We Do Recover

[MajestyJo]

It is so important for me to find my own truth. For me that is what recovery is. I have had so many hand-me-down tapes over the years that I didn't know what was mine to take ownership of. I lived my life through others and I was what they wanted me to be. People pleasing and going outside of myself for love, affection, affirmation, validation, and self-worth just didn't cut it for me. I wore many masks, played many roles, had very thick and high walls hiding that Inner Self and I didn't let her come out very often. I had no concept of my Inner Child. One friend said I just never grew up. I think it was more like I didn't know how to play. I didn't know how to let myself go and have fun. I had to do a lot of work in this area. My humour is still sarkey and the words are their the actions aren't. I just not big on slap-stick. Maybe because I got slapped around too many times for expressing who I was. It is nice to know it is okay to be me.

It is one thing to be honest. Self-honesty is another ball of wax completely.

Originally posted on another site in 2009

Well I don't get slapped around any more and often, it is me not being honest with me that catches up with me and bites me on the a$$.

Our emotions can come out and show themselves physically.

[MajestyJo]

Recovery is an inside job.

Walk Carefully and Carry A Big Book

They say the longest journey is from the head to the heart. How many times we had to 'think' things out, yet how could we possibly think we could make rational decision and make good choice when our minds are fogged up with drugs, our brains confused over mixed messages and old tapes, and how can we really know what we want because most of our life we were told what we should do and believe.

Be proud of the body you're in. After all, the outside is not you.

Spiritual quote by Sylvia Browne

The beauty shows from the inside out. The Inner Self is there trying to portray to you and others the real you.

Osho says, ...Make more and more moments of your life luminous with awareness. Let the candle of awareness burn in each moment, in each act. The cumulaive effect is what enlightenment is. The cumulative affect, all the moments together, all small candles together, become a great source of light.

As we make changes, we slowly become aware, often others see it before we do. We find that our God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Posted on another site in 2011

This came to mind when I was doing the Just for Today chip. It is nice to come and find affirmation and further thoughts on the topic.

[dwmoeller]

I like the quote: Recovery is an inside job.

For sobriety to work, a desire to quit is necessary and to realize that if you don't quit, your addiction is going to kill you. You have to be ready to make a change in your life. You have to do it for yourself. Use the tools of recovery that you have learned, work the program, connect with your Higher Power, and always be on guard. There is an inner strength within....tap into it.

[MajestyJo]

Beings of Light
Human Angels

During each of our journeys, there are those inevitable moments when someone comes into our life at precisely the right time and says or does precisely the right thing. Their words or actions may help us perceive ourselves more clearly, remind us that everything will turn out for the best, help us cope, or see us through difficult situations. These people are human angels – individuals designated by the universe to be of service to those in need at specific points in time. Some human angels make a commitment before their births to make a positive contribution to the world at a particular moment. Others were chosen by the universe. All human angels, however, come into our lives when we least expect them and when we can most benefit from their presence.

A few of the human angels we may encounter are in professions where helping others is an everyday occurrence. But most of them are regular people, going about their daily lives until called upon to be in the right place at the right time to bring peace, joy, help, or heal someone when they most need it. You may have met a human angel in the form of a teacher who gave you a piece of advice that touched your soul and influenced your path. The person that momentarily stopped you to say hello on the street, delaying you long enough to avoid an oncoming car or a collision, is also a human angel. They may offer nothing more than a kind word or a smile, but they will offer it when you can draw the most strength and support from their simple action.

You may be a human angel yet not know it. Your fate or intuition may guide you toward other people’s challenging or distressing situations, leading you to infer that you simply have bad luck. But recognizing yourself as a human angel can help you deal with the pain you see and understand that you are there to help and comfort others during their times of need. Human angels give of their inner light to all who need it, coming into our lives and often changing us forever. Their task has its challenges, but it is they that have the power to teach, bring us joy, and comfort us in times of despair.

What do you think?

This may not be an AA quote, but it sure reminds me of all the guardian angels put in my path, especially those in early recovery. I was truly blessed with a lot of long-timers with 20 plus years of sobriety., along with many who walked their talk and guided me on my own road.

One who comes to the forefront was a gentleman who had 25 years of sobriety and was still going to meetings daily to give back what was given to him. Another one who celebrated 46 years this year, who was my spiritual advisor for many years who told me that just because they were in AA didn't mean what they said was right for me. He said, "They will show you how to work your program and how NOT to work your program." There will always be a message for you if you are open to listening.

