MIXED BAGGAGE

[MajestyJo]

"We were trapped by our need for the instant gratification that drugs gave us."

Basic Text, pp.24-25

This was brought home to me when I quit smoking. I tried using Zyban and I took the pill and my immediate thought was, "Well I took the pill, why do I still want a cigarette." When I realized that the stinking thinking went with the pill, I quit taking them and ended up giving them to someone who wanted to quit. They worked for him. Unfortunately, he didn't stay clean and sober, a few months later, he chose to go back out.

I want it now, if not yesterday! How easy it is for that old thinking to come back. The nice thing is that I am able to recognize it for what it is and change it. I used the program and didn't substitute with food or use pill maintenance. I lost three pounds. Mind you, later when I didn't have the cigarettes to stuff the emotions, I did on occasion use food only to fight a new battle.

It was a real awakening for me to become aware of the fact that I could pray for the willingness to be willing. It applies to so many areas of my life. The Twelve Steps helped me quit smoking, helps me with my eating disorder and my chronic pain. It may not seem like it has helped with my computer addiction and yet my mental and emotional state is so much better and I do not obsess like I use to. I think I am more addicted to web sites and building them than the computer. It is just a means to get me to where I want to go.