Chipping Away at Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Whoops! It looks like I got mixed up and forgot and put "Just for today" on this post. Just shows where my head has been at. What comes to mind, "Be sure your sins will find you out!"

Acceptance/Defiance

It is difficult, when doctor and medical people want you to be there on time, but when you get there, it is their time which doesn't run on our time clock.

I think it is normal. If you are 15 min. late for an appointment, you have to rebook. If you are early, you still have to wait 1/2 to an hour after your appointment, if you are lucky. This is just in my doctor's office, never mind specialists, lab and x-ray, although our x-ray people are pretty good.

I have had to go without food for a lot of test over the years. It would be easier if I could stop eating at midnight and go to sleep, but it seldom works that way and I have to deal with the feelings until such a time I sleep, if I sleep at all. Again, it does boil down to acceptance. If I am in the defiant stage, I only add to the misery and my feelings grow out of proportion and can be overwhelming. Many times I wish I could pick up a cigarette, but for me to pick up a cigarette is to die. I would die faster than if I picked up a pill or a drink, and they aren't options either in today. I can't abuse any substance, especially pills. I am on different kinds of medication for my heart, diabetes, arthritis, etc. I had to pray and ask my God to help me deal with the thoughts and feelings I had when I took them. If I found myself taking a pill and waiting for the fix, then I shouldn't be taking it. Again it is the mental aspect, and if I am thinking that the pill is the solution, I know that somewhere along the way, I left my God out of the equation.