an A.A. member says he doesn't like his own group, we are not
disturbed. We simply say, "Why don't you try another one? Or start one of your own."

To those who wish to secede from A.A. altogether, we extend a cheerful invitation to do just that. If they can do better by other means, we are glad. If after trial they cannot do better, we know they face a choice:
They can go mad or die or they can return to A.A. The decision is
wholly theirs. (As a matter of fact, most of them do come back.)

Twelve Conceptions, p. 72

My sponsor told me many years ago, "The quickest way to start a new group is with a resentment and a coffee pot.

[MajestyJo]

Thought for the Day

Friday, APRIL 13

From the book: Today's Gift

Nobody can be in good health if he does not have all the time fresh air, sunshine, and good water.

—Chief Flying Hawk


Before this part of the world was colonized by Europeans, native Americans thrived here, living in wigwams and teepees, spending their time in the fresh air and sun, and drinking pure, fresh water from springs, streams, and rivers. They lived long, healthy lives and almost never were sick--precisely because they knew how important the natural elements were.

When we feel depressed or nervous, nature is a good listener. We can take a walk in the sun, listen to the small birds, or twigs cracking under our feet, or simply the sound of our shoes on the pavement. We don't need to live in teepees to follow the Indians' example today. But getting out in the sunshine and fresh air every day, even on really cold days, rejuvenates us. Sunlight is healing, fresh air cleanses our lungs and brings more oxygen to the blood and brain. When we think enough of ourselves to take a walk when we need it, even that small amount of self-consideration is also healing.

Have I given myself time to live outside today?

I was to walk on the grass instead of the cement wherever possible.

[MajestyJo]

As Bill Sees It

The "Slipper" Needs Understanding, p. 99

"Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious

than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be 'cured' of

alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and

complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things

go fine for two or three years--then the member is seen no more. Some

of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can't or

won't let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer--well,

this combination adds up to slips.

"Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still

others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the

spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are

physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion,

anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in

slips--sometimes they are utterly controlling."

Talk, 1960

SLIP - Sobriety Loses It's Priority. You can't lose what you never had.

[MajestyJo]

SEEK THE INNER CAUSE OF PROBLEMS


"When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?"
-- Robert Half

What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back.

Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to understand that ALL problems are rooted inside us. Even the blocks that appear to be outside of us are only reflecting back an issue we have inside that we have not yet owned. Once we address our inner issue, the outer situation no longer troubles us.

The buck always stops with us. We step into our power when we accept responsibility for our lives. "The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. That's when, ‘Why me?’ becomes a theme song."
-- Roger Dawson

"...look at that word blame. It's just a coincidence that the last two letters spell the word me. But that coincidence is worth thinking about. Other people or unfortunate circumstances may have caused you to feel pain, but only you control whether you allow that pain to go on. If you want those feelings to go away, you have to say: ‘It's up to me.’"
-- Arthur Freeman

"Don't make excuses -- make good."
-- Elbert Hubbard

Used with permission from Higher Awareness.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

This reminds me of a time at a meeting when a newcomer was sharing how he had such a difficult time of letting go of blame and shame. I told him, "If you take the word 'me' out of those to words what do you have left. I call it the "bla and sham" game. Told him not to buy into it, and to realize that it was his disease that had done the talking and the action, and he was responsible, but the best way to heal it was to heal himself and take himself out of the equation so he wouldn't have to be a continuing participant.

A long-timer told me a long time ago, one of the biggest contributiong factors leading to relapse is guilt, follwed by blame and shame. He thought that guilt was just as much a factor or more so than resentment. I found that a lot of it was projected onto people by their family and friends where had their own anger and issues and it was easier to point the finger than to deal with their own issues. It is amazing how many people sabatoge people in recovery because of their own denial and guilt, and as a result they play the blame and shame game. More spouses and friends are responsible for relapse than most addicts who are already feeling low self-esteem and self-worth, and they don't like the fact that their spouses find recovery in the rooms and do for others what they won't do for them, not realizing that they don't have the power. The power for recovery is in the rooms of recovery, not in the home or church. They can help if there is support there and understanding, but seldom is that the case.

My brother-in-law never knew where to put his face if I mentioned the fact that I was leaving a family function to go to a meeting.

It is always good to get affirmations and remember whens.

I can still go into the old guilt when it comes to my son and my abusive marriages. The abused often becomes the abuser, and I found myself hitting back in anger, resentment, and that old adage, "It is all your fault!" Looking at the alcoholic and addict instead of looking at myself. When I looked at me, I realized that I needed the 12 Steps for myself and I fit in and qualified for just about any 12 Step room of recovery I walked into.