I had a Native Elder tell me, "It isn't what you were or who you were when you were born, it is about who you are in today." She gave me a piece of Fools Gold and I gave her a gift of tobacco. I have no Native blood to my knowledge in my body yet I have felt a very strong link to Native culture. Another Elder came to the recovery house and explained the Medicine Wheel. It had a big impact on my Spiritual growth and perspective on my journey.

I have always liked the saying about Step Four. You have to get rid of the darkness so the light of reason can shine. I had to make room for the Light.

The original above was written on another site in 2008.

One of my favourite quotes. I had to do an inventory of what was there, bring it into the light and get honest about it. Bring it out of the darkness of my denial, and bring it into the open, so I could make changes. Some things had to be just adjusted, other things had to be rejected, others acceptance and built on. It wasn't all bad. I had to look at the positive and all that I had buried and suppressed and lighten my burden. This happened after the 4th Step, when I worked the 5th Step.

[MajestyJo]

On gray days, I turn all the lights on in my apartment. My friend use to call me a sunshine girl. I had to smile, because a Toronto paper featured a Sunshine Girl in their Saturday addition. I wasn't sure if his idea and mine came from the same place.

For me, the sun is healing and I need to get out in it. If I don't I have to get out the Vitamins "C" and "D." I also take Vitamin B compound.

[MajestyJo]

Had a friend ask me about grieving this week. My friend is planning to move and I didn't realize how much grieving is attached to such a big change in your life. She is moving to a positive situation and yet to be able to accept and enjoy the new, you need to grieve the old.

This was posted to help another friend. I was never sexually abused until I was an adult.

Grief is anything that is a loss in your life. Every time I go through change in my routine, in my circumstances, in my day to day living, I need to go through the grieving process. Grief is not a straight forward process, you can jump from one feeling to another and back again and it takes time.

Realized that I have been going through a grieving process with regards to my son. It is so easy to see it in others but when you are in it, it isn't always easy to recognize. I think I have finally come to the acceptance part and there will be no more of the other up and down emotions.

Always thought grief had five stages, this site lists seven.

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-...-of-grief.html

These could be repeats, found them on another site.

Always good to remember that grief isn't just about a loss of a friend and a death of a loved one. We have a lot to grieve in early recovery.

Be kind to yourself. Find things that soothe your soul.

[MajestyJo]

Your expectations

Your expectations can make things more difficult than they would otherwise be. Or they can make things go better than they would otherwise go.

Much depends on what you expect. Positive expectations often pave the way for positive experiences.

Other people pick up on your expectations and, more often than not, will act in accordance with them. So it pays to expect the best of others.

The person most influenced by your expectations is you. When you genuinely expect the best of yourself, something inside you will do everything possible to deliver.

The great thing is, your expectations are yours to decide.

No complex skills or scarce resources are needed in order for you to expect the best of yourself, of others, of this day and this moment.

Your expectations set the range within which your reality operates. Expect the best, and you greatly increase your chances of getting it.

Ralph Marston

Like this, it is generally my expectations that take me from sobriety to being just sober. My sponsor told me sobriety meant soundness of mind.

Living with my dysfunctional family growing up, didn't make for much soundness of mind. With all the fear, insecurities, and discontent, I didn't expect much good, in fact as my life progressed, and I was married, I expected the worse. There didn't seem to be any good. If it was there, I didn't see it or chose not to see it, incase it ruined my pity party.

I had no thought of lowering my expectations, didn't know there was such an animal. I wasn't taught a lot of living skills, didn't have much interaction with the world at large and found it to be a big scary place when I emerged out of my box, only to move into another one. A guy who heard me speak said, "Jo you are the only person I know that would refer to a 200 acre farm as a box." I later saw the box, in the institution of marriage (twice), but the truth of the matter was, I was a prisoner of my own mind. I didn't need bars or walls to keep me in, my mind told me that I dare not venture out, I would only get hurt or hurt more. I wasn't willing to take that risk.

Risk and stretching our boundaries are part of our recovery. The readings have been sharing on allowing ourselves to become vulnerable. The scariest thing I had to do in recovery.

Thanks for letting me share.

This was something I shared on another site in January of 2013.