[MajestyJo]

Over the years, I have found that I have had a lot of guilt, but a lot of false feelings that were not mine to take on. It seemed like I was upset because something happened to you, and I would take it on. I would get angry just because I was your friend, I had to stand by your side. I can be supportive, but that doesn't mean the fight is mine. It doesn't help the other person, just because I feel for them. We have to go through this to get to the other side. I stuffed feelings for years. it took a long time for some of them to surface because I kept pushing them down because I didn't want them to surface.

My little pig lost his animation when I posted, he was bussy eating and is wolfing his treat down. We are not always able to stop of our own accord, no matter what the substance is.

[MajestyJo]

Thought for the Day

Thursday, APRIL 19

From the book: Today's Gift


Inch by inch, row by row

Someone bless these seeds I sow...

'Til the rain comes tumblin' down.

—David Mallett

We plant a garden with faith, never knowing exactly what the harvest will bring. We attend to those aspects of gardening, which we have some control over, planting good seeds in rich soil, in straight rows, the right distance apart. We weed and fertilize, and we tie up our tomato plants.

We may pray for rain, but we never know if we'll get too much or too little. We can't control the wind or rabbits or bugs or the strongest strains of weeds. Yet most of us don't let these things keep us from planting.

With this same sort of faith we can tend to ourselves. Though we don't know what each day will bring, we can plant the seeds in ourselves to meet most anything. We can rise each morning determined to give what we have. We can't plant the seeds for others, and we can't keep the storms from coming. The beauty is, we don't have to.

What seeds of joy can I plant today?

I was told to sew my seeds in good soil and not waste my tim on ground that won't grow. I often take exception to that because we find a patch that doesn't come up to snuff, we bring in things to help it, then we ccan sew those seeds and hopefully the will take root. To be those are the special seeds, which bring joy to me.

[MajestyJo]

Thought for the Day
Tuesday, APRIL 24

From the book: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Thought for the Day

It's been proved that we alcoholics can't get sober by our willpower. We've failed again and again. Therefore I believe there must be a Higher Power, which helps me. I think of that power as the grace of God. And I pray to God every morning for the strength to stay sober today. I know that Power is there because it never fails to help me. Do I believe that A.A. works through the grace of God?

Meditation for the Day


Once I am "born of the spirit," that is my life's breath. Within me is the life of life, so that I can never perish. The life that down the ages has kept God's children through peril, adversity, and sorrow. I must try never to doubt or worry, but follow where the life of the spirit leads. How often, when little I know it, God goes before me to prepare the way, to soften a heart, or to overrule a resentment. As the life of the spirit grows, natural wants become less important.

Prayer for the Day


I pray that my life may become centered in God more than in self. I pray that my will may be directed towards doing His will.

I was told that I didn't have any will power. I replied, "What I didn't have was won't power." I didn't have the power, I was powerless. When I surrendered to my Higher Power, I was empowered to do what I needed to do to stay clean and sober in today.

[MajestyJo]

It’s all in the attitude!

~ Eileen Fehlen ~

We are learning from this program that we are in charge of our attitude. No other person or no situation can force us into a negative frame of mind. And if we have intentionally, though perhaps mindlessly, chosen to feel negative, we can instantly feel positive instead. A gentle reminder is all that’s necessary.

Most of us got so used to negativity that we failed to see that we could feel otherwise. We resented women who always seemed happy and up. Now we understand, but understanding how our attitude is developed and taking charge of it are separate acts.

Being consciously and actively in charge of a positive attitude takes lots of practice, but every time we succeed in changing a bad attitude to a favorable one makes change easier the next time. We will soon discover that we are just as happy as we want to be. The power rests solely with each one of us.

I will be a happy woman today if that is my choice. No one can make me feel otherwise!

It takes one to know one. Didn't like to hear that, but it is true. Recovery begins with me, I am the only one who can change it.

[MajestyJo]

Fear and Faith, they can not occupy the same space. We think we have faith and yet there is often that twinge of fear that creeps up on us. It is often masked by another emotion. Often our fears turn out to be unfounded. If my God leads me to it, He will see me through it.

Often how we perceive things, isn`t in fact reality. I may be our reality in the moment, but that doesn`t necessarily make it real.

Classic Chinese Dragon

The Dragon has always served me well as a symbol of self-confidence and courage. Dragons can make the heart beat stronger instill fire within, and may enable you to stand taller both physically and spiritually speaking.


What I bring from my past is my old tapes, my old behaviors and beliefs, and that is what I need to change in today.

If I want a peaceful and serene life, then if I work on my recovery today, it will make for a better tomorrow.