When I have expectations, I don't have much acceptance. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations and we set ourselves up for hurt and disappointment.

I have always put a lot of expectations on myself. I have had to learn to lower them and not be so hard on myself.

[MajestyJo]

Begetting Change

Same Choices, Same Results

Repeated bouts of adversity are an unavoidable aspect of human existence. We battle against our inner struggles or outer world forces, and in many cases, we emerge on the opposite side of struggle stronger and better equipped to cope with the challenges yet to come. However, we can occasionally encounter trials that seem utterly hopeless. We strike at them with all of our creativity and perseverance, hoping desperately to bring about change, only to meet with the same results as always. Our first instinct in such situations is often to push harder against the seemingly immovable obstruction before us, assuming that this time we will be met with a different outcome. But staying power and stamina net us little when the same choices consistently garner the same results. A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past points where no amount of effort seems sufficient to overcome the difficulties before us.

Whether our intention is to change ourselves or some element of the world around us, we cannot simply wish for transformation or hope that our lives will be altered through circumstance. If our patterns of thought and behavior remain unchanged, our lives will continue to unfold much as they have previously. Patterns in which fruitless efforts prevail can be overcome with self examination and courage. It is our bravery that allows us to question the choices we have made thus far and to channel our effort into innovation. Asking questions and making small adjustments to your thought processes and behaviors will help you discover what works, so you can leave that which does not work behind you. To break free from those unconscious patterns that have long held sway over your actions and reactions, you will likely have to challenge your assumptions on a most basic level. You must accept once and for all that your beliefs with regard to cause and effect may no longer be in accorda! nce with your needs.

Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of possibility, and you need only step away from the well-worn circular path to explore the untried paths that lie beyond it.

What do you think?

Some people say, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Many do not like change in any way, shape, or form.

For me, I embraced change. Going back to where I came from was not an option. I didn't want to stay where I was at and continue in old patterns and behaviours. To do this, mean I left myself open for relapse.

Whether it is a lapse in judgment, a lapse back into an old way of handling and doing things, they are all detrimental to my sobriety (soundness of mind), I didn't want to be that old me, and even in today, I am still a work in progress. It is a one day at a time program.

[MajestyJo]

The Twelve Rewards Of Sobriety undefined
These are twelve attributes of personal character that continued practice of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and our continued Spiritual Fitness will bring to us, the "Recovered" Alcoholic.

1. Faith instead of despair.
2. Courage instead of fear.
3. Hope instead of desperation.
4. Peace of mind instead of confusion.
5. Real friendships instead of loneliness.
6. Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
7. Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
8. A clean conscience instead of a sense of guilt.
9. The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt.
10. A clean pattern of living instead of a hopeless existence.
11. The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
12. The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.

Originally by Ann C. (sober April 1, 1948) of Niles, Ohio and presented at
the 1985 International Convention in Montreal, Canada

This is a post that BW made on another site. Not sure if she posted it here or not, but I found it today and it spoke to me, so I thought I would share it with you.

[MajestyJo]

It says in the Big Book of AA, we do recover. I will always be an addict! It is up to me to work my program to the best of my ability each day, and I will not have to live in that hopeless state of mind and body.

It says that it could restore us to sanity, and as a friend of mine says, `It doesn`t say it would.`

That insanity can creep back into our lives given the first opportunity. It is up to me to recognize it and do what it takes to stop my dis-ease, and pick upp the tools of recovery, and take me out of that place.

I no longer want to act out in my disease. I have to change the old behaviours, habits, and old ways of thinking, to have a better tomorrow. Tomorrows never come, but I can hope for one and there is a good chance I will make it, if I live my program, one day at a time.

I can`t allow my fear and my past stand in my way of today.

[MajestyJo]

"Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot".

- - Guy Finley

The only way I can handle expectations is to lower them so that they are attainable or not set myself up and don't place them at all.

I expect myself to do well. Doing less than, has always been a problem with me. In today, I allow for the fact that I am human although in the past that seemed like an excuse.

I have heard people say, "Well I am only human;" or "I am an addict;" or "I am an alcoholic; or "I am married to an ..., what do you expect." and excuse themselves from change and trying to better themselves.

I think they can be a trust issue. I expect my Higher Power to be there for me and yet, if I am not where He wants me to be and I forgot to take Him with me, then there is a good chance that He is looking the other way.

A post I made in 2009

A good one, for me in today. As it says in the Big Book, I need to raise the level of my acceptance and lower my expectations.

Not only of myself but of others too. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations that WE project onto them. Most times, it isn't there job anyway.

[MajestyJo]

"Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot".

- - Guy Finley

The only way I can handle expectations is to lower them so that they are attainable or not set myself up and don't place them at all.

I expect myself to do well. Doing less than, has always been a problem with me. In today, I allow for the fact that I am human although in the past that seemed like an excuse.

I have heard people say, "Well I am only human;" or "I am an addict;" or "I am an alcoholic; or "I am married to an ..., what do you expect." and excuse themselves from change and trying to better themselves.

I think they can be a trust issue. I expect my Higher Power to be there for me and yet, if I am not where He wants me to be and I forgot to take Him with me, then there is a good chance that He is looking the other way.

A post I made in 2009

A good one, for me in today. As it says in the Big Book, I need to raise the level of my acceptance and lower my expectations.

Not only of myself but of others too. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations that WE project onto them. Most times, it isn't there job anyway.

[MajestyJo]

"Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot".

- - Guy Finley

The only way I can handle expectations is to lower them so that they are attainable or not set myself up and don't place them at all.

I expect myself to do well. Doing less than, has always been a problem with me. In today, I allow for the fact that I am human although in the past that seemed like an excuse.

I have heard people say, "Well I am only human;" or "I am an addict;" or "I am an alcoholic; or "I am married to an ..., what do you expect." and excuse themselves from change and trying to better themselves.

I think they can be a trust issue. I expect my Higher Power to be there for me and yet, if I am not where He wants me to be and I forgot to take Him with me, then there is a good chance that He is looking the other way.

A post I made in 2009

A good one, for me in today. As it says in the Big Book, I need to raise the level of my acceptance and lower my expectations.

Not only of myself but of others too. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations that WE project onto them. Most times, it isn't there job anyway.

[MajestyJo]

Quote of the Week

"My definition of balance is being able to obsess equally in all areas of my life!"

As an alcoholic I completely understand all or nothing thinking. When I was in my disease, I used to obsessively plan out my drinking and using, always making sure I had the right amount of drugs on me, and I would even drink before meeting friends at the bar just so I could pretend to drink like them. In the end, my obsession consumed me and drove me into the rooms.

Once I started working the steps, I began obsessing on other things. For a while I was consumed with dying, sure I had done irreparable damage to myself during my years of using. Next I became obsessed with the fear of financial insecurity, this time convinced I had ruined my professional future. And then I got into a relationship and that obsession nearly drove me to drink. During my sixth step I realized that I had to surrender my obsessive thinking if I wanted to stay sober.

For me surrendering my obsessive thinking came down to a question of faith - did I or didn't I trust that my Higher Power would take care of me? As I began to obsess on that, my sponsor told me that faith wasn't a thought but rather an action. He suggested I begin letting go and letting God, and each time I did my life got a little better.

Today I know that obsessing isn't the answer, turning it over is.

Wisdom of the Rooms

Surrender is not giving up, it is giving over to our Higher Power.

[MajestyJo]

In living with the disease of alcoholism, I became a very fearful person who dreaded change. Although my life was full of chaos., it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion. I have learned in Al-Anon that I am powerless over alcoholism and many other things. I've also learned that chante is inevitable.

I no longer have to assume that change is bad because I can look back at changes that have had a very positive effect on me, such as coming to Al-Anon.

I still have many fears, but the Al-Anon program has shown me that my Higher Power willhelp me walk through them. I believe that there is a Power greater than myself, and I choose to trust this Power to know exactly what I need and when I need it.

Today's Reminder

Today I can accept the changes occurring in my life and live more comfortably with them. I will trust in the God of my understanding, and my fears will diminish. I relax in this knowledge, knowing that I am always taken care of when I listen to my inner voice.

"We may wonder how we are going to get through all the stages and phases, the levels of growth and recovery.... Knowing we are not alone often quiets our fears and helps us gain perspective."

- Living with Sobriety

We are not alone. I need to reach out and ask for help. My God will put the people in my life that I need to show me a better way of life.

That courage doesn't come from me. The knowing is given to me by my Higher Power. All things come through Him and it has been my goal for the last 25 years, to be a channel, so that I may help others.