If I keep looking over my shoulder at my past, then I miss out on today. It can also cause me to trip up in today because I am not watchful of the direction I am taking. The decision I make in today are based on yesterday's experiences instead of the good orderly direction from my Higher Power, if I am not focused and spiritual connected in the moment.

There is no right way or wrong way, all we are asked to do is try.

It is a program of practice, and for me application. I can only do what I can do in today. I can't go into those coulda, shoulda, if onlys, not that I don't, but I try to bring myself back when I am aware that is where I am at.

Really, all we do have is the moment. When you think of it, even an hour ago is old news. The day can start in the moment, just for today, I choose not to use.

I need to let go of the fear to make room for the faith. All I can do is try to be the best me I can be in today. When I stay clean and sober, I have the option.

How I handle each situation is between me and God; if I let Him in and ask for His Care and Direction.

Alcohol is a drug.

[MajestyJo]

June 4

Daily Reflections

LETTING GO OF OUR OLD SELVES

Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. . . . Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 75, 76

The Sixth Step is the last "preparation" Step. Although I have
already used prayer extensively, I have made no formal request of my Higher Power in the first Six Steps. I have identified my problem, come to believe that there is a solution, made a decision to seek this solution, and have "cleaned house." I now ask: Am I willing to live a life of sobriety, of change, to let go of my old self? I must determine if I am truly ready to change. I review what I have done and become willing for God to remove all my defects of character; for in the next Step, I will tell my Creator I am willing and will ask for help. If I have been thorough in the preparation of my foundation and feel that I am willing to change, I am then ready to continue with the next Step. "If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing."

(Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 76)

We need to build a firm foundation so our program won't crash when things are stressful.

I am reminded of the old hymn "How firm a foundation.''

[MajestyJo]

Thought for the Day

Tuesday, JUNE 5

From the book: Touchstones


Where there is no strife there is decay: "The mixture which is not shaken decomposes."

—Heraclitus

Transitions and changes are often painful, sometimes frightening. Often the most troubled lives are those most unyielding to change. When we become so committed to stability that we cannot flow with the never- ending river of life, we wither and die spiritually. Every one of us has changes moving within our lives. Some changes are beneath the surface and we only vaguely sense them. Others are obvious and we are dealing with their effects. When we see change only as a problem or as pain, we have a harder time getting on with our lives

Looking back, we can see other changes we would never have chosen or planned for ourselves. We can see now that we grew with them. Change forced us into new realms, and we found sides of ourselves we hadn't known before. Through whatever strife and difficulty of change we face today, we have a stable program to fall back on. And we have our relationship with our Higher Power, which is with us through all times.

I will try to have a lighter grip upon life today so that as the river of change flows, I can flow with it.

i was told if there wasn't strife, we wouldn't appreciate the good times when they came, we would take them for granted. We need to strive for our recovery. We have to be willing to do what ever it takes in order to recover.

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.

God as We Understand God

God is subtle, but he is not malicious. --Albert Einstein

Recovery is an intensely spiritual process that asks us to grow in our understanding of God. Our understanding may have been shaped by early religious experiences or the beliefs of those around us. We may wonder if God is as shaming and frightening as people can be. We may feel as victimized or abandoned by God as we have by people from our past.

Trying to understand God may boggle our mind because of what we have learned and experienced so far in our life.

We can learn to trust God, anyway.

I have grown and changed in my understanding of this Power greater than myself. My understanding has not grown on an intellectual level, but because of what I have experienced since I turned my life and my will over to the care of God, as I understood, or rather didn't understand, God.

God is real. Loving. Good. Caring. God wants to give us all the good we can handle. The more we turn our mind and heart toward a positive understanding of God, the more God validates us.

The more we thank God for who God is, who we are, and the exact nature of our present circumstances, the more God acts in our behalf.

In fact, all along, God planned to act in our behalf.

God is Creator, Benefactor, and Source. God has shown me, beyond all else, that how I come to understand God is not nearly as important as knowing that God understand me.

Today, I will be open to growing in my understanding of my Higher Power. I will be open to letting go of old, limiting, and negative beliefs about God. No matter how I understand God, I will be grateful that God understands me.

I can go through anything a day at a time, a moment at a time with the faith and the knowledge that my Higher Power is guiding me to peace and security. --Ruth Fishel

When I came into recovery. I said I know who God is. I was raised in the church, taught Sunday School, sang in the choir and did church 3 times on Sunday. When I got to my first year, I didn't know who God was, I went on a Spiritual Quest and found out that my Gd was so much bigger than I knew Him to be, and I had to make my relationship with my God personal, not what other people had told me He was to them. God was an old tape. He was too big to fit in church. God is evrywhere. my God is as He revels Himself to me in today.